V01.
Chapter 14.
“Falling apart slowly.”
16: O.J.M.
V01.
Chapter 14.
“Falling apart slowly.”
As I got older, I would write in my journals more often.
I had so much free time as a kid that I wouldn’t put as much down, which is why so many, if not all of these, are so short.
I also figured I would remember it all.
A part of me wishes that I had written more.
I also formed a terrible habit of burning my completed journals after a while…some of the experiences were too hard to relive.
Too hard to have to remember.
Too hard…
Even now, some of those old journals haunt me…
I think more so because I burned them, you know?
I feel like the memories resent me for not wanting to have them in my head.
Bah lol.
I get lost in thought, and I just write freely.
I don’t embarrass easily.
Obviously lol.
Enjoy.
A journal entry: September 27th, 2004.
Still 15 years old.
Hey wassup?
Long time no write, huh?
I wrote back that annoying 13-year-old who likes me, and I really cursed her out because this is the 3rd time I’ve had to turn her down.
I keep telling her I am taken and in a happy relationship, but she doesn’t like much to listen…
Speaking of relationships, I hope me and XXXXX’s are doing good…we haven’t talked for a while and I hope we are not falling apart slowly…
God, help us.
Remember how I said I was always aware of how old I was?
This young lady would drive me CRAZY!
She had the biggest crush on me, and I was SO almost 16 that there was no way in hell that I would give her my attention.
I was coming into that mindset of being too cool, too old, too this, too that.
I was a bit full of myself because I was a little handsome, and no longer a virgin, lol.
I was at the age and point where my mom’s friends would “flirt” with me, and my young head and ego would inflate to the size of a basketball.
Soccer ball.
I liked soccer as a kid, I wasn’t into basketball.
This was mainly due to it being so stereotypically shoved down my throat in high school since I was nearly six feet tall and Black.
Lbvs.
As for the “happy relationship.” I really don’t recall dating this girl lol.
I remember wanting to so badly.
So very, very badly.
I remember being madly in love with her.
But I can’t honestly say that we were anything more than just friends.
I think it was blown up in my head a lot more as a kid, but maybe grown-up me could just be recalling things wrong…these journals seem to be pretty adamant and repeating in theme though, you know?
I guess we will find out together lol
That seems to be the thing here!
See you soon, folks.