Looking over some of these old pages is just taking me through time I tell you.
I don’t remember some of these things, but the more prominent parts still stick with me.
The parts that were the hardest.
The parts that were the best.
It can be a lot to digest here in 2024 man…
A lot that I probably should have addressed and maybe matured out of, you know?
I am only human I suppose.
Whelp!
It makes for some good reads apparently lol
This strange little serialization just jumped from 2.5K views up to 4.44 overnight!
I am glad that my strange life has captivated you all, and I hope that it -for whatever reason it does- continues to do so.
Let’s see what I got up to with this next entry, yeah?
Enjoy.
March 12th, 2012.
Journal #022.
So it’s a boy.
XXXXX XXXX XXX.
Welcome.
Soon enough.
But the million-dollar question remains…
Is he mine?
I fear that outcome because I do want this kid.
I just want to be 100% sure that I’m not raising someone else’s child.
Good that my best friend supports me in that…
I can’t wait to be done with school.
All goes well with work so far.
I hope all continues to go well.
I am going to follow everything to the “T” as they say.
There’s not much to say…
I miss Kasi.
So much.
I can feel her with me.
Everyday.
All the time.
Most of the time…
But I do care deeply for her…
We will see what comes with time.
I miss XXXXX,
It’s been far too long since we last hung out, and I don’t like the distant feel that’s growing between us.
Not at all.
She is a great friend, and a pillar in my life that I never want to lose.
XXXXX is silent.
Good riddance.
XXXXX is going through a lot with her relatives (two) passing away.
I wish I could do more for her.
Grrrrrrrrrrrr…
Hmmm.
What have I gotten myself into?…
Hmm.
A boy.
Y’all have no idea how much I wanted a girl!
LMAO.
No, for real though!
I was more than happy just to be a father, you know?
But I’ve always wanted a little lady to love forever, you know?
A daughters love, and what not.
A fathers love, and what not.
But a child, is a child, is a child!
Many people are not blessed to have a child at all, you know?
Work and school were going as good as they could be at this point, I had no idea how hectic it would soon become, but what could be more intense than having a child?
-I was nearing the mid-point in school, and my job did seem to be shaping up to be more of a career than anything.
I was okay.
-Kasi had been, has been, and will be my guardian until the day I die.
She is funny that way, as Faeri are and tend to be.
Whenever I am exceedingly stressed, her presence fades.
Faeology is…interesting, to say the VERY least lol.
-As for the person I cared for a lot who also apparently annoyed me?
That would be she-who-carried-my-child lol This is kinda hard to do without using names, but I GOT THIS lol.
Anyway, I still had some sort of feeling for her, for whatever reason.
I had always loved too deeply…foolishly.
I am single now for that very reason.
But I learned to not lover her with time.
I had too.
I had a horrible habit of looking the other way with things when I love someone, as I am sure that many of us do.
That changed.
Keep reading lol.
-The XXXXX that I was growing distant with was a good friend of mine that I had meet nearly seven years go at that point.
Remember the woman from chapter 14 who told me she loved me while she was drunk?
Yes, that one lol.
-As for the silent one?
I wished her the best and kept moving, you know?
I would only ever walk her home after class.
I was strictly platonic, you know?
Even though I did find her very attractive.
I tend to know my place and stick to it, and when I am noted as a “friend.” I play that role well, and respect boundaries.
I believe that she started seeing a new guy, and he was very…territorial?
I hate to use that word, but you know how some guys can be.
-As for the last name?
I can’t remember this chick for the life of me! lol I keep trying to play back my memories and see if something sparks something, you know?
And NOTHING!
We must not have had a very prominent or prosperous relationship, for whatever it was.
I do wish her the best, even if I don’t recall who she is.
I will see you all back here soon enough, yeah?
I hope that this entry find you all well and healthy.
See you soon folks.
-Redd.
P.S.
Maybe I’ll be able to get a physical copy printed someday!
Feel good about how this chapter makes you feel?
I love you all.