10 – Secrets
Shen Qiu looked up and said to Ye Chen, “Since we have nothing to do now, why don’t I show you my little courtyard?”
Ye Chen nodded, “Alright.”
Shen Qiu took Ye Chen’s hand and led him outside. This was the first time Shen Qiu had actively held Ye Chen’s hand. Looking at their tightly clasped hands, Ye Chen knew in his heart that his Qiu’er was beginning to accept him.
Although their story had started off poorly, it was finally heading in a good direction, wasn’t it? This was enough. In this second chance at life, Ye Chen felt an indescribable gratitude. He only wanted to stay by his Qiu’er’s side every moment, engraving her voice, smile, and everything about her in his heart, never to forget her through all lifetimes, always able to find her again.
Shen Qiu’s courtyard wasn’t large, with a pear tree that had already shed its blossoms and begun bearing fruit, though the fruits were only about the size of a thumb. When they came out, Xing Er and Ming Yue were playing a stone-tossing game with a few other maids in the shade beneath the tree.
Xing Er called out, “Miss, Young Master.”
Ye Chen glanced at Xing Er and gave her a meaningful look, whereupon she led Ming Yue and the two other maids outside the gate.
Shen Qiu watched them but didn’t expose Ye Chen’s little scheme.
Shen Qiu brought Ye Chen to the back of the tree, picked up a shovel, and began digging.
Ye Chen took the shovel from Shen Qiu’s hands and asked, “Is there something buried here?”
Shen Qiu smiled and said, “This contains my treasures, and my secret!”
Ye Chen looked at Shen Qiu and said, “Qiu’er, are you going to share your secret with me? Does this mean you’ve forgiven me?”
Shen Qiu smiled and replied, “What else can I do? You won’t agree to a divorce anyway. Since you’re trying to change, we should look forward. If I keep dwelling on that day, I’ll never have peace, right?”
“Rather than obsessing over that day, I’d rather give you a chance, and we can live well together.”
Overwhelmed with emotion, Ye Chen suddenly picked Shen Qiu up and spun her around.
“Ah!”
“What’s wrong?” Ye Chen felt like he might have swung Shen Qiu into something.
“My foot hit the tree!”
Ye Chen set Shen Qiu down and immediately moved to take off her shoe, saying, “Let me see, does it hurt?”
Shen Qiu smiled and said, “It’s fine, it doesn’t hurt. Hurry up and dig there—it’s almost lunchtime. Don’t you want to see my treasures?”
Ye Chen kissed Shen Qiu on the forehead and said, “Alright, I’ll dig it up right now and see what treasures my Qiu’er has been hiding!”
Ye Chen dug down about a foot and unearthed a box, tightly wrapped in oilpaper.
Shen Qiu took the box and led Ye Chen back into the house.
Slowly, Shen Qiu unwrapped the paper from the box, revealing a very plain container without any carvings or decorations.
In his previous life, Ye Chen had lived here for ten years without ever discovering this box.
Shen Qiu opened it to reveal an assortment of children’s toys.
Picking up a small cloth doll, Shen Qiu said, “Look, I made this myself. Back then, my mother was teaching me needlework, but the embroidery needle never felt as natural in my hand as a sword did.”
“But I really liked dolls, so my mother taught me how to make cloth dolls. By the time I could make one that was presentable, my needlework had actually improved quite a bit too. Isn’t that amazing?”
“This cloth doll is the very first one I ever made.”Ye Chen took the cloth doll with rather crude stitching, a smile playing on his lips as he gently stroked its fabric.
Shen Qiu then produced a silver bell slightly larger than a pigeon’s egg. Ye Chen stared at the bell, finding it increasingly familiar.
Shen Qiu handed the bell to Ye Chen and asked, “You should recognize this bell, right?”
Ye Chen took it and examined it carefully before saying, “I feel like I’ve seen it before, but I can’t recall where at the moment!”
Shen Qiu looked at Ye Chen with a smile and said, “Twelve years ago, by the lotus pond in the Imperial Garden, there was a chubby girl wearing a goose-yellow dress!”
“Remember now?”
Ye Chen shook his head. Shen Qiu continued, “It was pouring rain that day—the Empress’s birthday! That chubby girl was being bullied.”
Ye Chen’s eyes suddenly lit up as he looked at Shen Qiu and said, “That little girl was you?”
Shen Qiu nodded with a smile and replied, “Yes, it was me.”
“That was the first time I followed my mother back to the capital. I hadn’t started practicing martial arts yet. It was only after returning from that trip that I began training.”
Shen Qiu took the bell from Ye Chen’s hand and said, “Back then, I had a cloth doll that some girls threw into the pond. After you scared them away, you gave this to me!”
“I still remember you saying: ‘Stop crying, your snot is running into your mouth.’ You even wiped my nose with disgust.”
Ye Chen looked at the bell, his heart instantly wrenching with pain. So early, so very early, his Qiu’er had known him, while he had been an entire lifetime late. The more Ye Chen thought about it, the angrier he became, clenching his fists tightly.
He wished he could slap himself. How could he have wronged his Qiu’er so deeply, hurting her so profoundly in their previous life?
Seeing the change in Ye Chen’s expression, Shen Qiu waved her hand in front of his face and asked worriedly, “What’s wrong? Are you unhappy that I kept this?”
Ye Chen suddenly pulled Shen Qiu into his embrace, murmuring, “I’m sorry, I’m sorry, Qiu’er. I’ve made you suffer.”
At this moment, besides treating his Qiu’er well, Ye Chen had only these three words to offer. Yet these words felt too light, utterly inadequate to convey the regret and self-loathing in his heart—regret for not cherishing their previous life, hatred for having destroyed his Qiu’er with his own hands.
How could he ever love his Qiu’er enough?
Shen Qiu patted Ye Chen’s back and said, “Alright, stop dwelling on what happened that day. We have to look forward, right? As long as you treat me well from now on, that’s enough!”
Behind Shen Qiu’s back, unseen by her, Ye Chen was already weeping bitterly. What virtue did he, Ye Chen, possess to deserve such a Qiu’er?
Ye Chen smiled and said, “Qiu’er, I must have been a heroic savior for many lifetimes to have met you!”
Shen Qiu pulled away from Ye Chen and said, “Alright, I was sharing a secret with you. How did we end up with you crying?”
She then pulled Ye Chen down to sit and began taking out each item from her box one by one to show him, like a child proudly displaying her toys to a playmate.
As Ye Chen listened to Shen Qiu tell the story behind each little object, he felt incredibly fortunate. In his Qiu’er’s secrets, he held a special place.
And so, Ye Chen became completely immersed in Shen Qiu’s voice and smile, unable to extricate himself.