Cornelius Fudge sat in Dumbledore's office, sweating through his expensive robes like a man who had just realized his
entire career was teetering on the edge of a very deep, very dark abyss.
He had just contacted
every judge
involved in Sirius Black's sham trial, hoping for a reasonable response—perhaps a call for
justice
?
Reevaluation of the case?
Instead, their reply was simple:
"Silence them. Put Black back in Azkaban and ensure he doesn't leave alive."
The room fell into a
horrified silence
as Madam Bones, Minerva McGonagall, Snape, Dumbledore, and Lupin read the letter.
McGonagall looked like she wanted to
throw up.
Lupin clenched his fists, shaking with
rage.
Snape—who had
never
liked Black—had a
rare expression of disgust.
Even
Dumbledore's twinkle momentarily died.
Fudge, meanwhile,
turned into a human puddle of panic.
"Th-this is ridiculous!" he stammered, trying to smooth down his robe as if
adjusting fabric could erase corruption.
"They're suggesting we just
kill
him," Madam Bones whispered, voice thick with controlled fury.
"And
sweep it under the rug,
" Snape added,
pinching the bridge of his nose.
"Disgusting," Lupin spat, glaring at the Minister like he was the
manifestation of everything wrong with the world.
But amidst the tension, Raja...
Smirked.
Because, of course, he
already knew this was going to happen.
With
dramatic flair
, Raja
snapped his fingers
, and with a
soft
pop
, a
dignified, regal-looking
Dobby appeared, wearing a
perfectly tailored butler's uniform.
"Master," Dobby said, bowing elegantly, "Dobby has arrived."
Fudge, who had
never seen an elf behave like a nobleman
, looked like he'd swallowed his own tie.
Raja nodded with an air of
noble suffering.
"Dobby, you know what to do."
Dobby
adjusted his white gloves
and took the letter Raja handed him,
nodding solemnly.
"Of course, Master. Before he became a butler, Dobby's late master was an
MI6 agent.
Stealth is in Dobby's very bones."
Madam Bones blinked. "...I'm sorry.
What?
"
But before anyone could demand an explanation,
Dobby vanished.
The letter was addressed to
Rita Skeeter
, and it was a
beautifully-crafted bomb of journalistic chaos.
It detailed everything:
The
sham trial
of Sirius Black
The
attempt on Pettigrew's life to silence him
The
Minister's negligence
A
well-placed manipulation to make it seem like noble families were responsible for the attack
And at the very end, Raja had added:
"Urgent! Report before they execute Sirius Black, your disciple of justice, SHADE."
Because nothing motivated
Rita Skeeter
like a
scandal
big enough to set the wizarding world on fire.
By
morning
, the gates of
Hogwarts were under siege.
A
horde of reporters
from the
Daily Prophet
,
Wizarding Weekly
,
The Quibbler
, and even a
French publication Raja had never heard of
were demanding an
interview with Sirius Black and the Minister.
Fudge
looked like he was about to fake his own death
and flee the country.
Dumbledore, ever the
agent of controlled chaos
, simply smiled and said, "Well, it seems we have an audience."
Madam Bones, now carrying
a migraine the size of Europe
, sighed. "Let's get this over with."
So out they went—
Fudge, Bones, Sirius, Dumbledore, and Raja.
Naturally,
Raja immediately took over the entire thing.
"Ladies and gentlemen!"
Raja shouted,
spreading his arms wide like a preacher welcoming lost souls.
The cameras
flashed like crazy.
Reporter 1: Who are you? why are you taking the part of spoke person in this tiuation.
Raja " Because I was the person who found the Mr. black and made him realise vengeance is not the solution.
Reporter 2: How did you find him.
Raja:
"Ah, my brother. It is written in the sacred texts of Merlin, and by sacred texts, I mean..."
Pulls out the
Marauder's Map
dramatically.
Raja:
"This bad boy right here showed me a name that should NOT have existed—one Peter Pettigrew!"
Gasps from the crowd.
Sirius:
[grinning]
"Bloody brilliant."
Rita Skeeter:
"And what did you do when you realized this, Pastor Kumara?"
Raja:
*"Did I panic? Nay. Did I run to the Ministry like a fool expecting justice? Nay again! I, the humble shepherd of truth, walked into the lion's den known as the Shrieking Shack and
sat like a KING!
"
Sirius awkwardly nods behind him.
Sirius:
"Yeah, he was sitting on a conjured throne, eating grapes."
Raja:
"For even in the face of darkness, one must snack."
Reporter3: where are the evidences for Sirius being not guilty.
Raja:
[dramatic sigh]
"reporters, may I present to you... EXHIBIT A!"
Throws a handkerchief into the air—
It bursts into golden light, revealing
a floating magical portrait of Peter Pettigrew confessing under Veritaserum.
The portrait looks down and says in a whiny voice:
Portrait Peter:
"Yes, yes, I betrayed the Potters, framed Sirius, and then pretended to be a rat for twelve years. It was exhausting."
The
crowd goes ballistic.
Reporters scribble notes furiously.
Raja
gestured dramatically
to Sirius, who transformed into his
dog form
, whimpered
pathetically
, then transformed back into
his human self, looking like the very embodiment of suffering.
The
crowd gasped.
"Look at him!" Raja cried,
wiping away a tear that didn't exist.
"An innocent man, locked away for TWELVE YEARS, with nothing but
dementors and regret for company!
"
The reporters
erupted into murmurs of sympathy.
Sirius, caught off guard,
blinked at Raja.
"Wait—"
Raja
spun to face him, placing a comforting hand on his shoulder.
"Sirius," he said solemnly, "do you hate them? Do you
wish for vengeance?
"
Sirius hesitated. His
rage
had been the only thing keeping him alive in Azkaban.
But then he saw
Harry, watching from the crowd.
And suddenly, the
answer changed.
"No," he said finally, his voice raw. "I just want to live."
The crowd
erupted in applause.
Raja
nodded sagely.
"
And that, my dear people, is the power of compassion!
"
Rita Skeeter,
vibrating with excitement
, immediately asked, "But what of the noble families? Were they involved?"
Raja
sighed dramatically.
"We cannot say for certain, but many
feel deep regret
for what happened to Sirius.
So much regret, in fact, that they have each promised him 50,000 Galleons in compensation.
"
Somewhere,
entire noble families collectively choked on their breakfast.
And just like that,
the narrative was sealed.
With the
nobles publicly compensating Sirius
, the Ministry had
no choice
but to
officially clear his name.
Sirius and Harry had their long-awaited
emotional reunion,
Lupin also promised to
stay by Harry's side,
and for once, it felt like
things were looking up.
Then
came the End-of-Year Feast.
As expected,
Slytherin won the House Cup
again, much to Gryffindor's
endless suffering.
But this time, the
biggest honor went to Raja Again.
Dumbledore
stood
, smiling warmly.
"I am proud to announce a
special award
to a young man who once again has
shown exceptional wit, bravery, and an undeniable flair for dramatic theatrics.
"
Raja
came from the door once again this time he was raiding an unicorn in White and gold robes with divine light following from the sky with background music of Halo.
There was collective gasp's in the hall and pin drop silent.
The Youth Pastor of Merlin had arrived.
After taking the reward he was going to give a speech.
He
spread his arms wide
and
preached to the masses.
Ladies and gentlemen, boys and girls, witches and wizards of all ages!
I come before you today not as a mere student of Hogwarts, not as just another handsome, highly intelligent, magically gifted prodigy—though all of those things are, of course, true. No, today, I stand before you as a
humble
servant of the
HOLY ORDER OF MERLIN!
(Praise be! 🙌)
Brothers and sisters, have you ever looked at yourself in the mirror and thought,
Wow, I wish I was half as powerful as Merlin
? Have you ever stared at your wand and realized it just... doesn't wand the way Merlin's did? Well, worry not, my dear children, for salvation is at hand!
The Order of Merlin is recruiting!
Yes! For a
small
membership fee—
ahem, a modest, heartfelt donation
—you too can walk the righteous path of the First and Foremost Wizard of Legend! You'll receive:
✔️ The
illusion
of magical superiority!
✔️ A
Certificate of Awesomeness
signed by yours truly!
✔️ The spiritual right to wear long, dramatic robes and stroke your beard thoughtfully (fake beards available for first-years)!
✔️ And of course,
the eternal, unquestionable knowledge that you are simply better than everyone else
.
For only ONE Galleon a day
, you can
pretend
you, too, are destined for greatness!
Now, my dear
faithful
, before we pass around the holy donation hat, let us discuss the tragic case of one
Sirius Black.
A man misunderstood. A soul misjudged. A wizard in desperate need of... well, quite frankly, a
better lifestyle.
Sirius Black has been through
so much pain
, so much
suffering
, and worst of all—he's had
ZERO
personal spa days in
over 12 years!
Truly, brothers and sisters, this is an injustice.
For just a
tiny
donation—(minimum of 5 Galleons, no Sickles accepted, we have standards)—you can help our dear brother Sirius move from a
dingy, flea-infested cave
to a
five-star resort where he truly belongs.
💰
DONATE NOW!
💰Remember, giving is its own reward! (
And by "its own reward," I mean I'll be rewarding myself with the money.
)
Let us all bow our heads and chant together:
"Hallowed be thy beard, O Merlin the Magnificent!
Guide our wands, expand our vaults!
And grant us the wisdom... to donate generously to Raja's pockets!"
AMEN!
🙌🔥
(
Disclaimer: The Order of Merlin is not responsible for any financial loss, parental disappointment, or unforeseen expulsion from Hogwarts. All donations are non-refundable and 100% legally questionable.
)
"Brothers and sisters of magic, let us REJOICE! For today, we witness the
divine will of Merlin
restoring justice upon this sacred land!"
McGonagall
facepalmed.
Flitwick trying to stop is lol in stomach in pain.
Snape
actively glared at the ceiling, silently pleading for divine intervention.
Dumbledore,
sipping his tea, just let it happen.
And thus, another year at Hogwarts ended—
with chaos, justice, and the rise of Wizarding Britain's strangest hero.