SHAN
“Is Kalix going to be there?”
Hiro looked at me with furrowed brows, confused why I would ask if Kalix will go to his pre-Christmas party because he wouldn’t be here for Christmas.
He’s heading back to Florida.
Apparently, that’s somewhat of a send-off party for him, too.
This is already his umpteenth send-off party.
“I have something I need to return to him.” I explained myself.
I wouldn’t usually ask about the people he invited, so he was confused.
“Yes, I think he is going to be there.
I invited him and his friends.” Hiro replied.
“What is it that you need to return to him?” He asked inquisitively.
“It’s just a shirt that I borrowed.” With that, Hiro didn’t ask anymore.
I laughed by myself, thinking about Luna’s reaction once I told her that I already gave the shirt back.
She said not to return it to her, so I’ll just return it to the owner instead.
_______________________
I wore a simple shirt tucked inside my denim jeans for the rooftop bar party that Hiro organized.
I knew it was going to be cold, so I also decided to bring a denim jacket.
Hiro and I arrived earlier than the others to check if everything was ready.
“Hello.” Helen and Ericka kissed my cheek, followed by Hiro.
Lyle, Neil, and the others also arrived.
“This way to the table, ladies.” I guided them to the table Hiro and I were already occupied.
“Drink now, Ciandrei!” Erica said, trying to find where the bar was.
“We should start early so we could get drunk early.”
“Let’s take pictures first!” Helen said, having a different priority.
It was not a formal party and just a simple gathering with free food and drinks so the others also started drinking already upon eating.
There were so many people, so I couldn’t make it back to my table.
I was busy going from table to table because I knew a lot of people.
My wild days were already over, so this was the first time I’d seen them again in a long while.
I was holding a bottle of beer when I saw Kalix on the other table, looking bored.
He was with two other guys who were eating.
Kalix was already done eating, so he was just looking around with his arms crossed over his chest.
I decided to go to him and give him the paper bag with his shirt inside.
“What’s this?” He asked me, puzzled.
We weren’t that close before when Haze introduced us to each other.
He was friends with Hiro, so I already knew him.
I would also sometimes see him at parties.
“Your shirt.” I answered, which made him more confused
I watched as he peeked into the paper bag and took out his shirt.
He looked at the shirt, wondering where he had left it.
“How did you get this?” He asked me seriously.
“Luna let me borrow it.” I answered honestly.
His grip on the shirt tightened before looking away and placing it inside the paper bag again.
It looked like he was concluding a lot of things in his head.
“I see.
You’re together now.” He said in a monotone.
“Didn’t she kiss you before?” He raised his eyebrows when he looked at me.
I bit my lower lip and laughed.
I couldn’t help it.
“She did, yes.
I’m sorry, bro.
I didn’t know about your relationship…
but we’re not together.
I’m with her cousin.” I admitted.
He didn’t seem like the type to gossip.
“Kierra?” His brows furrowed.
I gave him a nod to confirm.
“Is she doing alright?
How is she?”
“You know her?”
I pulled up a chair and sat near him so we could talk properly.
“Of course.” He always had no emotion on his face, but this time, he looked like he was feeling a lot.
Anger, regret, pain.
“The two cannot be separated.” He said, talking about Luna and Kierra.
“I know…” I let out a short laugh, remembering how much Kierra talked about her cousin.
She would always include her in her narratives.
It was proof that they were together ninety-nine percent of the time.
“Kierra is…
doing well.”
“That’s good.” He pursed his lips and sighed.
“Take good care of her.”
I couldn’t help but smile because I remembered what Luna told me.
“You and Luna…
are the same.
You say the same things.
You react the same way.”
He gave me a small smile with a hint of pain.
“I don’t think so.
Luna is very different from me.
She’s…
loud and…
she’s overflowing with emotions.
She radiates good energy, even from afar.” His gaze was distant as he spoke.
I handed him a beer so we could drink together.
“Do you still love her?” I teased
He just let out a short laugh before getting the bottle out of my hand.
“We’re already over.” He said with finality before drinking through the bottle.
That did not really answer my question.
I had a drink with him for a while, but then I got up to go back to Hiro and the others.
We took some shots before I went to the edge of the rooftop to vape.
I leaned against the railings, feeling the breeze.
Around thirty minutes later, Kalix followed and also leaned against the railings to catch the air.
“Smoke?” I asked.
I always had a box of cigarettes with me, …just in case I might need them, even though I don’t smoke anymore.
“No, I already quit.” He replied, raising his hand.
As I put the box back inside my pocket, my mouth formed a small circle.
“Good for you.”
I was wondering why he came here.
It looked like he wanted to say something, but he was still contemplating whether he would open his mouth or not.
In the end, he just sighed.
“Do you know Miguel?” He asked me.
I stiffened.
I stopped smoking and turned to look at him.
He…
knew him, too.
I already formed conclusions inside my mind.
He probably asked because of Kierra.
“Yes…
He’s my classmate in law school.” It was almost a whisper.
“I don’t know much about what happened, but I already have an idea…”
“Law school, huh…” He scoffed sarcastically.
“That asshole had the guts to enter law school.”
I had the same thought.
Miguel…
was just not capable of feeling guilt.
Not capable of losing.
Not capable of feeling negative emotions.
He couldn’t handle them.
_________________________
“If you also have things to donate before you leave, place them inside the box.” I told Hiro while he was packing his things.
I heard from Kierra that Samantha was doing some charity work for Christmas.
She encouraged us to donate some clothes, toys, or books we weren’t using anymore.
“Kuya, what the fuck.” Hiro hissed when Haze put his leather handcuffs in the box.
“What?
I never used that.
It’s a toy.” Haze defended himself, getting the handcuffs again because of Hiro’s reaction.
“Isn’t that what the box is for?”
“Toys for kids!” Hiro yelled at him.
“Ah…
For kids.” Haze shrugged and then threw the handcuffs in my direction.
I smoothly caught it with one hand.
“It’s yours now.”
I kept on laughing while looking at it.
“Why do you even have these?” I lifted the leather handcuffs, coated with fur on the inside so it wouldn’t hurt the wrists.
“It was a gift from a friend.
I don’t use toys.” He scoffed and rolled his eyes.
“Do I look like I do?” I raised an eyebrow at him.
Why is he handing it to me?
Why not give it to his brother?
Hiro would love that.
“Honestly, yes.” He replied.
“And Hiro vows not to have sex again with anyone after Yanna.”
“Shut up.” Hiro hissed, glaring at his brother.
After gathering some more donations, I went to Kierra’s place to give her the boxes.
In the end, I had to drink with Luna because Kierra didn’t want to.
I eventually knew I would win with the drinks I bought.
I’ve got the hang of it.
“Hey, where did you take that shirt?” She looked so funny.
“I told you I’d give it back.
It really is with Kalix.”
She had asked that several times while Kierra was in the shower.
She just couldn’t accept it.
Luna got drunk easily, so Kierra and I had the chance to have some alone time.
Finally!
I even bought a projector so we could watch the movie like we were in a cinema.
______________________________
“Why do you always call me by my full name?
It sounds weird and tiring.”
“Shan, water.”
Fuck.
My heart just skipped a beat.
I stared at her in shock for a few seconds before looking away, trying to stop myself from smiling.
Everyone called me Shan.
It wasn’t a unique nickname, but it sounded so special coming from her.
“Do you want to come with us to Bataan?
We’re staying in that resort where we always go.
I’ll tell Mommy!”
For once, I considered celebrating Christmas with another family.
I didn’t want to celebrate it with Hiro or Acel’s family because I felt like it would just be bothersome for them to have me.
I wasn’t part of their family.
But when Kierra offered, I actually considered going…
because I wanted to meet her family.
I wanted to meet the family my mom was close with.
Maybe…
It would feel warmer.
__________________________
“Did you book your ticket?” Alfred asked me when I went to the mansion.
He asked for me.
I shook my head.
“I don’t want to celebrate Christmas with you and your family.”
He was asking me to book a ticket to Japan because Elyse wanted to celebrate with me.
“Mayor Villaflor called…” He started.
My attention was immediately directed to him with the mention of that surname.
“He mentioned something about you and his son…
not being on good terms in law school?”
“Why would I be friends with the son of that corrupt thief?” I raised a brow.
“The Mayor is a close friend of mine…” He said under his gritted teeth.
“I want to keep a good relationship with him.
He is going to run as a governor soon.
Establish good connections with his son.”
I scoffed and rolled my eyes.
“That spoiled…
immature man.” I whispered, talking about Miguel.
He really told his dad that I knew something about him.
They would probably keep a close eye on me now.
“What’s funny, Shan?” Alfred’s voice sounded mad.
I was already getting on his nerves.
“I don’t know.
It’s just that…
You just proved that birds of the same feather flock together.” The side of my lips rose.
“Abusers, thieves, plunderers, criminals…
in one group.
I’m sorry, but I will never side with those kinds of people.
Keep your ‘good relationship’ to yourself.
You are just friends with them because all of you have corrupted minds.”
“Ciandrei!” He yelled, getting up from his seat.
“I will do what I want with his son…
even if I have to take him down.” I hissed under my gritted teeth.
“This is the only thing I’m asking of you!
You really can’t do something right, for fuck’s sake!” He raised his voice and got the golf club at the side.
He pointed it at me.
“Maybe you don’t know how reality works.
You’re going to be a lawyer soon enough.
You will be forced to pick a side!
If you want to live and make money, side with the ones in power-”
“That’s what differs us!” I raised my voice, my hand forming a fist.
“I side with the people…
while you side with the power-hungry.
Villaflor…
His dad…
the son…
the uncles…
I don’t fucking care about your relationship with them!
You do not mean anything to me at all!”
I received a blow on the side of my face, followed by the sound of a broken vase.
He hit the vase with his golf club, trying to assert dominance…
trying to instill fear.
I flinched, but I didn’t step back.
“I am still your father!
I am paying for your fucking law school tuition!
You don’t have the right to raise your fucking voice at me!”
“You are obliged to support your child.
Don’t throw that shit against me!”
My lips parted, and looked over the door when I heard a knock.
“Dad?
Open the door!” It was Elyse.
“Open the door!
Now!”
I hurriedly went to the door and opened it.
“Just go to your room, Elyse.”
I didn’t her to get dragged into this.
My heart almost fell when she went inside to talk to her father.
“Why are you hurting him?!” Her voice echoed around the room.
“Elyse.” I grabbed her arm and tried to pull her.
I didn’t know how much patience Alfred had left with his daughter, but I wouldn’t risk Elyse getting hurt.
“Don’t hurt him!” She cried.
“Please, let’s just go…” I begged her.
I was about to tear up.
I was so nervous…
and scared for what could happen to her.
I took her to the balcony so no one could overhear us.
I stepped out for some air, trying to calm myself down, while Elyse wept beside me.
“Listen, Eli…” I sighed and held her hands.
“As long as he’s treating you right, you don’t have to worry..
but the moment he does something else that could hurt you or..
your mom, just tell me.
I’ll get you out of that fucking house.
Do you hear me?”
“What are you saying?”
“Just go along with it, okay?
If that happens before I can even get a job, don’t worry.
I’ll find a way to keep you away from that old man.”
_________________________
I didn’t know when I’ll finish law school…
I had no idea if I could even get a job in court, let alone pass the BAR exam…
but I will try my best.
I will use all means to get her out of his sight.
I had money from my mom and from the coffee shop.
I don’t know if this is enough to sustain Elyse’s needs, but I will try my best if ever I was faced with a situation where I should protect my sister from her dad.
“What the fuck happened to your face?” Hiro’s brows furrowed when he saw the bruise on the side of my face.
We were on our way to the airport.
He is leaving today.
Haze will follow later and return home after Christmas due to work.
“Old man.” I rolled my eyes.
He already knew what it meant.
When we arrived at the airport, I helped Hiro with his luggage and let everyone take their turns in saying their goodbyes.
After that, he gave me a hug.
“Message me when you need anything, or even if you don’t.” He whispered before letting go.
I waved until he was already inside the airport.
When I couldn’t see him anymore, I took my phone out and texted him.
To: Hiro
Take care.
I’ll see you soon.
We’ll miss you.
KIERRA
[I’ll miss you too.]
That was my reply to Luna after I told her that our flight to Jeju was today.
She joked that she would miss me as if I were going to be gone for a long time.
“Ke, boarding pass, okay?” Shan kept on asking me while we were getting ready to leave the condo.
We were already dressed and I also had my suitcase with me.
I was just wearing a hoodie and leggings, then a coat because it was cold there.
Shan was wearing the same thing, but he was wearing denim jeans.
“I already have a screenshot.” I told him.
“Wallet, phone, power bank, camera… Passport?
Do you have your passport?” He asked while also checking his backpack.
“Yes, it’s in my bag.” I ended up checking it too.
Between the two of us, I already knew that he was the responsible one when it came to traveling.
He was like a dad!
“Is your luggage locked?” He knelt down to check if the lock on my luggage was secure, then did the same with his.
He rotated the numbers on the lock again just to make sure it couldn’t be opened.
“You don’t have electronics inside your check-in luggage?
Just making sure.”
“No, everything is in my bag.” I also pointed at my carry-on luggage.
“Everything’s set!
He did his last check again on the things he needed to bring before we got to the car.
We just booked a Grab to the airport because it would be a hassle if we brought a car.
Mommy said they were already inside the airport, so when we entered, we just looked for them.
They were lined up at check-in.
Shan was pulling one of my suitcases.
After check-in, we proceeded to immigration.
The line was long because there were so many people traveling out of the country.
It was sem break for students and a holiday for others.
Some of my other relatives were still with us, but some stayed behind because they had somewhere else to go.
After immigration, we looked for something to eat first.
Shan was carrying my little cousin while lining up at the ordering area.
“Tita, your order…” Shan placed the tray on Mommy’s table, then did the same for Tita’s table before sitting at our table for two.
“And, of course, for my Ayi…” He handed me the sandwich.
I smiled at him.
“Thank you!”
After eating, Shan and I walked around inside the airport for a while and looked at the stores because it wasn’t boarding time yet.
He was pulling my small carry-on luggage as we walked.
“Do you want some snacks?
What do you want?” He asked, willing to buy them for me.
“I want chips!” I jumped up and down while we were facing each other, our two palms touching.
His lips formed a lazy smile before caressing my hair and nodding.
I bit my lower lip when he held my hand and softly pulled me with him to the convenience store.
From then on, he didn’t let go of my hand anymore.
I kept looking at it because he had intertwined our hands together.
He paid for the snacks he bought for me and let me take one before putting them in my bag.
I just took the chocolate and ate it while we walked toward the gate assigned for boarding.
“You want?” I offered him the chocolate and let him take a bite from it.
We just shared it while waiting for boarding.
When we got on the plane, he carried my luggage and put it in the cabin before sitting beside me.
He really got the seat beside me.
I fixed my seatbelt and looked outside.
I got the window seat.
I took some pictures from the window, and then a selfie with Shan.
I just put my phone away when the plane started ascending.
I watched through the window, amazed.
“Wow.” I whispered.
“Look, Shan!
It’s beautiful!” I pulled his sleeve.
“It is.” He said while looking at me before staring outside the window.
When the plane became stable, I immediately felt sleepy.
I leaned my head on Shan’s shoulder and hugged myself because I was cold.
Shan took my coat and tapped me to help me put it on.
I woke up because of it and frowned while he put it on me.
He adjusted the air-conditioning that was pointed at me and closed it.
He put his arm around me before leaning my head on his shoulder using his other hand.
He softly tapped my shoulders while I closed my eyes, falling asleep.
I woke up in the middle of the flight, but I couldn’t move my head because Shan was also leaning on me, sleeping.
I slowly moved away, so he woke up.
“Sleep.” I told him.
He adjusted his sitting position so he could lean his head on my shoulder.
I just took my snack that I had placed in front of the seat to eat while looking out the window.
After I ate, I also leaned my head on Shan and went to sleep.
I only woke up when the plane was already about to land.
“It’s going to be cold outside.” Shan told me while putting the beanie on my head.
“So, you should wear this already.”
He was right, and it was cold when we got out of the airport.
There was already a van waiting for us to take us to the villa we had booked.
The owner arranged it for us.
We didn’t stay at a hotel anymore and just booked villas next to each other.
We were also near the beach.
We rented the van and the driver for the trip.
My uncle knew how to speak Korean, so he was the one who handled everything.
Our family had our own villa.
Mommy and Daddy were still together in the big room.
Since there were only two rooms, Shan and I were together in one.
It had twin beds, though, so we weren’t beside each other.
I was freezing cold, so I immediately ran into the room because there was a heater there.
I lay down on the floor because the floor also had a heater.
Shan was even surprised when he found me there.
He was carrying our luggage.
“Get up, Ke.” He held both of my hands to help me stand.
That night, we had dinner outside the villa.
There was a grill there, so the family had samgyupsal.
They had all the ingredients, even the side dishes.
My uncles were busy grilling, including Shan.
I was just sitting on the side, hugging myself and keeping my knees together because I was cold.
I already had several layers of clothes on.
I had heat tech underneath, then a sweater, then a jacket, then a thick coat.
Shan came over to me and fed me the meat that was on his chopsticks.
He put his hand underneath my mouth in case it fell.
“Good?” He asked.
I nodded at him.
He must have noticed that I was cold, so he went inside the villa for a while.
When he came out, he was already carrying some things.
He knelt on one knee in front of me and put the scarf around my neck before tying it properly.
Then, he put the beanie back on my head, and the gloves on my hands.
“What a baby.” He said as he wiped my runny nose with a tissue.
It was because of the cold.
“Just wait here.
I’ll get you food.”
There was a small wooden table in front of me, and Shan put the food he got there before sitting beside me.
Both of my hands were inside my coat.
Shan got some lettuce, put meat and sauce on it, then fed it to me.
He even wiped the sauce that dripped onto my chin with his finger.
He wasn’t even wearing gloves.
Wasn’t he cold?!
He fed me again while also chewing and his mouth was full.
“Child, you’re making Shan work hard.” Daddy joked when he saw us.
“It’s cold, Daddy!” I complained to him.
They laughed with Tito.
“Fine… I’ll do it.” I pouted and took off my gloves.
“No, no.
Let me do it.” Shan put the gloves back on me and just let me hold a spoon for the rice, if I wanted to eat that, or the soup.
I sipped the soup to lessen the cold in my body.
__________________________
The next day, we woke up early to go to the tourist spots.
We went to a museum, then ate, then bought things we could use to celebrate on New Year’s Eve.
We celebrated New Year’s Eve inside the villa.
I was wearing a white hooded jacket, and so was Shan.
We were wearing party hats, and there were also food and preparations.
When it was time for the countdown, we went outside to the front yard of the villa to watch the fireworks and light sparklers.
My mom was holding the camera, taking photos.
Shan and I tried to form a sentence using the stick while we were facing each other.
He laughed and moved away from me, holding his stick up.
We played with it until we heard the fireworks from afar.
We looked up and watched.
“Happy New Year!” We shouted after the countdown.
My young cousins were still wide awake and running around there.
The front yard was big.
Daddy made a bonfire.
They sat around it, surrounding it and warming their hands.
I asked Mommy for permission for Shan and me to walk around.
I was hopping with joy while holding his hand and walking.
It was uphill.
There were no cars.
Everyone was busy celebrating New Year.
We even passed by a field of flowers.
He picked a flower sticking out from the fence and gave it to me.
“Thank you!” I put it back on my ear while walking.
“This is so fun, right?” I asked him when we sat on a wooden bench, resting.
“Are you enjoying it a lot?” He softly said while putting some of my hair behind my ear so he could see me.
“Yes.” I turned to him and smiled.
“I’m happy.”
He stared at me before looking away, startled by the sound of the fireworks.
There were fireworks again!
I stood up and looked up, watching the fireworks in the distance.
Shan also looked up, now standing beside me.
The colors of the fireworks reflected on his face.
When he noticed that I was looking at him, he looked back at me and smiled.
“Happy New Year.” I greeted him.
He faced me and held my cheek.
“Happy New Year, Ayi.” He greeted me back.
My cheek grew warm at the name he called me.
His face was also inches away from mine.
I could almost hear my heart beating.
“I’m happy to be with you.
Thank you.” I told him.
I couldn’t thank him enough for the things he did for me.
He stared at me for a long time before leaning in to give me a soft kiss.
I closed my eyes and held the hand he was using to hold my face.
It was short and gentle.
It was almost like a feather touched my lips.
“I keep on falling over and over again.” He whispered.