Mom guided me to one of the chairs in the clinic’s waiting room. She sat next to me as we waited. The place was empty, save for the receptionist, likely because of how early it was.
The lady finished whatever she was doing and looked at her screen, then at us. “Uh… Michael Lindgren?”
I winced at the mention of the name. Mom gave me a sympathetic smile and stood up. I followed suit.
The receptionist glanced at me as she guided us to the door and opened it, revealing the doctor, sitting by her desk.
She lifted her head and smiled at my Mom. “Linda! How have you been?”
“It’s been a busy week,” Mom responded, then looked at me. The doctor followed her line of sight. “Very busy. How about you, Stella?”
“As you say, busy week,” Stella responded. “And this is your… son?”
“My daughter,” Mom corrected in my stead. “Vera.”
The doctor was stunned for a moment. She looked at me, then at my mom, and she smiled. “I see…” She nodded and stood up, extending her hand at me. “Nice to meet you, Vera. I’m Stella Monroe.”
“Uh, nice to meet you too,” I replied, returning the brief handshake.
“Before we begin, I’d like to understand the situation a bit more, Linda,” Dr. Monroe said. “You were very cryptic over the phone.” She glanced at me again. “Waaay too cryptic.”
“The situation at home is… complicated,” Mom replied.
“Knowing your husband, yeah, I can’t imagine he took the news very well.”
Mom cleared her throat in response.
The doctor raised an eyebrow at her. “Right. I see. We can talk about that another day over some coffee, if you want. For now, I take it you'd prefer that I do a checkup on her?”
Mom nodded. “That and I’d appreciate it if you could give us something that can help us explain Vera’s situation at school.”
“You know that I’m open to help in whatever way I can, Linda, but this might be outside my field. I can offer a medical consultation and perhaps a supporting letter that confirms the progress of her treatment. However, I don’t have much experience with transgender patients, and I don’t know what documentation they’re asking for at school. I do know someone who is more specialised in this matter, though. I can give you his contact information if you want.”
“Vera’s situation is… special,” Mom explained. “So much that I’m afraid that you might get me in contact with a therapist instead.”
“Oh, I assumed that she was seeing someone already,” the doctor countered.
Mom stayed silent, we both did.
Dr. Monroe paused to stare at us. “No?”
I shook my head.
“Nothing wrong with it, I guess. Just the endocrinologist, then?”
I pursed my lips in response.
The doctor sighed and went to her desk. “Please, take a seat. Let’s start from the beginning.” Once we did, she looked at me and asked, “This is a health related matter, so I need you to be honest with me. Have you been on hormone replacement therapy without any proper guidance?”
“She’s not on any medications,” Mom replied, her knee bouncing slightly.
Dr. Monroe paused. “My bad,” she said, smiling at herself. “I remember you mentioned that you were worried about her appearance in the past. I just didn’t think— Anyway, I’m starting to understand the situation.”
“No…” Mom shook her head slowly. “This is different…”
“How?”
“Perhaps it would be easier if we showed you,” Mom said. “Sweetie, could you please take off your hoodie?”
I nodded. My view was briefly obscured by the dark clothing, only to reveal the doctor’s wide-eyed stare.
“When did it start?”
Mom gritted her teeth. Her leg bounced faster. I understood Mom’s reservations. I was in that same position a few days ago. Perhaps, this was worse. Mom saw me every day. She had a clear reference to what I looked like last week.
Seeing the lack of response, the doctor turned to me once more. “Vera?”
In contrast, this was my first time seeing Dr. Monroe despite her being Mom’s friend. She had no reason to believe that, prior to this week, my chest had been completely flat.
Bite the bullet.
“Four days ago,” I finally said.
“Breasts don’t grow like that in four days, Vera,” she countered.
I shrugged. “It’s true, though.”
The doctor sighed. “Linda?”
Mom’s focus was somewhere near her shoes. She took a breath and looked up. “I know how crazy this sounds. You are probably thinking that I wasn’t paying attention to my own child, or that this is just an excuse I came up with because I didn’t bring her sooner…”
Dr. Monroe didn’t correct her. “I’m simply trying to understand what’s going on. I’m having a hard time believing this. Medically speaking, this shouldn’t be possible.”
“I’m telling the truth, Stella!” Mom snapped, her eyes glistening.
She crossed her arms and looked at Mom; really looked at her. Her expression softened. She placed a hand on Mom’s shoulder and said, “I trust you, Linda. I still don’t really know what to make of this, but I know you’re not the kind of woman who would joke about something like this.”
“Thanks,” Mom sniffled and gave her a weak smile. “I think I just needed to hear that.”
“Whatever is happening, we’ll get to the bottom of this. Wasn’t that your reason for bringing Vera here?”
Mom nodded. “Yeah.”
Dr. Monroe gave her a reassuring smile. “Why don’t you step out for a moment? I can tell that this situation is taking a toll on you. Take a break and breathe. Meanwhile, I’d like to discuss a few things with Vera before we proceed with the examination. Would that be alright?” This chapter is updated first at g.com.
I looked at Mom, and she returned my stare.
“Yeah,” I finally said. “Let’s do that.”
Mom nodded and walked to the door. She stopped to glance at me one more time, and I smiled for her. After returning the gesture, she opened the door and stepped out.
When the door closed, Dr. Monroe looked back at me and smiled.
“Now, I’m going to ask you a few questions, and I want you to be completely honest with me, okay?”
I nodded.
“The first thing I want to ask is… How do you feel about these changes? Are you comfortable with what’s happening to you?”
“I do,” I replied without hesitation. “Why?”
“Sometimes, parents have expectations about who their children should be, and I need to know that you're not feeling pressured to take on a role you don’t want in order to match the changes your body is going through.”
A laugh escaped from my lips. Somehow, she had just hit the nail and missed it entirely. I couldn’t imagine my dad ever accepting this change, but I could sort of see him pushing his idea of how a girl needed to be onto me.
“Sorry.”
She said nothing, nor did she look offended. If anything, she seemed curious.
I continued. “I get what you’re saying. When this started, I was scared. I didn’t know what was happening to me or why. I even tried to hide it as best as I could. However, I quickly came to the conclusion that I do like being a girl. I like the changes my body is going through. In fact, when I was given a chance to stop these changes… I decided against it.”
“You were given a chance,” the doctor echoed, causing me to flinch. “Were you offered puberty blockers?”
I bit my lip, not knowing what to say without exposing the magic. “It’s complicated... It’s very hard to believe.”
“So you keep saying,” she said. “Both of you.”
“I think my mom just wants to see what you think by the end of my examination before saying it. I think I agree with her.”
“I do hope that’s the case.” Dr. Monroe sighed. “I can’t really offer my help if I don’t get the full picture. The next thing I wanted to ask you is what changes you have observed so far. Breast development is obvious, but that is a known phenomenon. We call it gynecomastia.”
“I know. My gym teacher had it,” I commented. “He thought I had it too.”
“Any chance he could be right?” she asked.
“There’s more than just that, though.”
She motioned for me to continue.
“My hips have grown a bit, my skin is softer, my facial hair stopped growing, and my voice became more feminine. My hands and feet feel smaller, and I could swear I feel smaller, too…” I paused. “I uh, I don’t really look down there, so I don’t know what’s going on, but I still have a… you know.”
“A penis,” she completed. “There’s nothing wrong in saying it.”
“R-right.”
“I’m getting mixed feelings about what you just described,” she continued. “Many of the changes you listed are known side effects of feminizing hormone replacement therapy, which, just to confirm, you are not going through, correct?”
“Correct.”
“Next, have you ever been diagnosed with a hormonal condition?”
“Not really.”
“Any surgeries?”
I shook my head.
“Do you take any medications?”
“Also no.”
“Allergies?”
“Not that I know of.”
“Any family members that may have gone through something similar?”
“I don’t know… I… I don’t think so.”
“When was your last routine examination?”
I paused. “My… routine?”
She frowned. “You know, the last time your parents took you to the doctor for a checkup.”
“Uhhh…”
Dr. Monroe deflated and brought a hand to her forehead. “Oh my god, Linda…”
“Is something wrong?”
“Yes. At the age of fifteen, you should’ve gone through several routine checkups. Just because a child feels fine doesn’t mean that there’s nothing going on.” Read this novel at NovelPing for the best experience.
“Oh…”
Thinking about it, it made sense. I could only wonder why my parents never considered it. Then again, even the few times when I got hurt or sick, they always chose to deal with it themselves. I never really questioned it. Never felt the need to.
“I’m almost afraid to ask, but did you at least get all of your vaccines?”
“Yeah, those I did.”
“Including booster shots?”
She groaned at my silence and wrote it down. “There’s one last set of questions I want to ask before we move on to the actual examination. They concern your unique situation.”
“Yeah, I’m ready.”
“When the changes began, did you experience any odd symptoms?”
Yeah, a bunch of chills and warmth.
Not that I could tell her that. Not yet, at least. I didn’t even know how much Mom was planning to share.
I shook my head.
“Dizziness, mental fog, headaches, abdominal discomfort, breast tenderness, anything rings a bell?”
“Yeah, my boobs hurt all the time. Especially when they make contact with something.”
“Nothing else?”
“I guess I’ve been hungrier than usual this week, but I haven’t felt sick, or anything.”
She took note of that.
“Libido?”
Heat rose to my face instantly. “Uh, I… I-I mean.” I pictured the thought I had in the bathroom earlier. About myself, and about Ryan. “G-good, I think. Better now, at least.”
She smiled but made no comment on it as she wrote. When she was done, she stood up and walked to the door.
“I’m inviting your mom back in, now. Okay?”
I nodded.
Mom came in shortly after the doctor called for her.
“Linda, there are a few things I’d like to address alone with you after we’re done, but for now, I think I have a better picture of Vera’s medical history. With that said, I wanted to know if you’re both okay with me performing a general checkup as well as an ultrasound session to get a better idea of what we’re dealing with. We’ll make further decisions based on what we find.”
Mom and I looked at each other and nodded.
“Yes, please do,” Mom said.
“Very well. Vera, please follow me.” Dr. Monroe guided me to a stadiometer first. “Take off your shoes and stand up straight. Stay still until the machine beeps.”
I did as she instructed and felt a light tap on the top of my head before I heard the noise.
“Okay, you are 158 centimetres tall,” she pointed out.
I was stunned by the number.
She noticed. “You mentioned feeling smaller earlier. Does the number sound wrong to you?”
“Yeah,” I replied with a nod, “I used to be 165.”
Mom frowned at it. “Who told you that?”
“Dad.”
“Vera, I’m 165,” Mom declared, rubbing at her temple.
And I was shorter than her.
“Oh.”
Why would Dad lie about my height?
“Do you have any previous measurements that we could use as reference, Linda?”
Mom shook her head slowly. “That said, I don’t think Vera’s height has changed at all.”
“Right.” The doctor looked at me with a neutral expression. “Next would be your weight,” she said, guiding me to a scale.
I stepped on it and watched the numbers rise until they stopped and flashed at 53.5 kg.
She continued checks like listening to my heart and lungs before measuring pulse and blood pressure. Based on her comments for each, nothing seemed to be out of place.
“Next would be breast and abdominal examinations. I’ll need you to uncover each as we go, and I’ll be using my hands to check for any discrepancies. That said, since this process is a bit more intimate, I just want to confirm if both of you are okay to proceed. There’s nothing wrong if you don’t feel comfortable with me doing it.”
I looked at Mom to get her opinion. She merely smiled at me. My gaze lowered at my chest. Maybe it was the fact that I hadn’t had them for long, but I didn’t feel particularly bothered by the prospect of a doctor, of all people, to check on them.
She had given me no reason to feel uncomfortable with her, and I appreciated that she asked.
“Yeah, we’re okay with it.”