Naruto jogged up the stairs of the Hokage Tower, wind tossing his blond hair as the village bustled behind him, oblivious to the weight hanging above its hero’s head.
He rubbed at his tired eyes—Hinata’s bento box had kept him from starving, but no amount of miso rice and sweet egg could brace him for the kind of summons Kakashi-sensei had sent.
He reached the top landing where Izumo and Kotetsu stood on either side of the doors, like always.
But they weren’t their usual lazy, half-smirking selves.
They didn’t throw a teasing jab or a sarcastic comment about his latest stunt.
Instead, both of them were solemn.
Too solemn.
Naruto slowed, furrowed his brows.
“Yo,” he said, trying to sound casual.
“You guys look like someone kicked your cat.”
Neither laughed.
“What’s wrong?”
Izumo shifted, uncomfortable.
Kotetsu looked down at the floor.
“Nothing,” Izumo muttered.
“All the best, hero.”
Hero.
That word stung when they said it like that.
Like it didn’t mean what it used to.
Like it couldn’t fix what was coming.
Naruto frowned.
“Alright…”
He stepped past them and pushed open the doors.
The Hokage’s office was quieter than usual, and that was saying something.
The walls, decorated with mission maps and old scrolls, felt tighter, closer.
Like the air was holding its breath.
Kakashi sat behind his desk in the center, Hokage robes pristine, face unreadable.
Beside him, sitting with one long leg crossed over the other, was Lady Tsunade—arms folded, scowl carved into her face like stone.
On the couch behind her sat Sakura, posture straight but hands clenched tightly in her lap.
Shikamaru stood near the corner, his face drawn, eyes sharp and shadowed.
Shizune lingered behind Kakashi’s chair, face pale.
It felt like a war council.
Naruto stepped inside slowly.
“Yo,” he greeted.
“Why’s everyone here?”
Then he caught the look on Sakura’s face.
The tension in Tsunade’s shoulders.
The way Shikamaru wouldn’t meet his eyes.
He stiffened.
“Is it Ame? Did they reject the aid offer again? Another civil war brewing?”
Kakashi shook his head.
“It’s nothing like that.”
Naruto’s voice hardened.
“Then what?”
Kakashi’s single visible eye met his.
Calm, steady, tired.
“It’s about Sasuke.”
The words hit like a punch to the gut.
Naruto’s jaw clenched.
He didn’t need the rest.
“They want her execution, huh?”
No one answered.
They didn’t need to.
Naruto’s voice rose, angrier now, paced with frustration.
“She helped stop Madara! She fought Kaguya with us! Yeah, she was a damn asshole, and yeah, she screwed up—a lot—but without her, none of us would be standing here right now!”
Kakashi didn’t flinch.
“I know.”
“I was in a virtual summit early this morning,” he continued.
“The Shinobi Union—Raikage, Tsuchikage, Mizukage, and even some of the Daimyō—have voted. They’ve declared her an international criminal and ruled for her immediate execution.”
Naruto’s hands curled into fists at his sides.
Those ungrateful bastards.
Rage sparked behind his eyes.
Not because they were wrong to fear Sasuke, but because they were cowards who wanted a clean, easy end to something they didn’t understand.
Killing her wouldn’t bring peace.
It’d just bury another mistake.
But Naruto knew he couldn’t declare war.
Not for this.
Not again.
“I read something in a book,” he said suddenly, desperation giving way to inspiration.
“We can fake it. Say she’s dead—executed or something—but we actually just keep her hidden. Safe. Somewhere remote. No one has to know.”
Tsunade scoffed.
“That’s stupid, brat.”
Naruto’s head snapped toward her.
“What? Why?!”
“Because secrets don’t stay buried forever. And the second one person slips, she’ll be hunted like a stray dog. Do you want her looking over her shoulder every day of her life?”
Naruto growled low in his throat, slamming his real hand on Kakashi’s desk.
“Then what?! We can’t just let her die!”
Kakashi closed his book, voice measured.
“I have a solution.”
Naruto stared.
“…I’m listening.”
“You’re not going to like it,” Kakashi added.
“And Sasuke might hate it more than anyone.”
Naruto took a breath.
“Will it save her life?”
“Yes.”
“Will she be free?”
“Yes.”
“Will she be hunted? Or used by someone else?”
“Not if we do this right.”
Naruto nodded, jaw set.
“Alright, let’s do it.”
Sakura blinked.
“Wait—don’t you want to hear what the plan actually is?”
Naruto shrugged, eyes blazing with conviction.
“Oh, obviously, y’know. I just figured I’d say yes first.”
Tsunade groaned.
Kakashi leaned back in his chair, fingertips pressed together.
“You have to marry her.”
“…”
“…”
“…”
“…”
“…”
“…”
Naruto froze.
Everything stopped.
The air.
The chakra.
Even Kurama in his gut went dead silent.
“I’m sorry?” he said, blinking.
Kakashi repeated, completely straight-faced.
“You have to marry Sasuke.”
“…”
“…”
“…”
“…”
Naruto stared like he’d just been told to arm-wrestle a mountain.
Shikamaru muttered, “Man, this is such a drag.”
“Wait—what the hell kind of plan is that?!”
“It’s political,” Kakashi said, calmly laying out the impossible.
“If Sasuke becomes your spouse, she legally becomes a citizen under your protection. Not as a shinobi—she’ll be stripped of her rank and status—but as the wife of the Hero of the War. No nation, not even Kumo, will challenge that. Not openly. And with you being the future Hokage…”
“It’ll be a diplomatic nightmare if anyone tries to touch her,” Shikamaru finished.
Naruto stared at the ceiling, trying to figure out how the hell his life had gotten here.
He’d expected paperwork.
Maybe a mission.
Not marriage.
“And what about what Sasuke wants?” he asked.
“She’ll hate it,” Sakura admitted.
“She’ll probably try to kill you.”
“Wouldn’t be the first time,” Naruto muttered.
“But she’ll be alive,” Tsunade said softly.
Naruto rubbed his face.
His hand dragged through his hair.
“…Are we talking like… actual marriage, or… paper marriage?”
“That’s up to the two of you,” Kakashi said.
“All I need is the signature and the ceremony. The rest is your problem.”
Naruto sat down hard in the chair across from Kakashi’s desk.
He had faced Madara, Obito and Kaguya.
Monsters.
The death of his mentors.
He had held Sasuke’s bleeding body in his arms at the Valley of the End.
He had walked through hell for this world.
And now, apparently, he had to get married to save it.
“…Do I at least get a tux?”