Every account of the Allmother begins the same way. Not with the gods or the power she took from them. With a young girl.
The harvest had failed. The god needed someone to blame and she was there.
Her name was not recorded. In the three thousand years since, no one has found it. What was recorded was only what her mother did afterward, and what it cost, and what it changed.
The daughter herself left nothing behind. Only the hole her absence made in one woman, and what crawled out of that hole.
— Chronicle of the First Age. Ledger Archives, Marialis branch. Transcriber unknown.
“I feel like too many things I don’t understand are happening here… and somehow we’re right in the middle of them,” Darian whispered to Vaelra, who was hiding beside him.
Vaelra didn’t answer. She only let out a deep sigh.
The gray flash of light they had seen moments earlier had unsettled all of them, but for now their biggest concern was moving through the dark streets without running into patrols. None of them were in any position to think about what the light might have been.
“Watch the street in front of you, not the sky,” Veylith whispered from behind them—though her voice was loud enough for everyone to hear.
They were moving through the dark streets with some distance between each other. Ravah led the way, carefully scanning the surroundings. Darian, Tivver, and Vaelra followed about ten steps behind her. Veylith, as always, stayed at the rear, watching both their backs and the group ahead of her at the same time. Ravah had noticed that the number of patrols seemed to be decreasing. But instead of believing they were dispersing, she suspected they had simply been repositioned—to the exits, and possibly to the harbor.
“Are you sure the lady will come here?” Tivver asked, shivering noticeably from the cold.
“I’m not sure,” Vaelra replied, her eyes searching the dim corners of the street. “Before going to sleep she mentioned living in the old Varn district. I’ve heard many women who work nights stay in the boarding houses there. And it’s not that large an area. Besides, we don’t have anything else to track.”
“I hope you’re right,” Darian said calmly. He felt no regret about following her. He knew Vaelra was probably right—but even if she wasn’t, he would still follow her anyway. Still, a growing feeling told him that all of this might turn into a disaster they wouldn’t be able to escape.
Tivver, still shivering, broke the silence. “Doesn’t this night feel like it’s lasted three days?”
At that moment, a thin whistle sounded behind them.
All of them—including Ravah—instantly went on alert. When they turned, they saw Veylith signaling for them to hide. She was pointing toward a pile of garbage beside the road. Vaelra and the others moved quickly toward it, while Veylith rushed toward them with swift, silent steps. But Ravah had gone too far ahead. And a squad of wardens was already turning the corner behind her. There was no time to reach the others.
She spotted a narrow balcony on the building beside her and stepped onto the window ledge, pulling herself up onto it. The balcony railing barely reached the height of an elbow and seemed meant only for looking outside or hanging laundry. Ravah managed to lie sideways on it, squeezing her broad frame into the narrow space.
Meanwhile, Veylith saw a familiar face leading the wardens approaching the garbage pile. She would never forget that man. He had almost caught them in the tunnels. Hidden behind the garbage heap and shielding the others with her body, she waited tensely for them to pass. Behind her, Vaelra noticed that one of Veylith’s hands had already wrapped around the grip of a pistol at her belt.
“Did you locate the girl’s home?” Rhoren asked the man walking beside him.
“Yes, Captain,” the man replied. “The man I set on her trail followed her to the building she entered. Looks like she rents a room in the old Varn district.”
Rhoren thought for a moment after hearing this, then a satisfied expression crossed his face. “Huh. Maybe with this stone we’ve also found the other bird’s nest.”
“They found her before we did,” Tivver whispered.
“If they had, they wouldn’t be this calm and posting guards outside,” Vaelra murmured thoughtfully. “There’s something else going on here.”
“Shhh,” Veylith warned them.
The men were passing right beside them. The captain slowed slightly as he glanced toward their hiding place—but he didn’t stop. “Do we have any other men in the district?” Rhoren asked, quickening his pace. His urgency was obvious.
“We already had two men posted there,” the soldier replied. “I told them to keep the building under watch along with the man who followed her.”
“Good.” Rhoren walked with a new confidence in his stride. This time you won’t escape, he thought. If you fall into one of my nets…
As they moved farther down the street, their voices grew faint and harder for Veylith and the others to understand.
“Will the Ledger agent who was with us earlier be joining us?” one of the soldiers asked loudly enough for the others to hear. As they approached the end of the street, Ravah began hearing their voices again.
“I don’t care what Tarr’en does,” Rhoren replied. “He’ll probably join us eventually. But your job is to follow my orders, officer.” He spoke loudly, as if wanting the others to hear.
Then he continued in a quieter tone. “And honestly, it’s better if that madman obsessed with seals stays away.” They were passing directly beneath Ravah’s balcony.
“I don’t understand, Captain.”
“I've heard him spout gibberish before, often alongside the other half of the seal, but I don't understand it either, Sergeant.”
“Yes, sir.” The man passed the order along to the soldiers behind them.
When they turned the corner at the end of the street and their voices finally faded, Ravah took a deep breath while still lying on the balcony. She thought about what she had just heard.
“Ravah.” She heard Veylith calling to her in a whisper. When Ravah leaned over the balcony edge, she saw the others waiting below.
“Come on,” Veylith added. “We can’t lose them.”
With a quick athletic movement, Ravah gripped the edge of the balcony, lowered herself, and dropped beside her. Looking toward the corner the wardens had just turned, she said quietly, “This is going to get ugly.”
Veylith stared in the same direction. “When has it ever been easy?” she replied.
◈ ◈ ◈
Mayra stepped into the large wooden boarding house beneath the dim light of the slowly brightening dawn. She was used to returning home at this hour, but tonight’s exhaustion weighed on her far more heavily than usual. Every time she remembered the panic of everyone collapsing and seeing visions, the fear returned.
As she climbed the creaking stairs to her room on the upper floor, two things occupied her mind. She wanted to heat some water and take a hot bath. And she wanted to find Kaelin.
She had been thinking about her ever since their brief conversation outside the door earlier that night. Normally Kaelin wouldn’t cut a conversation short and leave so quickly. As she unlocked the door to her room, Mayra decided that after washing she would go to Kaelin’s building and check on her. Maybe this time she would finally find the courage to tell her how she felt.
She stepped inside and closed the door behind her, securing the sliding bolt. She tossed her bag onto the couch and had just taken off her jacket when a hand emerged from the shadows and clamped over her mouth.
Another arm wrapped around her waist. Before she could even understand what was happening, her movements were completely restrained.
Panic froze her in place. Then she heard a voice whisper in her ear.
“I told you to lock your window.”
After that sentence, Mayra immediately realized whose delicate hand was covering her mouth and whose familiar voice had whispered in her ear.
When she wrapped both of her hands around the arm holding her by the waist, the grip loosened and released her. She turned around where she stood—and found herself face to face with Kaelin. The familiar look in Kaelin’s eyes brought a sudden wave of relief. It even turned into happiness.
Kaelin had just removed her hand from Mayra’s mouth when Mayra burst out joyfully.
“Kaelin—!”
Her mouth was instantly covered again.
“Keep your voice down. I already have enough trouble on my head,” Kaelin whispered tensely as she silenced her. Then she leaned closer.
“Have you calmed down?”
Mayra nodded quickly.
Kaelin slowly removed her hand and stepped back slightly, suddenly realizing how close they had been standing.
“After we talked I looked for you inside the Lantern, but I couldn’t find you. Where did you disappear to?” Mayra asked quietly, though she wasn’t sure why she was whispering. Then she looked away shyly. “I was worried.”
Kaelin’s expression softened at Mayra’s innocent words. She sighed, looking as if she wanted to say something—but nothing came out. She didn’t know where to begin, or how much she should tell her.
Watching her thoughtful silence, Mayra felt concern rising. For a moment she almost believed Kaelin was frightened—a look she had never seen on her before.
“Oh—sorry,” Mayra suddenly said, breaking her own thoughts. “We’re still standing by the door. Let me make some tea. You should sit down.” She gently took Kaelin by the arm and guided her toward the couch before turning to the small kitchen counter to light the stove and heat water.
When Kaelin slowly sank onto the couch, she realized Mayra wasn’t pressing her with questions. She should tell her. At least someone… someone she cared about… should know what had happened.
Sitting on the long, neatly arranged couch, she nervously played with her fingers while looking around the room, remembering the time she had spent here over the past few months. She rarely invited Mayra to her own place. Instead she would usually climb up to Mayra’s window and annoy her.
Mayra didn’t drink much. Usually it was Kaelin who ended up drunk, vomiting into a bucket while Mayra held her hair. Remembering those ridiculous moments made Kaelin smile faintly, and a warmth spread through her chest. This place was far more orderly than her own home—cleaner, and usually filled with pleasant scents. Compared to the room she had lived in for more than two years, the one she had been spending time in for the past few months made her feel far more alive. But maybe it had nothing to do with clean sheets or flowers in a vase.
Mayra was approaching with two cups of tea.
What mattered was the person she spent time with.
“Here you go,” Mayra said, placing the steaming cup on the small table between them before sitting beside Kaelin with her own.
She didn’t say anything. She knew Kaelin would speak when she was ready.
“I’m sorry,” Kaelin said suddenly, staring at the cup on the table.
Mayra didn’t fully understand what she meant, but she didn’t interrupt. She continued waiting.
“I told you I didn’t see anything,” Kaelin continued quietly. “But that was a lie.” She still wasn’t looking at her.
“I saw the city burning. People are dying. I was standing in the smoke.” She sighed.
“But that vision wasn’t what scared me. What terrified me was that I was the one who caused it. Making hundreds of people feel that fear…”
Mayra listened in surprise. Seeing strange visions wasn’t unusual—everyone had experienced something. Everyone except her. But causing it? She had no idea how that could even be possible.
“You know the power I use to calm my clients,” Kaelin continued. “It wasn’t supposed to be anything different from that.”
Mayra knew about that ability. Kaelin had used it on her many times, helping her escape from nightmares. In fact, when Mayra realized she always felt safe around her, she had once wondered if Kaelin was using her power without meaning to. She had never been sure whether it was magic—or simply Kaelin herself.
“Then suddenly everything slipped out of my control,” Kaelin said, her voice beginning to crack. “The man’s chest started burning, and before I even understood what was happening… he died right in front of me.” She swallowed hard. She had told Vaelra about it earlier, but this time she felt even more guilty—and she didn’t know why.
“Now they’re hunting me,” she continued. “And I still have no idea what happened. I don’t know where to go. I don’t know what to do. And by coming here I’ve dragged you into—” She stopped.
Mayra slowly wrapped her arms around her and rested her head against Kaelin’s chest, gently silencing her. Kaelin closed her eyes. It felt as though a heavy weight had been lifted from her shoulders. Yet she still believed coming here had been selfish.
“I shouldn’t be here. If they find me—”
“Shhh,” Mayra whispered, still stroking her hair.
“Relax. You’re safe here.”
Kaelin finally allowed her tense body to relax. She didn’t understand how someone so young could feel so much more mature than she did.
They sat like that for a while.
The tea cups had long stopped steaming.
Kaelin knew she had to leave. She couldn’t risk Mayra’s life any longer. But the thought that she might never see her again created a painful knot in her stomach. She had run from many things tonight. And now she realized there was one thing she didn’t want to run from.
She slowly straightened up and looked into Mayra’s eyes. For several seconds she said nothing.
“You know I’ve flirted with you a lot as a joke,” she finally said, her voice carrying an honesty she had never shown before. “Because I never had the courage to say it directly.”
She looked away, her eyes drifting toward the cups on the table.
“I think I’m in love with you.” She still couldn’t look at her.
“There have been people in my life before. But no one ever meant enough to me for me to say something like this.” She exhaled softly, smiling.
“I know this might surprise you, but you’re different to me—”
“I know,” Mayra interrupted gently.
Kaelin froze.
“I realized you liked me a long time ago. But I pretended not to notice.”
“Oh,” Kaelin said quietly, her face falling. She had known the feeling might not be returned. Still… she had hoped. Her heart, which had been pounding moments earlier, now began to slow.
“I figured you wouldn’t feel the same,” she said softly. “But I still wanted to tell you—”
“What took me time,” Mayra said, interrupting again, as if she hadn’t heard the rest of Kaelin’s words,
“was understanding how much I care about you.”
Kaelin blinked in confusion. Hadn’t she just rejected her?
A faint smile appeared on Mayra’s lips as she looked down at the cups on the table.
“I’ve never had a romantic relationship before,” she said quietly. “I always thought that one day I’d meet someone I liked like everyone else does—and I’d throw myself into the arms of the man I loved.”
She paused.
“But falling into the arms of a woman? No one ever told me that was possible. And the idea scared me.” A tear slipped down her cheek.
“So I ran from it. Pretended it didn’t exist.” She wiped her eyes. “Now I realize how cowardly that was.” She looked back at Kaelin. Her eyes were red, but there was a smile on her lips Kaelin had never noticed before.
“I should never have let the idea of falling into the arms of a beautiful, intelligent woman who loves me scare me.”
Warmth rushed through Kaelin’s chest. The painful knot in her stomach dissolved into a strange, electric feeling she couldn’t quite understand. She reached out and gently touched Mayra’s face. Then she took her hands in both of hers.
And suddenly she kissed her. Mayra returned the kiss immediately, her hands sliding across Kaelin’s back.
They paused for a brief moment, looking into each other’s eyes.
Then Kaelin pulled her closer, one arm around her waist while the other slid into her hair. As they continued kissing, Kaelin leaned over her, and Mayra slowly lowered herself onto the couch beneath her. When Mayra lay back, she wrapped her legs around Kaelin while Kaelin kissed her neck and chest.
When their lips met again, Mayra suddenly stopped and turned her head slightly.
“Is that a dagger on your belt?” she asked, frowning.
“No,” Kaelin replied with a grin. “I’m just a little too excited.”
For a moment they both burst into laughter, almost hysterical.
But when their eyes met again, Kaelin’s lips returned to her skin. Mayra’s fingers began unfastening the buttons of Kaelin’s shirt.
At last they both surrendered to the desire they had been holding back.
…
Later, their naked bodies lay tangled together on the couch. Both of them were still awake. Mayra rested her head on Kaelin’s chest as they stared at the now cold cups of tea.
The first rays of morning slipped through the shutters and fell across Mayra’s back, making the fine hairs on her skin glow softly in the light.
“I should go,” Kaelin said quietly. There was sadness in her voice.
“Can I come with you?” Mayra asked, her voice carrying the same quiet sorrow.
“I don’t want to put you in danger,” Kaelin said. “Besides… I don’t even know where I’m going or what I’ll do.”
Mayra slowly climbed off the couch and went to gather the clothes she had tossed into the corner. “Do you really think I’m living my life according to some plan right now?”
Kaelin stood as well, pulling her clothes back on.
“I can’t explain how much I don’t want to leave you right now. But…” She paused while pulling her shirt over her shoulders.
“Fuck it.”
She hurried toward Mayra, grabbing her hand. “Will you run away with me?” Mayra smiled and nodded.
“I’m not even sure where we’ll stay or what we’ll eat.”
“I can cook,” Mayra said lightly. “And I don’t care where we sleep as long as I know where your chest is.”
“You—” Kaelin began, leaning in to kiss her again.
But suddenly a loud crash erupted from downstairs. Heavy footsteps thundered on the wooden stairs.
A voice shouted: “Break every door!”
Kaelin froze. She recognized the voice instantly.
“No!