Caren was sitting on the edge of his bed, a book in his hands.
But he hadn’t even turned a page.
He ran a hand through his black hair, closed the book, then stood up with a sigh.
“Physics sucks.”
He let out another sigh and glanced at the textbook.
He knew he had to study more, but…
The book remained closed.
He was too tired to even try.
His eyes fell on a family photo beside his pencil case on the desk.
He looked away and buried his face in his hands.
“I really want to kill myself.
I really do.”
His eyes drifted back to the photo.
A small smile appeared on his face, but it disappeared almost immediately, leaving only a sullen expression.
He cursed under his breath.
Obviously, he didn’t have a bad life.
But what if he weren’t so tired all the time?
What if he could actually enjoy the life he had?
Another photo caught his attention.
In it, he was playing the violin.
His face was blank.
No smile.
No joy.
Just emptiness.
He stood up and glanced around the room.
His white bed, the light-brown desk, and the wooden chair that was never very comfortable.
He clenched his teeth, left his room, and headed for the kitchen.
He stopped and stared at the woman standing there.
His mom was cutting some vegetables.
Her light-brown eyes were focused entirely on the carrot in front of her.
They were exactly like Caren’s.
She tucked her black hair behind her ear and continued working.
For a moment, Caren simply watched her before letting out a soft sigh.
He resisted the urge to call out to her.
He took a few steps toward the door and carefully opened it.
He didn’t want to get his mother’s attention.
Before leaving the house, he glanced back at her one last time.
The moment he stepped outside, a bad smell filled his nose.
As always, the sky wasn’t blue.
It was gray, polluted by humans and their actions.
But that didn’t matter anymore.
He wanted to see everything.
His eyes slowly moved from one corner to another, taking in every detail.
Caren scowled.
Laughter filled his ears.
He slowly turned toward the source of the sound.
A couple was walking there, holding hands and enjoying their time together.
They had smiles on their faces as they talked about something.
Caren ignored them and continued down the street.
“It’s okay.
I didn’t manage to reach my goals, but at least I tried.”
He sneered at himself.
Of course, he was only fooling himself.
He just didn’t want to accept it.
He could accept it, but he didn’t want to.
Yeah, he tried.
So what?
He was still the same person he’d been at the beginning.
He was useless.
A failure to his family.
He couldn’t take care of them or support them.
He couldn’t even defend himself.
Caren shook his head.
That wasn’t important anymore.
There was still somewhere he wanted to go.
He stopped in front of his friend’s house.
Its walls were made of white-painted wood, with a small yard that served as a garden in front of it.
His attention was drawn to the upper floor.
His friend’s room.
Memories of the time they’d spent together flashed through his mind.
Before he knew it, a tear rolled down his cheek.
Caren started walking again.
After a while, he stopped in front of a store, an ordinary one like any other in the world.
He took a deep breath and stepped inside.
He greeted the shopkeeper, then started looking around.
His eyes scanned the shelves as he picked up a bag of chips.
“Too expensive.
Maybe I should buy something else.”
He put it down and searched for something cheaper.
In the end, Caren bought a pack of gum and headed for the exit.
He opened the door while chewing a piece.
“It actually tastes good!”
He reached the highway and watched the cars passing by.
Then he walked toward the edge of the bridge.
The wind danced across his skin and blew through his wavy hair.
“It’s really cold.”
With a frown on his face, he jumped.
His body hit the water, but he didn’t struggle.
He simply let himself drown.
His eyes grew heavy, and after a while, he closed them.
But a moment later, he opened his eyes again.
There was no color, just pure darkness.
He couldn’t see or sense anything.
He tried to move…
but his body wouldn’t listen to him.
Yeah, that made sense.
Was this death?
So what’s next?
Was there no next world?
No heaven or hell?
He tried to speak but couldn’t form any words.
He opened his mouth to breathe, but there was nothing to take in.
But…
why was his heart pounding if he was dead?
In front of him, a small light began to take shape, and it slowly grew until it filled the entire space.
Suddenly, Caren’s eyes started to burn as if he were standing on the sun and staring directly at it.
He wanted to scream, but nothing came out.
He heard a crunching sound, and his body began to crack.
Caren struggled to move.
He wanted to…
Caren shattered into pieces and fell to the ground.
After that, his body began to turn into powder.
The most terrifying part was that he could feel everything.
He felt his body breaking apart, felt it turning into powder.
He wanted to scream, twist his face in pain, and cry.
But he couldn’t.
“Huh?!”
Caren looked around.
Cars were passing by, and he was standing on the bridge.
“I…
What the fuck?!”
Why was he standing there?
He looked at his body.
No cracks.
No pain.
He was completely normal.
His eyes scanned the area before settling on the edge of the bridge.
He looked down, then turned away.
He jumped again.
And again.
But the same thing happened every time.
“Maybe…
I…
have to…
go home?”
Caren stood up, took a few deep breaths, and started walking slowly.
His body was shaking, but he kept moving.
Something didn’t want to let him die?
He looked up at the sky.
Was there a god who wanted him to stay alive?
“I can try again tomorrow.”
When he reached home, he took out his keys and tried to open the door, but the key didn’t fit.
“When…
did they change the lock?”
He frowned, then looked up at the sky again.
It was blue.
Beautiful.
There was no bad smell anymore.
“What…
is happening?”
He shook his head.
“That’s not important for now.”
Caren quickly shifted his focus to how he would explain to his parents why he had left the house without asking for permission.
He knocked on the door and waited.
His father opened it and stared at him.
“I know.
I’m sorry…”
His father stared at him with his black eyes.
“How can I help you?”
Caren froze.
Something was strange.
His dad’s hair was completely black.
There wasn’t a single white hair.
Caren forced a smile.
“Um…
Dad…
I’m—did you color your hair?”
His father looked at him in confusion.
“Yes?”
Caren let out a soft sigh.
“I know I had to tell you, but…”
His dad frowned.
“Tell me what?”
Caren looked at his father impatiently.
“Let me in, and then we can talk about it.”
His father raised his eyebrows and smiled.
“Maybe you’re at the wrong house and looking for someone else.
I don’t recognize you.”
Caren’s throat went dry.
What did that mean?
His dad didn’t know him?
But…
“Um…
but…
you…
I…”
His father frowned.
“It’s not funny.
Please leave, or I’ll call the police.”
Caren tried to form words, but he couldn’t.
He was too confused.
He opened his mouth and spoke nervously.
“I’m Caren…
I’m your son.
I’m your son.
I’M YOUR SON!”
His father sighed and closed the door.