For the first time since being born a dragon, the first time in my 1,001 years as a dragon, I felt regret.
I truly regretted bringing Mirian back and choosing her as my maid.
How, just how, how in the world! Could anyone combine those fragrant, delicious dressings into something so bitter? And how had she prepared that vegetable salad so it wouldn't even take a tooth mark? The bread, made from the finest wheat and meant to have the finest fragrance and softness, had retained its fragrance but become a lump of rock with a Mohs hardness high enough to drive nails. And the spotless, pure white whipped cream tasted salty—That was the crowning achievement.—How was it possible?
I looked at these bizarre poisons(!), difficult even to make deliberately, which, if called food, would require all the world's other food to be thrown into the street. Then I looked at Mirian, watching me anxiously with eyes that seemed to ask, ‘How is it?’
And I spoke quietly.
“Mirian.”
“Y-yes......”
“Come with me.”
Without another word, I stood and took her to my study. I put 15 volumes of basic culinary theory and practice materials into her arms, including ‘The 102 Essences of Cooking,’ ‘Basic Culinary Science,’ and ‘Could You Be Taste-Blind?’ I gave Mirian a warning first.
“Until you've mastered every dish in here, never. Ever, cook. Never again!”
“Whaaat?”
“Your room's the second on the right. Go read these, practice slowly, and master them all. Understood?”
“Yeees......”
She must have been fairly confident in her own way. On the verge of tears, she accepted the stack of cookbooks half her height and staggered toward the place I'd indicated, the room that would be hers from now on. Honestly, how could anyone produce cooking that went from bad to worse?!
No, had she reached that age without a single lesson in housework? They'd laid bare everything men and women did in bed in the middle of the night, yet hadn't taught her even basic cooking properly? What sort of home education was that chief Kareman giving her? He could've at least taught her to make curry!
Seriously wondering whether the position of chief in elf society entitled someone to let his daughter reach adulthood without teaching her a single dish, I walked back to my room.
The food Mirian had served was the nightmare of nightmares. I couldn't stand even looking at it, so I casually used a disintegration spell to literally ‘grind’ it away, then took some fruit and bread from the food storeroom and ate them.
Ahh, the food storeroom is overflowing with fruit, and I can get more from the elf village if necessary, but there isn't much bread left in stock. Does that mean I have to make it again? I brought Mirian here because that was a bother!
Who knew when she'd be able to make proper food? It seemed mastering every dish in the cookbooks I'd given her would take at least a year?
That day, I passed the time reading books I hadn't read yet and making do with light meals from the food storeroom. Mirian would probably be busy studying the cookbooks I'd given her by now? When I lived in Korea, one of the major reasons I'd fallen for my girl was, after all, her excellent cooking.
I'd found that deeply attractive.—Though she had plenty of other merits too.—I confidently maintain that cooking occupied a place in my philosophy of life at least as large as the Pacific's share of Earth's total ocean area, if not larger. It had enough power to determine even the woman I loved. Why else would I always have told my friends this?
“A woman's pretty face lasts 3 years, a good personality lasts 30, and good cooking lasts a lifetime.”
That was one of my philosophies on marriage. But Mirian, who'd been designated our cook with no going back—What would taking it back do to a dragon's dignity?—thoroughly shattered it at the foundations. Her looks were outstanding—She was an elf—but her personality...... Let's say I didn't know yet, since I hadn't seen it. Her cooking...... I couldn't bring myself to comment.
I wasn't going to marry her. I just needed someone like a housekeeper, but she couldn't cook! Once again, what in the world had her parents taught her all those years?! Her fighting stance seemed solid enough. Had they really taught her nothing but fighting until that age? The more I think about it, the angrier I get! Should I just go make an enormous scene and sweep the place clean? But Mirian, who'd entered my room at some point, interrupted those thoughts.
“Um, Lord Rainisis. I-isn't it time for you to sleep?”
When I turned my head......
Pffft! What's that outfit?! Did I make anything that strange?
I hurriedly reviewed my past actions in an instant, then felt relieved when I remembered I'd definitely never made an outfit like that.
Then that means Mirian brought it? It was ‘lingerie’ made of white silk—fine so far, since pure white silk has an elegant, clean charm.
To be more precise, one-piece lingerie. Held up by shoulder straps, reaching halfway between the thighs and knees, the sort of one-piece lingerie you often see in films? That much I could bear. But why, why could I see through it?! Right inside! I turned my head as though indifferent, but my heart was already pounding wildly! Even if I'm a dragon with an iron heart, the habits engraved in my soul and memories, rather than my body, mean I'm completely, utterly! Unaccustomed to this sort of thing!
Without even turning toward her as she fidgeted, I spoke quickly.
“That's enough. I'm not in the mood to do it(?) today. Just learn all the cooking. I'll think about it after that. Go sleep, or read some more cookbooks.”
“Pardon? Yes. Then g-good night.”
I heard her take quick little steps out, sigh deeply, then patter away at a run. I too let out a deep sigh. Phew.
“Honestly, what am I supposed to do from now on? I can't think of a solution?”
I muttered, covering my face with the book. I shouldn't have brought her here. I should've just asked Kareman to introduce me to a female elf who was good at housework. Instead, she caught my eye and acted arrogantly, I tried to tease her, and now I'm the one paying for it!
This strange cohabitation(?) of ours began in earnest less than a week later. During that time, she'd tried rebelling once in a sulky voice, with the utterly laughable complaint, ‘Do you even know how to cook yourself, Lord Rainisis, making me cook for you?’ I grinned and made her a Caesar salad. That quieted her down.
Perhaps life in a dragon's lair was a tremendous mental burden for her, because she spent a third of her waking hours practically searching every inch of it. Watching her wander anxiously through the lair day after day, showing signs of something like half-blown schizophrenia, eventually irritated me. I thought I should make her a schedule, and soon found myself doing just that.
After I prepared my dinner—Prepared only. I hadn't the slightest intention of entrusting the cooking to her! However low my bread supplies were getting, my teeth were strong enough to chew rocks...... But I still wanted normal food!—and we ate in silence, I stopped Mirian as she was about to clear away the dishes and showed her the schedule I'd drawn up myself. She looked deeply dissatisfied when she saw it.
Lately, I didn't know whether she was gradually becoming accustomed to living with me or whether, realizing I wouldn't touch her, her original nerve was starting to swell again. Either way, I thought it was better than having her tremble in terror, so I let her be.
Well, at least it seemed I was gradually planting the idea that I wasn't such a bad dragon.
“Boo, do I have to do it like this?”
“Look at that face. Can't you control your expression? Anyway, follow this schedule. Starting tomorrow. You get 1 day off a week. Take comfort in that if you like.”
“Yeees......”
I smiled as she immediately backed down at my slight browbeating, then began going through the schedule item by item.
“Get up at 10 in the morning, wash up lightly, and wake me. Just wake me normally. Space is an issue, so I won't be sleeping in dragon form.”
“Won't you be uncomfortable in human form?”
“Not particularly. Prepare breakfast at 11. Since your cooking's not up to it, we'll take things straight from the food storeroom and make do. Learning basic cooking quickly will be good for your stomach too,”
“Yeees......”
She readily agreed on that point. Heh, whether she'd been spurred on by a man like me cooking better than her or had some other reason, her eyes shone with determination. I continued.
“Cooking practice from 12 to 1. Combine theory and practice, and make sure you learn at least 1 thing a day. That's how you'll learn quickly.”
“Mm, mm(nod, nod).”
“Lunch at 1 in the afternoon. Same as breakfast. Or we could have a tasting session for something you've made. Correction, I'll taste only what you've made that qualifies as ‘food.’”
“What's that supposed to mean?”
“I can't eat bread you can hammer nails with.”
At my figurative but unmistakably sarcastic remark, her face reddened so suddenly it almost seemed to make a sound. Finding that quite cute, I continued.
“Cooking practice from 2 to 8. Same as before. Do your best.”
“12 hours of cooking practice a day...... You're too strict.”
“Quiet. If you resent it, learn to cook.”
“You're mean......”
Ignoring her whining, I spoke.
“Quiet. From 7 to 10, free time for walks, rest, and so on. Amuse yourself. Decide for yourself how.”
“Free time? I can use it however I want?”
“Yes, that's why I'm giving it to you!”
Her eyes sparkled at my words. She thrust up her hand and spoke.
“Question. Can I use the library?”
The library? Ahh...... She means my study. When did she see that? Well, there probably isn't a storeroom she hasn't been into. Come to think of it, doesn't that make her the first person I've opened my storerooms to? Good grief. Feeling very proud of my study, which an elf had called a library, I spoke.
“The library? Do you mean my study?”
At the word study, she seemed suddenly to freeze, then stammered.
“Th-that's...... Your study?”
“It's my private study. Use it as much as you like.”
“Ah, yes. Thank you.”
She looked as though a screw had somehow come loose. I'd once reacted similarly to my mother's private study. Now I know how Mother felt then. This catharsis of ‘Ahh, aren't I impressive!’ Mother, I finally understand you!
“Dinner at 11. Same as before!”
“Hmm, can I cook during my free time and eat it for dinner?”
“Permission granted, on the condition it falls into the category of cooking!”
“I'll bear that in mind.”
I got the impression she deeply lamented her cooking skills. She'd probably never learned to cook until now, so she couldn't argue at all. Yet looking at her like that, she seemed likely to take revenge on me someday?
“Magic practice and so on from 11 to 14. I'll teach you magic instead of paying wages.”
Mirian had been yawning for a moment, then looked as though her jaw had fallen out and began gaping wordlessly. Urgh...... What sort of undignified behavior is that from an elf? An elf whose jaw falls out mid-yawn. There goes the entire image I'd had of them.
She looked at me in surprise. Well, I've always had a gift for surprising people. I didn't intend to work her for free, so I'd teach her magic or whatever else she wanted to learn. With the same surprised expression as when I'd told Kareman about mutual respect and benefits...... and so on, she asked me.
“M-magic? Do you really mean it?”
“Of course. I won't work you for free. If you don't want to, just say......”
“I'll learn! I'll absolutely learn!”
She shouted very happily. This was the so-called ‘strike and soothe’ strategy, a way to gain tremendous goodwill by creating an atmosphere of anxiety and fear for a long time, then showing just a little kindness. In the lake of anxiety and fear I'd created, she'd simply bitten the bait called magic on the hook called wages that I'd lightly tossed in.
This should make our relationship a little less awkward. Hehehe, Mirian, you've swallowed not just the bait but the whole hook. Laughing inwardly, I continued with the rest of the schedule.
“Bedtime at 15 in the afternoon. Sleep. From 14 to 15 is evening free time!”
“Hmm, that's a simple schedule with quite a lot of time allowed?”
That stings. I'd meant to take a Spartan approach at first, then discarded a dozen or so schedules and thrown this one together in half an hour, so it allowed a great deal of time. Hmm, for all her behavior, Mirian has an unexpectedly sharp side. Still elf blood after all?
“Quiet. Anyway, I expect you to follow this schedule starting tomorrow!”
“Yeees.”
She accepted my schedule without further complaint. Ahh, will this bring a little stability to our lives?