In a daze, she found herself in a small farmhouse courtyard. The familiar arrangement, the familiar scene made her realize she was dreaming again.
This time, the dream’s setting was still on the day her mother and Uncle Lu got married.
Even though she could not hear the sounds of trumpets and suonas or the good-natured teasing laughter of the people around, she could still clearly feel the strong atmosphere of joy permeating from the big red happiness characters posted everywhere and the smiling faces of nearly everyone.
Her heart clenched as she watched Uncle Lu jump off the tractor adorned with big red ribbons, smiling.
He was wearing a brand new white shirt with a small red flower pinned to his chest, his face radiating with a joyful smile.
Standing in front of her mother, he handed over a bunch of brilliant red wildflowers, his eyes brimming with joy and anticipation as he looked at her.
Her mother shyly accepted the flowers, smiling as she lowered her head, revealing a neck with graceful lines. Lu Yun keenly saw Uncle Lu’s Adam’s apple move, as if she could even hear him quietly swallowing.
Mother’s face, tilted downward, glowed with brilliance, and Lu Yun squatted on the ground, looking up at her eyes.
The shy smile in her eyes was unmistakable, and anyone could genuinely feel the deep-seated happiness radiating from within her.
Lu Yun had never seen her mother smile like that in her memory.
She gazed greedily at the sight of her mother and Uncle Lu, both still young before her eyes.
“Wishing the lute and zither harmonize, with time tranquil and good.”
She wished so dearly that they could continue to be happy and contented forever.
But…
Just like every time before, she could only watch helplessly as the little girl emerged from the corner.
She lunged forward, despair clear in her eyes. She tried to scream loudly, even though she knew that actually no one could hear her voice, yet she didn’t give up calling out.
“Why, why do you have to appear every time? Can’t you just let Mom and Uncle Lu happily complete their wedding ceremony just once? Just once, even if only in a dream…”
She frantically stretched out her hand, trying to push the little girl away, time and time again, but the little girl simply couldn’t see her, and she was destined to be unable to touch the little girl.
Undeterred, she even used her whole body to fiercely bump into her. At that moment, her mind had only one thought, crazed and determined, to stop her, stop her, she must stop her…
But, she still could not shake the little girl in the slightest.
She could only watch with wide-open eyes as her body passed through the little girl time and again.
She could only watch with wide-open eyes as the little girl, filled with hatred, steadfastly walked up to her mother and Uncle Lu.
Finally, she could only watch with wide-open eyes as the little girl looked at her mother and Uncle Lu with a gaze full of loathing. Then suddenly, she lifted her hand and, tilting her head back, poured the water from a small bottle concealed in her palm into her mouth…
“Don’t drink it.”
Lu Yun finally couldn’t repress her anguish and burst into heartbreaking sobs.
“Fool, that was real rat poison, not just ash water… fool… Lu Yun, do you know it was you who killed Mom and Uncle Lu, it was because you were so gullible that they died with their eyes wide open, bringing pain to their loved ones and joy to their enemies…”
Lu Yun hovered in midair, her eyes red and splitting as she roared at the six-year-old girl.
It was no use, the ending this time was the same as every other time.
She squatted down, buried her head in her legs, and sobbed—she didn’t dare to look up at Mom and Uncle Lu’s terrified expressions, didn’t dare to see their faces turn pale in an instant, and even more so, didn’t dare to see in their eyes that light named Hope which had forever been extinguished…
Why? They told you not to drink it, why did you still drink?
She was filled with hatred, she hated that little girl, hated her stupidity, her inability to discern right from wrong, hated that she didn’t believe her own mother and instead chose to trust and believe a malicious old woman’s words…
Even though that little girl was actually herself. Yes, she has always, always hated herself, hated that naïve and foolish six-year-old self.
“Doctor Lin, please save Xiaoyun, she, wuwuwu…”
Xia Yuan, holding her daughter Su Yun, ran to the village clinic, her face a picture of panic and tears unstoppable.
Lu Aiguo, walking beside her, wasn’t looking much better. And the large group of neighbors who followed them in, each one’s face had lost the joyful smiles that were there before.
“Lay the child down on the bench.”
As soon as Doctor Lin saw the child in Xia Yuan’s arms, he recognized the symptoms with just one glance; how could he not understand? Almost every year, his clinic received several cases of people who attempted suicide by ingestion of poison.
But the case before him… his heart suddenly sank.
Xia Yuan carefully laid her daughter down on the unusually wide bench in the clinic as instructed.
Lu Aiguo silently handed over a small bottle to Doctor Lin, which still had a bit of residue inside. Doctor Lin sniffed the bottle, dabbed a tiny bit of the liquid on his finger to taste, and then spat it out vigorously.
“This is rat poison, although it seems to have been diluted with water, but the child is too young. I can only give her emergency treatment and induce vomiting for now. But I can’t guarantee she’ll be fine, given the toxicity of rat poison. Go get some mung beans and make a soup after I induce vomiting to rinse it down with, then rush her to the nearest hospital immediately, don’t delay.”
After a moment’s thought, he changed his instructions, “It’s too slow to cook mung bean soup now, just grind the mung beans into a powder, mix with water and pour that down her as well, it’s just as good. You need to be as quick as possible.”
Doctor Lin directed the nurse, who was trying to usher the crowd out of the small clinic, to come over as he spoke.
“There are too many people here, everyone out, quickly, don’t get in the way of Doctor Lin saving lives.” The nurse repeated this message, waved her hands a couple of times to signal everyone to leave, and then hurried over to assist Doctor Lin.
The two quickly got busy with their respective tasks.
The village clinic was indeed too small, so most of the people obediently exited, gathering outside to await news from inside.
Soon, in addition to Xia Yuan and Lu Aiguo, the couple, only two women and a young man remained in the clinic. One of the women, named Lu Hongzhen, was Lu Aiguo’s aunt by family relation, and the other, Tian Auntie, was Xia Yuan’s neighbor. The young man was named Wu Tan, a good friend of Lu Aiguo.
“But I think we don’t have any mung beans at home…” Xia Yuan suddenly collapsed to the ground as if drained of all strength. Lu Aiguo quickly pulled her up, letting her lean on him, afraid she would fall again, so he wrapped his arms around her.
“I have some at my house, I’ll get it and grind it into a powder, mix it with water, and bring it here. Don’t you worry, the child will be fine,” said Xia Yuan’s neighbor Tian Auntie, before turning and hurrying away.