In the countryside of the 1980s, divorce was a taboo, yet I spoke of it openly and calmly. The way these people looked at me turned strange.
Xie Facai was helping his wife up, but hearing my words, he hurriedly shouted, “Who told you that? When did my son ever fool around with another woman? Let me tell you, Liu Yaozhen, I may have a good temper, but I’m not someone to be pushed around. If you can’t explain yourself clearly, I won’t let you ruin my family’s reputation like this!”
I glanced at Xie Facai. This man was really tall.
Of course, I didn’t dare say Wang Cuifeng’s name outright. That woman was a notorious shrew, and she’d been involved with plenty of capable men. If I named her today and she took a grudge against me, I’d never have a peaceful life in this village again.
I preted to be distressed, covering my face and crying, “I don’t know who your son was fooling around with, but I heard that the woman’s husband chopped a piece of flesh off his backside with a hoe! All the doctors and nurses at the county hospital know about it. If you don’t believe me, go ask at the hospital. If he could do it, then he shouldn’t deny it!”
I’d learned all this back when I had my miscarriage and was in the hospital. A kind-hearted nurse told me, warning me that Xie Yanlai was no good and urging me to divorce him quickly.
But back then I was timid and weak. I thought I already belonged to him, that my parents didn’t like me anyway, and that after a divorce I’d have nowhere to go—it would be too shameful. Xie Yanlai knelt and begged my forgiveness afterward, and I returned to that scumbag’s side. And so I ured thirty years of misery.
Now, I refuse to ure it any longer.
Shameful or not, it’s better than being tormented to death. When I said this, everyone gasped and turned to look at the scumbag.
His face had gone dark. He glared at me fiercely, his eyes as if he wanted to strangle me.
I kept crying, “I was a perfectly good young woman, with all my arms and legs intact—why should I marry this shameless bastard? I’d rather smash my head against a wall than live with him!”
Liu Cuizhi had already gotten up and roared, “You want a divorce? Fine! But my son won’t be cheated by you for nothing. Pay me a thousand yuan in compensation!”
“No—no!” Xie Yanlai struggled over, his face full of earnest pleading. “The one I love is Zhenzhen. I must marry her!”
I sneered inwardly. So he planned to cling to me relentlessly, refusing to rest until he’d destroyed me?
I backed away a few steps. “Let’s save each other some face, Xie Yanlai. The one you love is clearly Lin Baozhu—it’s got nothing to do with me. It’s getting late, so I’m heading home. We’ll talk about the divorce tomorrow.” With that, I pushed through the crowd and walked out.
Suddenly I heard cries of alarm behind me, then a whoosh of wind at the back of my head, followed by a neighbor’s shout.
“Ahh, watch out!”
I turned and saw a knife chopping down toward my shoulder.
Liu Cuizhi was roaring, “You want to ruin my son’s reputation? I’ll chop you to death right now!”
There was no time to dodge. Terrified, I shut my eyes and screamed. Was I really going to be hacked to death right after being reborn?!
Fortunately, at that moment, a tall figure darted to my side. He grabbed the knife in her hand, wrenched it away in a few moves, and hurled it over the fence. It was none other than my brother, Liu Junchuan.
He looked at me anxiously. “Are you all right? Zhenzhen, did they hurt you?”
He was the only one in the family who cared about me. All those years, I had caused him so much worry.
Now he still looked just as handsome and dashing as in the old days, with a strong, sturdy build, wearing a white shirt and black trousers—a spirited young man, no longer the gaunt, haggard figure he’d been before his death.
Overwhelmed with emotion, I threw my arms around him and burst into tears: “Brother, I was wrong! I shouldn’t have married him! I’m sorry for making you worry!”
My brother patted my back, then pulled me away. He had never been this close with me before, and he seemed a bit awkward: “As long as you know you were wrong. I heard there was a commotion over here, so I came to take a look—who knew they’d actually try to kill someone!” My brother glared darkly at Liu Cuizhi.
“If you want to bully my sister, you’d better ask me first whether I agree! What are you trying to do, murder someone?” My brother was a famous strongman in the village and had always worked away from home; he had his own influence, so naturally they didn’t dare come over.
Liu Cuizhi wanted to argue, but didn’t dare, and cried in frustration: “We put in so much—how could one wedding ruin everything like this, thanks to your sister!”
I looked at her calmly: “You have no right to feel wronged. You didn’t pay a single cent of bride price—you only gave me a red dress someone else had worn, and I returned that to you. The furniture I smashed was all given to me by my brother. At most, I’ll pay you back for the broken glass.”
“What? Didn’t you say the bride price was the Three Rounds and One Sound, plus seven hundred and fifty yuan?” asked Sister Wang, the village’s most notorious gossip.
Before Liu Cuizhi could speak, I quickly said: “What bride price? Their whole family looked down on me—why would they buy me anything? Even the money for the wedding banquet was borrowed, and tomorrow they’re expecting me to pay it back! Everyone, tell me—could I go through with this marriage? They just want to save face, claiming they gave me nice things? Where are they? Show me!”
Everyone’s eyes toward the Xie family changed, and my brother was so furious his face turned green. He kicked over a pickle jar beside him, and Xie Facai flinched in fright.
My brother sneered: “So you think our family has no one to stand up for it?”
Xie Facai said hastily: “Who said that? That’s slander! When did we ever ask you to repay the banquet money?”
I immediately said: “Everyone heard that. So if you come asking me for the cost of today’s wedding banquet, I’m not paying.”
Xie Facai’s face changed, and he ground his teeth in hatred.
My brother added: “Uncle, when did our family ever take that much money from yours? Make it clear!”
Liu Cuizhi pointed at me: “My son spent plenty of money on your sister back then—doesn’t that count toward the bride price for your family? Taking the money without delivering, shameless!”
I sneered: “She is her, I am me. Whoever your son spent money on, go collect from them. Why should I shoulder her burden?”
My eldest brother frowned: “Your sister took their money?” He was always working away from home and rarely came back, so he didn’t know much about village affairs.
I nodded: “I’ll tell you about it later. Let’s go home first.”
Liu Cuizhi came over and grabbed at me, trying to stop me from leaving, but my eldest brother pushed her aside.
“You can’t force a cow to drink by pushing its head down, can you? My sister said she’s not willing, so stop making things hard for her. As for compensation, we’ll discuss it tomorrow. Don’t worry, our Liu family isn’t the kind that does something and refuses to own up to it.”
Xie Facai also chimed in, “Since the girl is letting it go, and the Liu brothers have always been decent men, I trust the compensation will satisfy us. Let them go—don’t make this uglier than it needs to be.”
I glanced at Xie Facai. What did he mean by compensation that would satisfy us? How utterly cunning and treacherous.
Several village women tried to console Liu Cuizhi, but she just kept her head down, wiping her tears as if she had suffered some enormous injustice.
As I walked out of the courtyard, I looked back at Xie Yanlai. He was glaring at me viciously, but the moment he saw me turn around, he quickly retracted that hateful look and put on an expression of deep affection.
I didn’t care in the slightest. For decades in my past life, that was always the way he looked at me. I was used to it.
The road was dark at night. My brother and I walked side by side, with villagers following behind us, whispering among themselves.
My brother kept sneaking glances at me. I knew what he was worried about, so I smiled at him. “Brother, don’t worry. I’ll be fine.”
I knew my reputation wouldn’t be good from now on—a woman who demanded a divorce on her wedding night, what kind of reputation could she have? But my heart was perfectly calm. My life was in my own hands.
I would never again secretly pray that Zhao Qin might show me a little affection, only to be hurt so deeply. I would never again work myself to the bone supporting a family that seemed determined to suck me dry like leeches. And I would never again have three children who died young, whose lives were so miserable.
Just thinking of them made my heart ache as if pierced by needles.
Because I had been such a foolish, muddle-headed mother, that was why my children had suffered so much. Never again in this life.
My brother asked me what exactly had happened, so I told him the whole story of how Xie Yanlai and I got engaged and married—not only had the Xie family deceived me, but my own family had too.
Suddenly, I said with a bitter smile, “Brother, you’ve seen it for yourself. From now on, all I have is myself.”