Lanterns hung beneath the eaves in front of the door, but their light was dim.
Kan’er opened the door and turned slightly to answer, “Yes.”
Seeing that the lights in the room had gone out, Nanny Pang said mockingly, “Can’t wait to go serve His Highness, can you? Already getting all worked up.”
Kan’er lowered her head and said nothing.
Her slender, pale fingers twisted together in front of her.
She looked uneasy and afraid.
But she was thinking, Last time, when I ordered the people from the Directorate of Punishments to wash this old woman’s mouth, I should’ve had them soak it in salt first. Maybe then they could’ve gotten it clean!
The side hall of Jiarong Hall stood behind the main residence.
Kan’er followed Nanny Pang beneath the eaves of the side rooms, then around the short covered passage on the west side, until they reached the courtyard behind.
Lanterns hung beneath the eaves all along the way. Every two zhang[1]A traditional Chinese unit of length equal to ten chi; its precise size varied historically. jQuery('#footnote_plugin_tooltip_3735907_1_1').tooltip({ tip: '#footnote_plugin_tooltip_text_3735907_1_1', tipClass: 'footnote_tooltip', effect: 'fade', predelay: 0, fadeInSpeed: 200, delay: 400, fadeOutSpeed: 200, position: 'top center', relative: true, offset: [-7, 0], });, a palace maid or eunuch stood watch beside the path.
Everyone kept their eyes lowered, solemn and disciplined.
The entire courtyard was so quiet it seemed deserted.
The silence made Kan’er’s heart rise in her chest.
In her previous life, she had gone from a secret childbearing tool to a Crown Prince’s Liangdi[2]A formally ranked secondary consort of the Crown Prince, below his principal wife, the Crown Princess. jQuery('#footnote_plugin_tooltip_3735907_1_2').tooltip({ tip: '#footnote_plugin_tooltip_text_3735907_1_2', tipClass: 'footnote_tooltip', effect: 'fade', predelay: 0, fadeInSpeed: 200, delay: 400, fadeOutSpeed: 200, position: 'top center', relative: true, offset: [-7, 0], }); entered in the Imperial Jade Register[3]The formal genealogy recording members and recognized descendants of the imperial clan. jQuery('#footnote_plugin_tooltip_3735907_1_3').tooltip({ tip: '#footnote_plugin_tooltip_text_3735907_1_3', tipClass: 'footnote_tooltip', effect: 'fade', predelay: 0, fadeInSpeed: 200, delay: 400, fadeOutSpeed: 200, position: 'top center', relative: true, offset: [-7, 0], });, then from Consort Shu to Empress, whom Emperor Qingzhao had favored exclusively for twenty years.
With Emperor Qingzhao’s abdication edict issued, her youngest son was about to become emperor, and she was about to become the Empress Dowager, revered by all.
Everyone said her life was the stuff of legend.
Kan’er herself thought so too.
So when she learned that an old illness had brought on an incurable disease, she felt calmer than she ever had before.
Emperor Qingzhao, on the other hand—
He flew into a rage in public on several occasions, and the fine lines at the corners of his eyes deepened. Overnight, he seemed to have aged ten years.
Kan’er saw it, but she was bewildered all the same.
Truthfully, she had never understood Emperor Qingzhao’s feelings for her.
It wasn’t that Kan’er was slow to notice.
She had simply never been able to read this man. Perhaps, deep down, she hadn’t dared to try.
The imperial family was merciless, and the emperor’s heart impossible to fathom.
Who hadn’t heard the saying, “The imperial house is the most heartless of all”?
For a woman in the palace, the greatest taboo was to give her heart to someone.
Even as a prince, Emperor Qingzhao had always been the sort to plan a hundred moves ahead. If he didn’t speak, no one dared guess what he meant.
Including her.
So even after spending decades together,
Kan’er still didn’t know whether she felt more awe, more familiarity, or more dependence toward him.
Or perhaps she loved him?
At the time, though, the question flickered through Kan’er’s mind for only an instant before she pushed it aside.
There was no point thinking about such things when she was about to die.
After twenty years as husband and wife, she had enjoyed his exclusive favor for twenty years and all the wealth and splendor the world could offer. What more could she ask for?
If she didn’t understand, then she didn’t understand.
With that thought, Kan’er died peacefully in Emperor Qingzhao’s arms.
Who could have imagined that when she opened her eyes again—
Not only had she seen the old enemy of her youth, she had discovered she had not a stitch of clothing on. She was completely naked!
It was absurd.
And yet…
Kan’er lowered the hand she had held in front of herself and touched her still-flat belly. She bowed her head, forcing back the sting in her eyes.
At this point in her previous life, she had been timid and weak.
All she had wanted was to stay alive.
So she had done everything a servant was supposed to do, obediently handing over the child she had carried for ten months and given birth to.
Even knowing that her child would have to call Zheng his mother, she had firmly believed it was best for both of them.
And what had happened?
The Crown Prince was placed under house arrest, and chaos engulfed the Eastern Palace.
Her Yao-ge’er[4]The ending “-ge’er” is an affectionate form of address for a boy, especially within a family. jQuery('#footnote_plugin_tooltip_3735907_1_4').tooltip({ tip: '#footnote_plugin_tooltip_text_3735907_1_4', tipClass: 'footnote_tooltip', effect: 'fade', predelay: 0, fadeInSpeed: 200, delay: 400, fadeOutSpeed: 200, position: 'top center', relative: true, offset: [-7, 0], }); became Zheng’s punching bag. Not only was he raised into an idiot, he was ultimately drowned in a well!
He was only four.
Only four!
Her beautiful Yao-ge’er, her obedient Yao-ge’er, had lain stiff and motionless in her arms.
No matter how she cried, no matter how bitterly she regretted it, the little one never woke again.
Later, she brought Zheng down.
She watched with her own eyes as Zheng drank the poisoned wine in front of her, dying with her eyes wide open. But her Yao-ge’er was dead. There was no bringing him back!
But now—
Kan’er let out a breath and looked up at the boundless night sky.
Whatever the reason she had come back to life, she hadn’t had a choice about starting over at this point. So she would walk the same road again!
No matter what, this time she would never hand Yao-ge’er over to anyone else and let the little one end up a fool who died young!
She would keep Yao-ge’er by her side.
And raise him safe and sound, in good health!
“Wait here.”
They had reached the side hall.
Nanny Pang said coldly, then went in to announce her.
Kan’er stood beside a pillar beneath the eaves and stopped thinking, lest she show the Crown Prince any emotion she shouldn’t.
A little while later, Nanny Pang came out.
“His Highness is playing chess. He hates being disturbed, so when you go in, stand to one side and keep quiet. Once he’s finished and calls for you, then you can pay your respects. Understand?”
“Understood.”
Kan’er nodded, her right cheek turned away from the light.
Nanny Pang seemed about to say something more.
But they couldn’t keep His Highness waiting. In the end, she held back any further unpleasant remarks and waved Kan’er inside.
The Crown Prince was in the inner room, while several young eunuchs kept watch in the hall.
Kan’er entered without looking around.
Head slightly bowed, she passed the corner of a coconut-fiber rug woven with a wanzi-and-ruyi pattern in the hall, went through a floor-to-ceiling floral screen, and entered the inner room.
As soon as she stepped inside, a faint fragrance reached her nose.
It was the Crown Prince’s usual incense.
Kan’er halted, inexplicably reluctant to go any farther.
Despite herself, she pictured Emperor Qingzhao’s face as it had been before her death: handsome and imposing, yet marked by grief and age.
But this was no time to think about anything else. After a brief pause, Kan’er found a corner and stood there.
Hai Shun, chief eunuch of the Eastern Palace, stood beside the Crown Prince. He caught sight of her from the corner of his eye and looked up.
Hai Shun remembered Kan’er vividly.
There was no other reason: the girl was breathtakingly beautiful!
Calling her a beauty beyond compare would not have been an exaggeration.
She was just far too timid.
Her figure was full, but her frame still looked rather slight. He wondered whether she could withstand the Crown Prince’s favor.
Their Crown Prince was so tall and powerfully built. At only twenty-one, he was already the most imposing in stature among the adult princes.
Especially the trousers His Highness had changed out of each morning for the last three days—well, they’d been, ahem…
Chess demanded foresight, careful planning, and a weighing of gains and losses.
A person’s breadth of mind, insight, intelligence, and strategic ability could all be seen in the way he played. And the Crown Prince’s skill was astonishing.
Not one of the princes could beat him.
Whenever he played, the Crown Prince was at his most focused and absorbed.
So Kan’er stood there for the better part of half an hour.
When the Crown Prince placed his final piece and finished reviewing the game, Hai Shun promptly led the young eunuchs forward to help him wash his hands.
Once the Crown Prince had finished, the young eunuchs withdrew without a sound, leaving only Kan’er and the Crown Prince in the room.
At last, the Crown Prince lifted his eyes to look at Kan’er.
“Come here.”
References[+]