Wasn’t that obvious?
The Crown Prince was a man of such imposing grandeur that failing to serve him properly could cost her her head. How could a lowly palace maid like her not be afraid?
But she could never say that out loud.
“I’m not afraid…”
Under his deep, penetrating gaze, Kan’er couldn’t bear to meet his eyes. She lowered hers and turned her head slightly, her voice soft and small.
“If you’re not afraid, then what are you?”
Kan’er said, “I-I’m in awe of you.”
Luo Xun almost asked if awe wasn’t just another word for fear.
Then he realized that awe included respect as well as fear.
His brows lifted almost imperceptibly.
“So you’ve been showing your awe to Me?”
Kan’er: “…”
Up close, his voice had a uniquely bewitching resonance. It made her ears tingle and her body go soft.
And then he asked such a question with an utterly straight face.
Kan’er felt heat rise all over her.
In her previous life, he had trained her so thoroughly that she had grown increasingly sensitive to his gaze, his voice, even his scent.
Even later, when they were an old married couple and had already had three children, she still couldn’t bring herself to speak to him from this close.
Pressing her lips together, Kan’er decided to throw caution to the wind.
She leaned softly against his shoulder and said gently, “Your Highness, I want to serve you. May I?”
Luo Xun’s expression didn’t change. Meeting the little palace maid’s clear, honey-colored eyes, he remembered that she had come to take Zheng’s place in receiving his favor.
“Mm.”
He gave a slight nod.
“But first, you must answer My question.”
Kan’er looked bewildered and uneasy, though in her heart she knew what he was going to ask.
Luo Xun gazed at her and asked in a low voice, “What do you think about raising the child in Jiarong Hall?”
It was exactly the same as in her previous life.
And what had she answered then?
Kan’er thought back.
She had said, “This servant will do whatever the Crown Princess decides.”
For a servant who was expected to obey her masters, it was the safest and most suitable answer—and the one most likely to prove her loyalty.
Even though Kan’er hadn’t wanted that at the time.
But she had been born lowly, with the fate of a servant. Ever since she had blossomed into an increasingly lovely young woman, people around her had always told her the same thing.
They said that no matter how beautiful she was, it wouldn’t do her any good. She would be a servant to someone all the same. They said she had the face of a seductress but was too lowly to rise above her station, and could only secretly become a eunuch’s paired palace companion.
She heard it so often that, with time, she believed it.
Especially since Kan’er had once witnessed a palace servant being beaten to death for disobeying her master. The flesh had been battered away, white bones showing through, while blood and bits of flesh flew everywhere.
They had beaten her clean in two!
Kan’er didn’t want to die, and she certainly didn’t want to die that way.
So when the Crown Prince had asked her this in her previous life, Kan’er had declared her loyalty without a moment’s hesitation.
She thought that was what the Crown Prince wanted to hear.
But she had been wrong.
At the time, the Crown Prince’s expression had been terrifyingly cold.
He had even decided not to take her to bed, rising to leave.
But how could that be allowed?
If the Crown Prince left, the Crown Princess would think her useless and might find some excuse to have her beaten to death.
Kan’er didn’t want to be beaten to death.
She was terrified.
In her panic, she had thrown her arms around the Crown Prince and shamelessly told him that though she was a servant, she was still pure.
Whether it was because she had cried so bitterly that he couldn’t bear to refuse her, or for some other reason, in the end the Crown Prince had taken her to bed.
Though it hadn’t been a pleasant experience.
But that was the time she had conceived.
“Why are you crying?”
The man’s voice pulled Kan’er back to the present. She raised a hand and, sure enough, felt tears on her cheek.
“Please forgive this servant, Your Highness.”
She tried to get up, but Luo Xun held her down.
Looking at her reddened eyes, and remembering the near-despair on her face moments ago, he said, “Say it just like that.”
“This servant wouldn’t dare.”
Kan’er looked at him hesitantly.
Luo Xun took out a handkerchief and wiped the tears from her fair cheek.
“I forgive you.”
His expression was calm, giving nothing away.
Kan’er’s hand, hidden beneath her sleeve, tightened. Then, as if she had made up her mind, she said, “Your Highness, this servant is unwilling.”
She looked straight at the Crown Prince, her gaze resolute and bright.
Like a boulder beneath the blazing sun.
Unbreakable, dazzling.
As Luo Xun watched her, it felt as though something had pricked him in the heart.
“If you’re unwilling, why?”
Kan’er pretended not to notice the scrutiny in his eyes and answered without thinking, “Because it’s the child of you and me, Your Highness.”
If circumstances hadn’t forced her hand, if she hadn’t been helpless, what mother would willingly hand over her own child?
Kan’er blinked away the sting in her eyes.
She tried to put it in terms befitting her age and station.
“Your Highness is as peerless as a celestial being. This servant wouldn’t dare presume, but she is overjoyed to have the chance to serve you.
“This servant is young and doesn’t know what it feels like to carry a child, nor how to be a good mother. But…”
She smiled, a little embarrassed.
“This servant was once someone’s child, too. My mother has been gone a long time, but I still remember her face and voice, and how she loved and protected me when I was little.
“This servant thinks that if she were fortunate enough to have a child with Your Highness, she would cherish and love that child just as her own mother cherished and loved her.”
No amount of regret could undo the sorrow of her previous life. What she had to do now was seize this chance with all her might.
“So, Your Highness, this servant is unwilling.”
By the end, Kan’er’s voice sounded weak, but she didn’t look away. Her gaze remained clear and intent.
The corner of Luo Xun’s mouth lifted in the faintest smile, almost without his noticing. A ripple stirred in his calm eyes.
He was so devastatingly handsome it was hard to describe.
Kan’er unexpectedly met the man’s starlit gaze, and her hand, which had been holding his, paused.
Luo Xun pressed his lips together slightly, returning to his usual solemn expression.
The large hand around Kan’er’s slender waist hesitated, then drew her a little closer. His voice was low.
“Childbirth is difficult. Aren’t you afraid?”
“But you’ll be there, won’t you?”
Realizing how quickly she had answered, Kan’er’s voice dwindled until the last few words were almost inaudible.
But Luo Xun heard them.
With him there, she wasn’t afraid?
Luo Xun looked at the little palace maid’s vivid red lips, moist and full, exhaling a delicate fragrance. They were like fresh cherries presented as tribute.
A hint of sweetness lingered in the air with each breath.
He didn’t like cherries; he didn’t find them particularly tasty.
But now, Luo Xun suddenly wanted to taste one.
And he did.
His pale, thin lips settled on her full, rosy ones. The moment they touched, both their bodies seemed to stiffen.
A thick mist seemed to cloud the man’s eyes, curling in wisps, and Kan’er felt her heart give a sudden, uneasy flutter.
Yet this side of him was the one she knew best.
As if under a spell,
Kan’er parted her lips slightly and took his lower lip between hers.
Luo Xun had never imagined that one day he, too, might lose himself and become so intimate with a woman.
But she was so bold!
A sudden blaze flared within him. Just like in his dream, she really was brazen enough to seduce him the moment she arrived!
His throat bobbed. Luo Xun gave himself over to it.
He caught her petal-soft lips between his and bit and sucked at them.
Sweet and soft—delicious, just as he’d expected.
He might have been enjoying himself, but Kan’er was having a miserable time.
Because the Crown Prince was bad at kissing!
Kan’er tried to guide him, but she was already so accustomed to his presence, and this body was far too easily roused.
She felt dazed and light-headed.
Her hands instinctively climbed around his neck, and her soft, shapely body pressed more snugly against his.
Luo Xun’s gaze darkened further.
The hand at her waist began to slide lower.
Suddenly, a faint sound came from beyond the floor screen.
Hai Shun stood with his back to the room, cold sweat covering his forehead.
“Y-Your Highness, His Majesty summons you to Qianyuan Hall.”