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Rebuilding Soul – A Fox Girl’s Journey To Feel Alive Again

Chapter 10 / 122

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Chapter 8. Alone time

Rebuilding Soul – A Fox Girl’s Journey To Feel Alive Again

Sarisa called it a lavender latte? It's definitely my new favorite drink, what was the old one? I didn't even have one in particular, now that I think about it. Anyway, I was looking for excuses to come here more often, now I'll come even if the sisters end up hating me... well, no, I wouldn't, but even then, I would ask Nicole to come here and get me one of these.

Almost finished... I guess I'll drink the rest at once, better one last good sip than a lot of insufficient sips.

"Seina"

Mh? I look up and see Lenna calling to me.

“... Y-yes?” wait wait wait, have I been ignoring them all this time? But before I start to worry, I notice the smile of both sisters.

"Would you like another cup?" Lenna asks.

"Yes please," I take a last sip, making sure there's nothing left, before handing the cup back to Lenna.

"I'll be right back," she leaves, still with an almost invisible smile on her face.

"Well, Seina, we'll order new furniture later, for now tell me about yourself! Hey, no, hold on! Better when Lenna comes back, I'll tell you about me!"

Cheerfully proceeds to tell me her story, Lenna and her are twenty-seven and twenty-five years old respectively, both come from a small village near the border town of Rossane, right next to the huge river that separates this kingdom from the Carian kingdom, their parents live a simple life there now, but they used to run this bar-restaurant in their youth, so they inherited it to their two daughters when they showed interest in the big city.

Unfortunately, her parents got sick more than a year ago, so they spend most of their money on expensive medicine and doctors.

My first impulse is to offer to go and heal them, but it doesn't seem to be serious, just expensive, at least from what she tells me, besides, although I'm starting to open up a bit with the sisters, I can't forget that we just met, if I offer to do them a big favor now, won't they take it as me trying to cheat them, blackmail them or something like that?

If their parents were in imminent danger, I wouldn't worry about something like that, but for now I'll take her word for it that they'll be fine, still, I must remember to take a walk around Rossane and their home village as soon as I get the chance, and visit their parents.

Anyway, basically, when they got into debt, Lance found this place, so he pulled strings to make the debt grow, so they couldn't pay and ended up selling themselves to him, typical spoiled noble behavior... I know not all nobles are bad, in fact, Agnes Kitase, the Countess of my hometown is quite well liked among the people.

But I digress, Lance started with threats, then chased away customers, then suppliers, then threatened to revoke the shop's land rights, and finally with violence. If both sisters didn't agree to be his.

Meanwhile, good old Dom is an army veteran and an old friend of the sisters' parents, he partly foiled their plans and kept the idiots away, but Lance was still a nobleman with influence, so when Dom was wounded, he took the opportunity.

Luckily it ended well in the end, well, I still don't know what will happen, but I think I can trust Ilona and Nicole to take care of it, once she wakes up, so I'm not worried...

It was a bit of a reality check for me though, usually when there's a problem, I wonder what the adults are going to do to fix it, but this time, when the attack on Milk Taste started, I was forced to realize that now it's ME the adult who has to do something to fix it... Well, it was a figure of speech, I've never really felt very adult like.

Oh well, I'm not complaining, it gave me a chance to finally have friends, so part of me wants to thank Lance, before I kill him of course.

At some point Lenna joined in, and with her, another cup full of heaven~, of course this time I managed to keep most of my attention on the story.

“It's a pretty simple story if you just sum it up like that... but even without stupid nobles in the way, it was pretty hard, you know, starting in a new city.” Sarisa says.

"At least we had a place to live and a place to work." Lenna replies, much calmer, but if you look closely at her expression, she clearly agrees with her sister.

"I hope things get better... but enough about us, what about you?"

"Uh..."

'Right, I'm part of the conversation too! That means I have to say something too! But what? Where do I start? Should I tell them everything? Although, my life is kind of pitiful, well, I guess not really, rather, there's not much to tell, I feel like I wasted my whole adolescence, I don't want them to think badly of me, but I don't want to hide anything from them either. Mmm. I'd better ask.

"W-well, I don't know where to start, do you want to ask something?"

"OK! Are you from the capital?"

"No, my cousin lives here, I'm staying with her while I study at the academy, I was born in Castelmar City." I answer, remembering my hometown in the Kitase family's district.

"Do you have any siblings?"

"I have two older sisters and one younger brother"

"How old are you?"

"22"

And so, I continued to answer her questions, and after a few minutes, and with the help of the wonderful coffee to calm me down, we got to know each other better. Lenna doesn't talk much, but she still seems very interested in the conversation and asks questions of her own from time to time, I guess she just lets her sister do the talking.

"Would you let me pet your tail?"

"... What?"

"I've heard that a lot of beastfolk don't like to be touched, but it looks so fluffy... I need to pet it, maybe I can brush it? Or comb it? Oh! Hugging it sounds nice too, but if you don't want to, I can settle for at least burying my face in it. What do you say?"

Isn't your 'at least' getting more and more outrageous?

"Eh, my tail is very sensitive"

"Oh... okay..." She looks so sad! I have to do something!

"But... maybe one day? Although burying your face in it is too much-"

"Really? Then I'll take your word for it in the very near future!"

"W-well..."

"Don't mind her," Lenna says. "And you, beastfolk tails are a forbidden place, they are said to be more receptive than most of the rest of the body, so that only a trusted person can touch them."

"Really?"

"Oh, well... speaking of foxes only, we are, yes, but if it's just a petting, m-maybe I wouldn't mind, i-in the future, possibly." I answer.

"I'll try"

Try what?

It was dusk when I decided to leave, promising to help with the place later, for now it's time to go... and I just remembered my lasagna that I left in the other room... I could have finished it while we were talking! what a waste!

Nothing can be done if I forgot it, I just hope they don't think I didn't like it... I trace my house as I walk down the street... what a bliss, I'm happy after a long time, I have friends! And even two of them! I can't wait to tell Nicole.

I hum and wag my tail a little too much on the way home, unbelievably I don't even mind the looks I get... ok, I do mind them, but I'm happy enough to put them aside, for now.

When I get back home, I close the door behind me and go up to Nicole's room, I find her sleeping peacefully, but in a different position, mmm... I'll wake her up, she can go back to sleep soon if she's still tired.

"Nicole"

I reach over and gently shake her shoulder.

"Hey, wake- UUO!?"

She takes my arm and pulls me towards the bed, before I realize what's happening, she's giving me a full body hug, I'm on top of her like a teddy bear she's hugging to sleep, her legs wrapped around mine, her breasts on my neck, one arm holding me from behind while the other starts stroking one of my ears....

She also mumbles, "This is mine, you f*cking witch." What is she dreaming about? Mm, oh well, a few more minutes of sleep is fine, the sensations I suddenly have were not part of my decision... at all.

After relaxing with Nicole for a while, I decide to wake her up when I notice it's gotten dark, several shakes later, she finally releases me.

"Are you awake already?"

"..."

"Nicole?"

"... Mm"

"Uh, okay, are you hungry?"

"Yes", she says, suddenly perking up, I guess if we're anything alike, her love of sleep is only surpassed by her love of food.

"Anything you want?" I ask as we walk down the stairs.

"Meat"

“... That's it?”

"More meat"

“I'll improvise again I guess, wait, it's bad to eat too much meat before bed”

"I'll leave it up to you then," she says as she goes to the bathroom and I go to the kitchen.

Ugh, that's a terrible answer... let's see, white meat should be fine, it's not as heavy on the stomach as red meat, though I won't let her go back to sleep right after.

Something quick, it'll be similar to what I made her before, but we have a lot of chicken, it's one of my favorite meats, you can make all kinds of meals with it.

Well, at least I'm going to make a different dish, first I wash my hands, don't forget this step...

I start to heat the oven, I never learned the exact temperatures, even though it is something very important, I just trust my intuition. I take a muffin pan and put some oil in it, luckily, I always have something prepared for moments like this, pizza dough, I take some and put it on the pan.

Nicole appears and sits in her usual place watching me cook.

Now for the sauce, the key to making a delicious meal is to think about who will be eating it, so I will make Nicole's favorite, tomato, onion, oil, garlic, vinegar, salt, pepper, sugar, bay leaf, oregano.... Ugh, it's not my forte to make sauces, so I hope I got the quantities right, at least it smells and tastes great, I hope she likes it.

"Isn't there too little onion?" She asks, suddenly appearing over my shoulder.

"Well, I don't like onions"

"... Blasphemy"

“What do you want me to do? I've tried to like it, I've seen a lot of dishes that look and smell great, but when I taste the onion in them, um, sorry to say, I know I shouldn't talk bad about the food, but it really grosses me out, I hate the taste and how it feels in my mouth..."

"It can't be that bad"

"Well, if it's well chopped like it is now, I can combine it very well in sauces like this, or well mixed with the dish, like a lasagna I had this afternoon, I guess, but I refuse to even be near purple onion, the strong smell and taste it leaves in the mouth almost makes me throw up..."

“You have to learn to eat from all kind-”

"Wait," I interrupt, "I know what you're going to say, but what you're asking is like me asking you to eat figs every day, in every meal, it's impossible, isn't it?"

That makes her stop talking and for once she doesn't argue with me and sits back down, ha! Fun fact, Nicole hates figs, another fun fact, my aunt and uncle, Nicole's parents, have about 10 fig trees around their house in my hometown, which is actually worrisome, a letter I received from my parents a while back mentioned that so many roots were starting to crack their house.

I shake my head a little to refocus.

I put the sauce over the dough in the pans, along with mozzarella, goat cheese, bits of chicken breast in some, mushrooms in others, combined and, why not, bits of sausage, and that's it... well, a little more cheese never hurts, oh, should I have mixed it all before putting it in the pans...? Anyway, it looks good.

I put the pan in the oven, my cousin and I prefer meat, but I always try to add fruits and vegetables to our meals, but this time laziness got the better of me. Now to drink... if I ask Nicole, she'll probably say beer or wine, so I won't bother, well, she said she'd leave it up to me, so it'll have to be my style, hot milk! I take a saucepan, there's nothing better than some milk before bed, I don't mind if she calls me childish.

I guess tea or just water is also a good option to have just before bed, but I never learned how to make good tea, and nothing they sell for easy brewing I particularly like, although the jasmine lavender tea mom makes is amazing...

I just realized that I really like lavender, maybe it's something about the way it smells... even though I don't particularly like the way the flower looks, lavender fields are very pretty, but when I see the flower up close, I feel like it's covered in little bugs for some reason.

Anyway, after a while I take two large cups and fill them to the brim with hot milk, now all we have to do is wait for the pizza muffins, or whatever they are called, to be ready.

We both sit there in a comfortable silence, taking small sips from our cups, I look at my cousin, misaligned as always, a little more so than usual, but her face looks as beautiful as always, when she's quiet she has this aura that only a reliable adult can give... I don't really want to have something like that ever, I feel like I would need to have a lot of annoying responsibilities to convey that kind of vibe, so I'm not jealous of her like I used to be.

The fact that she's still wearing only a sports bra and panties doesn't even seem to register in her mind, which I'm actually not-so-secretly grateful for.

"Aren't you cold?"

"Mm, not really"

"Okay"

"..."

Conversation dies, it still happens from time to time, even if I talk to Nicole regularly without any problem, I have to think of more conversation topics or my new friends might get bored, OH RIGHT! I didn't tell Nicole!

But...she still looks tired, it will hurt my heart if I tell her and she says something like 'oh, good for you... is dinner ready?' so I'll wait until she feels better.

I feel my ear twitch, it's getting too loud, the hellish sound of a fly, damn, I hate flies, I think they're the only animal I hate, uh, along with spiders, oh, and centipedes, bats, especially those giant ones that look like little imps, some scary monkeys, leeches... huh, I don't like many animals, even though I love animals in general... I hadn't noticed, 'wait, what was I saying? Ah, yes, stop distracting yourself.'

I mean, some spiders can be cute, seen from a distance, a lot of distance, like Hiro, a little jumping spider my brother had years ago, somehow, he managed to teach him to dance, it was adorable how he would lift and shake some of his little legs like he was greeting the world, sadly Hiro died years ago, at the young age of one year and five months, he still has a little grave my brother made for him in the garden back home.

But it took me months to get used to Hiro, having a spider around terrifies me, even though I know it's not a dangerous species, the way they move all those legs gives me the creeps.

But flies are another story, even if they can't bite or sting, I hate those little things full of disease and dirt that usually land on garbage and then try to land on your food. 'Sorry, I know you're just trying to live your life, but DIE!'

We both watch as, without any intervention on my part and in the blink of an eye, a sphere of darkness appears around the fly, trapping it, and before we can react, said sphere compresses until it completely disappears, leaving as fast as it came, taking the fly with it.

"..."

"..."

"T-the food is ready." I announce.

Although this is perhaps the thing I've done with my darkness that I've enjoyed the most, I'll pretend I didn't see anything, I'm mentally exhausted from talking so much today, so let's worry about that later.

"Hey, when are you going to visit my aunt and uncle?" Asks Nicole from the table where she is resting.

We've both finished eating and now I'm doing the dishes. I pause my hands for a moment as I think, I still have to help the sisters with their restaurant.

"Mmm, in a few days, I guess"

"You should go as soon as possible, but first stop by the castle. Someone has a job for you"

"What, who?"

"The Dark Brotherhood, I imagine they need your magic for something"

"Aren't they dangerous, why are you so relaxed?"

"You can count on Ilona, I'll also help you if they make trouble, I doubt they'll ask you to do anything dangerous, besides they pay well"

"Very well, I'll go"

"Oh? You just agreed?"

"Well..."

Dad, Mom, my sisters, my brother, my grandfather, Nicole's parents, neighbors who are like family, and others I must be forgetting.

'Right, there's also Kai... ri... oh yes, we don't talk to each other anymore...' but I'll buy her something just in case, I answer Nicole in a slightly sad mood.

"I'll have to buy a lot of presents. I haven't saved much"

"Mm, well, you haven't seen them for ages, and the one who leaves home has to bring souvenirs to the ones who stay, that's a good motivation I guess, anyway, I'm tired, so good night"

"Hm? It's not good to eat too much before bed"

"But eating made me sleepy..."

“Sometimes you're like a child, well, I'm not one to say. Here, at least finish the dishes for me before you go to sleep"

"Fine..."

I leave her to it as I leave the kitchen, today was too stressful for my shut-in mind, I need to relax... a hot bath in the tub sounds good.

This time I don't even bother making excuses, I strip in the living room, put all my clothes in the laundry room, stretch my arms and make circles with my wrists, stretch my legs, back, hips, side to side, lean forward and stretch my tail. Then I take my time going upstairs to my bathroom and enjoy the nice cool breeze on my skin...

And the wonderful, liberating feeling that never dies, of not having to hide anything, of letting everyone (even if no one is looking) see every bit of my skin, my good genes, my effort and my pride, since it is perhaps the only one of my own... that sounds very sad, I am sure there is another source of pride somewhere else, I just haven't found it, or thought about it... yes.

After preparing the tub and washing my body and hair in the shower, I finally get in.

"Mmh~ Haaah~"

Soaking in warm water after a stressful day is really restorative, that amazing feeling that you're coming back to life...

And... there it is, it takes a little while, but when my tail fur soaks up enough water, it finally reaches my skin, giving me a second jolt of pleasure.

"Mmm, mmh... bartsu... quifcarva wehlapri..."

While I am singing songs that might not exist, I realize that I forgot to take a towel with me, I don't mind being naked at home, but getting the floor wet is another thing, uh, wait, I can dry myself with magic, I usually forget that, but I don't want to sleep all fluffed up again, sure, I could practice a lot to get it right, but I don't want to, maybe it's easier with darkness? Maybe later.

Mmm, let's see...

With the same feeling as when I use my darkness, I easily manage to pick up what's in my room, there's... bed, shoes, shelves, books, photos, another fly!? Disappears... clothes, more clothes, much more clothes, underwear, more underwe- huh? When did I buy that? how erotic, maybe I'll wear it soon... and, there it is!

Towels, I take a couple and concentrate on bringing them near the bathtub.

I see like a little... how to describe it, mist? No, a cloud of darkness, bring me some towels, great hehe.

As tedious as it is, I've come to really like the task of drying myself, rubbing every part of my body, admiring the results of years of taking care of it, especially my shoulders, firm but soft breasts, flat yet soft stomach, crotch with a nice bush on top that I actually wish was more prominent for some reason, anyway, my firm and sexy big proud and with too many adjectives heart-shaped butt. Finally, my beautiful legs with soft but strong thighs.

Followed by my long brown hair that reaches down to my butt, I love to dry it slowly while losing track of time, using a smaller towel for my ears, being even more careful, especially with the sensitive tips and the white fluffy ball inside.

Now the longest part, my tail, I start with the base of a brown color just like my hair and slowly move to the snow-white tip that I inherited from my mom...

Finally, I stop concentrating on drying myself and focus my attention on the softness, rubbing my face, neck, nape, back... my arms, armpits, sides, my waist... my hips, crotch, bottom... my legs and finally my feet. Somehow, I have come to perceive drying myself as a pleasurable, intimate and private act with myself, even more than the bath itself, where I can take care of my body and at the same time admire the texture of the towel.

Which, by the way, this pink towel is amazing, big, fluffy, super absorbent, thick but not heavy, soft as can be and...

It was also incredibly expensive, one gold coin and five silver coins, or three thousand carions, the common currency of the kingdoms of Ciren and Carian, had I used paper money. Three days of work just for the towel, I remember Nicole scolding me for wasting money until I lent it to her... Ha.

Once I'm dry, I take a brush that I keep behind my bathroom mirror and start gently combing through my hair, detangling and smoothing it, using my fingers to feel the results of the conditioner... combing the fur around my ears is something I'm still working on, I haven't found a good brush for it, so I do it with my usual one, very gently. When I'm done, I'm left with perfectly straight hair, though I know it won't be long before it returns to its usual wavy appearance.

I take another brush, brushing my tail is one of my favorite parts, the shine that appears after each brush is... How do I describe it? Almost intoxicating to watch. It could be my inner narcissist talking, but I love the look of my tail.

'Well, let's get on with it, I've taken too long, will Nicole be asleep by now?'

I go to my room and grab a simple bra and some white boyshorts type panties for a change, not my favorite but I like the feel of them wrapping around my hips. I go to my cousin's room. I find her... Ah, wow, lying on her stomach, legs spread, only a thin layer of cloth hiding her modesty, she must have moved around a lot trying to find a comfortable position.

“... Nicole?” I ask after a few minut- seconds of admiring the view.

"Mmh..."

Her typical response when she's about to fall asleep, although I'm surprised she's still awake, I've been in the bathtub... an hour and a half?

"Can't sleep?"

"... Nh"

"Something bothering you?"

“All the work I'll have to do tomorrow... I'm very sleepy, but when I close my eyes, I think of something else I'll have to do...”

"Oh, uh, well, let me help you sleep, but first do you want anything? water, milk, toilet?"

"I'm fine..."

"If you say so, then..."

I climb onto her bed, gently nudging her to roll onto her side, she does, then I lie on my side, behind her, one of my legs over hers, guiding her tail to wrap around my belly, at the same time using mine to wrap around hers, using my arm as a pillow as I hug her with the other, then pushing her head to my chest so she can hear my heartbeat.

A blanket? It's summer, but it could be cold in the early morning, so I make a cloud of darkness bring me a thin blanket, with which, for now, I just cover our feet.

It's the warmest and safest feeling I've ever had, mom used to do this for me a lot, but when I was a teenager, it got too embarrassing at some point, so I asked her to stop, and by the time it no longer felt weird to me, then the embarrassing part was asking her to do it again.

When I notice that she relaxes in my embrace, I give the final stroke, start caressing her head and start whispering a song to her.

Somehow, I didn't feel like singing the usual lullabies when a rhythm popped into my head....

"... ~ ...Time is an illusion... that helps things make sense..."

I don't feel like it's a lullaby, but it gives me a very nice reassuring feeling, like when you feel like everything is wrong, but someone you trust comforts you by telling you that everything is going to be okay.

"... And so... you and I will always be best friends..."

A few minutes later, I lift my head a little and turn my attention back to my cousin, and, mm, yes, she is asleep.

"Good night... chuu." I kiss her cheek and wish her sweet dreams in my mind.

Eh, maybe this wasn't the best idea, if I move now, I might wake her up, oh well, we'll sleep together tonight then.

...

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