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Rebuilding Soul – A Fox Girl’s Journey To Feel Alive Again

Chapter 22 / 122

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Chapter 18. The first step. Goodness is not a destination we arrive at, but a practice.

Rebuilding Soul – A Fox Girl’s Journey To Feel Alive Again

Lance...

The mansion is almost abandoned, I could feel a lot of open doors and clutter everywhere, actually I didn't notice it before because only an idiot would sneak into a house through the front door, but it's also ajar.

And yet, here's Lance.

I climbed up to his window and got in, I didn't even have to use magic until I had to go through the window. The disadvantages of having walls with baroque, I suppose, there is a lot to hold on to.

He's sleeping.

He has a blanket covering his lower half, but his torso is bare, you can see a lot of bruising on his skin, mostly on his stomach.

His chest doesn't look any better, as he has a bandage around his chest and over his shoulder... That's for broken ribs.

His face was not spared, it's worse. Both eyes are purple and swollen, his nose is broken and twisted, there are bruises on his cheeks and cheekbones, his mouth is slightly open so you can see he's missing several teeth...

He also has a helmet-like bandage covering his head, also wrapping his neck, which I sense is more or less useless. It looks like whoever attended to his wounds only knew the basics, disinfected and bandaged him, but in a very simple way.

... The sight leaves me paralyzed for a few minutes.

Not because I haven't seen injured people before, of course, but because... I want to heal him. I feel the same way I did when I was healing the bodies of those mutilated people.

But why? Isn't he a bad person? Hmm. He did despicable things, but for some strange reason I don't feel like he's a bad person. Does that make sense? I'm confused...

But my instincts haven't been wrong so far. If I leave him here, it'll be on my conscience.

You know what? I'll let him answer himself.

First, I create a bar of solidified darkness to block the door, it has two big handles, so it's easy. Just in case any of the few residents happen to show up.

Then I put my hand on his chest... 'Oh, silly me, softer.' I think after hearing the small crack of a broken rib, still asleep, he winces for a moment.

Mmm... If it turns out that my instincts have failed me, it would be bad if it suddenly attacks me, so I won't heal him completely, at least for now.

Let's see... Ugly big bruises all over his legs, torso, face and back... Let's remove the ones on his torso first, they look more dangerous. Let's drain the blood, back to where it should be, repair the blood vessels and finally relax the tissue and skin, then heal it back to normal. And some general regeneration in the area, why not?

Ouch... He also has some internal bleeding. Small but concerning, especially the one on his stomach, which has a lot more blood around it than it should...

That needs to be completely healed.

His ribs... They didn't pierce anything, they're just broken... Cracked, rather, 'incomplete fracture.' Whatever, I guess I'll heal them or they won't let him take proper breaths, which will make him unable to speak properly.

He can survive without his teeth, but I imagine it will be a bit unpleasant to listen to, so let's fix them too... Mmm... they were pulled out by the roots, there's nothing to regenerate... Maybe this will work... I'll try, magic can work small miracles.

I could just use more magic to finish faster, but I think it's better to do things nice and slow if there's time. When the darkness is done healing the worst part of his torso, it crawls to his mouth, then I cut off a piece of his tooth. I regenerate more and more tissue on that piece as I mentally knead it into the shape of the missing tooth and let the magic connect it to his gums, nerves, ligaments... It worked. Huh...

Oh well, I'm not a researcher, I don't care about the technicalities, as long as it works. In my opinion, some expensive potions that achieve almost the same effect are rarer.

I repeated this with several of his teeth until only one gap remained... But that didn't feel quite right, even though it worked. Let me see... Even if they don't regenerate naturally, the body knows how to create them, it should work with a little help. I move darkness into the last empty space, and this time I simply imagine a new tooth growing ...

It works, even better than how I did it the first time. Huh, it even connected on its own, makes sense, I think. It also created the enamel without any problems, despite being somewhat inorganic.

'Oh well, that's convenient, maybe I should trust my magic more and not worry so much about the little details.'

I also need to heal his black eyes; I hardly recognized him as they are so swollen that he can't open them. This is easy, it will heal itself, I just speed things up.

Then his nose, it will keep attracting my attention if I don't. I just do the usual, this time thinking about how his pain receptors ignore that part. So, I can straighten his nose without waking him. So far, he has been in constant pain and what I am doing reduces it, but this time the treatment would cause more pain.

When I'm done, all that's left is the head... Normally you would start here, but I didn't feel he was in any danger.

Let's see... Yes, indeed, the bandage on his head is completely useless, in fact, it makes it worse, as there should never be bandages on the neck, they could stop you from breathing.

He has hematomas inside... 'Brain contusion', his brain also feels a bit swollen... 'Edema.'

'I'm not interested in names, just how to cure it.'

Fortunately, his brain itself seems fine, with plenty of rest it would heal itself in... a few weeks? Yeah. I'm not sure I want to mess with his head too much, so I'll just drain the blood and general regeneration will have to suffice for the most important thing.

First, I remove the useless helmet-shaped bandages... Which for some reason I keep insulting in my head, why? Maybe because they are often seen in stories, although they are almost never used in real life, at least not like this. Maybe for first aid or something.

'How do I know that...? Meh, it's too late to question these things now.'

I close the small cuts, I guess bandages do help with that, but a simple small patch does a much better job.

I lead the darkness towards his head, oddly enough, I didn't have to think about what to do this time. I feel the pressure release in his skull... huh, that's new. Works for me.

I summon more darkness to cleanse him, me again (because why not?) and the room, which smells of isopropyl alcohol and blood... And it also smells a little like... Apple blossom. Eh, not the scent I expected to find in his room, but it gives me a break.

At some point in the treatment, his complexion and breathing became much more normal. But I need a few minutes to calm down and think a bit before I wake him up and talk to him.

All right, I'm ready, I get up from the chair where I've been thinking about what to ask him and walk over to wake him up.

I stop my hand... which is clenched into a fist, ready to hit him.....

What was I about to do!? Shaking him a little to wake him up is enough... So far, I'm thankful for my new improved instincts, but I can't wait to get those violent impulses under control.

I check again to make sure he's okay, his muscular body looks healthy overall, if it weren't for the slightly bloody bandages that are still poorly placed on his torso. Although I decided to heal his ribs, I left most of his smaller bruises and hematomas, making sure they weren't dangerous, of course, but I'd better restrain him while I wake him up so he doesn't make any sudden movements. Just in case.

I conjure up some darkness and lay it over him to hold him down. Just enough, around his neck, shoulders, waist, wrists, knees and ankles. Like a black blanket with holes over him. Uncomfortable, but I'll remove it when he wakes up. Even though he'll lose it soon, this is still his home, I have no right to do this to him... But the situation is complicated, I guess.

"Lance... Lance, please wake up"

I shake his arms to wake him up, after a little effort he does.

I was ready to tighten his restraints, but he just lies there. He opens his eyes, then opens them wide for a moment, but lets out a sigh and his body relaxed on the bed.

"Lance"

When I call out to him, he opens his eyes and tries to look in my direction, with his neck still pressed in place, it doesn't squeeze him, but it doesn't allow him to get up either.

"You are... Seina?" It was a question, but doesn't feel like one.

"Yes, good night, uh, um, I... tied you to your bed so you wouldn't attack me, but I don't think you will, um, s-sorry, I know I shouldn't ask you anything since I invaded your room and all, but... If I let you go, will you promise not to attack me? I'd like to talk to you"

Phew... I was prepared, but this is exhausting... I can't help but put myself in his place. Suddenly someone wakes me up in my own room, I can't move, she tells me that she tied me to the bed and makes me promise not to attack her... It's not something I'm proud of, but it can't be helped, better to end this as soon as possible.

It makes me feel very bad, if there is a next time, I will not let anyone convince me to do something like that so easily. There are circumstances that I want to explain to him as soon as possible so that he doesn't assume the worst of me.

“... I promise you, it's not like I could, I'm in pain all over,” oh, at least he looks very calm.

"Okay. Oh, don't move, I healed you for the most part, but you still have some wounds that will get worse if you move"

"Yeah, I know, I can feel it"

I undo the magic and it vanishes into thin air. He keeps his word and doesn't move, just turns his head so he can see me head on. Then he observes my whole body carefully... But not in a weird way, more like concerned.

"Sorry for ordering my... My family's men to kill you, all the pain in my throat made me act out of desperation"

"..."

He apologized...

"Shouldn't you ask what I'm doing here first?"

"Oh, yes, I'd like to know- cof cof... But I had to apologize first, those guys always exaggerate my orders, so I don't know what I was thinking when I told them to kill you"

"Well... I'm fine, um, let me tell you what I'm doing here before I continue, otherwise I won't be able to calm down"

"Go ahead"

"Alright... In short, the Dark Brotherhood found some, uh, shady stuff on your family, they're investigating it, so they assigned me to come to this supposedly abandoned mansion to look for something that might be useful against you"

"..." He looks up at the ceiling. I continue.

“Although it wasn't necessary, as apparently, they will soon condemn your family, but the job was already on the table, so they offered it to me anyway. So, I came, but I found you here and... I don't know why, but... I felt like healing you, even though you've done bad things, so here we are"

His eyes widen when I mention that he has done bad things.

"Bad things?"

... Really? I'll begin my interrogation then.

“Are you seriously asking? First of all, I heard that you harassed Sarisa and Lenna to become your maids, that you tried to ruin their business, and I myself saw you come and destroy their restaurant... OH! I also remember that you slapped Sarisa and tore her skirt off!"

My voice got louder and louder, I hope no one heard me, but I don't care now.

"..."

"... You don't say anything?"

"No... I... You're right, I did terrible things, didn't I?"

"..."

"They will sound like excuses... Maybe they are... But I never meant to hurt them”

"Mh?"

"You see, when I first met them, I was fascinated by them... Sarisa has this spirited and a bit childish attitude, but she's still very kind and tender... The kind of woman you want to fulfill her every whim, since you know she deserves it and won't abuse it”

I completely understand and agree, but I'll keep quiet for now, he hasn't said anything to justify himself yet.

"As for Lenna, I haven't really talked to her much, she always looks at me like I'm trash, but she still did her best when I ordered some food, like saying that even if she doesn't like me, I'm a customer so she's going to give me the best service. That responsible and dedicated part of her captivated me in her own way..."

"I totally understand you... I mean, go on"

"Not to mention the looks of both of them, a voluptuous and seductive body on one side and a fit and practical body on the other, they are the two sides of a beautiful coin... And most importantly, her elf ears, long and pointy, you have no idea how much I wanted to nibble on them..."

I think there's something wrong with what he's saying, but without realizing it, I nod my head at what he's saying, my anger slowly fading...

"I needed them to be my wives, since then I could never imagine myself with anyone else... But when I asked my father for advice... He beat me and told me that he wouldn't accept anyone below a marquess’s daughter as a daughter-in-law.

"..."

"My... Father never changes his mind about anything, and his word is law in this house. He would never let me marry any of them, so I tried the next best thing and made them my servants, and then my concubines"

...That's the next best thing? How about... leaving home and working for yourself? He has the body and talent to be a good adventurer or knight. He could also force his father to accept them somehow, or... Eh. Wait, why am I thinking about this? They don't even want to be with him, let alone talk about marriage.

'Stop distracting yourself, me. Focus.'

"Unfortunately, all the men who follow me around are controlled by my father. My first plan was to be direct, ask them to become mine, I even showed them how much money I had, leaving big tips and mentioning that I could buy thousands of restaurants a thousand times better than theirs without any problem"

"... Mh?”

"They seemed to dislike me even more since then, I didn't get it... Isn't it good for a man to have a lot of money? Since that didn't work, I tried another way, I ordered my- my father's men to find every supplier of ingredients they had and pay everything for them. and do you know what happened?"

"... What?

"They decided that those orders were not worthy of the son of the house, and after consulting with my father, he ordered them to do the usual and not bother him, then they threatened the suppliers to give them everything for free... Almost all of them went to another city, the rumor also spread and basically the sisters ended up having to buy all the ingredients at the market at high prices themselves...”

"And you didn't do anything?"

"I didn't find out until the day the fight broke out"

"... I heard that you yourself threatened them to become your servants"

"Well, yes, I failed to seduce them, so someone recommended that I show them my influence and power, I told them that I could make them close their restaurant, even someone uneducated must understand that someone like that must have a lot of influence, right? They sure were impressed, haha- cof cof, or so I thought”

"... Why did you destroy the restaurant?"

"Ah? Obviously, those old chairs and tables would fall apart on their own sooner rather than later. My plan was foolproof, I would show them my influence again by destroying the place without any repercussions from the guards, I would also show them my wealth by giving them new and luxurious furniture"

"Then why did you hit her and tear off her skirt!?"

"Let me finish, that was my third plan, to show her my physical strength, to let her see that I'm not just a rich and handsome guy, but also a good fighter. But I got carried away, I admit it, I acted too much like my father and ended up hitting her... Still, I came up with a way to make the best of it, if I apologized later and gave her some good compensation money, she would be impressed and touched to see that I was able to admit my mistake!"

"WHAT KIND OF STUPIDITY AM I LISTENING TO!?" Screw if anyone listens to me! My ears are almost bleeding from listening to so much rambling! This guy is just a spoiled brat after all!

"W-wait, Seina, I-"

"SHUT UP, YOU IDIOT! PEOPLE DON'T REACT THE WAY YOU WANT THEM TO, THEY HAVE THEIR OWN THOUGHTS!"

"I KNOW! I-I know, I... I know now... Please let me speak!"

"F-fine"

"Thanks… I've been a blind man all my life... I thought it was just a matter of, I don't know... Taking another route to get them, like they were a trophy... I never thought about how they saw me... Sure, my father's men made things worse, but I was always the one who initiated everything"

"..."

"I want to apologize, I really want to stand in front of them, put my forehead on the ground and do whatever they want me to do to make them forgive me... But upon reflection, I understand that what they want most is for me to get the hell away from them... Not that I have any trouble doing that, they'll probably execute me soon"

"You never realized that what you were doing was wrong?"

"I knew it from the beginning." He answers without a second thought. "From the first time they saw me with that look of theirs, like I was a... Criminal... I wanted to leave them alone, but something told me that... I don't know, that... If I insisted or looked for another way, I'd get it. At first it was about those two. But then something changed"

"... What?"

"It wasn't just about getting their hearts anymore, it was about outdoing my father, about giving firmer orders than him, about imposing more than him... I lost sight of my original goal... I became a complete bastard, sinking lower and lower and lower. Several times I thought about stopping, but I thought that in the end, when I reached my goal, I could fix what I broke"

"..."

I wonder why... Something in his story sounds familiar... This time I speak.

"You thought it was worth it, that the evil you did was... necessary?"

"Exactly! But only when I was forced to stop, I realized what I was doing... And my mind... exploded with regret...”

This conversation makes no sense... I want to hit him, but I can't... He clearly regrets what he did and admits that he was the worst... But is that enough? I don't think so, or is it? I don't know... Is that why I felt that I had to heal his wounds even though he did terrible things...? He's not a bad guy, just an idiot who got mowed down by his environment?

In my uncertainty, a few words echo clearly in my mind.

'Give him the same chance she gave you.'

All right.

"Enough... Do you know where any important documents are that your father didn't take? That would help so they wouldn't treat you the same as the rest, I think”

"Ha! Actually, yes, my father beat me to a pulp for giving the castle an excuse to investigate further. I understood then that there was no place for me in this family. And I was right, I mean, look at me, I was abandoned here..."

"Eh... I feel sorry for you"

"No, I'm glad, it's annoying that it was my father who made the first move, but I'm glad that I don't belong to that damn family anymore. Anyway, my father is stupid enough not to check the contents of his cargo in his haste to get back to the county. With the help of the few loyal servants I have, we hid a lot of evidence"

"That sounds great. What kind of evidence?"

"Well... I don't quite know, my people had already started getting things, months before I asked them to. But I remember there are letters with other nobles and merchants, invoices, contracts and a lot of documents that I don't want to bore you with"

"Sounds good"

"I don't know how much it will help, though"

"I think it will be fine... Where?"

"I can guide you there, my lady" interrupts an older woman dressed as a maid... Eh, where did she come from? Oh, there's an open door at the side of the room, it blends into the wall.

'Besides... She called me 'my lady'... I like the sound of it for some reason... Hey! Concentrate.'

"And why would you do that?"

"Everyone here understands that helping is the young master's only chance to avoid death. He may not know it, but the crimes of his family are more serious than he thinks..."

"Kari... How much have you heard?" asks Lance.

"Since the esteemed guest started screaming, the others are behind that door... Forgive our impertinence in eavesdropping." She bows.

"No problem..." Lance replies, looking strangely peaceful... Which gives me an idea.

"Hey, Lance... If you were to set free, what would you do?"

"..."

"Wouldn't you want to be an adventurer or something?"

"No, despite the facts, I never liked violence, you know?"

"Who could have known... But that's better. Do you like animals?"

"Ah? Well, who doesn't? I was never allowed to have pets, but I took care of the horses when I had the chance"

"I know of an animal shelter that could really use the help of someone strong, are you interested?"

"... I'm not a nobleman anymore, but even if I were, that sounds pretty good, yeah"

"It's settled then, I don't think my word will carry much weight in the castle... But I'll try to help you. Oh, by the way, if you get out of here, a word of advice, the manager of that place is kind enough to hire you, but strict and ruthless enough to throw you out on the street if you don't work"

"I understand. Thank you for trying... Why the change of heart? You seemed to really want to kill me a while ago"

Did I really? I approach him again to finish healing him completely, while thinking about his question...

"I wonder too... See you later"

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