The statue idea was still plausible.
I just needed a different design. Something that wasn’t human.
But at this point, I suddenly found myself stuck.
I had absolutely no idea what kind of design would actually work on goblins.
Think about it.
Goblins were monsters.
They weren’t humans, so there was no reason to assume they would share human values, aesthetics, or ideas about authority. I had no idea what kind of creature they would willingly submit to, or what kind of figure they might instinctively respect.
Perhaps a super-bulky, muscular goblin with eight-pack abs and a gigachad kind of face?
Or maybe a tall, slender, intimidating shaman covered in strange tribal ornaments?
It could even be a sexy and busty goblin queen to activate their lust!
Or...
Maybe I was overthinking it.
Perhaps a simple, ordinary goblin would work just fine?
Yeah... I could give him a much bigger club and a gigantic ham leg to represent his love of food and strength.
"Ah... man. I really don’t know..."
The only way to find out was to experiment, good old-fashioned trial and error.
The problem was that... every experiment cost Points though.
A lot of Points.
Considering how expensive custom statues were, I could easily burn through several hundreds, or even thousands of Points just trying different designs.
Not to mention, there was no guarantee the statue idea would even work in the first place.
Still, whether or not my plan worked, there was two thing I knew for certain.
One: I needed Points. Lots of them.
And two: I needed to figure out how to get my citizens if I wanted to progress.
And so, my daily routine continued.
Generate Points.
Feed the animals whenever I felt like it.
Then deal with any goblins foolish enough to wander into my territory.
All the while, I carefully observed their behavior, hoping to discover something that could give me a clue about what they actually respected.
But so far, aside from their absolute obsession with steak, I hadn’t found anything else.
*****
But then, a few weeks later, something completely unexpected happened.
This time, not one, not two, but an entire army of goblins was approaching my castle!
More than thirty of them marched toward me, brandishing crude spears, clubs, and all kinds of makeshift weapons.
Some even carried burning torches as they swarmed toward my castle, shouting and snarling with raw fury.
Worse still, there were two particularly large goblins who were nearly twice the height of the others.
They carried massive stone hammers and looked far more muscular and intimidating than the rest, with white chalk painted across their faces in fierce, claw-like patterns.
Hmmm...
Are those evolved goblins that become stronger as they level up? Or some kind of special elite type?
Either way, the sight sent a brief chill through my stone foundations.
It reminded me of those old fantasy stories where an evil lord hides inside his castle while an angry mob gathers outside to storm his fortress.
Except, well...
I wasn’t Dracula.
And my angry mob was made up of green goblins instead of pitchfork-wielding villagers.
Of course, I couldn’t understand what they were shouting. I didn’t speak Goblish.
But I could make a pretty good guess about what they wanted.
Did they somehow find out that I killed their kin?
But how?
Every time I killed a goblin, I made sure not a single one escaped.
And as they say, dead men tell no tales.
Surely a dead goblin couldn’t warn the others...
Right?
Unless...
Wait.
Did the dead goblins turn into ghosts and return to their tribe to rat me out?!
Yeah, that’s ridiculous.
Probably not.
Another possibility was that they had some kind of tracking ability.
Now that I think about it, goblins do have unusually large noses.
Could they have an incredible sense of smell, like dogs?
Can they smell the blood of their own kind? The ones I mercilessly killed?
...
That was a deeply disturbing thought.
Or perhaps I’d simply been careless, and one of the goblins had witnessed everything without me noticing through the trees.
Either way, none of that mattered right now.
The real question was...
What the hell am I supposed to do about this?
Should I try to bribe all of them with food and hope for the best? Maybe they’d forgive me and accept my offer of citizenship?
Or should I keep my gates shut tight and do nothing, waiting for them to eventually get tired and leave?
But before I could decide...
The goblins attacked!
The two muscular goblins wielding the massive stone hammers charged forward first, unleashing thunderous war cries that echoed through the clearing.
The rest followed close behind in a chaotic wave, rushing toward my castle with wild abandon.
I braced myself for impact.
As they reached the castle, the two giants raised their enormous hammers and slammed them against my iron gate with all their strength.
Oh shit!
I need to come up with a defense plan.
Fast!