I woke up like someone had jabbed me with a cattle prod. My tiny raccoon heart pounded like crazy. I felt like I was about to go in for the first kiss of my life.
God, what an awful thing to remember. I haven't thought about that day in… decades. What was her name…. Catherine?
I hastily pushed that unsavory thought aside and glanced around the dark cabin. Moonlight was coming through the curtains. The clock said 12:03 a.m.
Fantastic, it's the middle of the night. My sleep schedule is completely screwed. Or is it? Raccoons are night creatures, right? Maybe this is just how things work now.
I could embrace the whole nocturnal thing. But Shelly was definitely a morning person. She was always up with the sun, fussing over her plants or practicing whatever druid stuff she did. If I went full night owl, I'd never see her.
Screw that. I'll fight my new raccoon wiring and stick to human hours. Seeing more of Shelly is worth being tired. First though, I have to go.
My bladder was killing me. I had to piss so bad my eyes were watering. I scrambled off the recliner. That was when the blanket Shelly had apparently put on me tried to murder me. The thing wrapped around my paws like it had a personal vendetta.
I quickly untangled myself and kicked at the blanket before waddled toward the toilet. The bathroom looked miles away so I hurried as fast as I could. Once I reached it, the bathroom turned out to be a pleasant surprise.
I couldn't help but stare at the thing sitting on the toilet. It was just a plastic mixing bowl, one of those cheap, wide, white ones that I rarely used. However, Shelly had flipped it upside down and carved an oval out of the bottom.
The cut edges were a little uneven, but it looked like it would work. It fit snugly on the seat, turning the gaping adult‑sized opening into something toddler‑sized and surprisingly sturdy.
It looked ridiculous, sure, but also weirdly clever, the kind of solution you only invent when you’re tired, desperate, and out of options. Still, I appreciated it. What was also worth mentioning was that she also placed a step stool next to the towering toilet.
Unfortunately, it was too late to save the shredded shower curtain. I looked at it and sighed.
Good thing Shelly made it easy for me, I thought. If she didn't, I probably would've just pissed on the floor.
Now I didn't have to worry about making one wrong move and I'd end up swimming in toilet water. Shelly would have had to fish me out.
Talk about embarrassing. The humiliation would've killed me.Nothing says 'sexy mysterious spirit' like getting rescued from the crapper.
I managed to do my business without getting any on the white bowl contraption, which felt like winning the lottery. I made a mental note to ask for something better. Even though I appreciated what she did, it just didn't feel right.
After that, I eyed the sink. A bath sounded good, really good in fact. The sink was something I could reach without help, which I was suddenly grateful for. Relying on others had always been one of my weaknesses.
I climbed up and turned on the faucet. Warm water started to fill the basin. I dipped a paw in to test the water, then tried to ease into the sink.
That was my plan, but it didn't work out like I had hoped. Instead, my foot slipped on the wet marble and I ended up falling flat on my back. I tried not to make any noise, though, since I didn't want to wake Shelly up.
Once I was in the water, it felt amazing. For a few minutes, I pretended I was at some fancy place instead of washing in a sink like some bum.
"Take that, Four Seasons," I muttered. I splashed around a little. I am the king of the sink.
My stomach started growling, far too loudly for such a small body. I glared down at it and even hit it a little with my paw. Shut up.
It didn't listen to me so I reluctantly climbed out the sink. I knew I should have cared that water went everywhere, but I didn't. Instead, I grabbed the guest towel. Luckily, Shelly must have replaced it after I passed out.
Either she was psychic or she was just really thoughtful. Considering what she had done with the toilet, I knew which to believe.
Definitely thoughtful, I thought as I dried off. After that, I wrapped the towel several times around my waist, mostly out of habit.
Huh, a raccoon in a towel. If that isn't ridiculous, I didn't know what was.
Back in the living room, I hit the jackpot. Shelly had left a whole spread on the coffee table. Fruit mostly, and there was even popcorn.
Next to the plate was a note in her neat handwriting: "Thought you might be hungry when you wake up. The cucumbers are an experiment. My mentor says raccoons have weird taste preferences. Sweet dreams! -S"
If I thought I had a snowball's chance in hell, my heart would've been doing backflips. As it was, I decided just to enjoy the food.
I started with a cherry. The thing exploded in my mouth like a flavor grenade. It was sweet, tangy, and perfect. It made me close my eyes and savored the flavor. "Holy shit," I mumbled, reaching for a grape.
Everything tasted amazing. Just like my hearing and smell, my sense of taste had also improved. It probably had something to do with taste being associated with smell, but whatever the reason, the food tasted delicious.
I'd eaten vegetables in the past because I knew they were good for me. After eating the grapes and berries, meat didn't sound good at all. It took me a moment to realize that I'd started making embarrassing noises.
Then I tried the cucumber, which was a big mistake. It wasn't just bland. It was godawful. I'd never tasted anything that bad before. I wanted to spit it out immediately.
God, I want to sandpaper my tongue now.
It was as if the cucumber had deliberately decided to offend me. I spat it out so fast I nearly choked.
Is Shelly pissed at me or something?
"Who the hell eats this garbage?" I said, grabbing some popcorn to wash away the cucumber's crimes against my taste buds. The salty crunch was exactly what I needed.
I flopped onto the recliner, still wearing my ridiculous towel, and turned on the TV while mentally moving cucumbers to the top of my hate list, right above my first kiss.
YouTube was playing some new video that caught my attention right away. Some lady with crazy silver hair and enough crystals to open her own shop was waving her hands at the camera. Behind her were shelves packed with books that looked older than dirt, and candles flickering like they were in a haunted house.
"The mana tide has returned!" she announced, like she'd been waiting her whole life to deliver this news.
She kept going, not caring that I was just sitting there gawking at her. "For those just waking up to reality, magic comes and goes like ocean tides. High tide brings dragons, gods, and real magic. Low tide leaves us with card tricks and fortune tellers."
I sat up straighter. This lady was talking about exactly what was happening to me. Despite her appearance, I wondered if she might be on to something.
"We're coming off low tide right now, people, but the mana's rising. Things that have been sleeping since the last big tide are waking up. Old powers are remembering who they used to be. And some..." She paused like she was in a movie. "Some things from other places might see this as their chance to move in."
Not long after that, the video switched to some kind of panel discussion. First up was some nervous kid in professor robes fiddling with his glasses.
Dang, is he old enough to be reporting anything besides his report card grades? Are they letting kids do the news now? Fucking hell, like I should trust some teenager who thinks he knows everything. The smug little bastard.
"The supernatural community has been laying low for good reason," the kid said. "Vampires, werewolves, fairy courts, dragons, they've all been running on empty. But now? We're getting reports of vampires staying awake during the day and werewolves changing whenever they want. Even magic users are saying their power has gone through the roof."
My blood went cold. Dang, the kid might actually know what he is talking about.
I still didn't like him though. Next was a woman dressed like she was headed to a Renaissance fair.
Hmm, it looks like they'll let anyone on television these days. Used to be old men and beautiful young women. Now it's ugly old women. And look at that outfit. Uglier than my ex when she cried.
"The old rules are breaking down," she said, looking very serious about it. "Spirits that were locked up are getting free. Things that got banished are finding ways back. And worse, completely new creatures are being drawn here by all the magical energy."
Then finally someone normal-looking spoke. I didn't even wait for him to speak before I started judging him.
Now there's someone who looks like they should be reporting on current events. Although I bet you're just going to spout whatever the media and the government want us to believe.
"Beacons," the man said. "Anything pumping out pure mana becomes a lighthouse in the magical storm. They attract attention, and not the good kind."
I froze with popcorn halfway to my mouth. I frowned, not sure what was bothering me. It was like a cold finger touching the back of my neck. I could feel my stomach sinking, almost hollowing out.
Even my heart felt like it did a double-step. It was as if a physical weight was settling on my chest. I could sense many eyes locking down on the cabin, making me want to leave it as quickly as possible. I shivered, not liking the feeling.
The video went on with more cheerful news about ancient evils waking up, reality getting thin, and supernatural folks needing to team up or get eaten. By the time it ended, I was twitching like I'd been electrocuted.
That was when the zoomies hit me. I couldn't sit still knowing I was basically a giant neon sign saying 'Free Snacks for Monsters,' so I jumped off the recliner and started prowling the cabin.
My claws clicked on the wood floor, back and forth, as I moved from the kitchen to the living room, around the coffee table, over to the window to stare at the too-quiet forest outside while my brain spun in circles.
Vampires, werewolves, druids, and interdimensional threats were not what I had been expecting to deal with. The fact that I was apparently broadcasting 'All You Can Eat Buffet' to anything with teeth and bad intentions was more than a little unsettling.
That's when I noticed a doggie door in the front door.
Well, look at that. Someone had been busy while I was unconscious, I thought with a smile.
The flap was the perfect raccoon size. I suddenly felt an overwhelming need to go outside and breathe some air that wasn't thick with whatever it was making me twitchy.
But I hesitated. The woods out there were humming with power. If the inside wasn't safe, the outside had to be worse. My gut was doing flips between curiosity and pure terror.
However, fear had never stopped me before. Not when I was human, and definitely not now that I was a talking trash panda.
"Screw it," I said. I tossed my towel aside. "If something wants to make me into dinner, it's gonna have to work for it."
I pushed through the doggie door. The rubber flap smacked my tail on the way out. The second I hit the night air, my senses went crazy. Everything was sharper, brighter and more intense than it had ever been.
This should be interesting, I thought as I started waddling toward the treeline.