Ver didn’t expect it would be so awkward to be in the same room as Victor, but it wasn’t so surprising when he thought about it. In real life, it was rare for him to talk to people other than his family, so it was a given that he didn’t know what he should be doing right now.
Talking online is obviously different from talking in real life. Meeting new people online was easy, and it was never awkward, but that was because most of the time they just played games, and if they talked, it was about the games, so Ver never had a problem with it. However, he and Victor were not doing anything. What should he even do?
Just because I’m good at reading people, like knowing whether they are lying or not, doesn’t mean that I’m good with people. Wait a second, that didn’t make sense. How did I become good at—
The reason he was with Victor was because Kairos told them that Victor should not be alone, right now. Victor was obviously not in the best mental shape, so leaving him with only his thoughts would make his condition worse.
Whether that was true or not, Ver didn’t know. What he did know was that Kairos was obviously much better than him at handling this situation. Kairos was obviously not a psychologist, but he did take care of Lucks since he was a toddler, and he just had that vibe to him that told Ver that he knew what he was talking about.
Norm was busy milking and taking care of the animals so he couldn’t be with Victor all day. The rest of them weren't that close to Victor, so they would probably just make it really awkward.
That just left Ver. Great.
His job—creating milk—was finished in only a couple of minutes. So now, Ver had nothing to do. He couldn’t exactly interact with the world without using mana, and they had agreed not to waste it in case they needed it.
Ver was also Victor’s spirit, and that seemed to make Kairos think they were close, which was not the case.
Thankfully, while Ver was feeling awkward with the situation, Victor surely didn’t. He just lay in bed with his eyes closed, but not sleeping.
I should probably talk to him. But what should I even say? Nice weather? No, that will just make things really awkward. Maybe talk about the current situation?
(They say they found a lot of rotting dead bodies in the mansion. Do you know what’s all that about?)
For a conversation starter, Ver thought he did pretty good. It was perfectly natural, and Victor could answer it without any problem.
“Hmm? Oh, that. Garron used those for his experiments. I think he thought they were still alive and leveling or something, but they were just undead. He definitely had the [Delusional] Class, but I don’t think he realized it. The first Skill of that Class usually makes the user unaware that they have the Class. They were all dead already before you made a contract with Norm. There is nothing that you could’ve done.”
(Oh.)
The thought of blaming himself didn’t even cross Ver’s mind. It was horrible what happened to those people, but it was quite obvious that they were already dead for a long time. But that said a lot about what kinda person Victor was.
(It’s also not your fault, you know? You tried your best, no one's gonna blame you for it, including Norm.)
Victor snorted, and finally looked at where Ver was. It was understandable, really. Ver was currently in a glass of milk, so Victor couldn’t exactly see him. Besides, he never really understood why you had to look at someone when you were talking to them.
“I’m not kind, Ver. I don't even feel anything when I think about them even though I know what they suffered through.”
The evidence pointed to the contrary, but Ver wouldn’t argue with Victor about it.
His dad had said that all the kindest people he had ever met didn’t think they were good people. Even when his dad argued with them about it, none of them ever seemed to change their minds.
He then concluded that to be a good person, you had to be aware of your own flaws. No matter how kind someone was, it was impossible for them to never do a single bad thing. No one was perfect, after all. It was only his dad’s theory, but Ver thought it made perfect sense.
Ver wasn’t a good person, but even he felt guilty whenever he did something bad. Who knew how a really kind person would feel?
I don’t think we could continue this topic any longer. I have run out of things to say. What should we talk about next?
Asking Victor about the world didn’t seem like a good idea. Victor would probably answer his questions, but whenever Ver was tired, he didn’t want to do any productive thing, like teaching. So it would probably just annoy Victor if he asked that kinda question.
On the flip side, asking useless questions would probably annoy Victor. It would annoy Ver for sure, and even if he knew that he and Victor were different, he didn’t want to take the chance.
I think the topic had to be something that Victor likes or is interested in, but what? I don’t really know him that well; all of our talk had been “productive.” I don’t even know what his dream is; how should I know what—wait, I’m such an idiot.
(You’re Norm’s best friend, right? Can you tell me what kinda person Norm was?)
“Best friend, huh?”
Victor smiled, which made Ver proud of his decision.
I might be talented at this.
“Norm is kind of an idiot, lazy, and sometimes a bit annoying. He is also really stubborn. There was that time when—”
Listening to Victor talk made Ver doubt if he made the right choice. It was good that Victor finally smiled, but…
“—liking the color orange is fine, but isn’t it a bit much? Just look at this room. It looks really ugly.”
After two hours of talking non-stop, Victor finally stopped. It was definitely not because Victor ran out of things to say; Ver wouldn’t be surprised if Victor could talk all day without stopping. It was because Norm was close by.
For some reason, Ver could sense where Norm and Victor were, and how close they were to him. It was like a gut feeling rather than something concrete, but it was always accurate, so Ver trusted it. Besides, it was obvious Norm was nearby from how Victor's face lit up instantly.
“He is a great guy, one with flaws, but a great guy nonetheless.”
(Yeah, yeah, I know.)
Even if what Victor was saying was mostly negative, it was obvious that he thought highly of Norm. From the tone of his voice and the way he talked, it was clear how much Norm meant to him. Besides, it wasn’t like Ver didn’t understand Victor. His family was great, loved them, but they were definitely not perfect. Especially his sister.
“VICTOR! Are you asleep?”
“Look, he could be quite inconsiderate at times. If I was asleep, then there was no way I wouldn’t wake up from how loud he is.”
(Ehem.)
Most of the time when Victor was talking, Ver only said something like yes, ehem, okay, or something along those lines. When talking to someone, not saying anything was one of the worst things that you could do. Even when you were interviewing someone, it wasn’t good to be silent. That didn’t mean you had to interrupt them, just saying something like ‘I see’ and even nodding was enough.
I should probably stop saying one-word answers. It was okay before because Victor never stopped talking, which I’m grateful for. But now that Norm is here, I think it will come off as rude.
(I think he already knew you were not asleep. I don’t know why he asked though.)
“People ask useless questions all the time, Ver. Some people just like making small talk, like talking about the weather or asking about your day.”
(How is the last one considered small talk?)
“Because even if you were having a bad day, the answer is always along the lines of ‘I’m fine.’”
That… was definitely not true. Maybe it was true for someone you were not close with, but for friends and family? Absolutely not. Before Ver could argue with Victor about it, Norm opened the door without even knocking.
“Victor! Kairos said that everyone would be fully healed in three days!”
(Norm is definitely not one for small talk. Maybe he just likes asking useless questions.)
Victor chuckled, and immediately tried to cover up his laugh.
“He just didn’t think too often, Ver. He would always say what was on his mind without thinking things through. No, that’s not true anymore, is it?”
By the end, Victor sounded sad. It was obvious that he had mixed feelings about his friend changing, but Ver didn’t sympathize with him. People changed all the time. That was just life.
(It’s normal for people to change, Vic. Norm will keep on changing as long as he is alive.)
“Yeah, you’re right. But… no, he changed for the better, I have no reason to be sad about it. I was just being selfish. It’s just, changes are scary, even if it is for the better.”
Ver didn’t think Victor was only talking about Norm with that last one. The people around him not being under mind control was a good thing, but Victor had been living like that his whole life. So it was understandable why he was scared, especially because his parents were the cause of all of it.
Or I could just be projecting again. I should just ask him.
“Can you both stop acting like I’m not here? It kinda hurts, you know.”
(Sorry, I forgot that Victor is the only one who could hear me right now.)
Norm rolled his eyes, and sat at the edge of Victor’s bed.
Ver was still getting used to people not being able to hear him unless he established a connection with them. Sometimes, he even forgot to establish a connection with either of them and ended up just talking to himself.
Wait, isn’t that basically the internet? Whatever, I could think about that later. Don’t get distracted, Ver.
(Vic, are you scared about what would come after all of this?)
Victor sighed and plopped down on his bed.
“Yeah, but probably not in the way you think. After thinking for a while, I realized that I don’t really care what people I don’t care about think. Right now, I just don’t know what to do. I don’t have any hobbies, goals, dreams, or even any activities I would enjoy if Norm wasn’t involved in some way. What should I even do with my life? Everything just feels empty.”
That was unexpected, but totally understandable. Considering what Victor’s life had been like, it wasn’t that surprising that he didn’t have anything that he enjoyed doing.
Even with the little information that Ver had, he knew that Victor had been training way too much since he was a kid, and it was obvious that it was not enjoyable at all.
When Victor’s goal to kill his parents and keep Norm safe was achieved, he didn’t have any more reason to keep training, and training was all Victor had been doing his whole life.
“I know that in 24 years, another Demon King will appear, and I need to get stronger to protect everything I care about, but 24 years is a long time. I don’t have the same urgencies like I did before. Maybe that’s why everything just felt empty. I like spending my time with you, Norm, but I have no idea what I want to do.”
They were both silent, listening to Victor speak. Even when one minute had passed and Victor still didn’t continue, they still didn’t say anything.
Ver didn’t really understand Victor all that much, but he knew that Norm did. So he would follow what Norm was doing and let him take the lead.
“Even if I think for a whole year, I don’t think I would find anything that would interest me.”
Ver didn’t really understand what Victor was saying, and he was sure that Norm was too. He wanted to do a lot of things in his life, so it was hard to sympathize with Victor right now.
I really suck at this.
“What’s you guys' dreams or goals? Maybe I could take inspiration from them. Norm, really think about this, your dreams change like every month.”
Norm looked offended, but he didn’t argue about it because Ver guessed it was probably true. Then, Norm started to stroke his non-existent beard for a few seconds and answered Victor’s question.
“I don’t know. I’m pretty happy with my life right now, and I don’t think I have any dreams that I really want to pursue. The only thing I could think of is that I want to create the best milk and give it to you. But that’s not what you're searching for, is it?”
Then both of them looked in Ver’s direction, which made him confused for a second before he realized that they were waiting for him to tell them what his dreams or goals were.
He… never exactly really thought about what he wanted to do with his life. He had dreams, things that he wanted to do, but he never thought that he was able to do any of them.
But now, I’m not as powerless as before.
Being an athlete, a firefighter, a businessman, a teacher, having a pet store, building an amusement park, becoming a mayor; there were a lot of things that he wanted to do. But now that it was possible for him to do these things, he… didn’t know what to choose.
Can I just choose all of them? I can reincarnate over and over again, right?
However, Ver didn’t think that what Victor meant by dream wasn’t ‘jobs’ but more purpose in life. If that was the case, there was only one desire that had been gnawing at him in his entire life; he wanted to make the world a better place.
It was not a simple desire that he could just brush off. Every single day, at the back of his mind, he knew that there was someone out there who was suffering. He wanted to help them, but he literally couldn’t.
Of course he tried with the limited ability he had, like—
Maybe it was because of the internet, suffering and hate got more clicks. But at the end of the day, Ver realized that most if not all just sent a comment or two without doing anything for most things. That was the reason that in his past world—
He felt powerless. He couldn’t do anything. No one was gonna save them. There were only a few people that he could trust. The rest were selfish or weak. That was why he couldn’t give up.
Because if not—
There was only one answer to Victor’s question—
For most of his life, he wanted to save—
Because of what happened in his—
The main goal of his life had been to make the world a better place. Every single day, at the back of his mind, he knew that there was someone out there who was suffering. He was only human. He couldn’t ignore someone in need. Even though he couldn't save everyone, and he was not powerful, rich, or smart, that was no excuse not to try.
Wait, ever since coming into this world, I—
His goal in life had always been—
…
…
…
…
…
…
…
“Ver, are you alright? We were letting you think, but it had been ten minutes.”
Great, I’ve been thinking so long that the person I’m supposed to help is worrying about me. I really suck at this.
(I’m fine. I guess I never really thought about it before, but after thinking it over, I think I just want to make this world a better place.)
It felt great helping people, and it felt horrible when something bad happened to other people. There was always someone who needed help, and even if he couldn’t save them all, he could at least try.
It was a silly goal, he knew, but that was what he genuinely wanted.
“Like helping people and stuff?”
(Yeah.)
Victor looked thoughtful for a moment and then shook his head.
“Why?”
(Because it felt great, and it felt horrible when bad things happened to people.)
It was obvious that Victor was thinking deeply about something, so Ver just waited and didn’t interrupt him. Victor and Norm had waited for him for ten minutes, so it was probably normal for them to wait like this.
Ver frankly found it quite weird, but he didn’t really mind it. Everyone was different, and his brother always said that how you interacted with someone depended on who you were talking to. That didn’t make you fake. It just meant you were being considerate.
After around one minute, Victor finally broke the silence.
“Yeah, I don’t think I could ever feel the same things as you. I’m not a kind person. That is just who I am.”
What Victor said made Ver a bit angry for some reason, but he hid it because this was not the time. Shouting and being mad was not a great way to communicate with someone.
(I think everyone is born kind. The choices you made in your life made you who you are. Even if you don’t care all that much whether someone is suffering or not right now, I'm sure that if you start doing good things, you will start to care.)
Victor raised one of his eyebrows, clearly not believing him.
“You think our personalities are entirely shaped by what we do? Not DNA, or the environment?”
(Yes.)
“So you believe in the philosophy that our actions affect our souls, and our souls affect our personalities, huh?”
That was not what Ver had been thinking when he said that, but after hearing about it, Ver agreed with whatever philosophy that was. Even if he had never heard of it.
(I guess, yeah.)
Victor rolled around on his bed for a couple of seconds, before getting up from the bed and walking towards the door.
“Fine. I could at least try it. It’s not like I can think of anything better to do.”
He then disappeared to who knows where, leaving Ver and Norm behind.
“You read philosophy?”
(Sometimes. But I don’t know the one Victor was saying. It just felt right to me when I heard it.)
“Huh. I didn’t expect that.”
Ver felt offended by that, but since Norm looked like he didn’t mean anything bad by it, Ver let it slide.
Wait, I can read the world’s writing, right? I… am not sure.