The first spider appeared three days after Lusha officially moved into the West Wing.
Hania was lying in her crib, staring at the ceiling, when she felt something tickle her cheek. She turned her head. A small spider sat on her pillow, grooming its front legs.
Huh... Is this one of hers?
The spider finished grooming and started walking toward her face. She tried to roll away, but her baby body had limited mobility. The spider kept coming. It walked right up to her mouth.
She clamped her lips shut. I've heard the myths. You swallow eight spiders a year in your sleep. Well not today, spider. Not. Today.
The spider paused at her lips, as if confused by the barrier. Then it turned and walked across her cheek instead, heading toward her ear.
Oh hell no. She shook her head violently but the spider just held on. It reached her ear and started to crawl inside.
Spiders are always trying to crawl into your ears! I knew it! The myths are true!
"Ah, there you are."
Lusha appeared seemingly out of nowhere, reaching down and plucking the spider from Hania's ear with gentle fingers. "Sorry, little moon. This one's young, still learning boundaries." She held the spider up to her face. "We talked about this. No crawling into the baby's ears. She needs those."
The spider's front legs waved, as if in apology. Lusha set it down on the windowsill, and it scurried away.
She looked back at Hania with an apologetic smile. "They're curious about you. You smell like powerful magic. It's... attractive to them."
That's not reassuring.
"Don't worry. I've told them you're off-limits. Well, mostly off-limits. They can look but not crawl into any orifices."
Mostly?!
"They're children. They don't always listen." Lusha adjusted Hania's blanket. "But they mean no harm. Spiders are secret house guardians, you know. They keep worse things away."
What could possibly be worse than spiders crawling into my ears while I sleep?!
Lusha's smile widened as if she'd heard the thought. "You'd be surprised."
The incidents continued.
Week two: Hania woke up with a spider sitting on her forehead, perfectly still, like it was standing guard.
Week three: She found webbing connecting her crib to the wall in intricate patterns. Lusha explained it was "decorative" and "a sign of affection."
Week four: A spider tried to share her milk. Just walked right up to the bottle and dipped its front legs in.
Every myth about spiders was a warning and I ignored them. I should have believed it and researched them.
But there was one myth Lusha took very seriously. Kofery, in a fit of panic when he saw a spider on Hania's blanket, had tried to swat it.
Lusha appeared instantly and caught his hand before it could make contact. "Don't," she said, "Killing a spider brings bad luck."
"It was on the baby!"
"It was guarding the baby."
"It has fangs!"
"So do I. You don't see me biting anyone." She paused. "Well. Not anyone who doesn't ask nicely."
Kofery's face went red and he fled. Lusha gently relocated the spider to a corner of the ceiling, where it could watch over Hania from a safe distance.
If that's true, then wouldn’t my father be farming bad luck? The master of bad luck. But he doesn’t seem to care.
But that's not it. Life became even more uncertain when for the first time Hania witnessed Lusha's approach to nursery maintenance and questioned everything she thought she knew about childcare.
It was morning. Kofery had just left after the usual feeding routine. The nursery needed cleaning, there were chalk dust footprints on the floor from yesterday's training, some spilled milk, and general baby-related mess.
Lusha walked in, looked at the crib where Hania was lying, and smiled.
"Alright, little moon. Cleaning time."
She reached into the crib and gently picked Hania up. "Now, human parents would probably put you in a bouncer or something equally boring. But we're going to do this properly."
Properly? What does that mean?
Lusha's fingers moved and webbing shot out from her fingertips and attached to the ceiling in multiple points. More webbing followed, weaving together in mid-air to form a hammock suspended about four feet off the ground, right in the center of the nursery.
"There we go," Lusha said cheerfully, placing Hania gently into the web hammock. "Comfortable?"
Hmm... Yeah that’s actually very comfortable.
"Perfect. Now you can watch me work. It's educational!"
Still things left to watch. Well as long as it's entertaining.
Lusha went to the crib and started stripping the bedding. She tossed it into a corner. Then she started webbing. Her hands moved in a blur, shooting out strands of web that attached to every surface of the crib. The webbing wrapped around the bars, the mattress platform, every joint and corner, lifting everything slightly off the ground. Then she shook the webs. The entire crib vibrated. Dust, dirt, and various bits of debris fell out.
That's... actually kind of genius?
Lusha dissolved the webs with a gesture. They turned to mist and evaporated. She moved to the floor next. More webbing shot out, creating a grid pattern across the stone. She pulled it tight, then dragged it across the floor like a giant net, collecting chalk dust, dirt, and anything else in its path. She bundled it all up and tossed it out the window.
She just threw trash out the window.
"Don't worry," Lusha said. "It dissolves before it hits the ground. Very eco-friendly. So... Oh, the walls are next."
The whole process took maybe ten minutes, cleaning the entire nursery to spotless perfection and Hania had watched all of it from her floating web hammock, which was honestly the most comfortable place she'd been in her entire reincarnated life.
"See?" Lusha said, looking up at her. "You got to observe the whole thing. Spatial awareness training."
You just wanted an excuse to web me to the ceiling.
"Maybe." Lusha's smile was unrepentant. "But it worked, didn't it? Room's clean, you're safe and entertained, and Kofery can't complain about my methods because the results are undeniable."
She reached up and gently lowered the hammock, the webbing extending smoothly until Hania was back at normal height. "Though between you and me," Lusha said conspiratorially, "I mostly just like seeing Kofery's face when he walks in and you're suspended in mid-air."
As if summoned, Kofery opened the door. He saw Hania floating in a web hammock in the center of the room. Made a sound like a strangled cat. "LUSHA! Why is the baby in the air?!"
"I'm cleaning. She needs to be somewhere safe."
"You can put her in the crib!"
"The crib isn't clean yet. I just cleaned it."
"Then put her on the floor!"
"The floor was dirty. I cleaned that too. Everything's still damp. The web is the safest, driest place."
Kofery looked around the nursery. It was, spotlessly clean. Cleaner than he'd ever gotten it, even with magic. "What if she falls?!"
"The webbing is stronger than steel. She's not going to fall." Lusha paused. "Unless I want her to. But I don't. So she won't." Lusha dissolved the hammock webbing with a gesture. Hania floated down gently, supported by magic until Lusha caught her and placed her back in the freshly cleaned crib. "See? Perfectly safe. She's fine. The room is clean. Everyone wins."
Kofery stared at her. "I'm telling Master," he said weakly.
"Go ahead. He'll probably say it's efficient."
From that day forward, every time Lusha cleaned, Hania ended up webbed to something. The ceiling. The wall. Once, suspended in the corner of the room in a web cocoon that Lusha swore was "perfectly ventilated and safe."
Kofery complained every single time and Hania secretly enjoyed it every single time. Honestly not the worst way to spend a morning.
It had been two months, the training continued every day. Dravin would carry her to the repaired training room, set her on the floor, surround her with glowing magical formations, and hand her chalk. "Draw," he'd say and then leave.
It was infuriating, but Hania had developed a secret. At night, when Kofery thought she was asleep and Lusha's spiders were watching from the corners, she practiced moving.
Her baby body was slowly getting stronger. Her neck could hold her head up for longer periods. Her arms could push against the floor.
She'd read somewhere, in her previous life, in some parenting book she'd skimmed while procrastinating, that babies learned to roll over around four months. She was two months old.
But I'm not a normal baby, she thought, Normal babies don't have past-life memories or understand magical theory lectures.
She planted her hands on the floor. Pushed. Her body lifted slightly. Then crashed back down.
Ow. She tried again. Push. Lift. Wobble. Crash. This is humiliating. But she kept trying. Every night, every moment she had alone.
Push. Lift. Wobble. Hold for three seconds. Crash. Push. Lift. Wobble. Hold. Hold. FLIP.
She landed on her back, staring up at the ceiling in shock. I actually did it. Take that, developmental milestones.
The spiders in the corners of her nursery all turned to look at her at once. Then they scurried away, presumably to report this to Lusha.
The next morning, during training, Hania decided to show off. Dravin set her on the floor as usual. Handed her the chalk and started to turn away.
She planted her hands. Pushed. Her body lifted.
Dravin paused mid-step, looking back.
She wobbled. Held. Shifted her weight and flipped. She landed on her back with a soft thump, looking up at her father upside-down. TA-DA. Your two-month-old daughter can flip. I'm a genius. Acknowledge me.
Dravin stared at her. She stared back. He walked over. Crouched down and looked at her lying there on her back. "You can flip," he said. "At two months."
I'm very advanced.
He reached down and carefully flipped her back onto her stomach and handed her the chalk again. "Good. Now draw."
THAT'S IT?! THAT'S YOUR ENTIRE REACTION?! I just demonstrated advanced motor control and all you have to say is 'good, now draw'?!
She grabbed the chalk and scribbled an angry line across the floor. Dravin looked at the line. "Your circle is off-center," he said.
It's not a circle! It's rage!
He stood up and walked toward the door. She flipped again. Just to prove she could, to make him look.
He looked. "Efficient," he commented. "But it won't help you draw better circles." and he left.
I hate him so much.
But that night, when Kofery came to collect her, he was bouncing with excitement. "Master told me you can flip! At two months! That's incredible! Most babies can't do that until four or five months!" He picked her up, spinning slightly. "You're amazing, little moon!"
See?! Kofery gets it! Kofery appreciates my genius!
"Master seemed very pleased," Kofery continued. "He used the word 'efficient.' That's high praise from him."
...that was praise?
"Oh yes. When he says something is efficient, it means he's impressed but doesn't want to admit it."
She wanted to say many things or at least protest, but now even her internal thoughts had lost their ability to form properly.