I looked around. The clearing was still empty — no one except the Soldier. He hadn't even moved from his spot. And I looked at him and the pistol in his holster.
Just one shot — that's all. It's simple. Pull the trigger — and it's done. I really want to try it, but it's also scary. After all, it's a pistol. Something that brings death.
"Give me... Ahem... the pistol."
The Soldier pulled out the pistol with a deft motion, tossed it, caught it by the barrel, and handed it to me.
The metal gleamed in the sun, throwing reflections into my eyes. My heart quickened its rhythm. The Soldier stood motionless, still holding the pistol grip toward me.
Inhale.
Exhale.
I took the pistol, gripping the textured handle tightly in my fist, pointing it at the ground.
Heavy and cold. I'm holding something that can cause pain.
My fist clenched tighter and tighter, trying to hold the pistol — not because of the weight, but because of fear. My knuckles turned white, my fingers filled with blood. As if every muscle in my body had tensed to grip it.
I already held the pistol yesterday. Now all that's left is to pull the trigger. I can do it. I have to.
"How do you shoot?" I asked quietly, slowly placing the tablet on the ground, freeing my other hand.
"Disengage the safety. Grip with both hands. Straighten up. Extend in front of you. Brace into your lead foot," the Soldier instructed monotonously.
Simple. Five steps of preparation. That's it? But why won't this pistol even lift — why does it pull my hand down with the weight of responsibility?
I got lost in thought.
A light breeze wrapped around me, flapping the loose tarpaulin. Green leaves tore from the felled trees and spun in mini-vortices across the trampled, oil-stained clearing, rising around me into the sky, then slowly falling back down, waiting for me to get a grip on myself and finally shoot. And the rifle behind the Soldier's back clicked quietly, creating a rhythmic count.
Click.
tap-tap___tap-tap-tap___tap-tap
Click.
tap-tap___tap-tap-tap___tap-tap
"I'm ready," I said. The wind died down, releasing all the leaves, and the Soldier's rifle fell silent.