The terrifying sound of punishment time began to rumble loudly in my ears. My phone's alarm was the sound that forcefully brought me back down to earth, to endure another day of suffering. I stretch out my hand and grab my phone to turn off the alarm. As I do that, I realize my body is trembling, I'm agitated, I feel fear, but not for anything in particular. It seems like maybe it was something I dreamed, but I no longer remember what happened. What was it? Was it bad? Or is it perhaps the inner knowledge that my dream has been lost again?
I get up and start getting ready to go to the battlefield that is another day. In a rush, I prepare my breakfast. There's still some bread from a couple of days ago; I can eat that so I don't lose much time. I grab my food and go back to my room. I like to eat there at my computer desk. Next to it is the shelf where the most important figures are. Right there is Rory. It seems her halberd has moved again. It's a nuisance having to adjust her weapon to the exact angle where it looks best, but I feel that if this spot isn't perfect from the viewing angle I have from the chair, I won't be able to enjoy her properly. Besides, it's Rory. She has taken care of me in my lowest moments; I have to take care of her too. We're a pair of lovers after all.
.......
That's what I tell myself as I continue eating breakfast alone.
.....
Finally, when I finish, I gather my bag, check that everything is in its place one last time, say goodbye, no one says goodbye back, close the door, and set off. I have to catch the bus at the first stop, the university.
I have time to arrive a little before classes, so I go to the back of the classroom and take out my notebook to keep writing. On the bus ride here, a couple of ideas came to me that I might be able to integrate; I just need to refine them a bit. The other students are gradually arriving, then the professor. Classes started, but I was quite busy battling in my mind. The objective? Trying to successfully integrate Tamamo into my novel in a way that makes sense. I want her to be the same one from the video game where she died, but in a version where I could act in time to save her, to deny her that terrible fate. Her thanking me, crying, knowing the destiny she was saved from, being able to say her true feelings, being free of herself.
By the time I realized it, classes had already ended. It seems I got too absorbed in my own story. At least this time it seems I didn't fall asleep during class. Today Luna is talking with other classmates. From what I manage to overhear, it seems she managed to get her book published, so she's going to celebrate with them. She even promised one of them she'd give her a copy when it's printed. Hearing that news, I couldn't contain the urge to check the progress on my novel. Same numbers as yesterday. Absolutely no one came to read mine.
There was no time to stay and lament anything; life doesn't wait for you to despair to continue. Even sad, I have to go to work, keep the machine moving if I wanted to advance to another day where I could publish a new chapter. At work today, nothing noteworthy happened, apart from a group of people who spent the whole shift talking nearby about their lives or how far along they were in progressing in the same game they all play. It must be fun to come to the company to chat with friends the whole shift while I have to work to make it look like the department has employees. And still, without recognition, while one of them will probably advance because they're capable of getting along with others, the only requirement to get another position.
When I leave work, I'm mentally exhausted. The bus ride doesn't help, but it was faster than yesterday's.
As I approach my apartment, I notice the light is on. I don't remember leaving it like that, and I also don't like leaving things on unnecessarily. Confused, I turn the key and go inside. There I just see my little sister playing with my console. She doesn't even greet me, just asks if I brought anything to eat because she's hungry. She didn't even ask my permission to visit; she simply took the spare key from my parents and came to use my apartment as a hideout to play video games and eat sweets away from our parents' scrutiny. I really hate it when she shows up here, but I also understand why she does it. I would have done the same if I'd had the opportunity.
Unfortunately, now I have a new unexpected expense thanks to her, because now that it's night, I have to take her back to my parents' house. I don't want anything bad to happen to her on the way home. As if that weren't enough, it was also quite late. Surely my mom will be annoyed about having to prepare food for her, so on the way back, I buy her some fast food so she can have something to eat when she gets home. Somehow, my parents still managed to find the negative side and complain because I bought junk food for my sister instead of something healthy by their standards. I wonder what that standard was, pink caviar perhaps?
I have to take a taxi to get back home because it was so late. A spontaneous 2-hour adventure wasted simply because my sister showed up unannounced.
After all that, I finally found myself back in my room, once more in my little refuge, finally alone. Finally, I could let my guard down a little and take off my armor. While I eat, I notice again that Rory has become dislodged again. It seems this time she's moved to the right, as if looking for a better angle to look directly at my hands, like a direct stare too uncomfortable to bear so much passionate gaze she projected. Again, I get up to adjust her in the correct place, where she should be. "A bit restless today, aren't you?" I liked to say inside my mind, trying to breathe a little more life into this place.
Once again, I turn on my special lamp to project the space, the galaxy on the ceiling of my room. Once again, I was in that luminescent forest, once again in another world, my world. The ideal place to continue writing my story, a new chapter, the same one I had been planning all day today since I woke up.
In my story, I want to show that Tamamo does matter to me, that I truly respond to the feelings she expressed when she held the lamp. So I wrote that I invited her on a date in Tokyo, so this chapter is about precisely that. But I don't want to just put that a couple of things happen and that's it; Tamamo deserves better than that. I start searching online and open a map. I had heard that a place where people often gather is the park outside Shibuya train station, near the statue of Hachiko the faithful dog. I thought that maybe that place would be great to start a date with her. Surely she would like to learn the story that happened there and the loyalty that was shown; surely she would feel melancholy in return by the end. Another thing couples often do on a date is go see a movie. But if I want this date to be good, I have to find a place with a cinema near Shibuya station. Searching online, I managed to find a nearby cinema I could use. On the other side near there is a traditional restaurant. Surely Tamamo would appreciate eating some normal ramen after being locked up for so long. It would be fun to take her there after seeing a movie. Here on their internet page, it says almost everything is made of carved wood. It's important that I mention that in my chapter.
"When are you going to add me to your novel?" I heard Rory mention.
I turned to look at the figure on the shelf. There she was still accompanying me, looking directly at me with her smile, ready to help or accept the challenge of splitting the enemy in half in the most violent way possible.
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"Don't worry, that will happen later, first I have to finish this arc."
"I'll add you to the story later when I get to an action part where you show up to help the protagonist," I said out loud to myself, answering the question.
I can't get distracted anymore. I want to finish this chapter before I go to sleep. I still have half of it left to write.
How should I end it? Well, Tamamo already revealed a part of herself with her confession. I should respond in kind... But confess my problems to her? Overwhelm her with my problems? She's coming from nearly losing her life in a terrifyingly cruel way; I can't punish her with problems that aren't hers and that won't change anything anyway. The only thing it would do is make the chapter worse. No, instead, I think it's better to simply have me talk a little about feeling sad about my situation without being too specific, and have her save me again, hugging me, telling me everything will be okay, that in the future everything will get better and she's there with me laughing by my side, remembering days like these with laughter and not tears, in a place where the days are long and the laughter plentiful.
.......
Wait, in the end, I ended up writing everything.......
.......
But now this scene is so beautiful that it makes me cry just thinking about having Tamamo hugging me by my side. I feel like I just wrote it, and somehow it's one of the most beautiful memories I have of Tamamo......
......
I'm going to leave it. I'll simply leave it as a bit of the real Tamamo escaping into the chapter, a small way in which she truly came to life for a moment. Maybe in the future I'll read it again if I crumble and need comfort. I'll fondly turn to the fact that it was the real Tamamo who said that, and not me.
"Hmm, so one girl isn't enough for you? You really want to have a harem."
"It's okay to have more than one love relationship, go ahead and have more girls you love, but at least include me in that relationship too. I can get along with Tamamo, I promise I won't be a bother!" Said Rory from the shelf.
"I may be lustful and lascivious on my original story, but even I prefer cute, loyal and inocent love relationships that you want to have with us"
"I already told you I'll do it later."
"My idea is for both of you to be there. Probably in about 15 or 20 chapters, I'll write the first harem date, so stop bothering me so much."
"I still have to find the images to add to the chapter!" I replied while still wiping my tears with my pajama sleeve.
It took me over two hours to find all the images and arrange them coherently throughout the chapter, so that just by looking at the images, the route would be easy to follow.
With all the hope in my work, I can rest for today, knowing I wrote the best chapter possible at this moment in my life. That thought is always there. I take a moment to breathe before clicking the option to publish online. I press it. I don't want to know anything more for now. I did the best I could in this situation. I turn off the computer and prepare my bed to sleep. Tomorrow is Sunday, a day to rest, to sleep in. I hope that finally, this is the chapter where people will see that my story is serious and worth giving a chance.
The relief of sleep comes shortly after, today faster than other days thanks to the feeling of lifting the weight of publishing my chapter off my shoulders. My dream this time is of Tamamo, as simple as her sleeping by my side, saying how she doesn't plan to abandon me now or ever. She came to stay and will prove it by being by my side every minute I have left to live, and as a Goddess, she would ensure that even in the eternity of the afterlife, she would also accompany me every second, taking every step alongside mine.
When the next day arrived, instead of the horrible sound of the alarm, it was simply the boredom of lying in my bed for more than twelve hours. It was already past noon, and I was still in bed. I really didn't have much to do today, so I also didn't see any reason to get up.
As soon as I realized I had woken up, I grabbed my phone. I want to check how many times my new chapter was viewed. That was my first action of the day after publishing a chapter. Upon opening the page, I see there are only 15 views on my new chapter, one like. That was my new record, my largest audience for a new chapter. No new comments, no real visits, just another chapter into the void. But at least I remember the words Tamamo said to me in it.
I get up to prepare breakfast. This time I have time, so I decided to cook a bit more and create something tastier than yesterday. After that, there's no real plan for today, so I'll probably play with my VR headset and explore new fantasy worlds created by other users. I'll probably take several photos of what I find to use in my novel. Maybe I'll try to get a new avatar I can use. Maybe I could find one of that other character I saw in an adult anime the other day, Melona. Despite looking so sexualized, I loved how her body looked with her huge curves or the way her slime hands held her massive breasts, instead of the horrible belly I had on my real-life body. Maybe I should lose weight, but I really don't care. It's not like I like my body in the first place enough to take care of it and have a more muscular version of something I already didn't like in general.
While I was playing, I managed to hear my apartment doorbell. It seems to be the mail. Upon opening the door, I confirm it is. It looks like they're delivering the Tamamo figure I bought the other day. Excitedly, I take it out of the box. I want to place it as soon as possible on the main shelf. I want to put it next to Rory.
After arranging Tamamo on the main shelf, next to Rory, I stayed for a while just looking at them. The two together, finally. Tamamo with her serene expression, as if she were shy in her new home. It's the same as when she was about to confess her feelings for me in Star Fantasy, but this time I'm here instead of the enemy. This time I can protect her or hug her, because this time it won't be her death, but our reunion in her place.
"My harem shelf is starting to fill up."
I laughed alone at my own joke, that humor that only I understand.
I put my VR headset back on and kept playing for several more hours, looking for new impossible places, filming landscapes I might try to describe, searching for new inspiration and emotions to depict. A rural village in the sky, with its mills below the floating island. A space station quite similar to the one in Star Fantasy. A special highway traveled by alien waves and frequencies. A relaxation island next to a black hole. The ruins of an Atlantean city abandoned due to war against dragons but perfectly maintained by fairies. A ton of things I could surely write about, visiting with Tamamo and Rory in these places.
When I took off the VR headset, it was already night outside. It was time for dinner. After preparing myself a meal of instant noodles, I look again at my "harem shelf" as I now called it. There's Tamamo smiling, but I also see Rory. She had moved from her position again. I got up from the chair with the weight of the night in my bones, ready to adjust Rory one more time before sleeping. But when my hand reached towards the shelf, something stopped me.
......
This time, there's something truly different about her.
Her head, normally erect in that perpetual vigilance the artist had designed, was slightly tilted to one side. Leaning against the shaft of her halberd. She is asleep. For the first time in all this time, Rory's figure is leaning instead of standing, eyelids closed, body relaxed in a pose I didn't recognize because I had never seen her like this before, as if during my gaming session she had decided to watch over me but boredom got the better of her.
The instant my fingers touch her, Rory stirred in her sleep, uncomfortable at being touched. And then, her eyes—the tiny painted eyes of the figure—opened wide, meeting mine. She sits up with a start. Her hand releases the weapon and seeks to grasp my fingers, holding me with a strength that shouldn't be possible in a figure of plastic and paint. Her eyes are open now, huge and scared, and for a moment that lasts an eternity, we just look at each other—her scared at being discovered, me scared because there's no explanation for this.
The cry that got stuck in my throat wasn't fear. It was something much deeper, much more terrifying. Because in her eyes, I didn't see paint. I saw confusion, I saw surprise, and I saw... relief? I saw Rory, my Rory, from the imaginary dialogues, the one always ready to split enemies, waking up in my hands after having fallen asleep at her post, protecting me even while dreaming.