(Original Author’s note: Subaru fans, please watch carefully.
This chapter is harsh on Subaru, but it is a necessary path for early Subaru to grow quickly.
I’m also a true Subaru fan myself, so please don’t attack me.
If you want to attack someone, attack Nagatsuki Tappei instead.)
(TL’s note:Let’s see where this chapter will lead my emotion to…)
“Yes, Master!”
“Uegh—!”
Subaru vomited.
His body hurt.
His healthy, intact body hurt.
The terrible agony from just now had been carved into his soul, and the nausea was so strong that it felt like his mind was about to collapse.
Subaru could not hold it back.
“Eh?
Eh?!”
Shaula was startled.
Master had been perfectly fine just a moment ago, so why had his expression suddenly changed so much?
Why was he vomiting nonstop in pain?
“Are you okay, Master?
What’s wrong?”
Shaula worriedly patted Subaru’s back.
Subaru’s eyes were bloodshot.
The pain of having his body cut in half felt as though it had only just happened.
Even if his brain told him that his body was perfectly unharmed, his soul denied it.
His memories denied it.
“Ah… Ah!”
Subaru breathed deeply, his breaths heavy as he tried to ease the intense nausea and pain.
“Seriously, did Master eat something bad?
How careless.”
Shaula guessed.
“No… I didn’t…”
Subaru wiped the corner of his mouth.
His expression was filled with pain, and he almost trembled as he looked at Shaula.
“You… You’re okay.
Thank goodness.”
“Ehehe, Master is worried about me.
I’m really happy.
But Master, your current condition isn’t exactly suited for worrying about other people, you know?
Should your disciple lend her strength and carry you to the Green Room?”
This time, Shaula did not fool around.
She spoke somewhat seriously.
“I’m sorry… I’m sorry… I didn’t lose anything.
There’s a mabeast in the underground palace.
Don’t go down there.
You’ll be killed!”
Subaru ignored Shaula’s concern.
He anxiously grabbed her and shouted in a rush.
“Killed… me?”
Shaula looked at Subaru’s serious expression and grew even more confused.
Even if her brain was a little dull, she could still tell what Subaru was worried about.
“If Master is lonely and wants me to stay with you, if you don’t want me to go down, then I can stay.
But if there’s some mabeast threatening Master’s safety…”
Anger appeared in Shaula’s green eyes.
“I’ll go slaughter it.”
“No, you can’t.
You’ll be killed… You can’t go.
Before I Returned by Death—gh?!”
Subaru blurted it out.
He wanted to tell Shaula about his ability, Return by Death, and use that to convince her not to go down.
But the instant he said those words—
Everything fell silent.
Time seemed to have been pressed to a stop.
The world suddenly lost its color, and the noisy ringing in his ears vanished into that space.
Shaula stopped moving.
Subaru also felt that he could not move.
It was a soundless world.
A sealed space where even the word “silence” seemed too gentle.
Even the ringing in his ears disappeared.
He could not even hear the sound of blood flowing inside his body.
It was an absolute, inexplicable state of complete silence.
Black mist slowly approached.
Subaru clearly saw a large amount of mist appearing around him.
In this world where everything had stopped, only the black mist slowly changed shape.
That black smoke condensed into a black hand.
The hand reached deep into Subaru’s chest, passing through his skin as if it were nothing.
Subaru felt something strange from his heart.
The hand…was caressing his heart?
Subaru could not move.
He could not speak.
He could only allow everything to happen.
A sharp sting—
What was that hand trying to do?
After caressing his heart, the black hand left Subaru’s body.
Subaru felt as if a heavy burden had been lifted from him.
Just as he was about to relax, blood spilled from the corner of Shaula’s mouth.
“Huh…?”
The colorless world returned to normal.
Sound once again invaded his ears.
Everything seemed to fall back into place.
Except—
Shaula tried to say something, but instead, she vomited a large mouthful of blood.
Her powerless eyes looked at Subaru.
Perhaps realizing that her life was about to reach its end, she collapsed into Subaru’s arms.
“Shaula… Shaula?
Shaula!!”
Terrified beyond words, Subaru held Shaula in his arms.
He did not know what had just happened.
Was this something he could not confess?
Was this something he could not say?
Why could he not say it?
Why could he not tell anyone?!
“Master… I love you… No matter how many more four hundred years… I will…”
Before she could say the final words, the warmth of her body gradually faded.
The girl in his arms was declared dead.
“No, I didn’t mean to.
I didn’t… I’m sorry.
I can’t accept this… I can’t!”
Subaru shook his head and let out a miserable cry.
He tightly hugged the girl, as if trying to warm her with his own body heat.
But the colder and colder feeling in his arms told him that the girl’s signs of life were completely gone.
The second time.
This was the second time he had caused her death. This chapter was taken from g.com without permission.
Just how ridiculous was he?
He had actually killed his lifesaver twice in a row.
On the verge of collapse, Subaru picked up the corpse in his arms.
“There’s still… There’s still hope… Reid.
Right, Reid is an examiner too.
He must know something.
Shaula can still be saved.
She should be bound to this tower, just like him!”
Subaru ran with the last trace of unrealistic hope.
He ran like a madman toward the second floor.
The staircase to the second floor was long, and carrying someone was not exactly light.
Even so, Subaru ran the entire staircase in one breath.
He had to fight for every second.
He had to save her.
He did not want to kill the girl who loved him a second time.
“Big Brother Reid!
Big Brother Reid!”
Subaru ran to the second floor with a tear-streaked face.
“Stop shouting!
You’re noisy!
Why are you suddenly going crazy, small fry?!”
Reid impatiently stood up from the grassland, carrying his irritation from being woken up.
He looked toward the staircase.
But when he saw Subaru arriving while holding Shaula, he froze too.
“Brat, if you don’t like her, then don’t like her.
But you actually killed her?
I take back what I said before.
You’re not even human.
You’re a beast.”
Reid immediately understood the situation.
Especially because right now, Subaru’s body was giving off a nauseating stench everywhere—the Witch’s Scent.
It disgusted him to the point of exploding.
“No, it’s not what you think.
I didn’t mean to.
I really didn’t.
I…”
Subaru wanted to explain, but found that his tongue seemed tied in knots.
He could not explain it.
There was no way to explain it.
There were only three people in the whole tower.
If it was not him, then who else could it be?
Subaru did not know who that hand belonged to.
He did not know why Shaula had died.
But there was no doubt that it was because he had revealed Return by Death that Shaula had died.
“Not you?
Then who was it?
Say it, bastard.
Who the hell was it?!”
Reid stood up and took out his chopsticks.
“Tell me word by word!
What, did you go mute?!”
“It… It was me… But I didn’t… I can’t say it!”
Subaru shouted hysterically.
Facing Reid’s questioning, he was completely helpless.
His mind was already in utter chaos.
Just what unforgivable thing had he done to deserve this?
Inside his heart, Subaru kept cursing and roaring in anger.
“Right now, what matters is whether there’s a way!
Is there a way to bring her back to life?
Both of you are part of this tower, right?
She should be like you, some kind of tower mechanism, shouldn’t she?!”
Subaru stopped trying to explain and asked desperately instead.
“Hey, small fry.”
“You’re really making me sick right now.”
Reid’s figure suddenly appeared directly in front of Subaru.
Then—a pair of chopsticks struck him.
Subaru’s face took the heavy blow, and his whole body was sent flying.
Shaula also fell from his arms onto the ground.
“Cough, cough!
Big Brother Reid…?”
Subaru did not understand.
In this situation, why was Reid attacking him instead of thinking of a way?
“You want to ask me why I hit you?
Honestly, I thought you’d improved at least a little…”
Reid walked forward.
“But in the end, you’re still crying and sniveling.
Disgusting.
Boring.
And what’s with that look in your eyes?
Why do you look like you think people should be able to come back to life?!”
Reid shouted in anger.
He did not understand why Subaru would have such a thought.
Such a hateful thought.
A thought that did not respect the preciousness of life at all.
“Get the hell down from here.
Take that woman’s corpse with you.
Don’t let me see you again, or I’ll kill you.
I will definitely kill you.”
Reid practically roared the words.
Subaru was terrified.
Tears flowed from his eyes.
He tightly shut his eyes, as if giving up.
“Kill me.
Please kill me!”
As long as he Returned by Death again, everything could still be fixed.
If he Returned by Death again, none of this would have happened.
He could start over—
“That’s exactly what I’m talking about!
What the hell do you think life is?!
Dog shit????”
Reid was completely enraged.
He kicked Subaru hard, sending him flying.
The force was enormous, and the pain made Subaru feel as though his head was almost severed from his body.
But it did not end there.
Like a ball, he rolled and tumbled through the corridor, finally falling down to the fourth floor.
“Ah… Ah!”
The pain from tumbling down the stairs was nothing compared to the agony in his heart.
Subaru felt as if this scene was strangely familiar.
“AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHH!!!”
Subaru screamed in anger and frustration, pounding the floor until frightening blood seeped from his palms.
This time, there was no longer a girl who would come out smiling and argue with him.
Because she had been killed by him.
“Why did it turn out like this?
Why did it turn out like this?!”
Subaru could not understand.
He could not figure it out.
He only felt as if the world were chasing him with endless malice.
He had only wanted to properly experience a wonderful new life.
Why had things become like this?
Why did he have to deal with enemies like monsters?
Why did he have to be chased by a giant scorpion monster?
Why did he have to kill his own companion?
“Dad… Mom… What am I supposed to… do…?
Someone tell me.
Anyone, please tell me!
What am I supposed to do?!
What is the right thing to do?!”
A long time passed.
Without realizing it, he actually fell asleep.
After a person cried and raged hysterically alone, the brain, in order to prevent collapse, would instinctively shut down.
When Subaru woke up again, he found that he was not in the Green Room.
He was still lying on the platform where he had fallen from the second floor.
That was right.
There was no longer a kind girl who would take him there to heal.
“Shaula is dead…”
He could only accept that result all over again.
His thoughts cut off.
He went to the kitchen and picked up the obsidian kitchen knife Shaula had sharpened for him.
As long as…
As long as he stabbed it into his throat…
As long as…he started over one more time…
Subaru’s hand trembled.
He did not stab it down.
He could not commit suicide.
What if Return by Death had a limit on the number of uses?
What if, if he died this time, he really died?
I…
I’m afraid to die.
That’s right.
Even after killing my lifesaver twice, I’m still afraid to die.
“Gaaaaaaahhhhhh!!!”
Realizing that he could not make himself commit suicide, Subaru angrily threw the kitchen knife into the corner.
Even obsidian suffered wear from such violence.
Small fragments of black stone could be seen scattered across the floor.
“No… I can’t…”
Looking at the knife on the ground, Subaru felt his heart hurt even more.
He immediately threw himself to the floor and picked it back up.
This was…the last proof that Shaula had existed.
He gripped the kitchen knife again.
“I’ll take revenge… I don’t care what kind of great mabeast you are.
I’m going to slaughter you!”
Subaru felt a burst of anger ignite in his chest.
Gritting his teeth, he headed down toward the underground palace again.
He was going to deal with that damned scorpion.
He was going to avenge Shaula.
All of this was that scorpion’s fault.
It was all its fault.
If not for it, he would already have left.
He would already be outside, searching for a way to save Shaula!
But Subaru, filled with rage, had completely forgotten that he had broken the promise.
The rule that said—
“Before clearing the trial, you may not leave the tower.”
He did not know how he overcame his fear and went down.
In the previous loop, that giant scorpion had made him taste the ultimate hellish torture.
Being cut in half.
That was not an opponent he could beat just because he changed weapons.
Absolutely not.
Subaru walked through the dark, damp underground tunnel.
Each time, the giant scorpion had come out from here.
That meant its nest had to be here.
Subaru firmly believed that.
One hour.
Two hours.
Three hours.
Four hours.
Time passed, but Subaru still could not find the giant scorpion.
He did not have much time.
He had not eaten or drunk anything for a long time.
And he knew very well how cold the underground tunnel was at night.
But he wanted to find the giant scorpion.
Even if he was going to die, he had to die taking revenge.
He had to die repaying the girl’s kindness.
But—
In the end, his tortured body was the first to give out.
He collapsed in the dark, damp underground tunnel.
The kitchen knife in his hand rolled down in front of him.
He wanted to reach out and grab it.
But he had no strength left.
“Why… Why didn’t you appear this time…?
Why… can’t I even take revenge…?”
Despair crawled all over Subaru’s heart.
When he least wanted to encounter it, that giant scorpion would always appear and kill him.
Yet now, when he wanted revenge, it had vanished.
It was as if the heavens had played an enormous joke on him.
His eyelids grew heavier and heavier, almost impossible to keep open.
His gaze finally fixed on the girl’s last remaining trace.
That slightly broken obsidian kitchen knife.
Back then, it had been the same.
She had appeared brilliantly before him.
But now, she would never appear again.
So thirsty.
So hungry.
So cold.
So tired.
So sleepy.
He really wanted to…just die like this.
(TL:Phew…damn…great chapter)