[I’ve never been this speechless in my entire life…]
[Can someone tell me what the hell kind of adventure this is…?]
[Take me to a world I actually know, like One Piece, Naruto, hell, even Pleasant Goat and Big Big Wolf.
I know those plots inside and out!]
[But no, you drag me to a Chair-Person World, and the first thing we do is rob them of their cookies…
money?
What the hell are we even doing!!!]
Morty was being chased like crazy by three police cars that looked more or less normal, running behind Rick with a burlap sack in his hands, stuffed full of Cookie Money.
His face was one giant question mark.
He had no idea what he was doing.
What confused him even more was how the hell those Chair People, whose actual bodies were literally chairs with faces, could even drive police cars!!!
And the most ridiculous part was…
Weren’t their cars way too damn slow?!
He could run faster than their cars!
Of course, Morty had the distinct feeling that if he stopped, he was absolutely screwed, so he still didn’t dare slow down just to talk trash.
But he had only just started his freshman year of high school, and thanks to that lousy genetic contribution from his dear old dad, Morty, who was at most one-quarter Rick, started getting tired fast.
Rick, who was leading the way, glanced back at Morty as he began panting.
He curled his lip in mild disgust, reached out, and grabbed him by the arm.
A portal opened immediately, and the two of them rushed straight through it.
They ended up back in the garage.
Morty lay on the floor, gasping for air, and began seriously wondering whether Rick was trying to get him killed on purpose.
Otherwise, what the hell did “seeing the world” mean?
Going to the damn Chair-Person World to “see the world.”
And then robbing a pile of cookies on the way out???
Under Morty’s wide-eyed, questioning stare, Rick picked up the bag, got to his feet with a casual flourish, and walked into the house.
“Beth, I brought you a bunch of fresh cookies.
All hundred-dollar…
cough, cough!
All one hundred percent delicious!”
Morty: “…”
In that moment, Morty felt cold inside.
He finally understood.
Taking him out to broaden his horizons was one thing.
Bringing his precious daughter some snacks was another.
But if those two things could be done at the same time, then…
hell, why not?
So I’d never been to another universe before, and you just dragged me straight through one without giving a single thought to whether I could handle it???
Or is shock therapy just Rick-style Therapy???
Morty was completely lost.
He had no idea what he was supposed to do next or how to even process any of this.
As someone who had read over a hundred web novels, even he had no solution for ending up in the world of Rick and Morty…
Under his mom’s surprisingly penetrating urging, Morty caught his breath, then calmly walked into the living room, sat down, and ate cookies with everyone else.
Until, in the blink of an eye, half a year had passed, and it was now some evening six months later…
Over the past six months, Morty had spent fewer than eight days at school in total.
Just today, he and Rick had gone to an alien planet and gotten involved in a war between two species.
After fighting one battle, helping the losing side turn things around, and then wiping out that same side with Rick because they looked way too ugly after taking off their helmets, Morty returned to his home on Earth and took a shower.
He had just lain down in bed.
He couldn’t help thinking that these past six months really had flown by…
Who would have thought that, under Rick’s watch, he would actually make it through a full six months so peacefully?
Sometimes, he had even shown flashes of bravery that completely broke the Morty character setting.
Not only had Rick not gotten suspicious, he had praised him for it.
On top of his combat ability skyrocketing, Morty had also stashed quite a few good things under his bed.
For example, “Mr.
Meeseeks,” who had appeared in the animation, the Animal Translation Helmet, and NASA’s commemorative badge for first contact with aliens.
Such a full six months made Morty feel that not buying a ticket and running away back then had probably been a pretty damn smart choice.
He had once suspected Rick of having ulterior motives toward him.
Who knew Rick was more like a kindly Grandpa trying to make up for lost family affection, spending every day either taking him out, taking him and his sister out together, or sometimes even taking the whole family of five across the universe for fun.
Yeah, as long as you ignored all the people they had killed over the past six months.
This would definitely be a family-friendly comedy.
Not an eighteen-plus multiverse massacre…
Mm!
To all the guys who became the boring parts of the adventure story…
Sorry!
Looking forward to tomorrow’s new adventure, Morty closed his eyes and fell asleep.
But not long after he drifted off, Rick burst into his room.
The stink of booze rolling off him, along with his drunken rambling, made Morty frown hard.
Rick taking them out to have fun all the time was one thing.
But his drinking problem had gradually turned into bottomless alcoholism!
Sometimes, there was barely anywhere to put your feet inside Rick’s little car-like Space Cruiser, because the whole thing was packed with empty bottles.
Morty had spent about a week calculating how much Rick drank.
On average, he drank forty kilograms of alcohol a day!
Forty kilograms!
A skinny girl might not even weigh 110 pounds.
Rick drank that much in alcohol every single day!
Morty didn’t really want the Rick who took him around the multiverse to show off, mess around, and have fun to die like this, so he had tried telling him to drink less before.
But…
it didn’t do jack shit!
Rick drank until the world spun and lived like he was trying to drown himself in alcohol.
He didn’t care about any of that.
And now, drunk Rick had come looking for him.
Morty sat up, but he didn’t get out of bed.
Instead, he glared at him, visibly annoyed.
“Morty, I need you.
I need you to help me with something.”
Morty glanced at the time on his phone and saw that it was already around two in the morning.
He couldn’t help sighing inwardly.
The past six months of adventures had been fun and exciting.
He had even talked with several women who, before he transmigrated, would have been completely out of his league, about topics like the physiological structures of primates and humanoid creatures.
But his sleep quality these days…
It had seriously gone straight to hell.
If they went out at a set time during the day, Morty could live with that.
But every now and then, Rick would drag him out late at night, especially in the dead of night, to some world or another to secretly do something sketchy.
Rick called it, “A dark and windy night is perfect for doing bad shit.”
Or, “Don’t you think the wind and booze at three in the morning really make a guy feel hopeful about the future?”
Except Morty really didn’t want to go tonight.
He was just too tired.
He even felt like his fourteen-year-old body had less energy than Rick.
But what kind of person was Rick?
Seeing that Morty didn’t want to move, Rick, drunk as he clearly was, still got up at once, stepped forward, grabbed Morty by the foot, and dragged him out.
That terrifying strength could no longer be described as peak human.
It was more like some ancient beast wearing human skin.
After six months of training, Morty’s physical condition had improved a lot, but against strength like that, he still had no power to resist.
Dead inside, he was dragged all the way to the garage.
Looking at the Space Cruiser, still piled with empty bottles, Morty wanted nothing more than to light a cigarette and chase away the smell coming off the seats, which had practically been marinated in alcohol.
Watching Rick drive the Space Cruiser like it was a regular car, Morty, long since used to it, asked flatly, “Rick, where are we going tonight?”
Rick had just taken a drink.
In a voice even calmer than Morty’s, he said something that made Morty’s scalp go numb.
“I plan to blow up this world.”
Morty: “…”
In that moment, Morty’s face twisted so badly it nearly changed shape.
He couldn’t believe what he had just heard.
We’ve been together for half a year, and now, on some totally ordinary night, you suddenly call me up and say you’re going to blow up this world???
What the hell are you doing?!