Things didn't suddenly spiral off track after that night. Noburo didn't ask me to meet with his parents again, slowly I started calming down, and things returned to normal.
Dates with Noburo, hanging out with Jun, doing homework, doing Noburo, spending time with parents; the usual things for someone my age. If I didn't think too hard about it, things were pretty much perfect.
Of course, the calm routine was disturbed some weeks later.
After practice Coach pulled me aside, and I had a churning feeling in my gut telling me it was about extra practice. I started formulating excuses in my mind that would hopefully pass muster, but to my surprise it wasn't that.
"I have some good news," he smiled.
"That's great. What's going on?" I asked.
"You'll be attending the BFW World Junior Championship this Fall," he grinned, then reached forward and gave me half a hug with one arm, and a few pats on the back for good measure, "congratulations, you've really earned it."
"Thank you, Coach. This is great news," I return the smile.
"Now off you go. I'm sure your parents will be elated to hear it," he shoos me out.
I thank him again on my way out, but as I clean myself off in the shower I can't help but start to think, as I know this means a disruption to the current routine. I don't manage to reach any definitive answers, and as I leave the shower to get dressed I resolve to simply speak with Noburo about it, come what may.
Tracking Noburo down turned out to be easy, as he had just been released from practice as well, so I drag him to an unused classroom.
"What's up?" he asks me.
Apparently it somewhat shows on my face.
"I got accepted to attend a tournament, it's this Fall," I carefully watch his face, as it first turns towards happiness on my behalf, then a thoughtful frown.
"Oh."
"Yeah. What do you want to do?"
"Do you have to do this? Isn't what we have a good thing? Don't you-" I interrupt him before he can get any further.
"Stop," I close my eyes, take a deep breath and continue, "that's not how it works. I need an answer."
"I," he pauses, seemingly not know what to say, "I."
I can't help but feel angered at his hesitation.
"Fine, if you can't do then I can. I'm breaking up with you: We're done."
He sputters for a bit before he responds.
"You can't do that."
"Why not?" I challenge him, and seeing that he has no response my anger only grows, "you're the one that wanted this relationship the most, so why is it me who seems to be the only one interested in trying to make this work?"
"I do my best to make things work as well," he counters, and all the things that have been bothering me rush to the forefront of my mind, stoking my anger further.
"How? Exactly what have you done? You've been getting exactly what you want this entire time, and it has been me who has given way. Now it's your turn for a compromise, the very basis of this relationship, and you don't want to compromise," my breath is coming in heavy at this point, but I barely notice it.
He stays quiet for a few seconds before he speaks again.
"It doesn't matter whether it's good or bad. It matters if I want it or not. Why is it always you that gets your way? Why is it that how I feel and what I want apparently doesn't matter?!"
Slowly my wrath cools. I just feel tired and sad instead.
"Every step of the way of this relationship I have been honest, communicating with you how I feel and what I want, every step of the way I have compromised," I can feel tears running down my face, "and you refuse to do the same. It's always me who has to give up, and whenever things seem to be not going your way you make me feel bad, as if it's my fault that I want what I want, as if what I want isn't worth wanting."
Noburo's face crumbles, the upset look leaving his face, instead he just looks weary, and looks down.
"Sorry," he mumbles.
"I have given everything I have to give, and you still want more," I flop to the floor, sitting with my back against the wall, "I can't do this anymore."
We're both quiet for a bit, only the sound of my sobs breaking the silence. Slowly I get my crying under control.
He sits down next to me with a sigh.
"I've known it was a mistake from our very first date," he begins, "you just draw me in with how bright you are. You're exactly what I want. I went along with it, because I didn't care if I got hurt, some way I felt this was something I had to do or I would always regret it," he shakes his head lightly.
"I suppose I got so occupied with not getting myself hurt that I didn't notice how I was hurting you. Or maybe I didn't care? I don't know. I'm sorry for my selfishness. I'm sorry, Akane."
I look over at him, he looks like a sad puppy. I get up on my knees and swing a leg over him straddling him, then put my arms around him. His body is warm against mine, and he puts his hands around me as I bury my head in the crook of his neck, letting a few final tears drop.
We stay in that quiet, comfortable embrace for a while. I'm not sure which of us started it, but with a bit of a struggle his pants gets undone, my thong is easier to push aside, and he slides inside me smoothly.
I luxuriate in the way it feels as he fills me up, and when he is finally buried all the way inside my warmth it feels perfect. It's like I got exactly what I needed without knowing how much I needed it.
I ride him unhurriedly, planting careful kisses up his neck, and he turns his head towards me. I close my eyes and our lips meet in a soft kiss.
His hands reach down, and they cup my ass as I move up and down. I tug at his shirt, getting the buttons undone and run my hands across his chest.
Our lips part every now and then to unleash soft gasps as we make love.
Slowly our kisses become more needy. I taste his tongue in my mouth, and I scratch lightly at his chest. His grasp on my ass becomes firmer as he helps me go up and down, increasing the tempo.
We break for air more often, and the sound of my wetness, my moans, and his husky grunts fill the classroom.
In my eagerness I ruin his shirt a little, and my nails leave red stripes across his chest.
I return my mouth to his neck and start leaving my marks as he hums in contentment.
A final push down on his glistening cock, a deep grunt, and I push against him as much as I can, burying my face in his shoulder again.
The sensation as his twitching cock starts filling my core with his cum pushes me over the edge, I cry into his shoulder and leave more marks with my nails. It feels like it lasts a moment and a life time at the same time, and we bask in each other's presence.
After we're both finished we stay like that joined together, out of breath and sweaty, and I take comfort in our closeness.
"We should have used a condom," I say hoarsely finally breaking the silence.
"My pants are a mess," he adds on.
We laugh quietly together, then return to calm.
A few minutes later I pull my head back and look him in the eyes. I run a hand along his cheek.
"I don't know," he says quietly.
"I don't think I can do this anymore," I respond in the same tone.
"I think I love you."
I sniffle, tears start forming in my eyes, and I rest my head on his body.
"Please don't say that," my voice is muffled.
"I'm sorry."
When I finally make it home I feel nothing but deep exhaustion into my very bones, and the only thing I want to do is climb into bed and find out if a human can hibernate. Sadly that is not an option so I force myself to sit down at the dinner table to eat with my parents and share the news about the tournament.
"That's wonderful news," my dad smiles widely, "how about we go out and celebrate this weekend?"
"Sure, that sounds great," I try my best to smile, though mom is giving me a look.
Because why not? Why wouldn't I want to celebrate?
"Why not leave the cleanup to your dad and I?" she suggests, "I'm sure you've had a long day."
"Sure, that sounds great," I'm certain mom suspects something, "thanks. And goodnight."
I think she'll want to talk about it soon, a conversation I dread. I'm not sure what to tell her, but right now I feel too worn out to even bother thinking about it. Instead I gratefully make my way upstairs to my room.
I drop on my bed with a weary sigh, and then regret not undressing first. I wiggle my way out of my clothes and drop them on the floor, then crawl underneath the covers. I know I should put them away properly, but at this moment they would have to catch on fire for me to find it in me to bother about them.
Instead my mind turns towards Noburo. I don't regret it ending. Thinking about it, I don't think it could have ended any other way. I don't know if I regret that it happened. I just feel tired.
Tomorrow.
Tomorrow I'll pick myself up, or as close to it as I can.
I should tell Jun too, but my phone is in my bag and there is no way I'm getting back up now.
Tomorrow.
Tomorrow, I'll talk to him then. Another conversation to dread, but hopefully he can say something that will make me feel better.
I'm not sure what that will be, as even in my wildest imagination I can't think of anything anyone could say to make me feel better.
I don't even know if I want to feel better.
I just feel tired.
Tomorrow. Things will be better.
It takes a while, but finally I fall into an uneasy sleep.
AN: I believe all of you saw this coming. I think when I first wrote this I was really worried that people would think the breakup came out of nowhere, so I might have made it too obvious. Sadly, I started growing really fond of Noburo as well, but this could really only end in disaster.