“What the flip!? You two are already back? And with more herbs than needed! You can toss the rest away; those herbs are useless to anyone apart from the client. I’m honestly flabbergasted, no one has ever gotten to the river this fast before!”
‘Shit... maybe we should’ve thought of some excuse beforehand.’
Back at the Adventurers Guild after an extremely tough and demanding day of questing, sarcasm intended, we’re immediately greeted by the busty receptionist who is ecstatic by our return. Maybe we should’ve stayed out for a day or two before returning because flying is a vastly superior to travelling on foot. Those herbs are supposed to be exclusive to that river so we’ll need to make something up.
Oh yeah, it turns out elves aren’t vegetarians! Those rabbits we consumed went down a kick. I was a tad worried my stomach might reject meat, but that worry was of no concern… until the flight back at least. I did end up spewing a little, more down to acrophobic reasons though.
“Any problems or was the quest as easy as expected?”
Thankfully, the receptionist doesn’t question us any further.
“Eh. Other than a couple of bloodthirsty bunnies, we just about managed to survive.”
“Yup, you should’ve seen them! Teeth and claws like wolves, fangs like a vampire, and they spat poison! We had to jump from a cliff to survive their rage!”
I can’t help but chuckle to myself while passing over the rest of the herbs and receiving a pouch of coins in return. This dragon gets my stupid sense of humour right down to a tee.
Taking out my share and giving Lena the rest, we decided on the journey back fifty-fifty is the plan. Can’t say I’m complaining considering she’s doing most of the work, flying us to and fro. The fact she suggested it means I don’t dare try bartering with her on it.
[This guide would like to inform Sera that level 3 has been obtained upon completion of the quest.]
‘Same choice of health, stamina and magic? Let’s go HP this time and save the skill point for when there are more options to choose from.’
[HP is now at 110, Sera.]
[STATUS][Name: Sera][Species: Elf][Level: 3][EXP: 31/60][Age: 22][Gender: Female][Skill Points: 1][Health][110/110][Stamina][51/110][Magic][100/100] [STATS]
Spoiler
Extra bonuses from P.I.S.S.E.D.
DEX:
5% One-Handed Damage
1% Movement Speed
[collapse]
[Perception: 6][Intelligence: 7][Speechcraft: 8][Strength: 5][Endurance: 7][Dexterity: 10]“Talking about wolves, funny you should say that! We’ve just had another quest put up about a small pack wandering into town. It’s the same reward as before, albeit with fighting involved. Want me to save it for you?”
“Hmm... you down for another quest, Lena?”
The evening is starting to fall so we’ve only got a few hours before we’ll have to wait till tomorrow. Hunting down a pack of wolves before night beckons could make our start complete. A single day’s work for two hundred coins sounds spectacular.
“Okay dokey, Sera! Where are we heading then?”
“Just follow the main road north and they’ll notice your scent quick enough. I should warn you though, those overgrown mutts have a nasty bite…”
[QUESTLOG][Details][Risk][Reward][Defeat the pack of wolves straying too close to Bordertown.][Low][Low]__________
‘Right where the guild receptionist said, everyone knows quest markers are overrated.’
As expected, both me and Lena make our way out of town and in a matter of minutes, we encounter a small pack of wolves chilling underneath the fading sunlight as the day comes to an end.
“Come on then, puppies! Let’s get dancing!”
Even though Lena may look upbeat about fighting against the pack of four, that quickly changes when two-, no, four more creep out of the bushes to make the pack eight.
“*Growl*!”
“*Snap*!”
‘Erm… Guide? Isn’t this quest supposed to be low risk?’
This seems a considerable spike in difficulty, no? Eight wolves vs two adventurers. This is supposed to be on the same level as collecting herbs if you believe the questlog!
[To most experienced adventurers, Sera, defeating 8 wolves must be on the borderline to low and medium risk. It may prove too hard for someone with your minuscule numbers.]
‘Really appreciate the confidence, Guide.’
“Well shit. Lena, should we run?”
“No can do Sera, use me as a shield if you must. We’ve got this…”
Not leaving anything up to chance, the dragon activates her transformation just as the animals pounce!
Most of the hounds seem confused by the smoke, this still doesn’t stop the majority of them from aiming for it though. Just two of them come my way for now.
Wham! My tip of my blade catches the neck of the closest, but I do not have the speed nor strength to contend with the other just yet.
“Fuck!”
[Endurance improvement +1] The wolf’s jaw clamps right into my non-sword arm, locking tightly and causing torturous pain until someone manages to help me out.
“Sera! How dare they fucking do this to you!?”
With one swift swipe of the wing and her ripping apart the one attached to me, half the wolves are sent flying, either whole or in pieces.
But, even despite the overwhelming dragonic aura by my side, the rest of the pack predicts I’m easy prey and three of them try to have a go at me. Are there more than eight now!?
I try my hardest to pierce the closest with my blade and the sword goes in right through its chest. But, the damned mutt continues to live with the blade sticking out of it!
‘How come it’s not dead yet, Guide!?’
[Every attack Sera had landed against wolves thus far has been a critical hit. Attacks hitting the torso of most creatures do 100% damage. Head and neck is 150%, limbs are 50%.]
‘Damage multipliers are such BS!’
Thankfully, Lena can stop the other two from directly charging at me by crushing one and tossing aside the other. While this happens, the wolves thrown earlier return to back up the pack.
Finishing off this one is easy enough as all it takes is me plunging my backup dagger into its face. The sword inside of it slides out nicely as well.
Strangely enough, some invisible force stops me from attacking with both blades, but that isn’t needed right now. I need the extra range!
Another wolf dashes towards me but this time, I’ve got my sword back again and know exactly where to aim. This aggressive little fuck impales himself right through the jaw!
[Dexterity improvement +1] ‘Ack! What is wrong with our luck today!? Looks like I’m using that combat ability then.’
Crunch! Getting bitten again by another wild mutt, I try to pull out my sword from the dead creature’s jaw, only for the handle to be returned and not the blade. My iron sword has broke!
[Endurance improvement +1] I haven’t forgotten about the fact I have a combat ability; I was however trying to save it in case of emergency. This situation is now an emergency.
[Double Slash]
Back to my backup dagger, another sees me as an easy kill and charges again, all the while Lena is chomping down and ripping the others to shreds. I can’t rely upon her when she’s still got a couple snapping at her tail.
And again, another bite as my leg is bitten, just as the dagger stabs the beast. Blue aura spills from the hit, engulfing all of the creature’s head, presumably landing double damage from the ability as well.
‘Which of you fucking runts is next!? Huh? Oh, that’s ended quicker than I thought.’
Thankfully, Lena’s frenzy seems to have paid dividends as the few remaining are either now dead or trying to flee from the impending doom. That was a close one.
[STATUS][Name: Sera][Species: Elf][Level: 3][EXP: 47/60][Age: 22][Gender: Female][Skill Points: 1][Health][38/110][Stamina][47/110][Magic][100/100] [STATS]
Spoiler
Extra bonuses from P.I.S.S.E.D.
DEX:
5% One-Handed Damage
1% Movement Speed
[collapse]
[Perception: 6][Intelligence: 7][Speechcraft: 8][Strength: 5][Endurance: 9][Dexterity: 11]‘Damn, really took a beating there. Is it odd that Lena, a dragon, doesn’t use or breathe fire?’
Another thing I’ve noticed but haven’t brought up yet, my travelling companion isn’t one for burning her prey to a crisp. I really should ask, but I feel like this could be a sore subject. She’d have breathed fire by now if she could already, right?
Once I look away from my enraged partner, it becomes clear to me just by counting the mangled bodies and the few running away that the battle was more difficult than expected. There weren’t just eight wolves, my guess is at least eleven. Lena herself must’ve killed at least seven alone.
‘That can’t have been a low-risk quest, Guide. Have you seen the state I’m in?’
[You must’ve stumbled into a different pack of wolves as well as the ones part of the quest, Sera. Just a case of bad luck, unfortunately.]
‘Heh, bad luck. This world is going to kill me…’
As I’m trying to laugh away the pain, Lena returns from her wolf crusade and takes one look at me before changing back into her human disguise.
“Sera… oh no. I’m so freaking useless!”
It takes but a moment for her to run over to me, even stumbling through a puddle all the while looking like she’s about to cry.
I’m confused as to why she cares so much, it’s just a few bite wounds. I’d have been wolf poop if it wasn’t for her, so no chance in hell is she useless.
“Relax Lena, heh. I’m fine. What doesn’t kill you makes you stronger after all. The blood on my face isn’t mine.”
Maybe it’s the adrenaline talking, but I thoroughly enjoyed that. The pain stings and I’m too weak to hold my own while fighting against a group, but just think of the status gains! It almost makes it worth the agony.
“At least let me help if you’re going to laugh about nearly dying... I’ve definitely got some bandages somewhere.”
While Lena tends to my injuries, I might as well take this moment to try and figure something else out. That sword wasn’t anything special, but coming apart like this feels unfair. Even just looking at the handle now, that shouldn’t have snapped like that.
‘Was this a case of shoddy equipment or lacking technique, Guide?’
[Technically, both answers are correct, Sera. Weapon quality and technique both affect the chances of weapons breaking. Low dexterity and strength in particular are strong contributors.]
‘By the sounds of it, there’s a threshold or formula to this?’
[Correct. The exact formula to technique seems to be based on weapon weight x 25.]
So… I’d need thirty-seven and a half in both strength and dexterity to reliably use a sword. The endgame in this world is going to be so sweet when I get past all these hurdles. Let’s just hope I can live long enough to see that day.
“Oh, before we head back, Lena, give me a minute to skin the mutts you haven’t chowed down on yet.”
…
As she wipes the blood off my face, what I see after the rag is a sad face of pure disappointment. It’s honestly comparable to a parent scolding a child for doing something stupid.
“Really Sera? I swear I can see bone in your arm. Right now, you want to try skinning them?”
Instead of giving her an answer, I can’t help but chuckle again. The pain is excruciating and all, but we’ve got things to do, places to see. Life doesn’t stop because a few wolves decided to try and use me as a chew toy. The pain does seem to be getting worse now that things are calmer though.
“Heh, it’s fine Lena. I’m always down for becoming part skeleton. Just learn necromancy and use me to guard a dungeon or something.”
“Hehe, your sense of humour is terrible, Sera. That’s not even funny…”
[Perception improvement +1] __________
“Two coins per pristine pelt, that’s the going rate for a wolf around here. Don’t like it, bugger off.”
“Come on now, these are high-quality specimens, perfect for leather… I think. Regardless, I would know considering the pain and agony it took to get these puppies.”
“Cry me a river, knife ears, I’m not listening. Two.”
“Erm… Sera? I don’t think he’s going to budge.”
Back in Bordertown at a local vendor that deals with meat and hides, I once again try my chance at bartering, only to end in total failure. I’m starting to think there’s a debuff that gets applied to us knife ears in this town!
“Eh, whatever then. Are we heading back now?”
“Okay dokey!”
Giving up and just accepting the deal, the three pelts salvaged are now his. Tomorrow, we’ll head back to the guild and get the reward. For now, all I want to do is sit down and relax.
Once again walking down the Green Mile, that's how this high street feels with my injuries, the place is slightly more crowded than usual, but none of that matters to me. Something else is catching my attention.
Walking alongside me, Lena’s hand keeps bumping into mine. Whatever could be the reason?
“Lena… you mind?”
“Oh, sorry Sera. Sometimes this body is hard to control!”
‘Yeah yeah… I’m watching you, sus dragon.’
Continuing a couple dozen steps later, it happens again! Is it that hard to ask if you want to hold hands or something? I’m not a dense person!
“Look Lena, if you want t-”
“We’re here, Sera! Let’s head on inside.”
‘Devilish dragon.’
Trying to hide that obvious grin, Lena rushes into the bar and I follow.
[Author-Notes]
This is unedited purposely to show you why scenes like this will be extremely rare. The limit is about 4 faces if you want it looking alright.
‘Urgh, being an introvert is no fun. I need a drink to steady the nerves… and the pain of course.’
Back to the tavern we’re staying at, the place is filled head to toe with people and I haven’t got the intoxicating nectar to mellow myself out. I’m a social drinker, alright? I only drink for medicinal purposes.
Regardless of how packed this place is, we both get to the bar, pay for a room and order our drinks of choice. Lena just goes for a fruity drink while I go for the same as yesterday.
Except, instead of getting a stiff whiskey from the bar, what stares at me dead in the face is a yellow drink with two slices of lemon and a cherry. It is technically whiskey, just not what I asked for.
“Barkeep, there appears to be fruity shit in my drink.”
“You may have a taste for strong liquor, elf, but me and your friend both agree you can’t hold your weight.”
“Yup! Sorry Sera, but we’re not making last night a habit. Alcohol doesn’t agree with you.”
‘My heart bursts with betrayal! This is not ok!’
“*Sigh*… it’s barely worth having at this point.”
Sighing but knowing better not to argue, I take the whiskey sour and find a place to sit, all the while trying my best not to pout or sulk. I’m not exactly sure how that would look on my elven face, but doesn’t seem impossible to imagine.
The drink is nice and sweet, but the alcohol content is lacklustre. I’d normally get a double if enjoying a cocktail, don’t think this even counts as half or a third of a shot.
“Oi, knife earshh, over here! Take a seat!”
Two guys, seemingly drunk call us over. Considering there’s nowhere else to sit, this will have to do. Lena doesn’t look happy about it, but it’s better than nothing.
It takes a second for my opinion to change once we’re seated though.
“You’ve got a pretty nice body, knife earssh. Care to shhare a bed with two real men? We can shhow you a good time.”
“Yeah, hic, your friend is fine as well. You two can always take turns as we show you what peak alpha males can do!”
Having to hold Lena back from the second man flexing his muscles, I just know she’s going to break their jaws if I don’t do something. It doesn’t matter what world you’re in, or who you stumble across, jackasses will always continue to be jackasses.
“Eh, doubt you two would beat me and Lena in a dick-measuring contest. You’re always welcome to try… we may need to get you some binoculars though.”
…
If I had light magic to record this very moment, then that would be swell. The faces those two drunkards pull when they hear we might be packing a different kind of weapon under our skirts, the look is priceless. Lena as well is trying her hardest not to crack up and is instead sticking her tongue out at them.
“Erm… hic. I think we’ll go somewhere else.”
“Freaking knife earssh… no amount of drink will get me to do dat.”
‘A crying shame, really having no luck with my speech today.’
As the two men leave with their “tails” between their legs, I can’t help but get annoyed that didn’t level my speech up. That was a clever but also witty penis joke. I’m calling it now; my system doesn’t like chicks with dicks. This is systematic oppression that I won’t allow!
[Continuing this subject will most likely get us cancelled, Sera.]
‘Eh, it’s just a futanari joke, Guide. There's nothing sinister to think about.’
[It doesn’t matter what is said or thought, you’ll inevitably offend or upset someone, Sera.]
‘True, best just be quiet and act like a cog in the machine. It’s not like I care or have any controversial opinions anyway.’
Just as I’m finally getting comfortable and continuing to sip the sweet concoction of liquor, Lena gets up out of the booth. If she wants to beat those men to a pulp, I’ll back her up, but I’m not sure how useful I’ll be in a fist fight.
“Come with me, Sera, let’s go drink these where idiots can't be found. I think we’re allowed to bring our drinks with us?”
“No problem with that, Ponytail. Just bring the glasses back, or it’s going on your tab.”
Now that Lena wants to leave, I follow her to the bedroom section of the inn and question a little of that subtle yet sly grin growing on her face. Something is playing on her mind and I’m not sure if I want to ask or not.
“You remember what happened last time we slept here, Sera? Something you may have said just as we went to bed?”
As soon as we enter the room, Lena finally shows her true colours and mentions something I had hoped she’d forget.
“Erm… don’t believe I recall the events that may or may not have transpired last night.”
Recalling back, I’m now reserving my right to remain silent. Most of that night was a blur of happiness and giggling, but at that exact moment just before passing out, I remember everything. I’d rather not use the whole drunken amnesia cliché, but it may be for the best if we forget it happened. I’m not even sure if I meant it in that way, the word like doesn’t have to mean romantically.
“Aww… be that way then. You can have the floor tonight.”
“Hang on, why do you get the bed? You’re a dragon and must be used to sleeping on the floor. I’m still all so injured as well!”
“You wouldn’t make such a young feeble dragon sleep on the dingy floor, would you, Sera? Unless you’re suggesting we sleep together so I can look after you? That’s really naughty if you are!”
Seeing the grin grow on her face exponentially… fair play dragon. She’s a load smarter than she lets on. I bet this was her plan to begin with, allow the wolves to chomp on me so she could nurse me back to health. I’m obviously being sarcastic… she is sly though.
Thankfully, I’m all for it. We’ve already slept together three times; another isn’t going to hurt. It’s not like it’s going to lead to anything further just yet.
“Move over then… gigantic pain in the arse.”
“Yay! Just so you know Sera, I’m a hugger and I can’t help it. Just kick me if I start snuggling into you during the night.”
“Will do.”
‘This seems like a reasonable way of getting over my injuries. I’m not all that cuddly, but for this dragon… I could make an exception.’
Getting comfortable in bed, I finish the last of my drink and nearly spit the rest of it out when Lena continues to surprise and shock me.
“Hey Sera… I think I’m gay.”
Right as the small amount of alcohol finally kicks my sorry little elven hide, Lena comes out with something like that! It doesn’t help the adorable shit can’t even wait for us to go to sleep first before going in for a cuddle, right up against my back. It’s nice and all, but she’s exploiting me!
...
Who am I kidding? I’m not even close to being tipsy or exploitable yet.
“Great time to b- hic, discussing this. Did you just figure that out?”
“Oh, no Sera, I knew that years ago. I’ve long been an outcast to most dragons, none of them understand the idea of not being able to produce offspring.”
“You mea- hic, dragons only get together to produce eggs?”
“You have no idea, Sera, being in the valley during mating season is torture. Dragons are extremely infertile so the only way to keep the population stable is by humping as much as possible.”
'Isn’t that great? The place Lena comes from is one big orgy.'
“Hic, make sure you tell me when you’re in heat then. Don’t plan on being- hic, a dragon’s chew toy.”
“Hehe, this is why I like you, Sera. Sometimes I question if I’m gay or not, being with you confirms it.”
…
Wait wait wait, the fuck? Does that count as a real confession? It sounds like it, but she doesn’t seem to care about what was actually said. Lena just continues to snuggle into me. I’d be well in my right to kick her away right now, wouldn’t I? As if I could ever do such a thing.
‘I’m so confused. Does she like me or is it “Sera” she likes? I’m still a dude at heart, so is that a problem if she’s gay? Although, I doubt I would give up this avatar if I had the choice. Eh, don’t overthink this. Just go with the flow and see what happens…’