“Damn it! How long is this going to go on!?”
“Heh, try to ignore it, Lena. It’ll pass soon enough.”
“I just can’t, Sera! It’s too freaking loud and annoying… ya know I got hit by it once?”
“You’ve been hit by it before?”
“Yes! You should’ve seen my scales that week, I looked like a cobweb with how the markings marked into me!”
Crack! Lightning and thunder light up the world outside as the heavens pour, me and Lena sit beside our campfire cooking grub as we look on at the drenched world outside. You wouldn’t think it but we’re not long past midday.
As for why we’re in a random cave in the middle of nowhere, it just comes down to questing really.
Earlier this morning, we received the next quest on our budding adventure regarding a missing adventurer, unrelated to the ruins we previously went to. Apparently, we were supposed to head to another set of ruins but this takes priority because one of the adventurer’s has a wealthy father. Didn’t care enough to ask more, just that this should be a quick job.
We were scanning the vast horizon for the places he was last seen around the Badlands, but we had to abandon that quickly when the skies opened up and hell broke down upon Seraph. The first drops of rain I’m yet to see in this world and boy, it doesn’t disappoint.
[QUESTLOG][Details][Risk][Reward][Continue your odyssey and someday a cure may present itself for Lena's affliction.][Unknown][Unknown][Find evidence that the baron's son is either dead or alive, then present the evidence to the guild.][Low][Low]“Heh, just focus on the food, Lena. They should be done now.”
“Okay… this is gonna be dope!”
Having cooked up some of that mantis from yesterday, both steaks appear done, mine with a slight sear while Lena’s looks as rare as it possibly can be.
Because we’re total animals and not because carrying cutlery is a waste of space, we tuck in to our chunks of meat and the taste hits my tiny elven arse in but a moment.
‘Bloody hell… this is sublime.’
Sure, this would be better with some seasoning and some mushrooms to go alongside it, this is better than a regular steak though. It has the texture and flavour of a ribeye yet you can’t taste any gristle or fat, it’s superb. Lena wanted the fattier cut so that’s what she got.
It also has a slightly fishy taste to it as well, almost like lobster the longer you chew. No idea why, we killed a mantis, not a mantis shrimp. Either way, it’s like having a mouthful of surf and turf.
“Can you smell th- fuck! Thunder sucks so much!”
“Heh…. unfortunately I can, Lena. That can’t be good.”
Along with smell of seared meat, something else catches me and Lena’s attention, just as the thunder continues to pound into the Badlands. A pungent egg or rotting smell floats on by… that can only be one thing.
We put our steaks down on a convenient rock and ready ourselves, both equipping our iron weapons and heading further down into the dingy cave.
The pungent smell becomes more prevalent the further we walk from the fire; it just has to be a corpse. Let’s hope the culprit is long gone and we haven’t stumbled across a bear cave or something. Great, walking red flag, Sera.
Crack! Another batch of rumbling lightning strike just as we arrive where the cave ends, making Lena jump and fall all in one movement. Don’t ask, even I can’t help but eyeroll with how much she hates lightning. She really is part puppy with how loud noises make her scared.
“Seraphim be damned, why must you curse me like this! Erm… shit…”
Right next to where Lena has fallen is the reason for the smell. It’s a body alright, a crimson red adorns her broken face alongside a bloodied rock. Think we’ve found the murder weapon as well.
‘Is it bad I’m already getting used to this now?’
This woman isn’t alone as four more sit up against the wall, all as lifeless but with differing wounds to the woman herself. With all the cuts and missing limbs, the others must’ve died by blade.
‘This grotesque scene is giving me a sense of déjà vu…’
“Lena… I think these are the people responsible for those ruins.”
Their faces… I’ve seen them before. Unfortunately, this is unrelated to the quest we’re currently on. This is just what life in the Badlands holds, I guess. Death, more death, and even more death.
“The five in your vision, Sera? Are you seeing another one now?”
Just as Lena asks me that, guess who chimes in with another notification?
[A new vision is available for Sera to view; this guide predicts it should be easier to handle this time. This vision appears to be from someone else’s lenses.]
‘Gotcha, let’s go have a look then.’
But wait, before I see firsthand what happened, I really should talk seriously to Lena.
“Have I got permission to check, Lena? I’m being told it should be safe but you never know.”
Even though Lena may giggle from me asking her for permission, I’d rather not start hugging her neck again. At least until things develop in a way where it would make sense to, like let’s say a certain situation inside a bedroom for example. Do I have to spell it out?
“Hehe, of course you do, silly. Just go ahead, Sera, I’ll be fine.”
“Heh, well okay then. You shouldn’t have to sit on me at least if things are okay.”
‘Why is she looking at me with slight disappointment now? Heh, freaking dragons…’
__________
…
Silence fills the cave as the only sound to be heard is the General flipping through pages of his book, every break we’ve had ever since we started travelling has been like this. Thankfully, this should now be over once we get back and receive the coin. I only hope he sticks to his word and we don’t get screwed over.
This person, some call him the General, we all knew he was bad news from the start. I’ve never seen someone so calm and collected when it comes to killing innocents, it’s like everything we’ve done up to this point has been enjoyable to him.
“Erm… any of us know why that other town was destroyed? I was so looking forward to showing those selfish brats a piece of my mind!”
‘Oh Danja… you really never learn.’
“You never listen, do you Danja? They all were deserted to begin with.”
“Yeah, we’re just making sure they remain as such. Everyone knows people shouldn’t settle around here, it’s taboo.”
“*Eyeroll’s*.”
“Y-Yeah…”
Sometimes… I really wish I had spoken up and convinced the others this wasn’t a good idea. Every night, the fire and screams haunt my dreams. The things we’ve done, even Seraphim wouldn’t be able to forgive us. We sold our souls for coin; our sins cannot be forgiven even with a lifetime of redemption.
“I’ve got to admit… it did feel nice knowing we’ll never be scammed again by the guild.”
“Eh, I don’t care either way. We kill, we get paid, it's that simple."
“*Nods*.”
“Yeah, how many times did they keep giving us the shitty jobs like collecting herbs? Bitch please, how the feck are we to find herbs in a place that don’t grow shit!?”
‘There’s so much blood on our hands are they’re actually trying to justify it!?’
It also doesn’t help how everyone seems so relaxed to committing mass murder, all were happy to accept the General’s coin and I’m the only one who appears to be regretting our actions!
“You want?”
In my plight of fear and regret, I hadn’t realized where I was looking and it must look like I’m curious on the book he flicks through. He terrifies me so much, I guess I’ve just got to try and play it off.
“E-Erm… thanks.”
He passes me the book; I open it up and the contents are honestly quite disturbing. People read this kind of stuff to relax? Everyone knows otherworlders are bad but I don’t need a book to prove it…
The Otherworlder Scourge
Spoiler
As I stare out over the vast horizon, overlooking the barren land the Badlands is famous for and all those forgotten souls lost to time and ruin, just one thought plagues my mind. Are the otherworlders really worth all the hatred and anger?
The scourge the Seraph, more hated than the false worshippers of Seraphim to the far east or even the rapist orcs to the west. All those who aren’t born of this continent fit the description of scum, the ones who first arrived in the Badlands hundreds of years ago are the pinnacle of what evilness is all about.
They salted the earth, destroyed everything and every person they came into contact with along with showing next to no remorse even to defenceless children. And for what purpose? Power? Wealth? Fame? None know of their reasoning, just that the common folk suffered greatly for their desire for death.
But, are they really worth despising that much? Yes, yes they are. The Badlands once were filled with cities bristling with life, but once the otherworlders came along three hundred years ago, they brought the only thing they’re good at. Dealing in death…
[collapse]
[Intelligence improvement +1] ‘Bloody hell, this book isn’t trying to hide its bias. Wait… Guide? Is this me or the woman I’m watching through?’
[Sera can thank this guide for this, took the liberty of tweaking some values to allow Sera more freedom. This guide also suggests you don’t think too heavily otherwise the vision may become distorted.]
Noticing firsthand what the guide is referring to, the area behind and to the side of this General person starts to distort. Best try not to focus too heavily and just see how things go.
Back to acting brainless, something appears to be happening as that Danja chick looks like she’s about to do or say something stupid. Yep, called it.
“So… how many people did you have to kill to get a sweet set of armour like that?”
“None… found it.”
“You found it? Where the hell does someone find a legendary set as powerful as that!? I’m calling bullshit!”
“Believe what you want.”
“You don’t exactly talk much, do you? No much for conversation, are your mysterious backer?”
“No.”
“Or even eat much… you that self-conscious about your face? Bet you look really ugly under that helmet!”
“…”
The four of us have tried our best to keep Danja’s curiosity at bay but she keeps poking and prodding at this guy, so much so we’ve just given up now. If he punches, kicks or even chokes her again, there’s not much we can really do.
“Whatever… yoink!”
However, what we don’t expect is just how far Danja wants to take this. For the first time ever, she actually tries to take it off by force!
The blackened dagger of the General seems to teleport from his waist, into his hand and through Danja’s chest before she even gets a finger on the armour. Blood seems to spatter in slow motion.
“DANJA, NOOO!!!”
“That was her way of flirting with you, idiot! Danja…”
“W-What the hell is your p-problem? No n-no no…”
“*Facepalm*.”
I desperately run over to Danja, healing potion in hand but I’m unable to even get a heartbeat from our fallen friend. Just how much damage did that dagger do!?
But, before I get the chance to try applying any potion or even healing spell, a heavy hand seems to pick me up from my own collar and I’m forced away from Danja.
“Had hoped to make this a public display, guess the loose ends need dealing with now. No matter… I’m still going to enjoy this.”
I turn my neck slightly and see my own reflection in the helmet, my own eyes pleading in the polished bloodstone of which his armour is created from.
‘Is that… a rock…’
__________
And just like that, the vision fades with the last thing I see being a face full of rock. There are still so many unanswered questions about this General person, the main being why is he doing this? I’m doubtful he’s the sort of person to answer though.
When my vision finally returns and I can see more than a dark blur in front of me, my surroundings have completely changed. It looks like I’m back at the campfire and there appears to be a human looking lizard on top of me. I wonder how she got there…
“Heya Lena… you comfy?”
Sitting on top of me with her knees tightly tucking in my arms, she tries her best to hold back the giggles but Lena just can’t help herself. She’s finding this way too funny and even I’m finding this worth smiling over. Yep, sometimes this stoic looking elven face can smile when I force it to.
“Hehe, of course not, Sera. I’m just doing my sworn duty making sure you’re safe.”
Surprisingly, Lena is lighter than you’d think and being used as a cushion isn’t the worst fate I could imagine. It’s nice and snug here, the rain outside drizzling as well could even put me to sleep. I think the thunder has finally passed as well.
“You seem awfully comfortably on top of me… getting revenge for the amount of riding I’ve been doing?”
Lena blushes just a dash from my comment, she’s so damn adorable when she’s happy.
“Hehe, you’re imagining things, Sera. It’s a long night and every dragon requires a place to sleep. Or even a nest to cuddle into.”
“Come on, get off me already… you’re not moving. Heh, I’m not your poxy nest, Lena.”
“Yup! Yes you are! Like you just said, I’m nice and comfy here. Why should I move from my new nest?”
I can’t help but shake my head and even eyeroll the crazy dragon holding me hostage, let me go! Sure, she’s lightweight enough that I could just force her off, that’s beyond the point!
“So, your grand plan is to turn me into your nest? Always knew you were coocoo, Lena.”
“Yup, crazy as they come, Sera. I could be convinced to get up… but it’ll take an awful lot to remove a dragon from such a comfy and adorable nest. Maybe you can think of something?”
And now, my eyerolling turns into something resembling a bigger smile when she starts wiggling ever so slightly still up on top of me. She’s batshit crazy and I’m all for it.
“Heh. So, in order to free myself of the dragon crushing me, you’re demanding payment? Say… would a kiss be valuable enough? I’m not sure what else I can offer.”
“What are you talking about, Sera? Oh, you really want to kiss me that badly!? I’d have gotten up if you asked nicely. Now you want us to kiss!?”
Like usual, the grin on her face grows wider and dopier by the second.
“Yeah yeah, bloody dragon. The ball is in your park here, you’ll have to do mos-”
I can’t help but shut myself up when she places both hands on my rosy cheeks, her fluster growing as quickly as my own. I want this just as much as her even if both of us can’t help but make a joke out of this. Who needs a serious relationship anyways?
And then, she leans in even closer, so much so, I have to say something.
“Absolutely beauti-”
But this time, she cuts me off in a way as romantic as possible. We lock lips for the very first time… she tastes and smells of strawberry. She was eating more sweets when I was out.
‘That was… wow. I’m not sure if her face or my hair is redder.’
“Lena… you do know you just stole my first kiss, right? To think I had to use it as payment as well!”
Twenty-two years old and this honestly is the first time I’ve ever done something like this, life be like that I suppose. Not much to really say there, never had any interest before. Now it looks like I’ve ended up in the claws of this sly dragon.
“Hehe, mine as well, Sera! That was dope, wanna do it again?”
“Do I have a choice?”
“Silly Sera, of course you do. You just need to decide how long I’m going to do it for! Several minutes or several hours?
“Eh, a few minutes definitely sounds tempting. Think a few hours will work better.”
And again, we shut eyes and Lena locks lips with me, this time the taste is less of strawberry. I think I might be even redder than her, the passion is driving me wild…
__________
‘Phew, I really need some alone time. That was… riveting.’
“W-We done now, Sera?”
“Heh, think so. You mind getting off? Back is starting to ache now.”
“Oh, y-yeah Sera… I’ll get off. P-Please know that wasn’t a r-reflection of how much I like you or anything like that.”
“Heh, like you too… tsun-dragon.”
After a suspiciously long time being kept in that position as Lena’s kissing doll, no complaints here, it’s now time for something else. Sure, I’d love to repay the favour and get her back but for my own safety, and libido, best to end on a high note. Always leave the both of us wanting more…
[During that vision, Sera reached level 10 in intelligence upon reading the contents of that book. status has been updated accordingly and new abilities are available to purchase.]
[STATUS][Name: Sera][Species: Elf][Level: 5][EXP: 141/150][Age: 22][Gender: Female][Skill Points: 1][Health][135/135][Stamina][83/115][Magic][105/105] [STATS]
Spoiler
Extra bonuses from P.I.S.S.E.D.
PER:
5% Archery Damage
1% Critical Chance
INT:
+5 Magic
-1% Spell Costs
SPE:
+5 Stamina
1% Bartering
END:
+5 Health
1% Armour Resistance
DEX:
5% One-Handed Damage
1% Movement Speed
[collapse]
[Perception: 10][Intelligence: 10][Speechcraft: 10][Strength: 8][Endurance: 10][Dexterity: 13]‘Funny how I’m getting reductions to things I can’t even use yet, seems a little strange to me.’
I’m think this is a development issue, like originally I was supposed to be allowed to use magic but at some point, it was removed but the old system was still in place. Heh, this world really is a like a game, it even has bad developer choices thrown into it.
‘Oh well. You know, Guide, it took an awful long time for you to tell me about that status update.’
[Sera was busy tending to biological needs; this guide wasn’t going to intervene.]
‘Heh, bet you enjoyed watching along, didn’t you Guide?’
[It appears Sera has lost several braincells from previous action, this guide suggests reserving moments like that for extremely rare occasions.]
‘Heh, but not stopping them completely, right? Knew you were a pervert, Guide.’
[…]
Now knowing I’ve pissed off the voice inside my head, I still continue to smile about the whole thing even as Lena cuddles up to my side. It is strange how I was able to gain intelligence from someone else’s point of view though.
[ABILITIES][OWNED] [LOCKED][Name] [Description] [Requirements][Cooldown][Animal Whisperer]
Spoiler
Grants the ability to tame animals and use them for your bidding. However, the success chance is based on the target’s level compared to the user’s.
[collapse]
Perception: 10[N/A][Mixology] [New]
Spoiler
Unlocks the ability to brew potions from within the system itself using INT as quality (Alongside a basic ingredient book, locked to the avatar).
[collapse]
Intelligence: 10[N/A][Born Chef] [New]
Spoiler
The flavour of food is enhanced and can even provide some tiny stat bonuses briefly after consumption.
[collapse]
Intelligence: 10[N/A][Novice Bard]
Spoiler
Now following in the footsteps of many an aspiring bard, you can pick an instrument of choice and/or sing to provide ample distraction on a weaker target when needed.
[collapse]
Speechcraft: 10[N/A][Shield Novice]
Spoiler
Shield bashing is now a legitimate form of attacking (24dmg), albeit a weak form. The attack bypasses armour though.
[collapse]
Endurance: 10[N/A][Fertility]
Spoiler
Heavily increases chances of conceiving and “endurance” within the bedroom, perfect for building a budding family. Useful for you and your partner!
[collapse]
Endurance: 10[N/A][Land Down Under]
Spoiler
Sneaking is easier on your back and you move when in touching distance to the ground at a vastly superior rate. Bog standard technique for hunting down those pesky roos!
[collapse]
Dexterity: 10 [N/A]‘Wow, I’m liking the sound of both these abilities. Only one really stands out though.’
Sera, the adventuring alchemist, by day fights for her life alongside a dragon, but by night, spends her time trying to brew a potion that inflicts vampirism rather than cures it. If I put it that way, I’m definitely buying that.
As soon as I purchase the new ability, the status bar at the top updates giving me another category to work with. No point opening that up when it's not needed yet.
[STATUS][ABILITIES][STORAGE][MAGIC][QUESTLOG][CRAFTING][Since this ability comes with an in-system book, this guide will redirect Sera now.]
[STORAGE][WEAPONS][ARMOUR] [Name][Quality] [Weight] [Name][Quality] [Weight][Iron Dagger][Weakened]1[N/A] 0[Wooden Bow][Weakened]1.5[N/A] 0[CONSUMABLE][MISCELLANEOUS] [Name] [Weight] [Name] [Weight][Waterskin: Filled]1[Adventurer's Guild ID - Sera]0[Waterskin: Partially Filled]0.5[N/A]0[Raw Mantis Meat] x21[N/A]0[Alchemist's Book]
Spoiler
[Potion Type][Solid Ingredient][Fluid Ingredient]HealthHealing HerbsGlacial WaterStaminaEnergetic HerbsGlacial WaterMagicMagi OreGlacial WaterHealth PoisonHealing HerbsDemonic WaterStamina PoisonEnergetic HerbsDemonic WaterMagic PoisonMagi OreDemonic WaterAphrodisiacSuccubus CoreSea WaterNight VisionPurple CarrotSea WaterWater BreathingShark's ToothSea WaterSpeedCheetah's BloodSwamp WaterJumpingRabbit's FootSwamp WaterCarry WeightCamel's ToeSwamp WaterWeight GainTroll FatOasis WaterWeight LossAvocadosOasis WaterInvisibilityGriffin HeartOasis WaterPerceptionSalmon RoeMineral WaterIntelligenceOpiumMineral WaterSpeechcraftGold CoinMineral WaterStrengthOrc BloodMineral WaterEnduranceSuccubus SalivaMineral WaterDexterityCoffee PlantMineral WaterCure DiseasePearlHoly WaterCure PoisonSnake VenomHoly WaterExperienceDragon HeartHoly Water[Current INT Range: 10 - 29] [Brewing Quality: Weakened][collapse]
0 [CURRENCY: 154c][CAPACITY: 10.5/11.5]‘Wow… this is surprisingly simplistic yet I bet it’s a real pain in the arse to find some of these ingredients.’
Twenty-four recipes given, of course some potions being way more useful than others.
What’s this quality level thing, Guide? Guess that means the quality of potion is going to be abysmal?’
[Correct Sera. For example, a health potion at your current INT level would only heal 10%. As for the actual creation time itself, a single potion takes 24 hours to automatically brew as well.]
‘Let me guess, you can’t chug multiple potions in combat to make up for the deficiency?’
[Correct again, Sera. Only 1 potion can be in effect at a time, as well as a 3-hour cooldown timer for drinking the same type of potion. Even this guide thinks this could be less restrictive.]
Eh, I’m not going to complain because I can see this being really useful in the end game, just for now potions might be too weak to bother with. Hopefully, I can remind myself to collect water and ingredients as we traverse the world.
[Huh, this guide has noticed something else as well. In addition to the ability and book, a new quest has been added to the log.]
[QUESTLOG][Details][Risk][Reward][Continue your odyssey and someday a cure may present itself for Lena's affliction.][Unknown][Unknown][Find evidence that the baron's son is either dead or alive, then present the evidence to the guild.][Low][Low][The Alchemist's Bucket List.] [0/24][Extreme][Insane]‘A miscellaneous side quest to go as well? Heh, now I’m dreading this… the reward better not be a golden crown or a golden turd.’
You know exactly what quests I’m referring to, collect dozens of feathers or gems for a reward that feels underwhelming. Oh well, at least it’s something to do in the background.
‘Better keep an eye out for potion stuff during our adventure then. Heh, what’s the bet there is some type of love potion in the world?’
But, before we set off on course to find the most potent aphrodisiac possible, Lena’s face fills with despair and she tries her best to hold back tears.
“Damn it, Sera! We forgot something!”
“What is it, Lena?”
“Our freaking steaks! All I wanted was one simple pleasure in life but nooo. It’s always the thunder’s fault, I freaking hate it so much!”
The sorry pieces of meat still sit on the rock, cold as ice and now look really sad. I can see why Lena might shed a tear to this, life is unjust sometimes. We could just reheat it but it won’t be as good.
“Heh, so thunder is the bane of our existence, got it. I’d suggest we wage war, but it might be an antagonist too powerful for the both of us…”