Bai Li reluctantly hopped off Tan Bowen, who dusted himself down with exaggerated movements, and carefully wound his hair back up.
"He is a macaque," Tan Bowen muttered grumpily to himself. "Or more likely an ox. Great lumping brute ... What's your birth year Bai Li? Are you an ox? You definitely seem like one," he flung the insult at him.
"No. I'm the tiger," said Bai Li implacably. "Though I wouldn't care if I was the ox. I assume you're the monkey. Or the rat."
"The pig," said Tan Bowen.
The other two snorted with laughter.
"Figures," said Bai Li. "You remind me of Pigsy. He also loves wine and women."
"Pigsy lives life to the fullest," Tan Bowen sniffed. "I won't take that to heart. I'd take his adventures over Tripitaka's any day. I appreciate beauty, but I treat beauty with the utmost respect. A precious jewel deserves happiness and pampering. No harsh words, nor infidelity. Disputation is not for cherubs."
It was clear which 'cherub' he was imagining and the other two lowered their brows at him.
Who knew what kind of trickery this man would use in the coming months. Artists knew all kinds of helpful knowledge that was alien to a military man.
The Prince called over his chief guard.
"Sergeant Wu, compensate the shopkeeper for this damage and order us three bottles of wine."
"Yes, your highness."
The wine arrived swiftly from the well-paid owner of the teahouse, who bowed in thanks.
"Please come back regularly and destroy my shop. Let this be the scene of all your fights. I will always welcome you with open arms."
The three men looked at him quizzically. It seemed Sergeant Wu had overpaid the man.
The Prince looked over at his sergeant, who turned his back studiously, seemingly occupied giving orders.
"Okay..." said the Prince. "You have our apologies for the mess."
"No, no, no," the man demurred as he set down the wine. "I'm eternally grateful for your generosity fine sir. Please, drink to your hearts' content. Stay as long as you like! I can make those benches into beds if you get weary."
The old man shuffled off, whistling a jaunty tune.
"I haven't even recovered from yesterday's hangover," Tan Bowen sighed as he downed his first cup of wine.
"This is a conversation that requires alcohol," the Prince said morosely. "It seems we're at an impasse. Is there anything we can agree on?"
"Yes," said Bai Li. "This is a secret that we can never speak of beyond the three of us. We must take care that the Mei brothers never get wind that it was us, or who knows what they'll do. I know what I'd do in their shoes..."
The other two nodded vigorously. They could at least agree on that much.
"It's clear that all three of us have feelings for her," sighed Tan Bowen.
"Not me," said Bai Li stiffly.
The other two shot him withering looks.
"Is that why you rushed to speak with your father to ask for her hand in marriage?" Tan Bowen said sarcastically.
"It's what I should do in the circumstances," maintained Bai Li stubbornly. "It's what I must do."
"And you'd do the same if she was ugly as sin, would you?"
"Yes," he said flatly. "My mistake, my responsibility. No excuses."
"Well, luckily for you, you have a good fate. She turns out to be one of the great beauties of her generation, so your hardship's somewhat alleviated. I'm sure you shed a tear this morning thinking how you'll have to wake up to her face every day for the rest of your life."
"Ease up on that sharp tongue of yours Tan Bowen," said the Prince. "It's already landed you in hot water today. Just generally, you might want to think before you speak if you want to preserve that pretty face of yours."
"I'm glad you think my face is pretty your highness," Tan Bowen smiled facetiously.
Tan Bowen was incorrigible thought Bai Li, questioning his choice of friends. This man would continue to get him into scrapes, as sure as night becomes day.
"Each of us believes that we're the best-suited man for her," Tan Bowen continued his train of thought.
They all nodded.
"Well, it's pretty clear there's only one solution we can all live with ... We must let her choose freely among the three of us ... and may the best man win!" he pumped his fist. "We all agree to play by gentlemen's rules. No underhand tactics, no pulling rank," Tan Bowen shook his finger at the Prince. "No, 'I saw her first so I must take responsibility'."
They both glared at Bai Li.
The Prince thumped his fist to his chest in assent. "I agree. But only among the three of us. If any other man tries for her hand, even the Emperor, we must act as one to eliminate him ... From the competition, I mean, not from this earth," he helpfully clarified.
Bai Li felt an unfamiliar itch in his heart. He'd expected he might extract a promise of a future betrothal tomorrow. He felt the little ball of suppressed joy he didn't know he'd been nurturing, deflate like a burst cuju ball.
He was convinced of the 'rightness' of his position. He was only doing what he should do, nothing more, nothing less.
How could another man marry Mei Meili after what he had seen? His ears turned red just at the thought, and he shifted uncomfortably on his seat.
While the young lady was undeniably a great beauty, he didn't believe in love at first sight...
Though he had to admit that those dawn images were seared into his brain where they were currently plaguing him on a dizzying rate of reruns.
"Alright," he agreed reluctantly, "but I'm not withdrawing my betrothal discussions".
"No problem, no problem," the Prince agreed lightly. "She has to make it through the palace concubine selections before a betrothal promise can be acted on anyway, and there's no way she won't be selected. That's the first problem to be solved," the prince tapped the table firmly with his finger. "It'll require all of our combined intelligence to come up with a plan to avoid the palace selections."
Tan Bowen had been ticking on this problem during his sleepless morning.
"At least we can guarantee we'll have the full support of the Mei brothers, keeping her out of the harem," said Bai Li gloomily. "You underestimate them at your peril. They've kept her very existence under wraps for sixteen years. That takes skill, discipline, co-operation. With the size of their household, it's a large-scale conspiracy, probably backed by threats to have been maintained for so long."
"We'll have their support right up until they realise that our motives are impure," the Prince mused, "then they'll turn on us".
"It's only right," Tan Bowen nodded. "A pearl like that must be carefully protected."
"Let's drink to that," the Prince downed his next cup glumly.
The three settled in for a long, alcohol-filled afternoon, each man already laying his plans for beating his friends to this glittering prize.