Wang Ru raised both thumbs confidently. “No problem! Everyone was incredibly enthusiastic, and we had more people sign up than there were places almost immediately. They said they’d have a showdown on the sports field after school today to decide who gets the four precious spots, so I wrote everyone’s names down first. I’ll cross out the extras later.”
Jiang Wan thought for a moment. “Then I’ll sign up too.”
Wang Ru: “Huh?”
Jiang Wan picked up her pen and wrote her name in the shot put section. “After all, who could possibly resist the temptation of throwing grenades?”
Since the school had organized it, they must have already considered the safety issues.
Wang Ru was convinced. “That’s true. Then remember to come to the sports field before six-thirty this evening for the selection competition.”
Jiang Wan: “Okay.”
…
When Jiang Wan said “Okay,” she had assumed that the competition taking place on the sports field would, at the very least, have something to do with shot put.
However, when she arrived, there wasn’t a single shot put anywhere on the ground.
Sure enough, she should never attempt to judge these people using ordinary logic.
Standing among the crowd, Jiang Wan sighed. “So what are we competing in?”
“We are the flowers of our motherland, the successors of socialism, and, above all, students who absorb knowledge like sponges while we’re at school!” The class monitor spoke dramatically into a megaphone. “Therefore, the selection competition will naturally be—a GENERAL KNOWLEDGE QUIZ!!”
Jiang Wan: “…”
There are so many things wrong with that statement. Forget it. I’m tired.
The Class Six contestants protested vehemently.
“Why are we using a general knowledge quiz to determine the results of a shot put competition?!”
“Exactly! Shouldn’t we be choosing the competitors with the strongest arms and the most consistent performance to bring glory to Class Six?”
However, the class monitor had an overwhelming advantage thanks to the megaphone.
“Because this is a recreational event that doesn’t award any points!! Just admit it! You people only want to throw grenades! If it were an ordinary shot put competition, none of you would be interested!”
“…Well, that’s true, but did you have to say it out loud?!”
“Doesn’t shot put deserve some dignity?! Apologize to the shot put and the grenades!”
The class monitor had absolutely no intention of acknowledging their protests.
“Next, I’ll announce the rules! I’ll ask a question, and everyone must answer in order. Using your phones is prohibited. Anyone who answers incorrectly or cannot answer will immediately be disqualified from the grenade-throwing competition!”
“Class monitor, I object!”
“You’re disqualified!”
“…I HAVEN’T EVEN SAID ANYTHING YET!”
After a period of chaos, the general knowledge quiz finally began.
The class monitor glanced at her phone. “Name a country that the Tropic of Cancer passes through. Begin!”
Jiang Wan: “…”
Are you an undercover agent sent by the geography teacher?
The first student answered without hesitation. “My motherland!”
“Myanmar!”
“The United Arab Emirates!”
“The United States!”
“India!”
“…Aus-Australia?”
The surrounding students roared at him.
“THAT’S IN THE SOUTHERN HEMISPHERE!!”
Wang Ru mercilessly crossed out a name.
The class monitor checked her phone again. “Next question! Name a substance that is commonly a white solid. Continue from where we left off. Begin!”
Jiang Wan: “…”
This is getting increasingly suspicious.
“Calcium oxide!”
“Calcium hydroxide!”
“Ah, that’s what I was going to say! Wait… sodium chloride!”
“Potassium chloride!”
…As everyone knew, in competitions where contestants had to name examples one after another, the beginning was easy, but things became increasingly difficult toward the end.
By the time Jiang Wan’s turn arrived, nearly everything covered in junior high school chemistry had already been mentioned.
Jiang Wan thought for a moment before calmly answering under everyone’s eager gazes, all of them hoping to see her eliminated.
“Anhydrous copper sulfate.”
“…Damn it! That counts too?!”
“Why didn’t I think of that?!”
The next student in line after Jiang Wan was eliminated in utter astonishment.
After chemistry came physics, followed by mathematics, Chinese, history, English, and then geography again.
Nobody except Jiang Wan thought there was anything strange about this.
Everyone threw themselves into the competition with tremendous enthusiasm until only three girls and two boys remained.
The class monitor announced, “All right! The two places for the boys have been decided!”
Wang Ru stepped forward and raised the arms of the two boys, one on each side, tears glistening in his eyes.
“Brothers, you can be proud of yourselves!”
Jiang Wan applauded along with everyone else before suddenly realizing something.
Oh no. I almost forgot we’re competing for places in a grenade-throwing event. I actually started treating this like a proper academic competition.
“Now for the final round!” The class monitor climbed onto the flag-raising platform. “I’m going to ask a difficult question. Contestants, prepare yourselves to face the storm!”
Everyone except Jiang Wan held their breath and stared at the class monitor, waiting for the question.
The class monitor slowly lowered her phone.
“…Who stole the cushion from Teacher Wang’s ergonomic chair?!”
Jiang Wan: “…”
Your ulterior motive has been exposed. Completely exposed.
The girl standing beside Jiang Wan answered without even a second’s hesitation.
“Zhou He took it!”
Zhou He, who happened to be standing nearby, was horrified.
“You’re seriously betraying me just for a grenade-throwing competition?!”
The girl replied with merciless indifference, “Do you have any idea what you’re up against? These are GRENADES!”
Teacher Wang charged out from behind the flag-raising platform, radiating murderous intent.
“ZHOU HE, YOU LITTLE BRAT! STOP RIGHT THERE!”
As Zhou He fled with his hands over his head, a fragment of Jiang Wan’s memory was suddenly triggered.
“I think it was put in a storage cabinet in the audiovisual room. The last time I went there, I saw a corner sticking out. It looked a little like Teacher Wang’s cushion.”
“Wait, the audiovisual room… You mean Teacher Liu’s room?”
“Uh, was Zhou He trying to play matchmaker out of kindness?”
“But wouldn’t that just make Teacher Liu look like some kind of cushion-stealing pervert…?”
“Is he stupid?”
“Definitely stupid.”
At some point, the class monitor had climbed down from the flag-raising platform.
She began reciting poetically, “What races along the track beneath the setting sun is not Zhou He’s legs, but our youth, never to return.”
Jiang Wan glanced at her. “How many teachers were in on this with you?”
The class monitor stuck out her tongue and showed Jiang Wan her phone.
On the screen was a group chat containing twenty people—just enough for a group of subject teachers and the class monitors from every class.
Jiang Wan: “…”
A conspiracy.
This was a conspiracy using grenades as bait!
…
Apart from The Athletes’ March playing on an endless loop, what was the most important part of a school sports meet?
Jiang Wan sat on the announcers’ platform, casually flipped through the event schedule, and set it aside. Then she picked up a small note that had just been passed up from below and slowly unfolded it.
—Naturally, it was the various traditional performances that students could improvise freely and that the school had absolutely no control over!
Jiang Wan leaned toward the microphone and read aloud.
“To a certain someone competing in the boys’ 400-meter race from Second-Year Class Six: I’ve already added milk to your sports drink, knowing that your lactose intolerance will give you diarrhea. I know you took just one sip, thought the drink had gone bad, and threw it away, but there’s still hope! From: God’s Left Hand.”
The PE teacher beside her: “…”
Are we actually allowed to broadcast that?
The principal, who happened to be walking past: “…”
I’ll have to seriously emphasize the importance of fair competition at the next teachers’ meeting.
Although students displayed their extraordinary talents in this manner every year, everyone thoroughly enjoyed themselves.
It had practically become a distinctive tradition of Quanzhou Foreign Language School.
Not far away, the seating area for Second-Year Class Six erupted into furious chaos.
“WHO DID IT?!”
“Yu Si, SPIT IT OUT! I’M GOING TO PERFORM THE HEIMLICH MANEUVER ON YOU RIGHT NOW!”
“Egg whites! Egg whites can be used to wash out your stomach! I’ll go steal some eggs from the cafeteria for you!!”
“WOULD YOU ALL CALM DOWN?! I’M FINE!”
Without looking in their direction, Jiang Wan unfolded the next note and continued reading.
“Offering a generous reward for information about Yue Mingshi’s weaknesses. Does he have any food allergies or anything he particularly cares about? I’ll immediately exploit them to make things difficult for him. Anyone willing to exchange information can meet me in the restroom on the west side of the second floor of Building Seven.”
As she reached the end, Jiang Wan chuckled softly.
“Did you hear that, Yue Mingshi?”
Yue Mingshi, who was working at the check-in station nearby: “…”
Jiang Wan put down the note, covered the microphone, and turned toward the vice president of the Broadcasting Club seated beside her.
“I’m going out for a moment.”
The vice president asked, “Where are you going? Forget it, pretend I didn’t ask. The restroom on the west side of the second floor of Building Seven, right?”
The PE teacher said, “Your microphone is still on.”
Vice president: “Ah. Well, saving a life is better than building a seven-story pagoda. To whoever’s on the west side of the second floor of Building Seven—if you heard that, you might still make it if you start running now.”
…
Building Seven wasn’t far from the sports field.
Two second-year students were squatting just inside the men’s restroom on the second floor, playing a mobile game together.
Their phones had automatically entered Do Not Disturb mode while they were gaming, so not a single message notification had appeared.
“Do you think someone will actually come?”
“Probably not. Isn’t this just one of Quanzhou’s traditional performances? We only came out here to slack off. Besides, everyone knows Yue Mingshi’s weakness. What are you going to do, kidnap Jiang Wan?”
“True. It’s just like trash-talking in a game. It’s all for tactical purposes… Damn! I’VE BEEN CAUGHT! HELP!”
“With gaming skills like yours, you have no business talking about tactics…”
The two struggled through the rest of the match.
Only after finishing did one of them notice that he’d received dozens of messages, all saying exactly the same thing.
RUN—
“Run from what?”
“Is the principal coming?”
“Oh, there’s a voice message. Let me listen.”
The voice message contained a heart-wrenching warning.
“We messed up! The note was sent to Jiang Wan! She’s on her way to Building Seven right now! RUN! YOU MIGHT STILL HAVE A CHANCE TO SURVIVE—”
At that exact moment, Jiang Wan appeared at the restroom entrance.
The two boys grabbed each other in terror and screamed.
“AAAAAAAH!!”
Jiang Wan gave them a friendly smile.
“Which class are you two from?”
The boys exchanged glances.
A few seconds later, one of them shouted, “I-I-I’m… I just remembered! I left my yo-yo in the classroom! I have a condition where I’ll die if I don’t constantly hold my yo-yo, so I have to go back to the classroom right now!”
He immediately tried to dash outside, only for his companion to mercilessly grab him around the waist and stop him.
“YOU’RE ACTUALLY TRYING TO RUN AWAY FIRST?!” the other boy roared. “—Jiang Wan, listen to me! I’m different from him! Teacher Liang just told me he forgot the wooden set square he needs for class. I have to go get it from the classroom right now, or his talent performance will have to become an invisible-prop performance!”
The boy who had first mentioned his yo-yo struggled to reach his schoolbag.
“No problem! I always carry a set square with me!”
With a dramatic swish, he pulled an enormous orange set square out of his bag.
Jiang Wan: “…”
An entirely unexpected development has occurred.
His companion, who had claimed he needed the set square, was even more devastated.
“WHY THE HELL DO YOU HAVE THAT THING IN YOUR BAG?!”
“Isn’t it common sense for second-year students to carry a set square whenever they leave the classroom?”
“WHAT KIND OF COMMON SENSE IS THAT?! ARE YOU INSANE?!”
Jiang Wan stood at the entrance and watched their impromptu comedy routine for quite some time before saying, “I remember now.”
“Eh?”
“Huh?”
“Second-Year Class Three. Chen Tongji and Lin Wenwu,” Jiang Wan said. “You’re roommates, and there are five people between your positions during group exercises. Am I right?”
It had taken her a little time to search her memory and identify them.
Fortunately, they’d been willing to perform a comedy routine to buy her that time.
The moment she finished speaking, the two boys—who were a year ahead of Jiang Wan and several years older—simultaneously retreated in terror.
“W-w-what are you planning to do?! This is the men’s restroom!”
Jiang Wan looked down at the threshold.
She was standing just outside the men’s restroom, while the two boys were inside.
I see. So they think that makes them safe.
But…
Jiang Wan raised her head and smiled.
“Isn’t it common sense for a schoolgirl to charge into the boys’ restroom if that’s what it takes to successfully hunt down a schoolboy?”
“AAAAAAAAAAAH—”
…
“Will the contestants for the first-year girls’ 100-meter preliminary heats please report to the check-in station. I repeat, will the contestants…”
The vice president of the Broadcasting Club was halfway through his announcement when someone sat down in the empty seat beside him.
He finished the announcement and, this time, remembered to switch off the microphone before speaking to Jiang Wan.
“Where did that set square come from?”
Jiang Wan placed the bright yellow-orange set square on the table.
“It’s a prop Teacher Liang needs for his artistic performance.”
Teacher Liang, who had been innocently drinking cola nearby before suddenly being dragged into the conversation, pointed at himself in bewilderment.
Me?