"Moving on is easy until the past looks you in the eyes."
— Murasaki Sumi
015.
As they walked to where the car was waiting to convey them to the pup’s shelter, Astrid couldn’t help gloating at the preparations that were made to welcome her into the Alpha’s palace.
Before she entered to meet the Alpha, maids had already lined up on each side of the entrance, all bowing down to welcome her.
She couldn’t deny it. She felt so powerful.
And inside, the dining hall had already been set. It was unfortunate the Alpha didn’t allow them to use the grand dining hall and made them use his private dining room instead. It wasn’t really to her taste, but watching Seyra serve her made it worth it.
She wasn’t the Lady Royal yet, and she already had this much influence.
"Keep your head down while we walk together, Seyra," Astrid sneered. "I want everyone to know who the superior one is."
Seyra scoffed. "They already know. You don’t need to keep announcing it."
Astrid suddenly stopped in her tracks. She turned to look at Seyra the way one looked at an inconvenient bug on the wall. "I want to make something very, very clear to you, Big sister." She looked Seyra dead in the eye. "You don’t speak when I speak. And you don’t talk back at me. I’ll pardon you for today, but once I become Lady Royal, you won’t be so lucky."
Seyra scoffed. "Are you planning to use your Lady Royal power to bully people?"
Astrid blinked.
"What happened to the innocent little speech you gave in front of the Alpha? What happened to you helping the weak and being their voice, Little sister?" Seyra made sure there was the same bite in her words.
Astrid stared at her, dumbstruck.
After Seyra left, they’d all suspected she must have died. Then they heard she got a guard killed on her first day and was even whipped for questioning authority.
That should have made her know when to speak and when to keep quiet. Who to speak to and who not to question. But it seemed she hadn’t learned her lesson.
The palace they thought would break her wasn’t really doing what it was supposed to.
But that was fine. This was just the second day. By the end of the month, Astrid was certain Seyra would be on her knees, begging to be brought back to her family, and she would make sure Seyra never got that chance.
Astrid snickered and folded her arms. "Bravo. You’ve finally learned to talk back without Cassiel backing you."
Seyra’s expression changed before she could stop it.
Astrid smiled. That was all she needed. "But just so you know, a slut will always be a slut. And trash like you—people who get used and then dumped—will always be trash."
She turned and began walking away.
Seyra stood there for a few seconds, clenching and unclenching her fists. No matter how much she tried not to let Astrid’s words get to her, the she-wolf would always find new ways to make her unhappy and make her feel small.
She inhaled deeply and exhaled before following her.
When she got outside, she was surprised to see Cassiel. He held Astrid’s hands, and just as his eyes and Seyra’s eyes met, Astrid pulled him in for a kiss.
Seyra’s chest tightened, her heart breaking open all over again. She looked away and squeezed her eyes shut.
"Stupid heart," she muttered.
She’d thought she was over this. Over him. But her heart refused to listen.
It still remembered him.
It still remembered the way he used to look at her, the way he used to hold her hands, the way she used to feel safe whenever he was around.
Her eyes burned, and she quickly blinked away the tears threatening to fall.
She hated this.
She hated that after everything he had done, one look at him was enough to make her heart ache all over again.
She had spent two nights trying to convince herself that she no longer cared. She had told herself that Cassiel was nothing but a painful memory now.
But standing there and watching him kiss Astrid made her realize she had been lying to herself.
She still cared.
And she hated herself for it.
"Get into the front seat of the car," Astrid ordered. "I don’t want your filth rubbing off on me and my mate."
Seyra frowned but said nothing. She climbed into the front seat, trying her best not to look at them, and slammed the door immediately.
They got to the pup’s shelter in a few minutes, and Seyra was glad. She was almost going crazy from the sounds Astrid and Cassiel were making at the back. It was like they were purposely being all over each other to hurt her feelings.
It was extremely annoying... and hurtful.
The driver didn’t seem to care, so she just sucked it up and let her mind spiral, trying to shut them out.
They got down from the car, and Seyra smiled genuinely this time. The weight in her chest seemed to lessen as she stared at the little pups running around the playground, close to where they had parked.
She’d just taken a job here to be able to fend for herself. But somehow, this place became one of the many places that gave her peace and a sense of belonging.
Astrid looked around in pure disgust. "By the moon! I hate these tiny creatures!"
"They are wolves like you, Astrid," Cassiel responded.
"I know, but look at them, so puny, so dirty, and so gross!" She frowned with her arms folded.
"They are children still trying to mature into their human forms," Cassiel said and held her hand as he began leading her in.
Astrid reluctantly followed.
"You don’t expect them to be so strong immediately. And if you really want to do this Lady Royal thing, you have to learn to love them and live with it."
Astrid snorted. "That sounds like a problem."
"Would you prefer meeting the Alpha and begging to be by his side instead?" Cassiel asked.
Astrid gasped like he had insulted her. "No! For once, I am glad that he didn’t ask me to stay by his side. He wears a mask all day. It’s so creepy and disgusting. And worse, he is old. What—"
"Shut up before someone hears you, little sister," Seyra scoffed behind her. "Most of these pups have telepathic powers. They might send a message to the Alpha and you will lose your pretty head."
For a second, Astrid looked genuinely terrified. She pressed her mouth into a thin line and remained quiet until they got to the main hall, where the pups and their nanny were trying to solve a wolf-head puzzle.
Isla looked up, her head snapping in Seyra’s direction immediately. "Seyra, you came!" she called, standing to her feet.
That seemed to get the pups’ attention. They yelped, barked, and howled as they rushed to Seyra’s feet, rubbing and licking her.
Seyra chuckled and bent to pat their heads. "Hi, it’s been a while, hasn’t it?"
They licked her hands, and one jumped on her arm. The rest followed until they were all over her, wagging their tails joyfully.
Seyra giggled at their ticklish fur. "Alright, that’s enough."
They listened immediately.
Isla smiled. "I always wonder how you get them to listen to you."
Seyra winked. "It’s our little secret." She turned to them. "Right?"
The pups yelped and barked in response.
Astrid couldn’t believe it. Was she seriously being ignored?
She cleared her throat to draw Isla’s attention.
Isla looked at her, her expression turning neutral. "Oh, welcome to the shelter. I’m sorry I didn’t see you there."
Astrid folded her arms, her face twisting in annoyance. "You should be. Since you’re obviously blind."
"Astrid," Cassiel called to keep her in order.
Seyra sighed and shook her head. "Sorry about that, Isla. This is my sister Astrid and..." She sighed. "The Beta’s son. The Alpha asked her to come check the place out and get a report. She is going to be crowned the Lady Royal in a few days."
A pup walked toward Astrid and rubbed its tail on her. Astrid screamed and moved back. "Get this filthy thing away from me!"
Isla wasn’t impressed. "Getting crowned Lady Royal? Her?"
"Excuse me?" Astrid snapped.
Isla raised an eyebrow. "I was just surprised."
"Surprised about what?"
"That someone who hates pups this much is going to become the Lady Royal."
Astrid’s face darkened. "And who are you to question that?"
"I’m not questioning anything." Isla shrugged. "I’m just saying what I see."
"You should learn to watch your mouth."
"And you should learn to control your temper," Isla fired back.
Cassiel sighed. "Can we please not start this?"
Astrid glared at Isla before looking around the shelter again. "This place is disgusting."
Seyra rolled her eyes. "You’ve said that already."
"And it’s still disgusting."
One of the pups suddenly ran toward Astrid again.
Astrid jumped back. "Keep that thing away from me! Keep all of them away from me! By the goddess!"
The pup stopped, and its ears dropped.
Seyra’s smile disappeared. She crouched down and called the pup toward her. It immediately ran into her arms.
"Don’t mind her," she whispered, rubbing its head. "She doesn’t know any better."
Before Astrid could say anything else, Cassiel spoke up. "We are here because the Alpha wants a report. Let’s just do what we came here to do."
Astrid folded her arms. "Fine." She turned to Isla. "Show me around."