(Starla)
"That’s why," he seethed out, his voice dropping to something dangerous, "I don’t trust you. I don’t trust any human. You are all the same, betrayers and greedy. You see us as monsters to be used and discarded."
He was talking about her. About the girl who destroyed his brother. But he was looking at me like I was her.
I should have defended myself. Should have told him I wasn’t like that, that I would never hurt anyone, that I had come here to help.
But the words wouldn’t come out of my mouth. Because I was a fraud. I was also lying to him. I had already betrayed his trust, and when he was going to find out, he was going to give me a fate worse than death.
I tried to tell myself that this wasn’t the same as that; my intent was not to hurt him, but I was still hiding the truth.
If he finds out who I really am, he will hate me even more.
"I am not her," I said finally, my voice barely above a whisper. I still couldn’t say that he could trust me.
"Prove it," he answered flatly. Sharp ridges of his face were taut with uncontrollable rage. He was staring at me with his burning eyes.
"Prove that you are different," he challenged. "Prove that you are not here to hurt us. Save my brother, and I might believe you. But keep this in your mind, Starla. I will never accept you. You are only here to help my brother, and that’s it."
Somehow it hurt. I knew he would never want me in another capacity, but it still pricked my heart somehow. It was an impossible task. He didn’t know I was dying. He didn’t know I had not much left to give.
But I had come this far, and I had made a promise. I had never broken a promise and will never do.
"I will," I determinedly spoke. "I will save him, that’s my promise."
"If you hurt him by any means or betray us. I won’t hesitate to kill you. There will be no mercy."
His words were callous, and yet I knew they were true. I merely nodded because I had nothing to say or defend myself.
We stood there in the shadow of the Wall, the weight of five hundred years of hatred pressing down on us. I could feel his distrust like a physical thing; an invisible wall separated us as impenetrable as the one behind me.
But beneath the distrust, I felt something else. Something that made my heart beat faster, and my breath catch in my throat.
"Attraction. You are attracted to him. To the Beastman who hates everything you are and your kind," my mind screamed at me.
I shook my head to shake the insane idea. It was impossible. I wasn’t attracted to him.
"We should return soon." He turned away, his voice cold. "I have work to do, and I need to introduce you to my clansmen. Wait here, don’t move from this spot."
I did as he had said. Was he testing me? That girl came here to gather information on the wall, and he brought me along willingly?
Definitely a test. He wanted to see what I would do. Someone must be keeping an eye on me from a distance.
Azkan returned. "Let’s go."
He started walking, and I followed, watching the rigid line of his shoulders, the way he held himself.
He won’t touch me. Not unless he had to and I knew he wasn’t planning to.
I had noticed it in the chamber, and also when I collapsed. He avoided me and kept his distance. Avoided contact. Made sure there was always space between us.
He wasn’t afraid of me. He was afraid of what he might feel if he let himself get close because he had felt that energy between us.
I had felt it too. One flimsy touch and both of us had felt that attraction.
I didn’t know why that thought made my heart ache.
***
We walked in silence, back toward the mountain. There I saw Doodles sprinting towards me.
This cat. I shook my head at his stubbornness.
His little paws navigated the stones with surprising grace. He had followed me out here, of course.
"You couldn’t stay put," I said, a tad cross, earning myself a little meow.
"Your cat," Azkan said abruptly, "is remarkably loyal."
"He has been with me for years."
"And he came with you. Into the Beastworld. Knowing he will never go back."
I glanced down at the little orange tom, who was now sniffing at a rock. "He chose to come. I didn’t make him."
Azkan was quiet for a moment. "I didn’t know humans could inspire such loyalty. Strange." He was baiting me again and I fell for it.
I felt a flash of anger. "We are not all monsters. Irrespective of what you believe."
"No." He glanced at me, his amethyst eyes flashing with contempt. "Some of you just die for strangers."
I stumbled at that moment. A scream erupted from my throat. He caught my elbow, steadying me, before releasing it as if I had burned him.
"Careful," he instructed, his voice clipped. "The path is uneven." But his eyes had blazed with such energy that I felt his touch deep in my bones.
He touched me. Just for a second. And he pulled away as it hurt.
"Thank you," I said quietly. "I will be more careful."
"See that you are." He appeared annoyed that he had to touch me. Was it this repulsive to him?
We continued walking. The silence between us was thick, charged with something neither of us would name.
"Aksel will wake soon," he said finally. "When he does, I want you there."
"I will be there."
"And Starla?"
Our eyes met like a storm. His jaw had gone taut again.
"If you are lying to me. If you are anything like her. I will kill you myself. Never forget that."
I should have been afraid. Should have felt the cold grip of terror at his words.
Instead, I felt something else. Something that made me hold his gaze.
"I know," I said softly. "But I am not lying. And when Aksel wakes, you will see that."
He didn’t respond; he simply broke eye contact and resumed walking.
But I saw the way his hands clenched at his sides. The way he couldn’t quite meet my eyes.
And I knew, with a certainty that made my heart ache, that he was fighting the same impossible attraction I was.
This was insane. He hated humans. He hated everything I was.
But does he hate me too?