"I wanted to find a purpose."
'Do I even believe that?'
Sitting up, I clutched my head, feeling the softness of the bed beneath me.
'When did I—?'
Looking around, I couldn't recall when I'd gotten home. Judging by the light streaming into the room, it was already nearing dusk.
I leaned against the headboard, staring up at the ceiling, not really thinking about anything, not daring to.
Soon enough, the door creaked open. It was Mel.
"Master, let's eat."
I could only nod.
Perhaps a meal would help.
The evening came and went. I ate, took a shower, then retired early.
Back in my room, I didn't know what to do.
I prompted the system to open, hoping it would give me some answers, but nothing happened.
I stared at the system, which showed nothing but quests.
[Daily: Do 10 Push-ups: 0/10]
[Weekly: Walk 100 km: 33/100]
[Monthly: Walk 1,000 km: 33/1,000]
'...Might as well.'
Seeing that my daily quest was incomplete, I got down on the floor, propped myself up on my hands, and tried to complete it.
I only stopped when midnight struck.
I rolled onto my back, lying on the floor and panting.
Not every push-up counted. There was a requirement I couldn't quite figure out, but nonetheless, I had outdone myself.
Twenty push-ups. If the system weren't so strict, maybe I could've done better, but oh well.
I watched as the 20 SP came and went, and a new daily quest popped up.
But I saw none of it, falling asleep right there on the cold floor.
It was the study in my old home.
My brother, my father, and me.
I looked down at the scene.
'I remember this.'
The scene before me played out just as I remembered it.
Then came that scene.
"I want to find a purpose."
Hearing those words, I shivered. I wanted to see what my brother and father looked like, but their faces were blurred.
"Right, I never really saw it before."
These were still my memories, it seemed. Even from this outside perspective, I was bound by what I remembered.
But something felt odd. There was one person who still had a face.
Looking down, I could see my past self seemingly staring at me.
Why?
No, stop. You're better off not going.
I wanted to stop myself, but everything went blank.
It was a day with clear skies. The sun wasn't glaring, the town was colorful, and the people were lively.
And yet, one stark blemish stood out. By a corner of the town, two people stood against many.
Arguments flew back and forth, and the people's stares were hostile... too hostile.
"They weren't this hostile, were they?"
I watched the new scene play out.
This wasn't how I remembered it... Was this what they were really like, or was this how I felt they looked?
NO, that can't be. Few looked at us with hostility. Most were amused, curious... right?
No one answered me as the scene eventually ended.
Pelican Town, with fewer people and without its vibrant atmosphere. Like any normal day, the residents went about their lives.
I, too, tried to mingle.
Playing the role of the new farmer.
Buying farm supplies, seeds, and fertilizer from the General Store.
"Pierre wasn't so bad."
JojaMart and the wine.
"Starfruit is regarded as a high commodity. I wanted to taste what it's like."
Clint, farm tools, and geodes.
"Seeing that pickaxe quest made me so happy. Perhaps I could be the farmer."
The confrontation with Lewis and the three women.
"...Maybe they're right. At the end of the day, I am not the farmer."
At the Stardrop Saloon, Gus didn't seem bad, but why...
"Maybe I was wrong."
"Start over what, exactly?"
For Luke to live a life similar to that of a game he loved.
For Anthony to leave his past behind.
"Why did I really come here?"
Chasing a purpose sounds grandiose, but what exactly am I chasing?
Who is chasing?
Why did I act like that at the festival?
Looking back now, it feels like I'm playing a character of my own making.
Do I hate myself that much?
I had no answers, but the scene before me didn't stop.
It kept flickering, growing almost blurry.
Riding the truck back home.
The sensation of weightlessness, with Mel above me.
In my room, with Mel tucking a blanket around me.
I couldn't see her face, but I knew she was worried.
The sound of the door closing, as the scene finally turned blank.
The scene changed once more.
It was the day before we left the Manor.
For two weeks, Mel had held back, only asking now.
"Why are you going to Stardew Valley?"
It was a mundane question, but I gushed, all excited.
"I hear the Egg Festival is near. I wanna try and hunt for Eggs, though maybe I'm too old for that. Hahaha!"
"Ohhh, and there's the Flower Dance. Let's go and dance together, okay?"
"I've always heard Father visits the Town during Summer. I remember going there once, didn't we?"
"Ohhh, and farming seems fun. The animals can keep us company, though I'd have to rely on you for most of it."
"I want to try fishing too. Maybe I'd catch a Legendary one!"
"The mines seem dangerous, but who doesn't want to try fighting monsters? I'll make them fear the name of Ashbelle, though I doubt the monsters can understand us. Hahaha!"
"Oh, and..."
I remember this...
"Just a few days, and look at me. I must look so pathetic now."
I bit my lip, yet it didn't hurt.
But why do I feel so pained?
My eyes flew open, staring at the ceiling.
It was still dark. Outside, there was no sunlight yet.
I didn't have to touch my face to know how wet my eyes were.
"...I'm a mess."
Some time later, I sat up and eventually stood.
"4 a.m."
I hadn't slept for long. I felt tired and sore, but I couldn't bring myself to sleep any longer.
"Might as well."
I left my room, then the house altogether.
And with no one to accompany me but the silence and the chilly early morning, I ran.
To where?
Did it matter?