“I see, I think I get it!” Looking down at the long green track below, and the group of girls running on it almost as fast as cars, this soul who didn’t even have a body anymore nodded at a tiny little light dot beside him that no one but himself could see.
—Well… if he actually still had a head, that is…
“Basically, I got burned to death in a fire, and the host you were originally supposed to find had already run off, leaving only me there, so you just went straight for me, who only had a soul left.”
“And because the system’s functions are limited, it can’t steal a body, and it can’t directly make me a new body either, so you just protected my soul and brought me to this world.”
“Then the main situation in this world is that all horses turned into people, and they participate in races, and these races are recognized by the whole world, and are even blessed by goddesses.”
“Damn, I gotta say damn. This world’s setting might have some problems. I just wanna ask—what are people in the Middle Ages riding now? Are they riding cows or donkeys? Or some new pack animal?”
“…Pack animals.” The little light dot made a very young voice, like a little girl around ten years old.
“Mm, then I’m fine.” The soul nodded, then immediately changed his voice and shouted at the little light dot: “Now, introduce all your system functions! Start from the most basic ones!”
The soul’s sudden voice change scared the little light dot into shrinking back: “Uh, why are you yelling so loud?”
“Cough cough… Then let me introduce myself—I am the guide spirit of the *Umamusume Super Many Smurf Accounts System*. You can call me Ah Guang.”
“Guide spirit? So that means you don’t have authority?”
“Of course I don’t! I’m just a wage slave too—cough, anyway, back to the point. Our system’s function is to absorb the various emotion points collected by you and your smurf accounts, and use them to let you draw gacha.”
“And so-called emotion points are emotional fluctuations from all sorts of areas. For example, if you do something really awesome and cause intense emotional fluctuations, you can get a lot of emotion points.”
“At the same time—we also have multiple gacha pools, like the Umamusume character pool, character fragment pool, skill pool, skill fragment pool, equipment pool, and so on~”
“Damn, there’s even a fragment system? A scummy system like you probably can’t find a second one even in all of Hedgehog Cat, right? I bet this was made by Tencent or Netease.”
“You’ve broken through the fourth wall, hey! And it’s totally normal, okay? You think every system has to let you shoot straight to the top in one go?”
“If a system isn’t for shooting straight to the top, then is it for eating?” The two of them complained at each other, completely forgetting the main business.
They only came back to their senses when the announcer below started speaking.
“Mm, okay then. So, do I get a beginner ten-pull? Or a beginner gift pack or something? Normally these things exist, right?”
“Those things you mentioned—we don’t have any of them~” The little light dot extended two tiny “light rays” and made what should count as a shrugging gesture at the soul.
“There’s just one beginner single pull, from the character pool. It’s basically the way for you to get a body—after all, your original body is burned to a crisp now, so it’s impossible to use it again.”
“Since there’s already a single pull, can’t you just make it a ten-pull? What about the smurf accounts you promised? And this is all we get right at the start?”
“Don’t push your luck! I’m just a guide with barely any authority! If I had that kind of energy, why would I need to bring you? I could go myself!”
“…Fine, whatever. Being able to live again is a dream for who knows how many people. Having this chance is already enough. I won’t ask for more.”
After thinking about it a bit, the soul stopped obsessing.
This was pretty good anyway.
Who knew how many people wanted this kind of chance but could never get it?
For it to land on him was already incredibly lucky.
And this world was pretty good too—at least way better than Warhammer or whatever.
Modern era, peaceful times, and it was a sports competition-type world.
The atmosphere couldn’t be better.
“Hmph, good that you know.” The little light dot wobbled as if nodding, then glowed, and an interface appeared in front of the soul.
“Here—this is the character gacha interface!” The little light dot flew to the front of the interface and extended another “light ray” to point at the various graphics and buttons on it.
“The character pool is 1000 emotion points for a single pull, 9000 emotion points for a ten-pull. Sometimes there are limited-time UP pools. Except for some UP pools, there’s no pity system.”
“As for characters, they also have grades, divided into six character rarities: BOSS, UR, SSR, SR, R, and N.”
“Damn, that many?! The number of trash cards in the pool has gone way up.” Seeing this full-on gacha cash-grab smell, and not even a pity system, the soul knew—this system was not for the Africans.
And the more the soul looked at it, the more he felt this so-called system was made by some NetEase-like company.
After all, the flavor was too authentic—grinding and whaling combined, practically a cancer.
“Cough cough, anyway, your new body can be obtained from here.” The little light dot coughed twice.
The soul didn’t know if it was just his imagination, but he always felt this thing really liked coughing.
“Oh, so after I draw, will I appear here right away? Will I be an illegal resident or something?” The soul looked at his distance from the ground, then shrank back his already nonexistent head because of his fear of heights.
Who knew why this system had to bring him to this place?!
Couldn’t it choose a more normal place?
Did it have to be here?
“Ah, no, you don’t need to worry about that. The system will still provide some identity information, but it’s usually pretty miscellaneous, and there’s no family, so what you draw is basically treated as an ordinary family background or no family at all.”
“If you want a better identity, you can go spend emotion points in the miscellaneous item pool, and you might draw those kinds of births.”
“This all needs gacha too? Damn, you really are an Netease system!” As soon as he heard the name miscellaneous item pool, the soul realized this system was definitely a huge point-devouring monster, the kind you could never feed enough.
If it also updated and increased the number of pools, then it would truly be impossible to ever achieve full collection!
That was terrifying!
“Of course it needs gacha. Even a landlord’s family doesn’t have surplus grain! But since they’re all ordinary family births, you can choose roughly where you appear at the start—how’s that? Pretty convenient, right?”
“It’s okay, I guess. So can I start drawing now?” The soul didn’t care about these things anymore.
Ordinary birth was fine.
At worst, he’d just play an ordinary-family comeback story later.
“Of course—come, here’s your first draw~” The little light dot moved aside so the soul could touch the screen.
“I hope I can get an SR.” The soul wasn’t greedy.
After all, he knew his own luck.
Getting a mid-tier SR would already be good.
At least he could beat some people and not be a completely useless little broken horse.
As for things like SSR, UR, or even BOSS—he didn’t even dare think about them now.
Getting one would be fate.
Not getting one would also be fate.
“Okay, here we go! Jesus and Buddha, bless me! Don’t let me get an R card or N card!!!” Along with this shout that no one except the little light dot could hear, the soul extended a tentacle and poked the button that said [Draw Once].
The next moment, a huge amount of light burst out from the interface—red, gold, blue, purple.
It was truly colorful, just short of spraying out a rainbow.
“Ohhhhh!” Under the shine of this light, both the soul and the little light dot started screaming at the same time.
Except the soul was cheering happily, while the little light dot let out a mysterious scream.
“It came out! It came out! My Jesus and Buddha, awesome-sauce! Wuhu!” Along with the rainbow-colored light, the soul, feeling like he was about to ascend straight into heaven, shouted loudly, so excited he didn’t even know what he was saying.
“Waaaaah! Why?!!” The soul cheered loudly, but the little light dot screamed miserably.
If it had a face, it would definitely be filled with extreme terror right now, right?
As the light faded, the character the soul had drawn finally appeared on the screen.
It was an Umamusume with long black hair, bright crimson eyes, and wearing a dress-armor mix of black and gold.
Her beautiful face carried a trace of pride and madness, like a queen standing high above.
One look was enough to make a bit of awe rise in your heart.
Even through the screen, the soul was deeply shaken by her.
And when that black-and-gold dress-armor was worn on her, it was like the most beautiful and most majestic clothing in the world, highlighting the aura of a ruler!
An indescribable, awe-inspiring aura!
On the system interface, the soul saw this Umamusume’s name—Tyrant.
And her rarity—BOSS.
“BOSS! It’s a BOSS! WDNMD, I got the goods!” Looking at that clear word BOSS, the soul felt like he was about to fly!
It was the strongest character!
The future was now in his hands!
Though he did feel like all his luck for this life and the next had been used up…
Whatever!
Anyway, I got the goods, so I’m happy and I’m gonna go wild!
At worst, I’ll just use this character as the main one, and the rest can go wild too.
“We’re doomed! Why is it a BOSS card! Why is it a BOSS card?!” The soul was happy, but the little light dot was collapsing.
It wailed loudly, like someone who confidently took an exam only to find the subject wasn’t the one they’d studied for.
“What’s wrong? I drew a BOSS card and you’re not happy?” The soul really didn’t understand.
Why was this guide so unhappy when he’d drawn the strongest card?
Could it have messed up the gacha pool?
“I thought I’d only explain this later, but I didn’t expect it at such a critical point…” The little light dot seemed to dim a bit.
If it had a body, it would probably be doing an or2 pose.
“What exactly is wrong?”
“BOSS cards… BOSS cards are different from other cards. They’re not the kind you can use just by drawing them…”
“What? You can draw them but can’t use them?!”
“Right—so-called BOSS cards, just like the name says, are cards for BOSS characters. Like the bosses that block your path in game stories that you know about. They’re very strong, but generally can’t be obtained normally.”
The little light ball extended a “light ray” and tapped the interface, making it return to the gacha screen—it didn’t want to see that screen showing Tyrant anymore.
“So in the system’s settings, there’s only one way to use a BOSS card—you have to beat the BOSS on a virtual track constructed by the system, and only then can you unlock the BOSS card you drew.”
“However, the precondition for that is that you first have an Umamusume body, but right now…”
The soul understood, but he just felt it was super scummy.
He never expected the best card to be something you could only admire from afar, not actually use—that felt awful.
“So what do we do now? I’m just a soul right now! How am I supposed to collect emotion points? Am I supposed to go scare people as a ghost? This is Umamusume, not Lord of the Mysteries.”
The little light ball dimmed and brightened, brightened and dimmed, then as if it had made some kind of resolution, it muttered: “Damn, there’s no other way! Remember this! You owe me, and you absolutely have to pay me back!”
After saying that, the little light ball extended its “light ray” again, touched the [Draw Once] button on the system interface, and pressed it.
“Holy crap, so the landlord really did have surplus grain after all!”
“This is my private savings! You absolutely have to pay me back double!” The little light ball, on the verge of tears, let its internal energy flow into the system, its heart full of regret.
It never expected that before earning even a single cent from this job, it would already have to pay out of pocket!
If it had known, it never would’ve taken this job, wuwuwu…
Following the little light ball’s action, *bang*—the interface once again lit up with dazzling light!
Except this time there was only red and gold light, as if it were the glow formed by countless lanterns.
“Ohhhhh! A European pull! Jesus and Buddha, awesome-sauce, Ashigunishiga!” Looking at the screen full of red light, the soul shouted loudly again.
Two pulls in one day, he’d like to ask who else in this world could do that?
“I’m the one who pulled it!” The little light ball protested loudly, but the soul didn’t listen at all.
At this moment, his entire attention was fixed on the newly appeared Umamusume on the interface.
Long hair black as night swayed in the wind.
Her golden pupils held almost no emotion.
Clothes like armor were worn on her body, making her look like a girl knight with no emotions at all, yet incomparably powerful.
**Character Name:** Black Knight.
**Character Rarity:** UR.
“Muwahahahaha! It came out! It came out! Awesome!”
“I’m the one who pulled it! You’d better remember, and pay me back double in the future!”
————Below is not main text————
This book was written purely on a whim.
I don’t even know how it’ll turn out.
Anyway, I might change some settings to serve the plot.
The protagonist’s setting is that he doesn’t know the specific situation of Umamusume in advance, but don’t worry about the rest, because this book probably won’t be very messy—at least the relationships won’t be messy.
And the reason I wanted to write this book is also because I wanted to tell the other authors who write Umamusume fics—
Hurry up and update!
Even I, a reader, have been waiting so long I’ve bloomed into a flower, so why aren’t you working harder to update?!