The same apartment in the Upper East Side.
1.42 seconds later.
As the door slammed behind the old man, ‘Fifi’ turned to the boy.
“First of all, you will not refer to me as ‘Fifi’,” the woman stated as she stalked over to the small kitchen in the apartment, “The old man has earned the right to give me a stupid nickname, you have not.”
The woman paused for a bit as she filled up the kettle and searched the cupboards until she found a box of peppermint tea. Soon the kettle was boiling, and the woman poured it into a teapot, loaded a tray with honey and cream, and set the ensemble up on the coffee table.
“You, boy,” the woman gave Gregory a severe look as she sat on the couch next to him, and suddenly a sincere smile replaced the severity, “You may call me Auntie.”
Gregory gulped as the woman pressed a warm cup into his hands… cream, a little bit of honey, just how he liked it… and prepared her own cup.
“Now, it may seem like a moment ago that you were pulled from the void, but it’s actually been a little while. Your mind was shattered by that place, and the old man thought I would be the best one to help you put the pieces back together. We are not strangers, you and I, though this is the first time you have been conscious during our meetings.”
“Thank you, Auntie. Should I ask how long I was out?”
“Oh, long enough for us to separate this timeline out in order to give you a home. The old man didn’t want you messing around in any of his main timelines, so we decided to make a new one just for you.”
“Um, a new timeline?” the boy gulped as the implications of this statement finally settled in, “Just for… for me?”
“Don’t look so impressed,” the woman said, a flash of annoyance crossing her face, “The old man is constantly messing with new timelines, it’s one of his favorite pastimes. He’s constantly splitting off new realities, retconning the main one, and shuffling things around to make his grand tales of heroism.
“Honestly, it’s even difficult for a being like myself to keep up with, and I’m the nexus of all psionic power in the multiverse.
“I think he wanted to give you something unique, with lower power scaling to start off, so you can get your feet wet before the whole thing becomes a clusterfuck like all the rest of his projects eventually do. If I had a dollar for every time he’s reset and reimagined that main timeline of his… Well, I’d have at least ten dollars. Probably more.”
Phoenix sipped her tea a little more, and let her words settle in for Gregory to digest.
“Sorry, I’m a bit more direct that you’re probably used to,” she said consolingly after a few moments for Gregory’s existential terror to calm down, “I think you’ll find that the the celestial beings in this multiverse are a little more forthcoming about how things work around here. We don’t really hide things from people. Oh, we don’t go around advertising ourselves, not like the gods do, but there’s no grand conspiracy to hide ourselves from people either. The old man is constantly sticking his nose into things. Death shows up when she knows it’s dramatically appropriate. Love and Hate are all over the damn place. Oblivion mostly keeps to themself, but that’s to be expected. Oh, and Eternity married Possibility a few epochs back, and the two newlyweds barely ever leave the house, let me tell you.
“As for me… well, we’ll get to that in a little bit.”
“Yeah, I should be going through an existential crisis right now,” Gregory answered, “But I think with everything that’s been happening recently, this is probably the least of my worries.”
“Aw, don’t worry about it, little one. Four hundred years in the void has a way of putting things into perspective, I know. For now though, let's take things easy. You need some time to heal. I’m going to make some popcorn, and we can watch some TV.”
A beach house near the far shores.
Near the end of time.
A familiar old man was sitting at a drawing desk in a sea of featureless white. Comic book pages cluttered the desk, as the man prepared the rough sketches to fill the page. Two figures were prominent in each panel, a young man with black hair and a red haired woman sitting on a couch.
The two sipped tea, chatted for a bit (though the speech bubbles hadn't been filled in yet), and then the woman reappeared in the next panel with a huge bowl of popcorn, and picked up a complicated looking remote control.
The old man continued with his sketches, quickly switching to the next page, as a woman dressed in a black hooded robe swayed over to the old man. The robe was form fitting, showing off the woman’s shapely figure, and in the shadows of the robe’s hood you could see a hint of white bone.
The figure made no moves to interrupt the old man, but the old man paused his work to glance over.
“Oh, hey D,” the old man paused, waving at the woman, “I didn’t notice you walking up. I’m pretty impressed with the kid too, it takes something special to survive in that place as long as he did.”
The woman was silent as the man finished his statement, while the response contained no speech, the old man nodded his head as if following a conversation.
“Yeah, I think he’ll be a good addition,” the old man finally answered, “And you know how much I love a crossover event.”
Another long silence.
“Yeah,” the old man chuckled, “I called her Fifi. The look she gave me was priceless. You know how the old girl can get stuck on her own importance sometimes. She’s not like you, sometimes I think that whole ‘spirit of destruction and rebirth’ thing is a little hard on her sometimes. Giving her the kid to look after will do good things for her. Hopefully it will be good for Jean as well.”
More silence.
“Well, I won’t mention you said that.” the old man laughed, and winked at the figure, “No, I know you’re just kidding. Ever since I found that ‘dragon’ for you, I think she’s been a little lonely. She was never as much of a romantic as you though, so giving her a ‘nephew’ is better for her. Besides, she has a Jean for her white room now, so maybe I can give her a Jean that’s just… there. You know how much she loves that girl.”
More silence.
“I know you didn’t plan it that way, but who am I to stand in the way when the embodiment of the end of all things and an eldritch abomination in the shape of a dragon decide they only have eyes for each other. You know the whole harem genre isn’t my style anyway.”
More silence.
“Okay, okay, you love the guy/girl/thing/eldritch monster. I get it. Oh, congratulations on the upcoming bundle of joy, by the way. I’m sure there will be the appropriate amount of drama and terror when Gaia eventually gives birth to the little monster, but everything will probably turn out ok.”
The conversation seemed to wind down at that point, and the old man turned back to his drawings.
“Hey, before you go,” the old man turned back, “I got a pretty good look at the multiverse that kid came from, and it gave me some ideas. What do you think about me adding a ‘jiggle physics’ patch the next time I reset the timeline?”
The figure remained silent, but suddenly a wind kicked up in the featureless space. The wind was deathly quiet, barely above a whisper, but if one listened, the death throes of countless universes could be heard in that wind.
“Fine fine,” the old man turned back with a smile and muttered to himself, “I mean I’m already doing skintight spandex, what could a little jiggle physics hurt. Oh well, no accounting for taste.”
Back in New York.
172,872 seconds later.
Gregory sighed as his ‘Auntie’ turned off the television. A comfortable silence hung for a few minutes while the pair digested the content of the anime series they just watched.
“Did he really get a power up when he touched that girl’s breasts?” Gregory finally shouted with more than a hint of incredulity, “I mean, it sounds ridiculous. And how did a low class devil attract all of those drop dead gorgeous women?
“But the thing that bothers me the most, how did someone with such low demonic power end up defeating so many powerhouses? With mother I can understand, she was only a High-Class devil, and she could easily punch above her weight, but she was a magical researcher. She was constantly pushing the boundaries of what our kind could do with magic. This kid just touches some boobs and yells ‘BOOST’ like an idiot and all of a sudden he’s punching gods.”
“Honestly, the version of the kid I met was a total hornball, kept looking at my tits like a creep,” Phoenix laughed, “Aragorn and I spent some time in an alternate timeline of that universe, but honestly I was just annoyed by the boob physics most of the time I was there. Spent a lot of my time in that world as a man to avoid them. Asia and Ophis were such sweethearts though.”
“Wait, I’m going to ignore the casual reference to one of the dragon gods in my world, but… you can go back there?”
“Not on my own. We had an eldritch abomination of the void named void-chan take us. Sorry, most of this is going over your head. Long story short, no, I can’t bring you back home. But it’s been a bit over 400 years since you left. Everything you know about that place is gone. Do you really want to go back?”
“Sigh, no, I suppose not. If what you showed me is the main timeline where I came from, at least Auntie Serafall and Uncle Zechs are happy. They both have new sisters and are probably busy with their jobs. They probably forgot I ever existed, or maybe they remember, but it’s just one of the many tragedies of that war.
“Besides, I’m interested in this ‘technology’ everyone keeps talking about. I mean, the television is amazing… and lights that work without fire. Running water. Indoor plumbing! Just the things I’ve seen in this apartment are incredibly fascinating.”
“You’re going to love it here. A boy with your brain will get along famously with the Stark child. Just take your time and enjoy your life. The old man specifically split this timeline at a place where things are going to be quiet for a few years… well, mostly quiet. None of his worlds are ever full quiet, but this one won't be nearly as complicated as they usually are.
“Alright, let's watch another one. This next set of films should give you an idea of how things work around here.”
605,852 seconds (approximately 1 week) later.
“Wow, I know that isn’t the Old Man’s main timeline, and I know you said that isn’t how things are going to play out in this timeline, but really… did the Old Man have to get Stark killed? I mean, he and Pepper just had a child… and god… I can’t believe I’m going to cry over a stupid arguably mid action film.”
“Oh, my poor boy. Don’t you worry, the Old Man didn’t kill Stark. He only ever gives you all choices to make. It’s the combination of those choices that lead to the fates you see. Besides, is there anything more heroic than a man willing to sacrifice his life for his own child?
“Alright, enough of the background material. From now on we’re just going to watch some fun, enjoyable movies so you’re able to blend into society like a normal person instead of being a stranger in this world.
“But first, lets take a walk and get some ice cream. I know this great place on Lexington.”
Around 2,592,000 seconds (approximately 1 month) later.
“Honestly Auntie, the first three movies were garbage, but were worth watching for the fight choreography. The middle three were nearly perfect though. The special effects were a bit janky, but everything else was chef’s kiss… though I will admit that the muppets at the end of the last one were a bit much. The last three, how the hell did those get made? The first movie was… fine, I guess. But the second seemed like it hated the first, and the third seemed like it was trying to pick up the ashes from the second movie.”
“I know, right? The middle three were the original trilogy, and were made something like 20 years before the others. Honestly, they were what started the whole craze in the first place.
“Once the royalties from the first three movies dried up, the creator released the prequel trilogy… that’s the ones you said were garbage with cool fights. After that, another company purchased the franchise. The final trilogy hopscotched between two different directors, and both of them had completely different visions for how the film should have been made.”
Around 5 million seconds (approximately 2 months) later.
“They killed the guy’s dog! Of course the whole crime family needed to die! It doesn’t even matter that his wife gave him the dog… you kill my dog, I’m going to muder you and everyone that you love. That’s just common sense! I can see why you love this genre, the emotional release is quite cathartic. I especially enjoyed the film about the mariachi, and the playing card film with the baby and the prostitute were also particularly enjoyable.”
“Little one, I knew you would enjoy that one. Revenge tales are the best. Now, let me show you a series of films by a director named Tarantino. He mostly does homages to genre films. He’s one of my favorites. After that, we’ll take a break and watch some Attenborough documentaries.”
Half a year later.
“Alright Auntie, I think I can definitely say I enjoy this ‘british humor’ thing you were talking about. I will stop giving you a hard time about quoting the Life of Brian, and I may sometime in the future try to subdue people by saying ‘Ni’ at them.
“I still can’t see what you and Auntie Serafall see in this ‘magical girl’ genre though. Honestly, it’s worse than the garbage you showed me about my own world. How does the power of friendship defeat villains? It makes no sense!"
“Well, there’s no accounting for taste I suppose. But your Serafall has good taste, even if she prefers the happy light side of the genre. I personally prefer the darker, Madoka Magica type stories. Hell, the whole Jean Grey Saga is basically a dark magical girl story. In the best timelines she even redeems herself with the power of friendship.”
The woman laughed as she stood and rinsed out the popcorn bowl… the one that stayed fresh and filled for their entire movie marathon, only running out once the final credits were rolling. With another laugh, the red haired woman started yelling in a bad british accent.
“THE DIRECTORS OF THE FIRM HIRED TO CONTINUE THE CREDITS AFTER THE OTHER PEOPLE HAD BEEN SACKED, WISH IT TO BE KNOWN THAT THEY HAVE JUST BEEN SACKED.”
After a round of giggling, the older (but amazingly beautiful) woman fell back into the couch with the boy.
“Anyway, now do you see why the old man created humanity? If you look at all the amazing things they’ve given us… Star Wars… British Humor… Romero Zombies… Anime… it’s amazing.
“Anyway, I think you’re doing better now. I will be checking in on you every once in a while to make sure your brain remains intact, but I think we can say the healing power of British Humor has probably fixed your noggin for good.”
The older (but still a knockout) woman grew silent for a bit, then took a deep breath as if she were gathering her courage for something.
“Now, you don’t have to say yes, but I am going to ask for a favor if you don’t mind.”
“Auntie, you know I’m going to say yes. Especially if you're about to ask me for a favor about that Jean girl you can't stop gushing about.”
“Fine, well. That chess set you have there, it’s the old man’s replica of the one from your world. It doesn’t have any of the limitations of the originals… there will always be one piece for each of the people you take into your peerage, but it should help you design your own set in the future.
“Now, Jean is having a difficult time right now. Her mind was damaged by a hack… sorry, I shouldn’t be bitter… Xavier was doing the best that he could with his limited knowledge.
“Ahem, where was I… ah, yes, Jean's mind was damaged by her mentor. He used a hasty method to patch up some trauma she suffered as a child. The trauma patch worked to calm her growing psionic powers, but unfortunately, the girl has just recently come into contact with some of my cosmic energy… a precursor to becoming my herald in this universe… and the trauma bandage was just ripped clean off.
“I’ve seen this tragedy play out in many of my timelines. If the damage doesn’t kill her, it will make her much stronger, but ninety-nine times out of a hundred she doesn’t make it through the transition.”
The older (but as gorgeous as the day she turned twenty) woman sighed, growing melancholy for a moment.
“Gregory, I want just one timeline where Jean has a happy life, without the pain of becoming my herald. Could you do that for me? A little struggle is fine, it’s impossible to have a satisfying adventure without a little strife… but just once I want the girl to live without the guilt of killing the people she loves.”
For the first time in the half year since the two started spending time together, Gregory pulled his Auntie in for a hug instead of the reverse.
“You’re such a well behaved boy,” the older (but still gorgeous) woman smiled and let her ‘nephew’ hold her “Now, about Jean. I need to send you to where she is shortly, her power is reaching a critical state. When you arrive, I need you to give her one of your chess pieces. It doesn’t matter which one, as I said, all of your pieces are equal.
“Once she’s shed her humanity and becomes a devil, the transition should stabilize her powers. After that, you can both work through her trauma together. Don’t worry, I will be here periodically to check up on the two of you.”