Discussion died down as Falar walked past the tables, then started again in whispers as soon as he had passed them. When he opened the door, the pressure reached in to touch me, pulling on me like I was looking over a ledge. I drew a breath as the grip around my throat lessened.
Falar glanced back, and even from across the hall, I could see him wrinkle his nose at me. He slammed the door shut. The pressure on my temples cut off, the collar around my neck tightened.
Find out for yourself, he said.
The fork bent as I pushed it against the table, fist clenched tight around it. I didn’t know anything about magic, but I would figure out what he had done. I would do even better, break his chain, make it snap against his face.
“Lina?” someone whispered.
“Huh?” I said, letting go of the fork.
Fek, the boy from the dorm, stood next to me, eyes darting this way and that. “You okay? Are you done? Grit really wants to talk to you. Want to join us?”
The questions came in a rattle. I was about to say no, but I stopped myself. My table sat to the side, separated from the large tables where everyone else sat. All the students were trying to catch a glimpse of me from the corners of their eyes. Grit waved a white hand at me from four tables away, sitting next to Minnelil.
I stood up, leaving the tray and the bent fork there. The skeletons were collecting the dishes, so let them handle it. “They really use skeletons for everything, don’t they?” I asked Fek.
“They use zombies a lot too. Not for serving food, though. It would spoil everyone’s appetite.”
I frowned. Zombies must be the other kind of undead with flesh still hanging on them. “I guess… that makes sense.”
Grit leaned over the table as I got closer, red eyes wide. “What did you speak about with Falar? Why did they invite you to the faculty table?”
Minnelil grabbed her shoulder and pressed her back down on her chair. “Patience. Let her sit down first.” She smiled as Grit pouted, waiting for me to sidle into the chair next to her.
They had all eaten and all the plates had been taken away. Probably been waiting for Falar to leave to pounce on me. I had been lost before, had always found my way by myself, but a part of me was still grateful. “He made me a schedule and a plan for how I’m supposed to get all the credits he wants me to get. How many is thirty, anyway?” I asked.
All three of them grimaced and Grit hissed and leaned away from me. “That’s… a lot. You usually get just one for one round of lectures.”
“You can get more for passing exams,” Fek said. “I got five just for channeling a bit for them.”
Ah, so that was the plan. I would need to jump through some extra hoops, perform for Falar. Sitting through lectures all day sounded useless. I would find a way to work smarter. Which reminded me about what Falar had told me about Minnelil. “Oh, and you’re supposed to tutor me,” I said.
“I am?” Minnelil asked. “Of course, but why?”
“Because they’ll pay you.”
“Oh, that’s nice!” Fek said. “Min’s always complaining about being skint.”
“Thank you, Fek,” she said flatly.
Fek smiled, leaning back in his chair. “Don’t mention it!”
Minnelil groaned, rolling her eyes. They were shaped like almonds and almost as large as Grit’s. I had never seen an elf from up close before, and I couldn’t help staring. Her mouth was wide with thin lips, reaching from one side of her narrow jaw to the other. Her hair was dark brown and fine enough that a mild breeze would probably set it dancing in the air. Skin spotless, a healthy tan on it even here in the middle of the impossible winter.
“She has that effect on people, doesn’t she?” Grit said, waving a hand in front of my face. “Tell me about Falar? How was it to speak with him?”
“Huh?” I said.
“What did you need tutoring with?” Minnelil asked, putting a hand on Grit’s shoulder. “I don’t want to pry, but you did just appear in the middle of the semester. It might help with the tutoring if you told a bit about your earlier experience with magic…?”
She left the question hanging. I could have avoided it, play it off if I wanted. I recognized it as the nice gesture it was, but there was nothing to skirt. “I don’t know anything about magic. I need help with everything, I guess?”
“How are you here then?” Fek asked.
“Fek!” Grit said, frowning at him.
Minnelil sighed. “Put rather bluntly, but it is a justified question. Earning the right to attend the Academy is not easy. You said you were kidnapped, but I think there’s more to the story?”
I hesitated. My instincts told me to keep quiet, tell them nothing. I fought the reflex down. At least until I got my bearings, I needed all the help I could get. I would pay them back later, somehow. “They said I have potential,” I said. “I… might be in trouble. I don’t really understand any of it, but I need to learn channeling first, I guess?”
“Oh, well, at least that’s easy,” Fek said.
“It’s not,” Minnelil and Grit said both at the same time. They looked at each other, raising a set of perfect brown eyebrows and perfectly bare brow-ridges with a sigh.
“Channeling isn’t easy. It’s about as hard as anything can be,” Grit said, glancing down at her rough palms.
“That’s not completely right, either,” Minnelil said. “The truth is, as it has the habit of being, somewhere in the middle. But I can show you how to do it?”
She made it sound like a question. So accommodating. “Sure. Just remember to get your money from them. Fair’s fair.”
She smiled then, showing me a row of teeth too wide for his face. It didn’t diminish it, only made it more interesting, out of the ordinary.
I coughed, rubbed a hand on my face. “When do you have time? I need to handle something for the Bursar at some point.”
“I’ve never seen her,” Fek said, teetering on the chair with two of its legs touching the ground. “Hector said she would end up killing me in seconds if I ever went there. He sounded really sure of it.”
“Who cares about the Bursar?” Grit said. “Tell me about what Falar was like!” she shouted at me.
“No!” I shouted. “A creep!”
Minnelil laughed, the sound high and clear like a small bell.
Minnelil leaned both elbows on our dorm table. “So, want to try channeling out now?”
“Yeah, let’s get this out of the way.”
“It is the basis of everything, so yes, let’s. Sit down and I’ll try to walk you through it.”
I pulled up a chair. “No small talk? You’re still not going to ask why I’m here? Why I don’t know about any of this stuff?”
“I can if you'd like. But maybe you want to start learning instead?”
I stayed silent. Fek had come back with us to the dorm room and was lying on the bed, reading a book. He kept bouncing his leg resting on his other knee, making a constant tapping and swishing noise that would drive me mad sooner or later. I ignored it for now.
Minnelil smiled her wide smile, nodding as I stayed silent. “Channeling is the way to tap on the power inside of us, the mana. Everyone’s natural ability for channeling and the amount of mana they can use is different, but both can be developed. Some people are naturally better at brawling because they are larger or anger easily, yet the best fighters aren’t necessarily the largest and angriest thugs, but the ones who are smart and ruthless.”
“Any reason you used that as an example?”.
She flashed me a small smile before continuing. “I just want to make sure you understand that channeling isn’t something only a gifted few can do. Some people think that way, but it isn’t true. Everyone can learn the skill.”
“So if I fail, I shouldn’t give up instantly?”
“Exactly. And, unfortunately you will fail. Time and time again. Everyone does.”
“Sounds great. Show me.”
She nodded and lifted her hand between us. I felt the tingling before I saw the blue light growing around her fingertips. It glowed softly, tickling my brain, as she drew a simple line into the air. The light hung there above the table, its outlines slowly starting to fade.
“This is the normal mana? Not the Null stuff that Falar kept talking about? Why is it fading?”
“Yes. You catch on quick,” she said, drawing her fingers along the line, turning its outlines sharp again, the light brighter. “Channeling is used to push mana to runes or to enchanted items to activate them, but it’s also used to draw the runes when casting spells. It’s like… drawing in sand as waves lap at your feet. By channeling, you set the sand so that the very first wave can’t wash away what you’ve drawn.”
I looked at my hand, traced the glowing line hanging in the air. It buzzed against the tip of my index finger. “In this story, what are the waves?”
“Life, everything,” she said, leaning back and circling a hand over her head. “Mana is all around us. In every breath, every buzz of an insect.”
I wanted to say I didn’t get it, but maybe I did. Now that I focused on it, the tingling was different. A boundary between two things, the exact point where water rises to touch a finger reaching toward it. I held my finger against the light, testing the non-existent pressure it had and didn’t.
“Want to try to do it yourself?” Minnelil asked.
I twitched, startled out of my thoughts by her soft voice. “Yeah,” I said. “I think I do.”
“Good. Now, relax your face. Focus on your breath and follow my lead…”
“This doesn’t work!” I shouted, standing up and toppling the chair over.
“Shh, it never does,” Minnelil said. “Some people have to train for years, but I wager it won’t take you so long. Did you feel anything?”
I panted, my face red from the effort. We had been at it for at least two hours, but it felt like half a day. When she did it, the lines just appeared. I glanced to the side, avoiding her gaze. “Maybe. A tingle in my elbows.”
“That’s a weird place to feel anything,” Fek said, pushing himself up from his reclining position on the bed. He cracked the spine of the book and put it on the floor, leaving it lying open. He had been mercifully quiet until now, engrossed in whatever he had been reading.
“It actually makes sense,” Minnelil said. “The flow of mana is theorized to be connected more to the nerves rather than the arteries and veins. Ever hit your elbow on something and felt your whole arm go tingly?”
“It is a bit like that,” I said quietly, looking at my hand.
“Ulnar nerve runs around—“
“Nah! You’re making it too hard. Just relax and let it out,” Fek said, waving a hand in the air. He drew a band of light as wide as his palm into the air. It tingled like hell, making the muscles in my face jump.
He blew on the light, causing a hole to open in it. The light started to tatter and drift toward the ceiling. “That’s the way I do it, anyway.”
“No one else does,” Minnelil said, sounding tired.
I watched him with my mouth open, before closing it tight, pressing my lips together. I set the chair back up and pushed it under the table with a clonk, my fingers gripping it so hard the wood creaked. I had managed a goddamn tingle in my elbow during the two hours.
Minnelil touched my hand and I flinched away. She flinched as well, lifting her palms into the air. “Lina, relax. Don’t mind Fek. Remember, everyone has it hard.”
Fek opened his mouth, but she snapped her head toward him so fast, her hair whipped around and brushed my hands, still gripping the chairback.
“I—” Fek said, but closed his mouth again. “I mean, isn’t it time to eat soon?”
Minnelil gathered her hair into her hands and started to braid it. “It is. We’ll continue this another time,” she said, glancing at me. “Okay? I can explain more about the school and magic while we eat.”
I unclenched my jaw. “How can it be time to eat again? Do you do anything except eat, here?”
“Channeling builds up an appetite, especially in the beginning.”
As if in response, my stomach growled. That was weird. I had eaten a steak. I should have been able to go for at least a day, but I was already slightly hungry. I licked my lips. “Will… will the dinner be as good as the lunch?”