If I was not already shaking in my boots, I would have been grinding my nails down to the flesh, scraping them clean until my fingers stained with blood with the way Leo was looking at me.
The morning light faded from my sight, his frame towering over me, casting fear upon my skin.
I deserved this. I knew it was only a matter of time before Leo caught on and snapped, and I did not blame him at all. I expected him to have hurt me by now, deserving of what I stole from him. He was too good for me, and I could not handle that.
Though I may not have known it before, it was clear now that I was a snitch and a sly bastard, stealing my own best friend’s Alpha for myself and acting like a saint now that he was beginning to suspect something.
Kai appeared at the door, slamming it so hard against the wall that a cracking sound burst through the utensils. An intense rattling followed.
Tension thickened in the atmosphere, almost making it difficult to breathe.
"What are you doing, cornering him like that?"
"Surely, you would defend him." Leo shifted into an akimbo stance. "What have you two been doing together?"
"Excuse you...?" Kai questioned as he helped straighten me up.
The urge to mutter a thousand thank yous was there, but swallowing them down my throat felt like a real struggle.
"Leo, what are you saying?"
"Well, exactly what it looks like. I had the security camera footage pulled up. It showed Kai drove here. In a very reckless manner," he added after a short pause.
My eyes met Kai’s, as though we had both planned it. Now that I thought of it, if that was all Leo knew, then Kai must have cleared the footage of him and Nathan fighting.
"I’m so sorry, but it’s not what you think, Leo." I stepped forward, thriving to bargain.
Instead, Leo seethed at me, refined anger lacing every word. "Do not get me pissed. One of you must have something to confess. You’ve been spending time together, hanging out when you both used to hate each other. And it all started weeks ago. So, yea, scrutinize me all you want, but I’ve got valid points. And you fucking know it."
The nerves in my neck hardened, pulling painfully against my skin. Being friends since college, I knew enough to understand Leo never made accusations lightly. He waited until he was absolutely certain before pointing fingers.
Kai moved closer to him, ignoring the way Leo slapped his hand away. "Come with me, baby. Let us talk this out somewhere else."
"I said no. I want to know what is between you two."
"You’re fucking delusional," Kai retorted, raising his own voice.
The kitchen rattled louder. The walls felt seconds away from shattering.
"Now you’re raising your voice?" Leo stood his ground.
I remained frozen behind them.
"Oh, cut the crap." Kai let out a sinister laugh. "You’re supposed to be the Luna. You have to be smart and strategic, not act like some commoner."
"Yea, maybe because I’m so stupid you think you can cheat on me." Leo snapped, and his eyes landed on me just then.
Immediately, I looked anywhere else but their direction.
"You’re probably right." Kai tugged at the last thread of calm Leo had left in his storm, and he knew it. "Maybe Alex is even smarter than you, considering he knows better than to escalate this situation while you’re doing exactly that."
This was so not the time...
My heart clenched, yet my stomach fluttered at Kai’s horribly-timed compliment.
Leo let out a bitter laugh. "Oh, right. In front of my friend, you’re defending him while I’m the dull-brained idiot, aren’t I?"
"I am your Alpha, and you will respect that. Stop this madness right now." Kai sounded ready to end the conversation.
Leo looked from him to me, then back at him. "I will find out why you left the meeting, why you drove this way, and whether you came home to meet Alex."
"You are so lost in your own illusion that I cannot even fault you for arriving at that conclusion," Kai replied.
I almost did not realize he had begun speaking formally to Leo, something that never happened. The two of them were usually too close to sound as though they were standing in court.
"If you’re fucking my friend, you’ll both regret it." Leo finished, and I gasped.
The sound escaped so loudly that I instantly clamped my lips shut, shrinking backward until my spine hit the worktop again.
Aiming for the exit, I hurried out of the kitchen.
"Alex... Alex!" Kai called after me, but I did not stop.
I needed to leave this place. I had no idea where I needed to go, but the morning chill struck my skin the moment I stepped onto the porch, heading toward the pavement leading into the street.
Rays of sunlight glistened against my skin, forcing me to squint as I wandered toward nowhere in particular.
It truly was not until something happened to you that you understood its weight. While I had mentally prepared myself for the possibility of Leo discovering the truth about Kai and me, I had never imagined it would hit this hard.
My entire body still pulsed with fear. Leo meant every word.
Did I blame him?
Of course not. He had every right to hate me. To hate Kai.
Especially me.
He had every right to rip out my hair and throw me into some dungeon where he could torture me day and night. I truly did the unthinkable, and I hated how willingly I played along with it, basking in the pleasure it brought me.
Kai was wrong about one thing. Leo was not the delusional one. I was.
I had deluded myself into believing Kai and I could ever have a chance while I stood there watching him and Leo build a future together, while the entire pack already knew about their arrangement. I did not deserve either of them, just as the universe had decided I did not deserve to remain with my parents.
The dream had come at the perfect time. It was a reminder.
A reminder that I should have died alongside them.
That night, my life should have ended.