Click
The sound of a camera shutter going off reached my ear and I pulled the shades off my face to of it. The lens of the camera flashed in the glass in front of me and I angled my face to get more of it on camera.
If they wanted a show, we would give them one-dangerously close to real.
Damian followed my lead as he posed for the camera as well without making it seem natural. He didn’t even have to try. Just standing next to him made it look like I belonged there.
Click click
A few more camera clicks went off in rapid succession at our actions and I realized that our act was working.
The small coffee shop we had chosen was a small walk away from Damian’s place. It had a cozy atmosphere and was high-class enough that no one would question why someone as famous as Damian was here.
At the same time, it was also private enough to justify it being a dating place for some people and no one would find out.
Private... but not private enough to stop me from noticing every brush of his breath, every shift of his body.
So how had the reporters found this place? It was simply because of a small ’tip’ I had left them.
"They are still clicking photos. Make sure you face them and let them capture you clearly."
I reminded Damian and he turned around as I had asked him to. He had a talent for acting that he might not have even realized as he turned around and leaned close to me. Too close. Close enough that my pulse forgot what pretending meant.
His lips rested inches away from my ears and he made sure he was away from the side where those reporters with cameras were.
"Is this better?"
Damian asked and his breath brushed against my ear. I felt a shiver go down my spine that I tried to control. I also resisted the urge to reach my hand toward my ear and rub my ear to get rid of the shiver I felt.
I hated how quickly my body reacted to him... and how much a part of me wanted him to notice.
From our reflection in the glass, it looked like we were kissing. But in reality, all Damian was doing was whispering in my ear... which was not any less intimate than kissing.
Maybe it was even worse-because whispers can’t be explained away.
Still, we had no physical contact and all our actions were done in order to fool the people into believing what we wanted. At least that’s what we kept telling ourselves.
"You are doing good. Perhaps, you should pull back-"
"Wait a second. We need to make your reaction a little more genuine."
Damian told me before he blew air on my ear. The sudden action caused me to shiver and I immediately put my hand on my ear to block the air.
My cheeks gained some red to them and when Damian pulled back, he looked a little startled but his eyes contained amusement and he let out a chuckle.
He looked at me like he’d just discovered a weakness-one he liked far too much.
"You... what do you think you are doing?"
I hissed these words out. I tried to keep my reaction as neutral as I could, but I was not able to control myself perfectly.
Damian noticed my reactions and seemed to... be enjoying my fury? He even chuckled as he looked at me.
A man far too used to control suddenly thrilled by someone he couldn’t control at all. It reminded me of who he used to be.
"Ah, please forgive me. I just... found your reactions amusing and refreshing. As you know, people around me don’t tend to... be as free as you have been with me. It is nice to be with you like this."
Damian told me and his voice sounded genuine. Too genuine. Like he meant more than he should.
Even if our date and relationship was fake, the mere fact that we were together seemed to make Damian joyous.
And that, more than anything, made me feel sorry for him. Sorry-because he deserved something real, and I was everything but.
"I understand. Your line of work is... not the most stable. You should look for someone who understands you and keeps up with you once it is all over."
Somehow, these words left a bitter taste in my mouth. Even if I knew that they were the right thing to say in my mind, my heart did not agree.
The words hurt, like I had punched myself in the ribs instead of him.
It kept wanting to tell me that I should hold on to Damian for as long as I can.
’Is it my loneliness talking, or my heart... whatever it is, I need to tone it down. This man is not mine to have and he has made it more than clear to me as well.’
Damian’s face smiled when he looked at me, but I could tell that something had unsettled him at my words as well. His smile did not reach his eyes as he looked at me.
"Perhaps, you are right. Once it’s all over, I should look forward to settling down... right? But for some reason, the very thought is..."
Damian trailed off, not wanting to continue. I just sipped my coffee as I watched him get lost in his own thoughts. He looked haunted-by something he didn’t want, or something he wanted too much.
Snap
The sudden sound of a camera snapped me out of my daze and made me realize where we were and what we were doing.
So I not-so-subtly reached for Damian’s hand, causing him to look at me. I told myself it was for the cameras. My heart knew better.
"I’m sure it’ll be fine. You do not have to worry about much. Now, shall we leave?"
I asked, my eyes looking subtly at the reflection of the camera in the glass. Damian caught my meaning and he tightened his hold around my hand.
His grip made my wrist feel like they were burning. Everywhere he touched, I could feel my body shudder as I tried to control myself. If this was pretending, I didn’t want to know what real would do to me.
Whether Damian noticed my reaction or not was not something I got to think about because he tugged me out behind him.
His pace was slow enough for me to be able to keep up with him and he was calm enough for his expression to come off as serene and not annoyed.
And yet, something about the way he moved made me feel like he was frustrated... not at me but at himself.
As if he was fighting the same battle I was-and losing.
I felt too aware of him but I felt even more aware of the cameras following us.
Those cameras were something I had invited and they were here to help me out. But somehow, all I wanted was for these cameras to go away.
Because without them, I wouldn’t have a single excuse left for wanting him this close.
My feelings felt conflicted, not allowing me to know what exactly I wanted.
But every step with his hand around mine made it clearer-I wanted him. And I wasn’t supposed to.