In Xicheng in January, the winter was bitingly cold, and the wind scraping against one’s face stung with pain. He Yan drove a jeep, turning left and right, and circled the vicinity of the university for nearly half an hour before finally finding a parking spot. By the time he got out of the car, the sky was gradually darkening. He glanced at his phone; it was just past six. He didn’t know if Wen Xue was in her student dormitory.
His memory of it was too blurry.
He only vaguely remembered that after his younger brother’s burial and the erection of his tombstone, he had given Wen Xue a ride back to the university. At that time, she wasn’t in a good state, looking forlorn and lonely. He was worried she might faint on the way, so he simply took her suitcase and silently walked her to the entrance of her dormitory building.
Only after watching her go inside did he rub his face and turn to leave with large strides.
It seemed like something that had happened half a year ago, but for the He Yan of this moment, eight years had already passed.
He had no idea why he was having such a bizarre experience. Just the day before, he had been at a business dinner until late at night. The driver had taken him back to his hotel, and he had lain down, watching the light on the ceiling blur into circles. He closed his eyes in contemplation for a moment, fished his phone out of his alcohol-reeking suit, and sent a message. Before he could get a reply, his eyelids grew heavier and heavier, and he fell into a deep sleep.
When he opened his eyes again, he had returned to eight years ago.
“Roasted sweet potatoes, fragrant and sweet roasted sweet potatoes—”
“Come take a look, come on in and see! Great quality and low prices, guaranteed to be cooked through and sweet—”
A vendor had set up a stall, hawking his wares with his hands in his pockets while keeping an eye out for the city management officers. At the slightest sign of trouble, he would hop on his tricycle and flee.
He Yan shut the car door with a slam. He didn’t rush into the university. Instead, he pulled a pack of cigarettes from his pocket, lit one with a lighter, and took a drag. The smoke blurred his rugged features. His face was expressionless. Before he had even finished the cigarette, he stubbed it out and tossed it into a nearby trash can. Without further hesitation, he followed his memory and walked into the university.
After the exam week, the once-bustling campus had slowly quieted down.
Batch after batch of students, eager to return home, had left. He Yan glanced around and found that his memory wasn’t too bad; he still remembered the route he had taken only once. After walking for a while, stopping here and there, and asking for directions, he successfully arrived at the women’s dormitory building. Under the inquisitive gaze of the dorm manager, he said, “Excuse me, could you please call Wen Xue for me? Wen as in ‘to hear,’ Xue as in ‘snow.'”
He didn’t have Wen Xue’s current contact information; all he knew was this address.
It wasn’t that he hadn’t thought of asking his brother’s friends first, but the last time he had seen her before his rebirth was too deeply etched in his mind. He felt a sense of urgency, as if a moment’s delay would send her back down her original, bumpy road.
“Who are you?” the dorm manager asked with a frown.
“Her brother.”
“Which dorm room is she in?”
With so many students living in the building, it was impossible for the manager to remember every name. Even if she did, she still had to follow procedure.
He Yan paused. He really didn’t know.
He and Wen Xue were not close. In his past life, they had met only a handful of times. Back then, she was his younger brother He Heng’s girlfriend. The two had secretly started dating in high school, but thankfully, it hadn’t affected their studies, and they both got into a university here in Xicheng. The first time he met her was in a small restaurant in Xicheng.
At that time, his brother was with her for some concert, and they had a meal together.
She spoke very little, her voice soft and gentle. When he handed her the menu to order, she lowered her gaze, clutched a pencil, and after a long while, ordered the two cheapest dishes.
The second time they met was during the Spring Festival. He was busy with his business and couldn’t get away, but he was worried about his brother spending the holiday alone. He bought a last-minute train ticket and rushed back. When he squeezed out of the massive crowd, she and his brother were waiting at the station exit.
Seeing him, she was still a bit shy and softly called him “Brother.”
The third time they met…
“Hey, who did you say you were looking for?” A girl came in, taking off her thick scarf and asking curiously with a blink of her eyes.
He Yan looked at her. “Wen Xue. Do you know her?”
“Of course,” the girl smiled. “She’s my roommate.”
At this, she seemed to become wary. “What do you want with Wen Xue?”
He couldn’t be another one of those persistent pursuers, could he?
When Wen Xue first enrolled as a freshman, she had attracted a lot of attention. She was pretty, with a gentle personality, and was kind to everyone. Not only did boys like someone like that, but girls liked her even more. Throughout her freshman year, many had pursued her, but she had a boyfriend with whom she was deeply in love. They were in different departments but saw each other whenever they had free time, and their relationship was sweet. Over time, the pursuers realized they had no chance and gave up.
No one expected her boyfriend to die in an accident during the summer vacation before their sophomore year.
The incident had even made the news: a university student had acted heroically to save a drowning child. The child was saved, but he never made it back to shore. Many sighed in sorrow, and it even sparked a debate. Some said he should have saved the child, while others argued that if it meant sacrificing one’s own life, he shouldn’t have. The argument raged for days.
Regardless, Wen Xue no longer had a boyfriend.
Under the guise of comforting her, one or two people tried to take advantage of the situation, and the number of those attempting to move in on her increased during the first semester of their sophomore year.
“I’m her brother,” He Yan said.
But the girl shook her head, looking at him even more strangely. “That’s not right. Wen Xue doesn’t have a brother.”
Having been roommates for over a year, they knew a fair bit about each other’s situations.
Of the four people in their undergraduate dorm room, only their dorm leader had a younger brother; the rest had no siblings.
What a liar!
Just as she was about to ask the dorm manager to kick him out, she heard his deep voice say, “Her boyfriend’s brother. Miss, could you please do me a favor and call her down? Tell her He Yan is looking for her. She’ll understand.”
…
In dorm room 503.
Someone was humming a song while packing her luggage. Exam week was over. Freedom!
Someone else was clattering away on a keyboard, then suddenly stopped, leaned back, and called out, “Hey beauties, I found a deal here, it’s a real bargain! Ninety-eight yuan for a hot spring ticket, round-trip transportation included, and it comes with a foot massage. Afterward, we can play pool and pick strawberries there. Who’s in?”
“For real?!”
The roommate who was packing her luggage ran over excitedly, leaning over to look at the computer screen. The two chatted enthusiastically, and after a silent exchange of glances, they looked in unison at Wen Xue, who was reading a book. Clearing her throat, one of them asked in a somewhat cautious tone, “Wen Xue, do you want to go?”
Wen Xue was completely immersed in her own world, automatically blocking out all sounds.
This had been her normal state for the entire semester.
It was as if she had unconsciously sealed herself off.
The three people in the dorm were all very considerate of her feelings, trying their best not to laugh or talk too loudly and carefully keeping her company. But as days turned into weeks and weeks into months, everyone was getting tired. Everyone’s energy is finite, and they couldn’t help but want to distance themselves from negative people and things. Even though Wen Xue just quietly swallowed her grief alone, even crying in secret, her mere presence in the room made them feel as if even being happy and laughing was a sin.
She wasn’t at fault.
But neither were they. They couldn’t pull her out, nor could they ignore her. In the small four-person dorm room, it felt as if emotional balloons were piled up, and they were afraid of accidentally popping one. Everyone felt helpless.
Seeing that Wen Xue didn’t respond, they exchanged a helpless glance and gently shook their heads. Forget it.
Creak—
The door was pushed open from the outside. Ye Manni, panting, didn’t come all the way in but clung to the door as if she were about to pass out. “I’m exhausted… Wen Xue… someone’s looking for you…”
After being called several times, Wen Xue finally lifted her head in a daze and looked toward the door. “Manni, what did you say? I’m sorry, I didn’t hear you just now.”
Ye Manni tossed her scarf onto a chair, walked over, and patted her chest. “There’s a guy downstairs looking for you. He says he’s your brother.” She paused, her voice softening. “He said he’s He Heng’s brother, named He Yan. Do you know him?”
He Yan.
Wen Xue was in a trance. Her reactions had been a bit slow lately. It often took a while for her to understand what people were saying.
A few seconds later, a figure emerged in her mind, matching the name. She hurriedly closed her book and stood up. “He’s downstairs?”
Ye Manni nodded, then asked, “Do you want me to go with you?”
“No, it’s okay.” Wen Xue heard the concern in her voice and pressed her lips together. “I’ve met him before. He’s a good person. He’s probably looking for me about something urgent.”
As for what urgent matter it was, she had no idea.
“Okay then. Be safe. Call us if you need anything.”
Wen Xue managed a faint smile, grabbed her phone and wallet, and left. She hadn’t looked at herself carefully in a mirror for a long time. Her hair had grown much longer, now reaching her waist. It was only when she felt a little dizzy on her way downstairs that she remembered she hadn’t eaten dinner. Her last meal had been the porridge she had for breakfast.
By the time she got from the fifth floor to the first, she was also out of breath.
When she reached the first floor, the dorm manager was leaning against the wall, knitting. Her eyes kept darting toward He Yan outside, thinking that if he didn’t leave in another half hour, she would call security. What was a tall, burly man doing loitering around a women’s dormitory!
Wen Xue walked out of the dormitory building and immediately saw He Yan standing on the steps.
It got dark early in winter, and the streetlights outside hadn’t turned on yet. He Yan seemed to be shrouded in a layer of frost. He was very tall, with a broad back, and as he stood there ramrod straight, his presence was so strong that people passing by couldn’t help but glance at him.
She opened her mouth, wanting to call out to him, but the cold wind seemed to rush into her throat, making it incredibly difficult.
Calling him “Brother” now didn’t seem appropriate anymore. The faint connection they had was only because of He Heng, and with He Heng’s passing, it was completely severed. They were not related by blood or marriage, no different from strangers.
She still remembered the last thing he said to her when he walked her to her dorm building at the start of her sophomore year: “You still have a long life ahead of you. Live it well.”
Before Wen Xue could think of a better way to address him, He Yan seemed to sense something and turned his head. The light from the dormitory building illuminated his face. As someone who had been navigating the tough world of society from a young age, he exuded a cold, stern aura. The moment their eyes met, his furrowed brow relaxed. Without hesitation, he strode toward her.
One step, then another.
When he was standing in front of her, he skipped the unnecessary pleasantries and asked, “Have you eaten?”
Wen Xue was taken aback. “Not yet.”
He Yan had been waiting here for a while. His thick skin didn’t feel the cold, but he saw the students passing by stomping their feet and rubbing their palms, their faces red from the chill. Then he looked at Wen Xue, so thin that her chin was sharp, and mused, “Let’s find a warm place to eat first. We can talk while we eat.”