C
“You don’t have to take the role, you know?” I whisper as we walk across the school yard. All around us, kids are leaving school, cheerful on their way to the bus station and then home, where TVs, gaming consoles, books, and parents await.
Meanwhile, Noelle and I are walking somewhere together in school for the first time in years. Noelle’s on her way to the semester’s first meeting of the drama club, and, of course, I’m going as well. It’s just going to be a lot easier if I’m there as well, and anyway, if Noelle and I start to ‘hang out’ again, we might as well start here. I didn’t tell her just how much that part meant to me, or how the butterflies swarmed in my chest when she agreed.
So our story is that Noelle convinced me to tag along, for old times’ sake, and for now I’m going to be a little reluctant, but grow into it as time goes on. Sure, I’ll have to go slowly, but there’s no way I’m going to spend the rest of my life as Noel on my own.
Noelle looks up. “Do you think it’s a bad idea?”
We both know Vivienne is very much of the opinion that Noelle should play the role—she did write it for her, after all. For me. What does it matter? The point is that playing the role of the female lead immediately after swapping bodies with me seems like quite the undertaking from my perspective.
I shrug. “I have faith in your abilities, so I’m definitely not saying you’re not up to the task. I just meant… if you’re uncomfortable with it, that’s completely okay. I haven’t played a main role yet, so it wouldn’t be too out of the ordinary.” That’s also the reason why Vivienne wrote the play to begin with—because she thinks it’s criminal that I’m not in Hollywood yet. “But we would have to tell her immediately, because if I know her she’s probably gonna start lobbying for it the moment everybody’s there. She’s probably already started.”
Noelle shakes her head. “If people want me to play the role, I’ll try. We’ve got several months, so if it gets too bad, we can always swap back.”
Right. So not the point, but okay. I hold myself back from replying as we enter the building with the assembly hall. The building is almost entirely deserted by this point, except for two other kids from our year who are also walking towards the large, almost gate-like entrance doors to the assembly hall.
“Chloe, Noel!” Neels Leighton calls with his trademark grin, raising a huge hand to wave at us. Impossibly, he’s even bigger than Jason, who’s walking next to him, also waving.
Noelle slows uncertainly, hesitating briefly, then stops completely and waves back. “Heya!” It sounds exactly the way we trained, and I have to suppress a little smile as I make sure to keep my gaze unsteady, watching the boys come closer from the corner of my eye.
There’s a short pause, and I know that Noelle should be talking right now. I’d be asking them why they’re here, because this building isn’t very close to the gym, and where Lucy is, because why are both of them here without her?
Neels and Jason are both cheerleading bases, and Lucille Mason, or Lucy, is their flyer. The three are close friends, but when Lucy wasn’t with them, she’d recently been hanging out with Vivi and me. Yet another mark in my list of popular people I wanted to be friends with, although, admittedly, Lucy was even easier than Vivi.
“I assume you’re also here for drama club?” Neels asks graciously, enunciating ‘drama club’ dramatically. He’s not doing it to be mean, though, I know that much. He’s just a very unserious person.
Noelle nods. “Vivi’s forcing me, so I thought I’d force him as well. You know, shared suffering and everything.” It’s a line we actually rehearsed earlier. It’s funny and diverts attention from the fact that nobody has seen us talk in four years. Most of the people in our years haven’t ever, actually, because we went to a different school in our middle school years.
“What about you?”
Neels’ grin widens, and he puts his arm around Jason’s shoulders. His bicep looks almost bigger than my thigh from having just worked out. “Oh, I just came to watch, but Casanova here fancies himself an actor.”
Jason goes beet red, but lets it happen, trying to play it over with a grin. “Well, I guess we’ll see about acting, but I would like to try it.”
“I’m sure it’ll be fun,” Noelle says, sounding a little mechanical. Even so, I’m proud of her for finding the ‘correct’ reply so quickly.
Together, we walk on, and Neels holds the door open for us.
The assembly hall is big. There are rows upon rows of chairs stacked like stairs up until they disappear in the dark, enough to seat the entire school at once, which really means something. That’s also the reason why plenty of other events from outside the school take place here.
All of the lights are currently turned off, except for the ones on stage. A circle of chairs sits illuminated underneath them, with familiar people in them.
Vivi waves at us when she sees us come through the door, and it takes me a moment too long to realise that she’s not looking at me; her eyes and smile are focused on Noelle.
“There you are! I was about to come looking!”
She gets up swiftly and meets us halfway, hugging Noelle tightly. As if they hadn’t met in weeks. But that’s Vivi’s way, and I’d be lying if I said I didn’t love that about her. Stepping back from Noelle, she looks at the rest of us.
“Well, if this isn’t a pleasant surprise,” she says, smiling welcomingly. “Are all of you here to try out for a part?”
Neels shakes his head. “I’m not, but the others are.”
Vivi nods. “Happy to have you.” Her eyes fall on me as she says those words, as if she could see right through my facade..
But the moment is over just as quickly as it came, and Vivi turns back around to Noelle.
“This is great!” she says in her bubbly way. “That means we definitely have enough people for all the relevant roles, and maybe even for the side characters.”
Neels, Jason, and I hang a little behind as Vivi steers Noelle to the seat next to hers.
“Last chance to chicken out gracefully,” Neels whispers, elbowing Jason. I don’t even have to look up to know he’s grinning.
“What do you mean gracefully?” Jason protests. “Ain’t no way I’m leaving when I already told her I’m here for a part.”
Growing self-conscious over the fact that I’m listening in on their conversation, I quicken my steps slightly and sit down next to Noelle. We discussed beforehand that I would sit next to her. It wouldn’t make sense for ‘Noelle’ to sit anywhere but next to the person who encouraged her to come in the first place.
Thinking about it, I should probably get used to referring to myself as Noel even in my own thoughts sooner rather than later. And I need to start thinking of Noelle as Chloe, because that’s her name now, isn’t it?
The nudge of an elbow startles me from my thoughts. When I look up, both Noelle—no, N and Vivi are looking at me, N with a perfectly empty expression and Vivi with a slightly amused smile.
“Sorry?” She must’ve been calling my name, but I didn’t react because I’m not used to the new name yet. Well, that’s yet another thing I’ll have to get better at. I should really be paying more attention, especially around somebody as attentive as Vivi.
Vivi leans in a little. “I was asking what made you want to join us today. Do you already have a specific part in mind?”
I shrug nervously. Of course, I absolutely do have a part in mind that I would like to do. The male lead. The one who falls in love with Noe—N’s part. But there’s no chance in hell I’ll get that. Not just because I’m not popular enough in this body to get a desired role in a democratic process, but also because Noel isn’t supposed to want it to begin with.
So I shrug. “I haven’t really read the script yet.” An outrageous lie, obviously. I’ve read it five times during the process of copy editing, so nobody would look weirdly at Vivi for having included typos. I know the plot by heart and even some of the more memorable lines.
I cast a questioning glance at N. “What was the name of the guy you told me I might like to play again?”
“Mika,” N says slowly.
For the fraction of a second, doubt flashes across Vivi’s face, but she suppresses it quickly. “Sure! I can see it, yeah.”
The play Vivi wrote is about a girl and a boy who meet in their dreams and fall in love with each other. But the boy, Nico, doesn’t recognise the girl, Ruby, because she disguises herself to meet him in her dreams, because she thinks she doesn’t deserve to be loved and nobody could love her anyway. So Nico goes on a wild goose chase in the waking world, trying to track down Ruby, who goes to the same school as him.
The part of Mika isn’t exactly a small one. Not a big one either, but definitely not small. Mika is the best friend of the male lead, Nico, who kind of advises him in his search for his dream Cinderella.
But it’s not like Vivi is making any promises. The whole group is going to vote for who’s going to get which role, simply because Vivi doesn’t want the hassle of being blamed for those decisions—a stance which I understand painfully well. Just because she tries to be nice to me doesn’t mean I’m actually going to get the part.
Before I know it, Vivi is talking to N again, and I look around the room. I know everybody here by name, and though I wouldn’t call all of them friends, because I haven’t spent enough time with them yet, I do like all of them.
Nur Shamas, sitting only a few seats to my left, is on the quieter side, but I always liked being around her. I found that once I engage her in a conversation, she’s a delight to talk to; so kind and funny in a slightly dry but by no means malicious way. Briefly, I feel the urge to scoot over and start talking to her. I haven’t talked to her since the new year started. I must have been so preoccupied with N that I never really found the time.
Now I feel bad about that, because I can’t really talk to her now, can I? Not the way I used to.
But I force myself to sit still in spite of the urge, and force my gaze onwards along the circle of chairs.
There are two girls from the year below us, chattering in low voices, giggling. I think their names are Milly and Lisa. I haven’t ever talked to them. If I were Chloe now, I’d already be planning my first interaction with them, designing it to put them at ease until they see me as one of their own. I’d be smiling at them gently whenever I caught their eyes with mine, making sure not to look at them too much. Then I’d be overtly nice and encouraging towards them during the try-outs for the parts, and finally chat to them on the way out. By next week, they’d be looking forward to seeing me again.
Finally, I see Vivi straighten in her chair at the sight of her wrist watch, as she clears her throat.
“Okay, everybody, I think this is everybody who’s going to show up today. Let’s get started, why don’t we?”
Around the circle, everybody straightens and fixes their eyes on Vivi.
She begins to explain the procedure. Everybody will get a turn to say their name, their year and what part they would like to play. If there are several people trying out for the same part, everybody interested will get a turn to perform a short scene as the part and the rest of the group will finally decide on who’s most fit for the part.
Vivi speaks with a calm confidence, using gestures to emphasise her words, eyes travelling around the circle to address everybody personally. She has a way of talking, of pulling people’s attention in and keeping it, that I’ve always admired. She’s so effortless.
Excluding Neels, we’re eleven people trying out for parts. That will cover most of the roles Vivi planned, leaving only two side characters open who were created specifically in a way that people could double in roles. So everybody should get something.
We start going around the circle. Of course, there are several people who want to play the part of Ruby, but N started the introductory round, so everybody already expects her to get the part from the start. Even Milly and Lisa, while saying that they would like to play Ruby, say it with grins that give away their awareness that they’re unlikely to actually get the part. As was planned, I say that I would like to play the part of Mika, and surprisingly, I don’t really get any competition there. Nur would like to play Sarah, Ruby’s best friend in school.
Finally, it’s Jason’s turn, and he straightens, rolling his shoulders as everybody’s eyes turn to meet his.
“Hi, I’m Jason,” he says with a vague half-grin. “I’m in my twelfth year, and I would like to play Nico.”