N
“Hi, Chloe! Looking great tonight!” Jason says as he pulls the door open, music and laughter spilling past him into the night. “I’m glad you could make it!”
My lips pull into a smile, and I decide to ignore the fact that I don’t look very different from my usual attire. “Of course I came! How could I ever miss this?”
His left hand twitches as I come up the steps to the door, as if wanting to hug me but being too uncertain about it, and I raise my right arm in offering.
Jason freezes for a fraction of a second, then steps forward and leans down to hug me. I like the way his large frame makes me feel small in his arms. As I put my arms around him, I feel the shift of his back muscles against the palms of my hands. He smells of a distinctly masculine cologne—the kind that makes somebody smell clean and like they take good care of themselves. I’ve never smelled it on him before, but then what do I know?
He quickly lets go of me again and steps back, and for a moment, I wonder whether I’m imagining the additional colour in his face. It’s probably just the lighting, though.
Finally, I walk past him and, after leaving my shoes neatly by the pile of the others’, into the main room.
Jason’s house isn’t huge, but it’s large enough to host a party comfortably. It lies at the edge of town, so the garden is pretty big, even though the house doesn’t look particularly expensive. His parents definitely don’t have to worry about money either way.
It’s only early evening, but it’s already dark out. Most of the people have already been here for a few hours, it’s Saturday, after all, but I didn’t want to come too early. Even so, it’ll be another hour or two before C arrives, because she took Jas to the cinema earlier, and he apparently ended up picking a longer movie.
Aside from C and a few of the outsiders, everybody’s here. Most of the people are sitting, it looks like things are still pretty chill for now. Most of the boys, especially the ‘backrow-boys’ are sitting around the dining table, playing cards, while a large portion of the girls are clustered around the sofas, sitting and chatting. Some of them are already dancing a little, but only hesitantly. Nobody ever really dances at these parties, C told me.
Vivi waves at me as Jason and I enter the main room. She, Lila and Nur are sitting on the right couch, Lucy laid across their laps, craning her head to look at me, grinning drunkenly.
“Can I get you a drink?” Jason asks as I’m about to walk towards them, making me stop and turn back towards him.
“Uhm, yes, please!” I grin up at him. I’m in a good mood tonight. I made it through another week, I already did all my homework, which means I’ll have all of tomorrow to sleep in and go on a relaxed run and study a little more. It’ll be nice.
But most of all, I have the freedom to relax tonight, to be here in this moment and think of nothing else.
“The usual?” he asks, winking.
“Yes!” Even though I don’t know what that entails.
I watch as he takes a glass, and an unlabelled bottle from the very back of the alcohol section of the table, putting a good swig into the glass before filling it with ginger ale, some brown sugar, ice, and a lemon slice.
“Here ya go,” he says, indicating a bow as he hands me the glass. “The Chloe special!”
I grin nervously as I accept the glass. I didn’t know Chloe drank at these parties. Didn’t she say she hated everything about alcohol? I’ve never had alcohol, so I wouldn’t know how to behave intoxicated, what if—
I take a sip, and the drink tastes perfectly normal. Sweet, prickly, cold in the already-stuffy room.
Jason’s watching me, waiting for my approval, so I give him a thumbs up. “Thanks!”
He returns the gesture, lingering for a moment longer before walking back to the dining table, where Neels is waiting for him next to an empty seat.
My phone buzzes in my back pocket, and I get it out to see that C just messaged me.
Noel: By the way, the ‘Chloe Special’ is a drink Jason makes for me where he acts like he puts alcohol in but doesn’t, just so you know.
Right. With a huff more than a laugh, I make my way over to the other girls, stopping before them.
“Hmm, looking a little crowded here,” I say, peering down at them.
Lila grins. “We could stack you on top of Lucy?”
“Yeees!” Lucy yells excitedly. “Gimme that juicy class rep butt!”
“Get in line!” somebody yells from across the room, making Lucy break into a breathless fit of giggles.
Lila nods earnestly, scrunching her nose. “Yeah, we’re all here for that juicy class rep butt!”
I meet her eyes, and there’s a moment where my thoughts stall, trying to determine how I should react. But then something at the back of my mind kicks into gear and I clap my hands, grinning. “Alright, who’s first?”
“Vivi, obviously,” Lila says, her expression not even budging.
I raise an eyebrow, trying to catch Vivi’s eyes while she’s doing everything in her power to keep me from succeeding. Her face has gone positively red.
After a brief hesitation, I sit down on the sofa’s armrest, next to Vivi, and put my arm around her. I lean in and say in my best drunk-fuck-boy-trying-to-be-seductive voice, “Hey beautiful, whatcha doing later?”
Lucy, whose head is coincidentally in Vivi’s lap, turns red as she struggles for breath, curling up from laughter.
“Hmm, she’s looking rather comfortable, don’t you think?” I go on. “I think I’d fit even better into that place.”
Vivi gives a strangled noise that could be a sob just as well as suppressed laughter.
“Get a room!” Nur wheezes.
I turn on her, acting enraged. “UHM, HELLO? What do you think I’m trying to do right now?”
Finally, I break character, laughing with the others, leaning into Vivi, who’s finally put an arm around my waist, stabilising me on the arm rest.
It takes some time before we’ve calmed down again. Even as I’m still giggling lazily, I lean my head against Vivi’s shoulder and let her pull me closer. She’s warm in a comfortable way.
“Get here okay?” she says as I feel her head turn slightly.
I give a slight nod. “Bus got delayed, but it’s not that cold anymore, so it was fine.”
“I could take you back later? I drove.”
“That’d be great.”
It’s really fortunate that C and I swapped bodies during winter. Fewer parties take place this time of the year, and I had enough time to find my way into this new life. Right now, I feel pretty comfortable, even without C around to make sure I don’t accidentally out myself.
Around us, the party begins to liven up. Voices from the dining table get louder as the alcohol sets in and from the kitchen I hear the sound of glass shattering followed by shouts and laughter.
Neels approaches us not much later. His big grin seems somehow even bigger than usual as he announces, “Yo, party people! We’re going outside to play flunkyball. Any of yous wanna join?”
“Me!” Lucy yells, flailing her arm, still lying across the girls’ laps. “I’ll just have to get up.” She begins to turn, probably intending to just roll off the sofa and onto the ground, but Neels is faster.
“No need,” he smirks, as he takes her by the midriff and throws her over his shoulder. Just like that. As if she weighed nothing.
Lucy shrieks with laughter, but lets it happen.
While I’m still staring, Vivi elbows me lightly. “Wanna go as well? There’s no oxygen left in this room. I could stand to get outside a little, stay with the action.”
Pretty much everybody’s going. As I look, Nur and Lila get up. If I don’t go, I’ll be one of the last people left inside, with only a single group of three people sitting in the far corner, chatting among themselves.
With a short nod, I get up as well.
We don’t go far. There’s great lighting in the backyard, with fairy lights strung along the shed roof emitting warm light. C is probably gonna arrive soon, but she’ll have no trouble finding us here.
There, the boys alongside Lucy and Lila divide up into two teams, forming lines across from each other roughly fifteen metres apart. An empty beer bottle is placed at the centre and every player places a full one by their feet. The players have to topple the beer bottle in the middle with a football. If they hit, their team has as long as it takes the other team to put the bottle upright again to drink their beers. Whichever team has no full bottles left wins.
The game starts, and we watch. As I said earlier, it’s a surprisingly warm night. Even now, when the sun has long gone down, I’m pretty comfortable with my coat and scarf.
Lucy is an absolutely terrible shot, it turns out. Lila, who joined the opposite team, is much better. But that makes sense, because she’s on a handball team.
Neither of them drinks particularly quickly, and Lila is the last on her team to still have beer. But nobody seems to care.
Lila’s team is obviously going to win, but then Lucy hits the bottle, and somehow manages to finish her beer. Her team erupts in a cacophony of celebratory shouts that must be audible even at the opposite end of the road.
“Neels!” Lucy yells over the chaos, taking off her hoodie. She’s wearing a cropped long sleeve top underneath that exposes her midriff, and as I’m watching, she straightens herself, raising her hands as if she were about to do a cartwheel.
Neels sees and immediately straightens as well, taking on a more stable stance. “Com’ere, girl!”
“You’re both drunk!” Jason protests, but he positions himself next to Neels anyway. He decided to stay sober today, since it’s his place that will get potentially wrecked if he stops paying attention for a moment too long.
A second later, Lucy takes a two-step run-up before a somersault right into Neels. Except he catches her by the waist just she’s upside down in front of him and throws her. As everybody around us cheers, she flies up and up, rotating gracefully before she lands right-side up with both feet in Neels’ steady hands.
Well, not so steady, because a second later, she topples sideways with a yelp, right into Jason’s waiting arms.
Both Lucy and Neels are laughing their bloody asses off, while Jason seems annoyed in his good-natured way.
“That’s enough for you tonight,” he tells Lucy, attempting to be stern. “I’m not risking you falling when you don’t even know which way the floor is.”
She sticks her tongue out at him, grinning, but doesn’t attempt to go again.
“It’s so wild,” Nur says next to me. “Every time I see it.”
“You’re crazy!” She yells then, when Jason looks in our direction as if sensing that she’s talking about him.
Giving a quick look over his shoulder as if to assure himself that Lucy won’t do any more breakneck manoeuvres the moment he looks away, he comes over to us, evidently excluding himself from the next match of flunkyball.
“They’re usually a lot better,” he states, as if that weren’t obvious. “Y’know, when they’re not drunk. That trick isn’t actually hard.”
Lila, who’s also joined us, raises an eyebrow. “Could I do it?”
He shrugs. “How drunk are you?”
“Not very?”
“Then you could probably do it. Or, I guess without the somersault at least.” Turning his head, he yells, “Neels!” to which the blonde boy immediately turns and jogs over, preparing to be Jason’s spotter.
“Aight, let’s go!” She’s grinning as she turns around and positions herself with her back to him. “What do I have to do?”
“Engage your core,” he instructs, hiking up her hoodie enough to put his hands on her waist. “And stay straight. I’ll be the one balancing you mostly. On three you jump and I’ll toss you.”
She gives a short nod. “But don’t tell the elf!”
Jason doesn’t seem to get the reference. “One—two—three!”
Lila jumps and Jason throws her. As per his instructions, she stays perfectly straight and he catches her feet in his outstretched hands, taking a few little steps as he stabilises her before going still.
Lila grins down at us a little tensely.
“How’s the view from up there?” asks Nur.
“You’re even tinier than usual,” Lila shoots back.
“Okay, I’m gonna let you drop back down now. Keep your arms out of the way and your core engaged. And please for the love of God do not lock your knees.”
“Sir, yes, sir!” Lila yells, giving a yelp when he drops her, catching her easily by the waist and setting her down gently on her feet.
“That was so cool!” she exclaims immediately after, turning to give him a high five.
“All you, all you,” he returns, grinning.
Next to him, Neels raises a hand. “Anybody else? Anybody else? If not I’ll be returning to my drinking game.”
Right then, Jason locks eyes with me, tilting his head just barely as if to say, What about it?
I pull a face. “I don’t think I’d be good at this.” It’s not that I’m uncomfortable with heights, but I’m not very used to—movement, I guess.
“You don’t have to be,” he says gently, as if to take the pressure off me. “If you fall, I’m going to catch you. If you wanna go slow, we can do a test throw first, not as high, so you can get used to it.”
Something twists in my stomach region and I can’t tell whether it’s excitement at the idea of doing something daring or the fear of failure. “Are you sure?”
He nods. “Hundred-percent. I will catch you. I’ve done this a thousand times, I promise.”
And somehow, that reassures me enough to take a step forward. “Okay, yeah. What can go wrong?”
Stopping before him, I take off my hoodie and toss it at Vivi, who catches it with raised eyebrows, watching intently as he puts his hands on my hips.
They’re surprisingly rough, his hands, but warm in spite of the weather.
I tense my core and engage my whole body to keep myself stiff.
“Ready?” he asks from behind me, and I give another nod.
“Okay. Three—two—one.”
As I jump, I feel myself grow suddenly light as he lifts me up high above his head. Up there, I become briefly weightless, before gravity catches up and I begin to drop. But his hands are still there, slowing my fall, setting me down so gently that I barely have to bend my knees. I must weigh nothing to him.
He lets go and asks, “Would you like to go for real now?”
And my stomach tingles pleasantly as I feel myself nod.
Once again, he counts down from three, and then I feel myself lift off once more, tensing my legs and keeping myself stiff to the best of my ability. I fly much higher this time, and I feel my heart stall as I reach the zenith of my flight, only to find that I’m not falling back down again. There are hands holding my shoes. Strong hands that refuse to let gravity pull me back down.
Around me, cheers echo through the night; louder than they were for Lila, louder even than they were for Lucy.
“CHLOE! CHLOE! CHLOE!”
A huge grin spreads over my face as I stretch my fists up into the air, giving a victory shout.
Then, still keeping my gaze fixed on the same spot of grass in the middle distance I’ve been staring at the entire time, I ask, “Can I try on one leg?”
“Go for it,” Jason replies, flattening his right hand so that he’s no longer holding my foot but just supporting it.
I raise my leg slowly, angling it only slightly at first, lowering my arms to the side, but keeping myself straight the entire time. Without fault, Jason keeps me steady, perfectly up right, until finally, my leg is fully angled.
The shouts around me grow deafening. My heart is racing from adrenaline, but my stomach is light with excitement, and even though I’m only wearing a T-shirt, I don’t feel the cold.
“I’ll have to set you down again now,” Jason announces finally, and I nod, lowering my leg right before he drops me, catching me with a firm grip on my waist.
It takes over an hour for the high to wear off after that. Together with Vivi and the others, I watch the boys play more games, and even let myself be bribed into joining a match by having a thoroughly rinsed bottle filled with sparkling water. I’m absolutely no use, of course, but nobody cares.
C doesn’t show. It takes me way too long to notice, and when I finally do, I find that she texted me that she’s too tired from hanging out with Jas all day and will try to make it next time. It is also then that I notice that a surprisingly sharp picture of me balancing on one leg on Jason’s hands, the cheering crowd of classmates around us, has been made the new picture of our year’s group chat.
When the others finally return inside to let the evening fade out with relaxing music and conversation, and maybe a less-intense game of cards, Vivi and I stay outside.
“Wanna go for a walk?” Vivi asks, and I nod.
In the dark of night, she leads me along the streets outside until we’re at the fringes of the residential area, where a broad walkway leads up a hill along the edge of the forest. There’s a bench there, halfway up the hill, and we sit down on it.
The view is perfect. We see the entire section of the city, and even some of the stars. The sound of cars is audible, but distant, almost swallowed by the breeze in the leaves.
“Did you enjoy today?” Vivi asks, taking my hand in hers to warm it.
I lean my head against her shoulder. The smile won’t leave my lips even now.
“Best day of my life, it feels like.”
Her thumb gently strokes the back of my hand. “I’m glad.” But then the movement stalls, and she says, haltingly, “You’re not—you’re not Chloe, are you?”