Lost in thought, Shen Li felt a sudden weight in her hand as she was handed a pair of chopsticks.
“San-lang is a big boy now,” Shen Li said, her voice soft and coaxing. “It’s time you learned to eat with chopsticks.”
She gave him a quick demonstration. To her surprise, the boy was incredibly bright; with just one look, he mimicked her grip perfectly.
A natural student, she thought, pushing a small dish of vinegar toward him. “Dip it in this before you take a bite.”
San-lang shot her a curious glance. He carefully pinched a meat bun, gave it a light soak in the vinegar, and took a massive bite. The explosion of savory flavor was so profound that even years later, when Xiao San-lang had become a Great General of the Realm, the memory of this single bun would remain etched in his soul.
As he chewed, heavy tears began to go patter-patter against the wooden table.
Shen Li panicked. “What’s wrong? Are you choking? Is it too hot?” She had assumed that since he’d already eaten a coarse corn bun earlier, he wouldn’t be in such a frantic rush. She hurriedly pushed a bowl of rice porridge toward him, her eyes scanning him for signs of distress, ready to perform the Heimlich maneuver if necessary.
“No… I’m not choking… and it’s not too hot,” San-lang stammered, pulling the bun away from his face and wiping his eyes with his sleeve. “It’s just… so good! Sister-in-law, how can anything taste this good? It’s better than wild herb bread!”
It was a bun filled with pure meat.
Since his brother had fallen ill, San-lang had only tasted a bun once. It was a half-eaten scrap Xiao Huairen had tossed into the yard for the dogs; San-lang had snatched it up, breaking it in half to share with his brother. Even that cold remnant—filled with nothing but vegetables and a bit of lard—had been the best thing he’d ever eaten.
His words felt like a needle to Shen Li’s heart. Looking at the boy’s thin, spindly frame, she reached out and ruffled his hair. “If it’s good, then eat your fill. If you like them, I’ll buy them for you from now on.”
“Mmm!” San-lang nodded vigorously, his cheeks bulging as he went back to work on the bun.
Shen Li placed a few buns in a bowl and brought them to the bedside. Fearing the filling might scald Xiao Er-lang, she tore them open, blowing on them carefully before lifting a morsel to his lips with her chopsticks.
Er-lang didn’t open his mouth. He looked at the bun, then at Shen Li, before casting a worried glance toward his little brother.
Shen Li knew what he was thinking—he wanted to save the food for her and San-lang. She turned back to the kitchen and brought the paper grease-wrap to the bed, opening it so he could see the bounty inside.
“See? There are plenty left. More than enough for the three of us.” She offered a small smile and tucked the paper back together.
Living without a refrigerator is going to be a nightmare, she realized. We’ll have to finish all of these by tomorrow.
She pressed the warm bun back to his lips, and only then did Er-lang finally take a bite. However, after only half a bun, he stopped. It wasn’t that he was full; it was the simple, cruel reality of his condition. If he ate and drank, nature would eventually call… and that required “cleaning up.”
He closed his eyes and looked away. If I don’t eat, I won’t have to deal with the shame, he thought.
“Eat a bit more,” Shen Li urged, holding the bun closer. “You’ll only recover if you keep your strength up.”
Still, he refused to open his mouth.
Suddenly, San-lang let out a sharp cry. “Sister-in-law! I forgot!”
He scrambled off his chair and bolted for the door.
“San-lang!” Shen Li dropped her chopsticks and gave chase, catching the little boy by the arm. “Where are you going?”
“Sister-in-law! I forgot Brother’s chamber pot at Aunt’s house! I have to go back and get it!” The boy’s face was a mask of sheer terror. In his world, this was a catastrophe of the highest order.
A wave of bitterness washed over Shen Li. This three-year-old child had been the one responsible for his brother’s daily needs, and even in their new home, his first thought was of his brother’s dignity.
San-lang began to sob, hitting his own head with his small fists. “It’s all my fault. I only thought about eating. Brother is hurting and he can’t even say anything! Waaaaah…”
Shen Li grabbed his hands to stop him from hurting himself. It was only then that she remembered her purchases from town.
“Don’t worry, I bought a new one. From now on, I’ll take care of these things. You just focus on eating and growing up big and strong.”
She patted his head and led him into one of the north rooms. The supplies from the ox cart were piled in the corner; she rummaged through a bundle and pulled out a chamber pot, handing it to the boy.
Chamber pots and commodes—the most basic of necessities, yet even more vital for a patient who couldn’t care for himself. How did I let him worry about this? she thought, feeling an urge to slap her own forehead.
San-lang looked at the new pot with wide, curious eyes. He hugged it to his chest and looked up at her tentatively. “Sister-in-law, can I give it to Brother now? He hasn’t gone all day. He must be so uncomfortable.”
“Go on,” Shen Li said with a soft smile.
San-lang vanished toward the side room like a streak of lightning.
By the time he came back out to empty the pot, he stopped in his tracks. He watched as his sister-in-law, all by herself, hoisted a massive wooden armchair onto her shoulder and marched into the bedroom.
Inside, Xiao Er-lang watched her cross the threshold with the heavy chair balanced easily on her shoulder. He felt a strange sense of awe. This woman’s strength is terrifying, he thought.
No wonder she could pick me up without breaking a sweat.