“You’re afraid of me too.”
The tone was icy, certain, and calm.
Lu Zhiyao was on one knee. The smile that usually graced his gentle face was gone, replaced for the first time by a trace of what could be called… irritation.
Li Ruoshui gave no reply for a long time. He couldn’t see her expression; he didn’t know what she was doing.
Lu Zhiyao let out a long sigh, stripped off his blood-soaked outer robe, and tossed it aside.
Underneath the soft outer robe was a close-fitting white outfit with red patterns. A black waistband cinched his torso, and the sharp-cut arrow sleeves were as incisive as the man himself.
“You’re always like this.”
Always so unpredictable, throwing him off balance. Even after killing so many people just moments ago, he felt no joy whatsoever now.
As he spoke, Lu Zhiyao lowered his head to wipe the blood from his hands, his face hidden in shadow, devoid of any smile.
He felt very annoyed. He should just kill her.
If she were dead, these strange feelings wouldn’t exist.
Killing her would be a release.
He had to kill her before she grew disgusted and fearful of him.
Lu Zhiyao wiped his right hand clean. His pale fingertips touched her neck, stroking the pulse point there with a hint of something like attachment. Then, slowly, they tightened, giving her no chance for excuses.
“I don’t want to hear you speak anymore. You’ll only lie to me.”
His fingertips were cold, as always. Even stained with so much warm blood, he hadn’t warmed up.
【Warning! Warning! Host’s life is in immediate danger! Please respond immediately, Host!】
【If Host dies, the romance strategy cannot be initiated and Host will be stranded in this world!】
The system was usually silent, but now suddenly started beeping so loudly it made Li Ruoshui’s head ache. She was sure now, this lunatic really does want to kill me.
Lu Zhiyao’s emotional shifts were strange. Going from cooperating with her to catch ghosts, or old men, to this situation of being strangled was somewhat unexpected. Yet, somehow, it also seemed to fall within her expectations. With Lu Zhiyao, nothing he did would be strange, including killing her.
The hand on her neck slowly tightened. Li Ruoshui tilted her head back, feeling a suffocating pressure she’d never known before. Her throat ached unbearably; her pulse was being squeezed, and it seemed even her blood was flowing slower.
Choking, she grabbed his wrist and forced out a question with great effort. “You… why… Do you like… killing…”
It was mostly air and it was hard to make out the words she said. Lu Zhiyao understood.
He had been determined not to listen to another word from her, yet he instinctively loosened his grip and gave her a sliver of a chance to breathe.
Lu Zhiyao’s fingertips rubbed against the soft side of her neck. He forcibly suppressed his irritation and curved his lips into a faint smile. “What are you trying to say now? Another bet? I think I’m getting tired of that now.”
Seizing the chance to breathe, Li Ruoshui gasped for air, ignoring the throbbing pain in her neck, and repeated in a hoarse voice, “I wasn’t thinking of making another bet. I just want to know why you like killing people.”
Lu Zhiyao smiled slightly. He swept his thumb under her chin and pressed it up, forcing her to look up at him. “Naturally, because it’s enjoyable. Why are you happy when you tease a cat? That’s why I’m happy when I kill.”
As if remembering something, Lu Zhiyao tilted his head. A clear, shallow smile appeared on his lips, looking clean and serene, just like the moonlight behind him. “Are you going to say it to me too? Lay down the butcher’s knife and become a Buddha on the spot’?”
The clear, shallow smile suddenly widened, twisting somewhat, like sunlight fractured by a shadow.
As if his own thought was too absurdly amusing, Lu Zhiyao couldn’t suppress a low laugh, laughing so hard that the hair falling over his chest trembled slightly.
“No.”
Li Ruoshui’s voice was hoarse, and she coughed a few times intermittently. Watching him laugh, she felt no fear. Her moist eyes looked at him calmly. “The more you put in, the more you get back. Killing is just the moment you swing your sword. The joy you get from it is just from that moment-” This chapter was copied from g.com without permission.
“The joys you can find in the world aren’t as simple as killing. Don’t you want to know the joys other people have?”
Lu Zhiyao stopped laughing, withdrew his hand, and said nothing more. This statement was far too familiar to him.
Confined in a courtyard since childhood, he had wanted to break free. After finally getting out, he realized the world outside was just as filthy and just as meaningless as that courtyard.
He had heard plenty of laughter and joy from others, but he couldn’t empathize. Until the first time he drove his sword into another person’s body. That warmth, that thrill, that sense of peace… it had shaken him deeply.
But now, this joy didn’t seem enough to fill the void inside him.
“…I want to know what makes you happy.”
Other people had nothing to do with him, and he never cared. But he wanted to know Li Ruoshui’s thoughts.
It was laughable. A moment ago, he clearly wanted to kill her, yet now his thoughts were still led astray by her words.
Li Ruoshui clenched the hem of her clothes. She swallowed and her voice came out somewhat unsteady. “You really want to know?”
Before Lu Zhiyao could nod, he felt Li Ruoshui lean forward. He thought she was going to resist, but instead, she wrapped her arms around his shoulders, her breath drawing nearer.
She had eaten quite a few almond pastries today and so her breath carried a faint milky scent. She was just a bit nervous. Leaning closer to him, he could feel that she was trembling.
Lu Zhiyao’s body stiffened, unmoving. His heart was pounding wildly. He felt an inkling as to what was about to happen, yet he truly couldn’t say it out loud.
Not until a cool breeze brushed his skin did he realize he had broken into a light sweat.
Nervousness, curiosity, heart palpitations, pleasure, and too many other indescribable emotions surfaced. He even held his breath subconsciously.
The sweet fragrance drew closer and closer to his face, till it was almost close enough to mingle with his own breath. He had never been this close to anyone before. He could almost feel the warmth radiating from her body.
Lu Zhiyao instinctively leaned back slightly. His slightly red lips, exposed to the moonlight, had a subtle sheen. His fan-like eyelashes trembled faintly. He looked as if he was awaiting punishment… or perhaps awaiting guidance.
A soft, cool touch landed at the corner of his mouth. She gave it a gentle peck, light as a dragonfly skimming water, then swiftly withdrew.
Li Ruoshui had been wrestling with herself. She’d never kissed anyone. After some internal debate, she’d chosen the corner of his mouth, giving it a little peck like tasting ice cream. Strangely enough, she felt like she tasted a hint of sweetness.
She clutched her clothes, her hands shaking slightly. Aside from nervousness, there was actually an inexplicable, indescribable excitement. She didn’t quite know what she was feeling at that moment.
She had only one simple goal in doing this: to make him separate her from the flock of lambs awaiting slaughter, to make him realize she was different.
She had originally wanted to take things slow and steady, but the situation just now was tense. She had to deploy her ‘ultimate move’. She had no other choice.
Lu Zhiyao now had his head tilted back slightly, his hands braced behind him, sitting there in a daze, as if offering himself up to be plucked like a flower.
“Are you happy?” Li Ruoshui leaned close to his ear to ask this, her voice hoarse, the tail end trembling.
The night wind gently swept around them for a moment, carrying her words to his ear. His ears tingling.
Lu Zhiyao’s lips twitched slightly, as if to say something. But in the next moment, Li Ruoshui crashed headfirst into his embrace.
He froze for a second, then reached to check her pulse, letting out a slight sigh of relief.
She fainted.
Lu Zhiyao couldn’t quite describe the feelings in his heart right now. It felt like raindrops falling on leaves, pattering softly, every leaf trembling at the rain’s arrival.
He sat on the ground, holding the unconscious Li Ruoshu carefully in his arms. He was lost in thought.
As for Li Ruoshui fainting so conveniently, of course, she wasn’t really unconscious. Her mental fortitude wasn’t that weak.
But she knew the best course of action now was a strategic retreat via falling unconscious. So, she activated the system’s ‘Memory Fragment’ reward and immediately sank into a dream. New chapters come out on novelping . com first.
No, rather, into Lu Zhiyao’s past. His real past. She soon found herself in a place she didn’t recognize.
“Mother, please allow me to take some men to search for Miss Li.”
Zheng Yanqing bowed with clasped hands, eyes lowered, not making the slightest eye contact with Lady Zheng.
The commotion caused by Li Ruoshui and the other was enough to alert the Zheng residence guards. When they saw Zheng Yanqing lying on the daybed, they were greatly alarmed and hurriedly took him to Lady Zheng.
He had no interest in listening to Lady Zheng’s worried words. He only wanted to take people to help Li Ruoshui.
Lady Zheng trimmed the candle wick, lighting the room brightly, afraid the dim light might hurt her son’s eyes. Only after the candles were properly lit did she send the attending maids out and turn to look at him.
Lady Zheng wore a proper, measured smile, leading him to the adjacent room like coaxing a child, as if she hadn’t heard what he just said. “It’s already the third watch. Sleep in the side room tonight. You must get up early tomorrow to study. The provincial examination isn’t far off.”
Zheng Yanqing kept his eyes downcast, not looking at her. His hands clenched into fists, his voice filled with deep helplessness. “Mother, did you hear what I just said?”
“I heard.” Lady Zheng patted his collar with motherly affection. “But she’s just here for the auspicious marriage. We can always find another. As long as you’re unharmed, that’s what matters. There’s no need for you to trouble yourself with these matters.”
She had always been like this.
Even though he had nearly lost his life just moments ago, his mother showed not an ounce of distress. Every word revolved around the provincial examination months away. His existence wasn’t for himself, but to bring glory to the family. Merely that.
“You said I shouldn’t trouble myself when I asked about the medicinal herb before. Then what am I allowed to trouble myself with? Keeping me confined in this courtyard all day—what in this family do I actually know?”
Zheng Yanqing pulled his hand free from Lady Zheng’s grasp and looked directly at her.
Seeing his displeased expression, Lady Zheng momentarily panicked. She had heard of many scholars who, due to poor spirits, couldn’t concentrate on their studies.
Although her son was naturally gifted, constant lack of focus was still a problem.
“Look at you, getting upset with your mother over such a small thing as an herb?” Lady Zheng went to close the window, talking as she did. “That herb is of no use to you, so it was placed in the hidden room in the study. Don’t fret. It’s not that we were hiding it from you. Whatever you want, Mother will get it for you. Just focus on your studies. No need to trouble yourself with such things.”
“The Zheng family may be wealthy, but we’ve only ever been merchants for generations. No one has ever passed the Imperial Examinations; we can’t even get past the Provincial level. Many have used this to mock us.”
“Now we have you. If you hadn’t suddenly fallen ill a few years ago, you’d probably be at the top of the provincial examination rankings by now.”
Lady Zheng looked at him with hopeful eyes. Though her gaze was gentle, it lacked a certain maternal tenderness. Instead, her eyes were filled with a sense of desire. Something akin to obsession.
“Your elder brother and sister handle the family business. You should just focus on becoming an official. Mother is doing all this for you… Yanqing!”
Zheng Yanqing had heard this since childhood and was long weary of it. Having learned the herb’s location, he didn’t want to waste any more time here.
If the family wouldn’t assign men to do as he asked, he would go himself.
Li Ruoshui was implicated because of him. He couldn’t let her come to harm on his account.
“Where are you going… Hurry, follow the Second Young Master!”
Lady Zheng’s originally gentle voice suddenly turned shrill. She waved her hands frantically, signaling the guards stationed outside the courtyard to follow him, terrified he might come to harm.
Zheng Yanqing was in poor health, a long-term patient who took medicine constantly. He clearly couldn’t outrun those well-trained guards and was intercepted before long.
Frowning, he stubbornly headed for the main gate.
The group marched in a procession to the main gate of the Zheng residence. Under his gaze, the servant hesitated but unlocked the door.
The vermilion lacquered gate swung open, revealing Lu Zhiyao’s figure. He stood bathed in the watery moonlight, with Li Ruoshui on his back, a smile on his lips.
“The Zheng residence doesn’t seem very safe so I intended to take her directly back to our inn. However, my sword is still in your room. May I trouble you to return it to me?”
TLN: Final chapter of the Christmas dump 😀 Hope y’all had a good one! Start of a new arc~