011 Absolutely No Backdoor Deals.
The foolish assassin was named Yu Chichi.
She was a genuine assassin.
Ruthless and merciless, she killed without batting an eye.
Unfortunately, she had been a chatterbox since childhood.
Until one day, her master told her: “You talk too much. Employers worry you’ll spill secrets. Learn to be concise. If you must, practice sentence shortening.”
Sentence shortening?
Yu Chichi had an epiphany.
But as an outstanding assassin, she pursued perfection in everything—even shortened sentences had to be sharp and potent.
Later, Yu Chichi successfully became the top female assassin in the martial world.
Legends described her as calm, restrained, and mysterious, her words profound and cryptic. She executed missions with lightning efficiency, eliminating targets unseen.
Then, she fell into Qi Guyuan’s hands.
At the House of Azure, Yu Chichi spent the entire night reading aloud from “Our Excellent Crown Prince.” This was nothing short of psychological torture, shattering the aloof, taciturn image she had painstakingly built over the years.
She broke down, completely and utterly.
As the saying goes, when an assassin loses control of her emotions, she becomes like a blade without an edge.
With a clatter, Yu Chichi’s dagger fell to the ground.
The top female assassin of the martial world was captured.
Though captured, Yu Chichi remained tight-lipped. Even knowing her employer was the current Virtuous King, she wouldn’t breathe a word—it was a matter of professional dignity.
She was an assassin with ethics.
That day, Qi Guyuan asked: “Who sent you?”
Yu Chichi gritted her teeth: “Unbendable Uncle!”
Even if you torture me relentlessly, I won’t yield to you, a vile, cunning, and narcissistic crown prince who wrote a trashy book about yourself.
“Unbendable Uncle?”
Qi Guyuan frowned, pondering the phrase, then suddenly understood: “You mean your employer is the uncle who refused to submit to me since childhood?”
As the crown prince, Qi Guyuan faced covert resentment but never lacked superficial flattery. Among the imperial family, only one uncle had always kept his distance…
Qi Guyuan had a revelation: “Understood. It’s the Virtuous King.”
Yu Chichi was stunned.
What just happened?
Was that what she meant?
How did he deduce that?
Thus, despite concrete evidence of her assassination attempt, considering she had effectively revealed her employer, Qi Guyuan ethically extracted her from the death row cell. Before releasing her, he said movedly: “It seems your conscience isn’t entirely lost.”
Yu Chichi, utterly bewildered by the turn of events: “How could this be?!”
From then on, the top female assassin was expelled from the assassin community for lacking professional ethics. After losing her job, Yu Chichi leveraged her skills in tracking and intelligence-gathering to write about bizarre tales on forums for extra income, occasionally slipping in rants to curse Qi Guyuan for ruining her career.
Until a few days ago, Yu Chichi learned her master had been turned into a puppet by the Virtuous King using the Soul Severing Art, and only the Soulslay Blade from the Demon Realm could save him. Though she had left her master’s tutelage long ago after the incident, she could never forget his teachings. Without hesitation, Yu Chichi ventured into the Demon Realm, where at the gate of Nameless City, she saw Nan Yao posting missing person notices.
And so, this concludes the magnificent and grand life experiences of this foolish female assassin.
Yu Chichi choked back tears: “To be so misunderstood at such a young age, forced to abandon everything, yet still stepping forward without hesitation for the sake of a friend. Growing toward the sun! This is my life.”
Nan Yao couldn’t understand: “Why are you reciting my missing person notice as your life story?”
Nan Yao, who had accidentally stumbled into this glorious tale, was currently in agony. Through this lesson, she deeply understood a life philosophy—don’t scroll through forums on your phone while eating.
Xie Diao held his sword and stared at Nan Yao: “Verbal abuse?”
Nan Yao quietly lowered her head a little.
Xie Diao: “Seriously ill?”
Nan Yao buried her head in her arms.
Xie Diao: “Ran away from home?”
Nan Yao hid her head under the table and prepared to sneak away while crouching, but Xie Diao grabbed her and pulled her back.
“See, don’t you think your character has become much richer after my promotion?” Nan Yao flailed like a chick while struggling, still stubbornly arguing, “Deeply affectionate, restrained yet great, with a little twist at the end, plus such a tragic ending—you’re the only man on the continent worthy of everyone’s heartache.”
At this moment, the only man on the continent worthy of heartache, Xie Diao, said: “I’m not buying it.”
“…” Understood.
Nan Yao sat up straight, piteously pulled out her spiritual pouch, and while noisily pouring out spirit stones, she muttered and grumbled incessantly: “It’s fine, I should be giving this. If Xie Diao gege wants it, you can take as much as you like. Even if I go hungry in the Demon Realm, it doesn’t matter. Even if I have no new clothes to wear, it doesn’t matter. As long as Xie Diao gege is happy, it’s fine…”
She practically recited one line for every spirit stone she took out, her words fragmented and dense, without repeating a single character.
“Stop.”
Finally, Xie Diao could bear it no longer.
He glanced at the spirit stones on the table, then at the pitiful Nan Yao, seeming to think of something: “Indeed, I can’t bear it.”
Nan Yao: “Hehe.”
“But—” Xie Diao suddenly changed his tone, “there’s still one more thing I need you to do.”
Half an incense stick’s time later, the townspeople gathered around the bulletin board:
【Missing Person Notice
Wife, you have been gone from home for a full month now. I forgive you for taking all the money from the house, forgive you for selling the heirlooms left by my parents, forgive you for secretly having an affair with Zhang San next door and running away with him. As long as you’re willing to come back, I’ll keep waiting right here. Please return home soon—there’s still a baby in swaddling clothes waiting to be fed.
If anyone sees a woman named Nan Yao, please tell her this for me: the child and I are waiting for her to come home.】
“Heavens, how can there be such a devoted man?”
“So touching! This Nan Yao is just too cruel!”
“Don’t let me see her—someone who would abandon her husband and child like that is truly heartbreaking.”
Nan Yao stood outside the crowd, lost in thought.
She made a request: “How about I just pay you instead?”
“Don’t be so formal,” Xie Diao said. “Taking money from Nan Yao meimei—I couldn’t bear it.”
Nan Yao choked up.
Xie Diao was in high spirits.
*
Recently, Demon-Guarding Mountain had been unsettled. In recent days, many townspeople who went up the mountain to mine ores and gather herbs never returned. Thick fog had risen on the mountain, and even cultivators with considerable cultivation found themselves unable to find their way out.
Rumors spread that a creature capable of bewitching human minds had appeared on the mountain. If one were entangled by such a Demonic Creature, they would lose all rationality and humanity, transforming into a monstrous being neither human nor ghost.
Yet despite this, crowds of people risked their lives daily to venture up the mountain.
The Demon Realm had dispatched guards to secure the entrance of Demon-Guarding Mountain, preventing ill-intentioned individuals from exploiting the chaos to cause trouble.
According to plan, the group would enter the mountain today.
Yu Chichi had joined their team, though she couldn’t possibly afford the “privilege of being Xie Diao’s attachment.” Qi Guyuan covered the cost for her, making Yu Chichi so moved that she briefly regretted her past actions—accepting a contract to assassinate him and slandering him on the forums.
It was only later that she learned Qi Guyuan’s true motive: he simply feared that one day, if Xie Diao or Nan Yao were displeased, they might kill him first, leaving no one to collect his corpse. Bringing Yu Chichi along meant at least having someone to cushion his fall if he died.
As the group prepared to enter the mountain, Nan Yao attracted countless stares.
Almost everyone halted in unison, their gazes firmly locked on her as if trying to bore holes through her.
Nan Yao grew anxious.
What was going on?
Had everyone seen the missing person notice and realized she was Nan Yao?
But she soon discovered the reason.
Yu Chichi came across a post on the forum—
【50,000 Spirit Stone bounty for information on the unidentified young woman in purple within Nameless City】
“Informants are urged to provide leads immediately. The imperial capital has ordered the extermination of her entire clan and the dismemberment of her body, to teach this brat the consequences of meddling in others’ affairs.”
After reading the post, Yu Chichi immediately shared it with Nan Yao: “This is bad. You’ve been put on a bounty.”
Nan Yao felt relieved: “Thank goodness. I thought everyone had recognized me from the missing person notice.”
“?” How could the former situation sound less severe?
At the entrance of Demon-Guarding Mountain, two Demon Realm envoys—one fat and one thin—stood sloppily, inspecting each person entering the mountain. They clearly showed impatience with their duties, roughly shoving people around.
“Seriously, this job doesn’t even offer any side benefits. No idea how we ended up with it.”
The surrounding citizens seethed silently, not daring to speak up.
As they grumbled, Qi Guyuan’s group approached the two.
The fat and thin envoys immediately fell silent, staring intently past the crowd at Nan Yao.
Nan Yao had a bad feeling.
She quickly lowered her head without making a sound, ignoring their gazes.
After a cursory inspection of Qi Guyuan and the other two, they were permitted to pass. Just as Nan Yao stepped forward, a hand suddenly blocked her path.
…Trouble.
The fat envoy beamed obsequiously, his face creasing into folds as he completely abandoned his earlier impatience. Bowing respectfully, he said: “Congratulations, young lady! As the 46th person to enter the mountain today, you’ve unexpectedly won our surprise gift—a direct ride on a Demon Realm Flying Beast to the inner Demon Realm, bypassing the need to trek through Demon-Guarding Mountain! Additionally, you gain the privilege of choosing your flying beast. Would you prefer the gentle and adorable Giant Woolly Bird, or the experienced and steady Moon Slicing Eagle?”
Envious glances gathered around them.
Even the most highly cultivated practitioners cannot fly over Demon-Guarding Mountain by sword, because the Demon Lord has set up a barrier above it that only Demon Realm Flying Beasts can safely pass through.
This young lady’s luck was truly remarkable—unlike them, who still had to risk crossing Demon-Guarding Mountain on foot.
The fortunate Nan Yao said, “I don’t want it.”
The fat man said, “You must.”
Nan Yao: …Damn it, she knew Uncle Ye Yin couldn’t resist giving her special treatment.
But she felt it wouldn’t do.
Demon-Guarding Mountain sounded fraught with dangers, so she had to stick close to Xie Diao. What if he went on a killing spree inside and ended up blowing up the mountain? Then the millions in Spirit Stones and gold she had spent would have been for nothing.
Nan Yao asked, “Then can I bring them along?”
The thin man shook his head. “The Demon Realm has specified that the flying beast in this congratulatory gift cannot carry men.”
Ye Yin: Don’t even think about puppy love.
Feeling Ye Yin’s fatherly affection, Nan Yao said, “No, I’m afraid of heights. I’ll walk.”
But as soon as she took a step, the fat man stopped her.
“Alright then. The Demon Realm has stated that if the lucky winner cannot accept this gift, it will be automatically exchanged for other items as compensation.”
With that, the fat man took out a box from his Spiritual pouch that was half a person’s height. Struggling to lift it, he wobbled as he handed it to Nan Yao, panting heavily, “D-don’t misunderstand, these are just some ordinary local products from our Demon Realm.”
Nan Yao peeked inside: Moon Holding Pearl, Evil Aversion Pill, thousand-year Wind Breaking Grass, ten-thousand-year Jade Serpent Detoxification Pill…
Ordinary?
Local products?
Who was it that said they wouldn’t give her special treatment?!
She accepted this weighty fatherly love and, under the envious gazes of the crowd, walked into Demon-Guarding Mountain.
Yu Chichi said enviously, “Your luck is so good.”
Nan Yao: “That’s certainly true.”
By the time Qi Guyuan and the others finished chatting and turned around, they suddenly realized that Xie Diao, who had been following behind, had disappeared at some point.
Dusk was approaching.
No one was allowed to enter Demon-Guarding Mountain after dusk. By now, almost everyone at the mountain entrance had dispersed, leaving only the fat and thin men casting spells to set up a sealing barrier.
“Heh heh, I swiped some treasures from that box. With so many items, there’s no way that silly girl would notice.”
“I heard from the demon general serving His Highness that the girl’s mother lives on Hopeless Mountain. Why don’t we take on that bounty…”
“What? You want that fifty-thousand Spirit Stone reward too?”
“No one will know anyway. Besides, it’s not like we’re doing the deed ourselves. What do I have to worry about?”
Before they could finish, they heard footsteps.
Someone was approaching in their direction. The steps were steady but carried an intimidating presence in the empty valley.
The fat man gripped his knife warily. “Who’s there?”
“It’s me.”
The newcomer spread his empty hands, as if to show he meant no harm. A smile on his face, he stopped before the two and spoke with slight deference, “My apologies for disturbing you two seniors.”
The fat man recognized him.
Xie Diao.
The one who had wreaked havoc in Nameless City yesterday—even the Demon Realm had heard of it.
Being addressed as “senior” left the fat man bewildered: “You…”
“I’ve been tasked with protecting her safety and have been away from the Demon Realm for days. Did anyone ask you to relay a message to me?” Xie Diao took out a gold ingot and pressed it into the thin man’s hand.
Protection?
A message?
The thin man suddenly understood: “Oh, so you’re also under His Highness’s orders, specially assigned to protect that young lady?”
“It’s a thankless task.” Xie Diao sighed, his expression troubled. “I really don’t know what makes His Highness value her so much.”
“Nothing but her privileged birth and being raised under the Demon Lord’s watch since childhood. People like us only get to serve tea and water in her presence. Ah well, we’re just doing our jobs—working hard all these years without gaining any real benefits.” The fat man couldn’t stop complaining once he started.
Xie Diao: “So she’s the Demon Lord’s person.”
“The way you say it—as if there’s any other ‘His Highness.’ Ah, the Lord treats her like his own daughter, she’s just fortunate… Wait, you—you’re not one of the Demon Lord’s men!” The thin man realized he’d been deceived.
“Just curious, no need to be so tense.” Xie Diao chuckled lightly, his tone casual.
Having obtained the answer he wanted, he tossed out these words and turned to leave. But halfway, as if remembering something, he pressed his palm to his temple and turned back. “Look at my memory, I forgot.”
Saying this, he reached out and took the gold ingot from the thin man’s palm. Just as he was about to withdraw his hand and leave, his movement paused slightly. The next second, his arm pierced through the thin man’s heart.
The fat man’s eyes widened, and he turned to flee, but an invisible force restrained him.
The intangible Spiritual Power compressed his body. His knees buckled, his limbs twisted into unnatural shapes, and he screamed in agony: “St-stop! I’ll tell you anything you want to know!”
Xie Diao crouched before him, wagging his index finger in front of his eyes with slight regret. “That won’t do.”
“I-I’ll give you money, as much as you want!”
“Oh.” Xie Diao seemed genuinely tempted. He pondered for a long moment before sighing. “What a pity, I don’t do business with you.”
“Your mouth isn’t tight.”
After speaking, he curled his finger and clenched his fist.
With a crack, the valley returned to silence.
Xie Diao turned and followed the direction of Nan Yao’s group using his Spiritual Power.
The Demon Lord’s daughter?
How interesting.
After rounding a bend, Xie Diao saw the group slumped against trees by the roadside. Nan Yao hung her head listlessly while Xiao Huang gestured wildly beside her, scolding her for being incompetent enough to lose track of a full-grown person.
Xie Diao stopped and watched from where he stood.
Nan Yao looked up and saw Xie Diao.
Their eyes met.
Then he watched as the young girl’s lips gradually curved upward, revealing a joyful expression. She spread her arms and scampered over like a fledgling swallow returning to its nest, bouncing eagerly toward him: “My gold is back!!”
Xie Diao sidestepped.
Nan Yao stumbled.
Nearly falling, Nan Yao felt somewhat embarrassed, her arms still outstretched awkwardly. She sneaked a glance at Xie Diao beside her, shuffled a few steps closer, and tried to bestow the hug upon him.
Xie Diao dodged again.
Nan Yao moved left, Xie Diao moved right. After nearly ten back-and-forths, Nan Yao chose to hug herself.
Stingy.
Just as she was grumbling, Xie Diao spoke: “Do you remember what you told me you came to Demon-Guarding Mountain for?”
Nan Yao: “…To find a marriage prospect?”
Xie Diao: “Then where is he?”
…Nan Yao was stumped.
After a moment of silence, she found an excuse: “These things depend on fate. Think about it—although I’m willing, I can’t just find someone whenever I want. Demon-Guarding Mountain has been dangerous lately. Maybe Duan Cuo didn’t even come today, right?”
As soon as the words were spoken, a voice came from above: “Who called me?”
Author’s note:
Xie Diao’s mindset has shifted: Something more enjoyable than making money is bullying soft girls.