“Of course there’s even juicier gossip! And it’s exactly the kind you like…”
“Then hurry up and tell me! Why do you always keep teasing?”
“Why must you cling to me today?” the Emperor grumbled.
The ministers below thought silently, “Fortunately it’s not me. Emperor, you’re on your own here!”
Yu Jinghong glanced nervously at his daughter, muttering: “My dear girl! You’re really daring—daring enough to spill the Emperor’s melon.”
Emperor An Yi’s face turned as black as coal.
“Looks like I’ll need my ‘get-out-of-death’ token… I knew it wouldn’t last long, but I didn’t expect this so soon!”
“Host, you’d better prepare yourself.”
“Tongzi, if you keep teasing, I’ll get angry!”
“Don’t worry. I’ll say it now. Actually, the Emperor wears a hat wherever he goes.”
“Of course he wears a hat in court.”
The other ministers murmured among themselves:
“Yes, it’s normal for the Emperor to wear a hat.”
“Look! The Emperor’s wearing one even now.”
“Good, good. My daughter didn’t say anything blasphemous—finally, I can swallow my anger.”
“Is there a problem with me wearing a hat?” the Emperor asked, frowning.
“Host, you misunderstood. Gua Gua isn’t talking about that kind of hat.”
“Oh? Then what kind of hat?”
“Let me tell you directly, but don’t blush when you hear it.”
“I’ve gone through nine reincarnations. Nothing embarrasses me anymore!”
“The Emperor’s hat is green—oh, not just one! There’s an entire green pasture growing on his head!”
“Are you serious? He’s the ruler of the nation. Who dares put such a hat on him?”
The ministers were horrified:
“Is this something we’re supposed to hear?”
“A royal secret… will the Emperor kill us all for hearing it?”
Yu Jinghong’s clothes clung to his back. He nearly fell over.
The ministers quickly insisted: “Your Majesty, we heard nothing.”
One shrewd minister protested: “Ah! My ears hurt; I didn’t hear anything!”
“Should I call a royal physician?” another suggested.
“Yes! My ears hurt too! Please summon the court doctor!”
“Gua Gua’s gossip is always top quality. And Gua Gua never lies!”
Emperor An Yi’s face darkened further.
“This I must hear! Tell me all the details.”
“The infamous Consort Li had an affair with her attendant, Wang Tianyou. Even during bathing, only Wang Tianyou served her. They even shared the same bath!”
“Wait… he’s a eunuch! How can that be?”
“Host, you misunderstand! He was castrated, yes, but the procedure was incomplete. Technically, he was a half-eunuch!”
“But Consort Li is high-ranking. Why would she risk an affair with a half-eunuch?”
“She and Wang Tianyou were childhood sweethearts. Had she not entered the palace, they could have married and lived happily ever after.”
“Even so, once she entered the palace, she had to follow the rules. How could she dare cheat on the Emperor?”
“Though Consort Li received the Emperor’s favor initially, the harem is vast. Her childhood sweetheart Wang Tianyou bribed palace staff to reach her side, and soon they indulged in nightly pleasures together.”
“This Wang Tianyou is audacious! Doesn’t he fear discovery and implicating his family?”
“People like him are reckless for love. But their fate is doomed.”
“Why?”
“Wang Tianyou is not fully a man. If Consort Li tires of him, he will have no recourse.”
“True, he’s also quite pitiable when you think about it.”
“Host, you’re being naive. Once Wang Tianyou took the risk, he abandoned everything for pleasure without considering others. Should you pity him?”
“I see… I’ll have to be ruthless in the future too.”
Meanwhile, as Yu Hua and the system feasted on the gossip, Emperor An Yi quietly gave an order to Li Shun.
Li Shun understood immediately. Though he wanted to continue eavesdropping, the Emperor’s command was absolute.
When Li Shun arrived at Consort Li’s chambers, several maids were outside.
“What are you doing here? Neglecting your duties?”
The maids, caught gossiping, fell to their knees: “Spare us, Li Gonggong! Consort Li is bathing; Wang Gonggong serves her.”
“Shameless! You, as her personal maids, allow others to handle her bath? Useless! Out of the way.”
One maid cried: “Li Gonggong, it’s not our fault! Since Wang Gonggong arrived, he personally attended to her bath and sent us away. We must obey the Consort’s orders.”
Li Shun marched in: “Bold Consort Li! You dare disrupt the harem!”
Suddenly, Wang Tianyou’s composure faltered.
“Li Gonggong! How dare you! Misunderstand me not—I’m bathing!” Consort Li protested.
“Of course, I’m here to send you on your way,” Li Shun said coldly.
“No… the Emperor loves me! This must be a mistake!”
“See the Emperor? Not in this lifetime!” Li Shun gestured, and several eunuchs forced them into the bath, drowning them alive.