“……Song-hu, what are you doing there?”
Jo Yong-gi stared blankly through the open driver's-side window.
The sight of a 186-centimeter-tall man crouching down and smiling at a stray cat was something else.
“P-pss, pss pss pss.”
Now he was even making noises like that.
Manager Jo Yong-gi's brain came to a halt.
It wasn't that Park Song-hu disliked animals.
But he didn't particularly like them, either.
No matter how many stray cats he'd seen, he'd never once given them a glance…… and now he was doing this.
“……Song-hu?”
Yong-gi called to him, but there was no response.
Song-hu was completely absorbed in the cat.
“Song-hu!”
“Eek!”
What kind of sound effect was that?
Only then did Song-hu stand up, patting the knees of his pants.
“Oh, uh, you're here alrea…….”
His voice trailed off, and he shut his mouth.
“You're here, then.”
“……?”
What was with that way of speaking?
“Song-hu, are you feeling okay?”
“Yeah.”
Park Song-hu had spent his time shut away at home alone while he was lying low, so this was the first time in a while that even Yong-gi, his manager, had seen him.
……Had something happened in the meantime?
‘Then again.’
He'd been lying low for a little over a year.
Even Park Song-hu, of all people, could be nervous about his first shoot after so long away.
“Get in, Song-hu. Your salon appointment's at ten, and we should give ourselves plenty of time.”
Park Song-hu nodded and opened the front passenger door.
“……The back seat, Song-hu.”
“Oh.”
“Ha ha, I can see how you'd get mixed up. It's been ages since you rode in this car.”
A moment later, Yong-gi sneaked a look at the back seat in the rearview mirror.
Song-hu was gazing out the window.
‘Wow. That profile really is…….’
The morning sunlight rested on the bridge of his nose. His profile was a work of art.
He hadn't had plastic surgery. How could nature produce a nose shaped like that……?
“You're still damn handsome, Song-hu.”
“Yeah.”
“Oh…… You're not telling me to shut up for once?”
Normally, any compliment about his looks earned an automatic “Shut up.”
Yong-gi glanced in the rearview mirror twice in surprise, then started the car.
‘He seems a little kinder, too.’
Well…… now that Yong-gi thought about it, calling him kind just because he hadn't said “Shut up” was a bit of a stretch.
A short while later, the car arrived at a salon in Cheongdam-dong.
Park Song-hu had been going there since his debut.
“Oh my, Song-hu! How long has it been?”
The salon director came out from the back, their steps almost theatrical.
“……Yeah. It's been a while.”
He gave a little nod.
As soon as he sat down, the director ran their fingers through his hair.
“Hmm, has the texture changed a little? It feels softer.”
“Ah, well.”
“Yes?”
“……I took care of it while I was off.”
The director nodded.
“Oh, did you? You must have taken good care of it. Your hair's in much better condition.”
His hair styling continued.
While an assistant stylist curled the hair at his temples, the director approached Jo Yong-gi and whispered to him.
“Song-hu's grown up. He's become a real gem. He must have spent a lot of time thinking on his own.”
Yong-gi agreed with her.
The director began dabbing beneath Song-hu's eyes.
“……I think all that private heartache made him mature. Make sure you look after him, Yong-gi.”
“……I will.”
Just then, his phone rang in his pocket.
[CEO Baek]
Jo Yong-gi hurried out of the salon and answered.
“Yes, sir.”
-Is Song-hu doing all right? Everything going according to plan? Ha, that rude bastard still hasn't called me once, and it's the first day back on his schedule. Not once!
The head of the agency was still fuming when Yong-gi spoke.
“Sir, the thing is…… Song-hu's changed a bit.”
-What?
Yong-gi told him what had happened that day.
He even repeated what the salon director had just said.
-……Really?
Another stretch of silence.
-Looks like Song-hu's finally become a decent human being…….
“It does…….”
-Hey, you're his manager. Should you really be agreeing with me about that?
“…….”
***
At that moment, the real Park Song-hu was leaning back against his hospital bed, staring into space.
‘Maybe I shouldn't have done this…….’
Now that the day had actually come, he was worried.
He was wondering if he'd been reckless when…….
Bzzzz—
His phone vibrated.
He turned on the screen and found a long message beneath CEO Baek's name.
It went on so long he had to scroll to see the end.
“……What is this?”
Baek wrote about how hard Song-hu had worked, how his personality was admittedly awful but Baek believed he'd reflected a great deal on his actions (for the record, when the conduct scandal broke, CEO Baek had immediately cursed him out and said he'd known this would happen), how Song-hu was a butterfly who could fly even higher, and, finally, how Baek would support him to the very end.
‘I feel sick. Why's he acting like this all of a sudden?’
CEO Baek would never send a text like that out of nowhere. Something was definitely going on.
“That bastard…… What the hell has he been doing?”
***
JTBS, the <Our Hospital> studio.
“Today in particular, I want everyone to mind the boundaries.”
The producer impressed it on the cast.
“As you all know, today's guest is Park Song-hu.”
On the hospital-room set, the regular cast members were sitting on their respective beds.
“Park Song-hu…… He does have a cynical personality.”
“He won't take a joke, will he?”
“Then how on earth are we supposed to keep things going?”
The cast was at a loss.
“Still, we'll get ratings, right?”
“Well, it is Park Song-hu's comeback appearance, so we can count on a certain amount.”
“I saw him in person once, and I couldn't speak for several seconds.”
“And his face is so small…….”
One testimony after another came from people who'd seen Park Song-hu in the flesh.
“If he had a good personality to go with that face, he'd be incredible…….”
“God must have been so focused on sculpting his face that he forgot about his personality.”
They were entertainers, after all, and the jokes kept coming even now.
As laughter drifted around the room, the producer sighed.
“It's fine now, but we'll be in trouble if you say things like that when Park Song-hu gets here.”
The producer hadn't expected the episode to be particularly funny from the outset.
How could it be, with Park Song-hu as the guest?
Even so, he could be booked as the sole guest because ratings were guaranteed.
That was the attention Park Song-hu drew.
“So we can tease him about being aloof?”
“Don't push that too far, either. It'll be a problem if the mood suddenly turns awkward.”
“True. When Park Song-hu gets upset, his expression stays sour for the entire show.”
“Well, that's just his personality.”
The producer clapped their hands to get everyone's attention.
“I'll say it one last time. Keep today's shoot a little tamer than usual, and don't mention the conduct scandal at all. Especially you, Jeon Jae-min. You ask those mischievous questions all the time.”
“Yes, yes.”
***
“Song-hu!!”
“Song-hu, over here!”
“Have a good time!!”
When I arrived at the broadcasting station, fans were gathered outside.
I gulped at the unfamiliar sight, and the manager went ahead to clear a path for me.
“Hurry inside, Song-hu.”
As I passed through the fans, someone stepped forward.
The fan held a paper bag in both hands.
“Song-hu, please take this! I made it myself!”
A present.
For me.
No, for Park Song-hu.
“Uh, thank you…….”
I took it, but my hand was shaking, and the bag shook with it.
Something rattled inside.
‘What if it's breakable? Oh, wait, did I just speak politely? Should I speak casually? How am I supposed to talk to fans? What does my brother say to them?’
Meanwhile, another fan held out a letter.
I had no idea what I was doing. I just accepted everything they offered, kept repeating my thanks, and bowed over and over.
“…….”
“…….”
The fans' expressions were growing strange.
Had I done something wrong?
Then one fan's eyes filled with tears as the fan shouted encouragement.
Soon I heard someone shout that they loved me, too.
Other fans were tearing up as well.
‘What's gotten into everyone?’
My heart pounded.
I sent the manager a silent look pleading for rescue, but—huh?
He was smiling with satisfaction.
So I hadn't made a mistake?
“……Thank you. I'll be back.”
With the cheers bursting out behind me at my back, I finally darted into the broadcasting station.
Once we reached the hallway, the manager nodded and said,
“Give those to me, Song-hu. I'll hold the presents for you.”
“…….”
Even as I walked through the station, I felt all sorts of eyes on me.
Staff members, other performers' managers, coordinators…….
They didn't seem to be looking at me very favorably.
‘Do they think he fell from grace in a conduct scandal and is already making a comeback?’
If that was it, it was unfair.
I hadn't done anything!
Click—
When I opened the dressing-room door, a hospital gown for the show was hanging on a rack.
The manager said he'd wait outside, and the door closed.
As soon as I was alone, my knees went weak.
“Haaaah…….”
I clutched my chest.
You'd think I would have calmed down at least a little by now, but my heart was still pounding like mad.
What on earth was happening to me?
I changed into the hospital gown and stood before the mirror.
Even with the makeup on, I could see myself trembling.
My lips were probably blue by now…….
Meanwhile, the details on the gown were needlessly meticulous.
The hospital logo was embroidered on the cuff, and the ties at the back had to be fastened just like a real hospital gown.
I had to give the broadcasting station's props team credit for their craftsmanship.
I took out the script.
The very first line.
What I was supposed to say when I entered the set.
My answer to <Our Hospital>'s official question.
-What illness brings you here?
And my answer was…….
-Prince syndrome.
The line seemed written with Park Song-hu's public persona in mind.
He did have something of that image.
‘See? It's easy.’
I closed the script.
Prince syndrome.
Honestly, I didn't even need to memorize that.
Knock, knock—
“Song-hu, it's time for you to go in.”
“!”
My throat went bone dry.
I tried to swallow, but there was no saliva.
I left the dressing room.
The corridor was long.
Wait, had it always been this long?
It hadn't seemed so long on the way in.
‘Phew. Calm down. Today is the first and last time.’
I reached the door to the set.
A staff member was speaking into an earpiece, and I could hear voices murmuring on the other side of the door.
[Please enter]
The prompter flashed.
The staff member opened the door.
I took a step forward.
Rattle—
In an instant, a spacious hospital-room set spread out before me.
Brilliant white lights stabbed at my eyes.
Six hospital beds.
Sitting on them were people I'd only ever seen on TV.
“Wow, we've got a new patient in our room today!”
“Who is it? Who is it? Gasp!”
“He's so handsome!”
Cheers and applause.
The lead host waved his hand.
“Hey, hey, hey! Long time no see!”
“It's been a while for you, but this is our first time seeing this patient. Why are you saying that?”
“There's a reason. There's a reason.”
Laughter filled the studio.
“Wow, but he really is handsome…….”
“His face is no bigger than my palm.”
“What could have brought someone so handsome to our hospital?”
There it was.
The question had come.
“What illness brings you here?”
Now all I had to do was say the line I'd memorized…….
‘……What was it?’
I was so nervous my mind went blank.
It was literally a blank white expanse.
I'd known it just moments ago.
I'd been repeating it over and over.
The silence was building.
Celebrities I'd only ever seen on TV were staring straight at me, and the cameras had opened their blood-red eyes and were glaring at me, too!
……Remember, Park Song-min!
Park Song-hu's illness.
The illness Park Song-hu had.
What was it?
At that moment, an image of Park Song-hu in the hospital room flashed through my mind.
“Anger management disorder……?”
Chapter 2
“Go on a variety show in my place tomorrow, will you?”
“A-are you out of your mind?!”
The words flew out of my mouth on instinct.
My voice must have been louder than I thought, because Park Song-hu frowned.
‘Eek!’
He had the exact same face as me, but when he scowled, he was scary as hell!
“A-anyway, I absolutely can't do that.”
“Why?”
“There are so, so many reasons I don't know where to start!”
I'm the kind of person who runs out of oxygen just from standing in front of people.
And he wanted me to stand in a television studio? With countless cameras and countless people watching?
I wasn't joking. I might actually faint.
“You said you were grateful a minute ago. You sure had nothing to say while you were gobbling up my money.”
“Th-that was c-consolation money you gave me to keep me shut in my room!”
Disbelief spread across Park Song-hu's face.
“What the hell are you talking about? Why would it be consolation money?”
“……?”
It wasn't?
I'd always taken it to mean, ‘Keep your mouth shut and stay holed up in your room.’
“You really thought that?”
“…….”
Park Song-hu seemed about to say something, then closed his mouth.
“Forget it. Just do as I tell you.”
“Y-you can do it yourself! You look completely fine, so why should I go in your place?”
“Why, you—!”
“!”
It was only a threatening sound, but I involuntarily took a step back.
Park Song-hu was sitting on the bed, well away from me.
“Shh. Keep it down. What if someone outside hears you?”
……Right. My very existence was confidential.
I gulped.
If anyone found out, it would be a disaster.
With his index finger against his lips, Park Song-hu lowered his voice a notch and went on.
“And if I die while my image is still wrecked by that conduct scandal, people will remember me as trash forever.”
“…….”
Ah.
I hadn't thought of that.
If he left this world with his image as it was, that would forever be the final word on Park Song-hu as a person.
So…… my brother wanted to go on the show badly enough to ask me to stand in for him, because he didn't want that to happen.
“You only have to do it once. This will be my first and last appearance on the show.”
“……Are you sure?”
“Yeah.”
“Ah, but what does your manager think about all this?”
“My manager doesn't know, obviously.”
……What?
“If he found out, he'd run straight to the agency head, and all hell would break loose. The head would never allow it, either.”
“Th-then you're telling me to fool your manager, too?”
“Yeah.”
“Is he a new manager, by any chance?”
“No? He's been my manager for five years.”
“……! Then how am I supposed to fool him?!”
Park Song-hu shrugged.
“You'll have to act the part. Pretend you're me.”
……Hey!
***
Standing in for my twin brother.
What was this, some over-the-top soap opera?
‘Even a soap opera would get torn apart for being unbelievable if it used a plot like this.’
The moment I got home, I collapsed in the entryway.
Without even taking off my shoes, I leaned against the wall and stared blankly at the ceiling.
“Mew.”
Louie padded over and sat beside me.
It was as if the cat were asking how my first trip outside in ages had gone…….
“Louie.”
I hugged Louie tight.
Louie twisted and squirmed in protest, but this time I couldn't let go.
“I think I have to go on a variety show tomorrow.”
“Mew?”
“And pretend to be a top star while I'm at it.”
Louie's head tilted to one side.
You find it ridiculous, too, don't you?
So do I.
Someone who'd spent all his time shut in his room now had to stand in front of cameras and pretend to be a top star overnight.
“Phew…….”
I took off my shoes and went into my room.
Louie followed right behind me.
I sprawled out spread-eagled on the bed, took out my phone, then put it down again.
‘A terminal diagnosis.’
I blinked up at the fluorescent light.
To be honest, I still wasn't sad.
It just…… felt strange.
‘Ah, this isn't the time for that!’
I shook my head from side to side.
There was something I needed to do right away.
I took out the script I'd been given in the hospital room.
<Our Hospital>
A famous, long-running variety show that was a flagship program for JTBS.
Its premise was that patients, each with a fictional illness, gathered in a hospital room, with a new guest appearing as a new patient every week.
It was a variety show I personally liked, too…….
‘I'm actually going to appear on it? And tomorrow, of all days?’
It didn't feel real at all.
I turned a page of the script.
“……Is that all?”
For a moment, I couldn't believe my eyes.
There was hardly any dialogue.
It only laid out the broad sequence: guest enters, illness is revealed, conversation, mini-game. There were no specific lines or reactions at all.
In other words, almost everything was improvised!
“…….”
I already felt like I was going to foam at the mouth.
If there had been lines, at least I could have memorized them.
‘Improvisation.’
Someone who couldn't even speak properly in front of people had to improvise!
‘I have to tell him I can't do it, even if it's at the last minute!’
I snatched up my phone.
I found Park Song-hu in my contacts.
But my finger stopped dead above the call button.
I remembered the look on Park Song-hu's face when he'd gone, ‘Why, you—!’ in the hospital room.
“…….”
I quietly put the phone down.
Then I recalled what Park Song-hu had added when he gave me the script.
-Just because it's a reality show, you don't need to be nervous. The regular cast will play along with you.
-…….
-Hey.
-…….
-Are you listening?
-…….
-Did you faint standing up or something?
After that, with my mind half gone, I'd barely managed to nod.
“Louie, the manager's coming to pick me up at nine tomorrow morning…….”
“Meooow.”
I picked up the note with my brother's address and front-door code on it.
A luxury apartment in Gangnam.
He'd told me to go there in advance, at dawn, and wait.
I'd have to wear his clothes, stay in his home, and greet his manager while pretending to be him.
‘If I need to be there by nine in the morning, when on earth do I have to get up?’
I usually went to sleep around five in the morning.
In other words, nine a.m. was the middle of the night by my standards.
For now, I'd set an alarm for seven and go to bed early…….
Oh, right.
I didn't have any chapters in reserve.
If I didn't write today, I'd have nothing to post tomorrow.
Tomorrow's schedule started in the morning.
‘I made a promise to my readers…….’
I hurried over to the computer.
The cursor blinked in an empty window.
I placed my fingers on the keyboard.
“…….”
Not a single word came out.
Usually, I could squeeze something out one way or another.
Once I'd written it, I could always revise it.
But today, really, truly, for real, all that happened was the cursor blinking.
Then someone started projecting images straight into my brain.
Cameras rolling, lights coming on, people staring at me!
Me stammering, my face turning red, freezing up without saying a word!
And then the manager realizing it and saying, “You're not Park Song-hu, are you?”
“…….”
When I came to my senses, I had written something after all.
[Park Song-hu, you crazy bastard]
I couldn't go on like this.
In the end, I opened the announcements board.
=====
[Notice of Hiatus]
Hello, this is Mini Song, the author.
Due to personal circumstances, I will not be posting an installment tomorrow.
I'm sorry.
=====
‘Those personal circumstances are a little larger in scale than usual…….’
Who would pay any attention to a hiatus notice from an author with subscribers numbering only in the hundreds?
Still, I was sorry.
Surely there were people waiting with their necks stretched out for the next installment of my novel…….
‘……There are, right? At least one?’
I turned off the monitor and leaned back in my chair.
I looked up at the ceiling.
At some point Louie had climbed onto the desk and was gazing blankly at the cat's own face reflected in the dark monitor.
Bzzzz—
An unexpected call.
[Park Song-hu]
The moment I saw the name on the screen, I straightened my back without thinking.
He wasn't about to ask another favor, was he?
“H-hello.”
-Are you asleep?
“……No, I'm not.”
As if I could sleep.
-I told you this in the hospital room, but don't force yourself to do things just because you think you have to imitate me.
“……What?”
-You don't know me.
“…….”
……That stung a little.
But it was true.
We were twins, but we'd lived like strangers since we were six.
What sort of expressions he usually made, how he spoke, what gestures he used.
All I knew was the Park Song-hu I'd seen on TV, just like anyone else.
-First, don't try to talk too much. Not with the manager or at the salon. I'm usually pretty quiet anyway.
That was a huge relief.
I tended to get awkward in front of people. If I kept my mouth shut, it might at least be less noticeable.
-And don't forget to speak casually to the manager.
“…….”
He'd emphasized that in the hospital room, too.
For me, it was like being told to speak casually to someone I'd never met. ……Still, if I didn't want to get caught, I'd have to do it.
“Ah, okay.”
-That. Fix that, too.
“……What do you mean?”
-Just say ‘Yeah’ and leave it at that, or don't answer at all.
“…….”
-Hey.
“…….”
-Don't tell me you're keeping quiet because I just told you not to answer.
“……Yes!”
-Good job.
……What was with the sudden praise?
-I'm hanging up, then.
Beep, beep, beep—
The call ended.
***
Jo Yong-gi had become Park Song-hu's road manager five years ago.
At the time, he'd been the youngest manager at the agency, having joined only six months earlier, and he'd been saddled with an assignment all his seniors avoided.
The reason they avoided it was simple.
……Park Song-hu had a fucking awful personality!
The senior managers had offered their advice openly.
-Did you know? No manager's lasted more than a year under Park Song-hu. How long do you think our Yong-gi will last?
-Yong-gi, you've got courage, right?
-They say once you've worked as Park Song-hu's manager, you can sing about how beautiful the world is.
In fact, all three of his previous managers had quit before completing a year.
But Jo Yong-gi was still here, five years later.
If someone asked why, he honestly couldn't give a neat explanation himself.
It was just that…… every now and then.
Very occasionally.
On the rarest of occasions.
There was something.
On a film set where the work had run late, Jo Yong-gi had been waiting alone in the car for Park Song-hu.
It was past two in the morning when a can of coffee was set down with a plunk through the open window.
-Drink this.
That was all he said.
When Yong-gi turned his head, Park Song-hu had already climbed into the back seat and closed his eyes.
Yong-gi was about to thank him, but Park Song-hu spoke first, showing only the side of his shoulder.
-Aren't we leaving?
Before he knew it, five years had passed, and he was the sole survivor.
His seniors had even asked him seriously once whether he might have Stockholm syndrome.
‘I hope his return goes well, anyway.’
Park Song-hu's image had hit rock bottom after the conduct scandal.
This appearance on <Our Hospital> wouldn't turn his image around in an instant, but perhaps he could gradually recover…….
‘……Could he?’
Honestly, if you judged by the video alone, Park Song-hu looked like a complete lunatic. But Jo Yong-gi saw it differently.
He'd been by his side for five years. He knew something must have happened for Song-hu to blow up that badly.
But Park Song-hu wouldn't talk about the incident, so he couldn't ask.
The navigation system announced that he'd arrived.
Eight fifty.
As always, he was ten minutes early.
‘Huh?’
For a moment, he couldn't believe his eyes.
Song-hu was already outside, waiting.
He almost always came out right on time.
He was even late occasionally, but this was the first time he'd come out ahead of time and waited like that.
But now wasn't the time to be surprised about that.
Because…….
“……Song-hu, what are you doing there?”