Years later, the thousand-and-first time I recalled my wedding night, it still seemed utterly absurd—Chef God Diary.
An autumn night, the cold wind blowing.
The elders in the village all said this winter would likely be harsh, probably the coldest in the past decade.
Outside, the autumn wind rattled the persimmon trees in the yard, and occasional howls and dog barks carried through the air.
Plop!
The electric light went out, plunging the room into darkness. Moonlight streamed in through the wooden window slits, spilling across the room.
Cheng Baozhu snuggled into the quilt, feeling unusually itchy from the straw mat beneath her.
At this quiet hour, even the smallest sound in the closed room felt amplified.
Xu Chuan, exhausted from the day, figured that although it was their wedding night, Cheng Baozhu probably didn’t want to do anything inappropriate, and he himself wasn’t in the mood either.
He just wanted a peaceful sleep, yet it proved so difficult.
“What’s wrong, is there a bug on the bed?” Xu Chuan finally turned over and asked.
Cheng Baozhu frowned, clutching the quilt: “I feel uncomfortable, this straw mat irritates me.”
Xu Chuan was baffled. “You don’t sleep on straw mats at home?”
This mat was newly made, warm and soft, sun-dried even, how could it be irritating? Besides, in their surrounding villages, every household used straw mats; even in the county, many families did. Why could Cheng Baozhu not tolerate it?
Some families were poor, sleeping directly on straw mats with only a sheet over it.
Cheng Baozhu thought back at her home, she did sleep on straw, but she wasn’t used to this, so she shook her head.
“I guess you could lay another quilt over it,” she said, “that should make it fine.”
Xu Chuan chuckled, “Our home has plenty of quilts, but if you fold it under for long, it’ll harden and become a mattress.”
He leaned in a little: “How about this—you fold half the quilt under you, the other half over, it works the same.”
Before getting into bed, Cheng Baozhu insisted on retrieving the quilt she’d brought from her family. Xu Chuan had no objection. So now, each of them had a separate quilt, avoiding contact.
Cheng Baozhu imagined it for a moment and shook her head again: “No, I can’t sleep like that.” Being restricted while sleeping was too uncomfortable.
Xu Chuan: …
“Fine, then we’ll have to share one quilt.”
There were only two quilts at home, and since he had barely received any family bedding during the division, he had to lay one quilt beneath them.
Cheng Baozhu hesitated, then said, “Don’t hog the quilt while sleeping.”
Xu Chuan exhaled: “I sleep well, you’ll see!” He removed his own quilt cover, laid it over the straw mat, muttering, “With this, we’ll probably be too warm and wake up sweating.”
Even in November, it wasn’t that cold, and he worried she might kick the quilt off.
Soon, they shared the same quilt.
Cheng Baozhu felt slightly uncomfortable, and so did Xu Chuan. He noticed how Cheng Baozhu smelled pleasantly of warmth and fragrance, making him unconsciously want to get closer.
Xu Chuan shook himself, clearing his mind to sleep.
Cheng Baozhu didn’t notice; coincidentally, she was waiting for Xu Chuan to fall asleep too. But in the process, her movements—turning, stretching her legs, moving her hands kept him from sleeping.
The last dog barked ten minutes ago. From experience, Xu Chuan knew it was late, at least near midnight.
The night air grew colder, the wind from every crevice carrying the chill of late night.
After Cheng Baozhu adjusted the quilt again, Xu Chuan could no longer tolerate it.
He opened his eyes, propped himself on his side, and, hidden in the darkness, forced back his drowsiness: “I say, my dear, you’re not just my wife—you’re my ancestor! Tell me, what else do you need me to do? I’ll do it all in one go if it lets me sleep in peace!”
Cheng Baozhu pouted: “I want your hand; I’m scared in a new environment!”
She was exhausted too, her eyelids drooping.
Xu Chuan scratched his hair, utterly helpless. A few seconds later, he lay back heavily and offered his hand: “You should’ve said so earlier. Don’t worry, as long as you let me sleep, even giving up my life is fine.”
His hand naturally held hers, and Cheng Baozhu finally stopped moving and fell asleep.
The only one fully awake was the system. Of course, it didn’t need human sleep.
Once the couple’s breathing became steady, the system started working.
Late at night, a mysterious force flowed from Cheng Baozhu through their points of contact, slowly reaching Xu Chuan.
He felt as if he were dreaming, unable to explain the scene.
Rubbing his eyes and pinching his legs, the pain and waking awareness confirmed it wasn’t a dream.
[Ding, Chef God System at your service.]
The system’s voice was mechanical and cold, designed to frighten.
It had learned from Cheng Baozhu that it was better to manipulate the guest rather than be manipulated.
Xu Chuan jumped: “What are you?”
System: [……Please see the user manual.]
A screen appeared in front of him with an introduction and user guide.
No matter what Xu Chuan asked, it offered no reply.
Hesitant, he reached out to touch the screen.
After several minutes, he said, “I don’t recognize some of these characters.”
System: [……]
Xu Chuan wanted to tear his hair out.
The system switched to basic teaching mode, throwing Xu Chuan into a classroom.
Having served many previous hosts, it was not unprepared for a host who couldn’t read.
Once inside, a smart teaching assistant appeared, and the system adjusted the objectives accordingly.
This wasn’t a strict 3,000-character literacy test.
Time in space was frozen. Xu Chuan felt pain, fatigue, and the familiar frustration of school again.
Just as his nerves were about to snap, the system would place him in a recovery chamber, simulating the comfort of a fetal state in amniotic fluid, replenishing his energy.
Then he’d be thrown back into the classroom.
Xu Chuan lost all sense of time but knew exactly how many cycles he’d endured.
He realized this was not a dream but a real Chef God space.
“What am I supposed to do here?”
Tortured by the smart assistant, Xu Chuan slumped in his chair, questioning the system.
The mechanical voice explained the courses and tasks of the Chef God space.
In truth, the system was cautious.
As a legal system, it could not coerce a host to do anything against their will—just as it could not force Cheng Baozhu to learn cooking or trap her consciousness.
Sending Xu Chuan instead skirted the system’s rules; only their close relationship made it permissible.
If the main system discovered it, trouble would follow.
Xu Chuan slowly realized how unlucky he was.
He never wanted to learn cooking.
The system, sensing his thoughts, immediately warned: [Points are awarded for learning progress, redeemable for rewards; refusal will result in electric shocks.]
Xu Chuan: …
“What’s an electric shock?”
Next moment—
Zzzzzz— Xu Chuan trembled all over.
In the room, Cheng Baozhu slept soundly.
She was carefree and remained unaffected by the temporal shift.
After Xu Chuan finally mastered the 3,000 characters, the system released him.
The system’s protection ensured the host returned to the state they entered.
Xu Chuan re-entered reality while still in sleep.
Outside, the first light of dawn broke the darkness over the small village, and life resumed.
Villagers cooked, gathered wild vegetables, and tended to chores.
Roosters and birds replaced alarm clocks, announcing the new day.
Yet at the village’s edge, Cheng Baozhu and Xu Chuan still slept soundly.
Sunlight streamed through cracks, leaving their sleep undisturbed.
At another old house, Jiang Yulan stood in the yard, wondering whether to call her youngest son.
Li Cuifen secretly sneered; they had already eaten, yet the lazy couple likely hadn’t risen.
A man in his twenties, Xu Chuan was still treated as a child by his mother-in-law. Thanks to the recent property division, she had spared him from future household drudgery.
The village’s famously lazy couple, how would they manage in the future?
Li Cuifen worried but secretly relished the scenario.
Jiang Yulan, experienced after decades of life, knew the eldest daughter-in-law’s feelings.
Passing by, she hummed softly, remembering her sons, careful not to quarrel with Li Cuifen.
Li Cuifen, unwilling to be outdone, hushed herself and called her son Hutou home for breakfast.
Jiang Yulan fumed.
Now everyone knew her son and daughter-in-law were still in bed.
Hutou, Xu He’s eldest, was six, an age prone to quarrels between dogs and chickens. Three years prior, Li Cuifen gave birth to a second son, Xiao Gu.
Li Cuifen had a difficult delivery, hospitalized for two weeks. Doctors said future pregnancies would be difficult, and Xiao Gu’s health was not ideal.
Li Cuifen meticulously cared for her youngest, whose health gradually improved.
Jiang Yulan also cherished her youngest, resulting in years of subtle tension until the recent property division.
Li Cuifen wondered how much her sons would get from the Xu family’s assets with Xu Chuan around.
Jiang Yulan, not biased, saw the eldest had suffered between mother-in-law and wife, so she agreed to the division.
The process took two to three months and left Xu Chuan with very few assets, far less than Cheng Baozhu.
Jiang Yulan had anticipated this and acted quickly to arrange the match with Cheng Baozhu, whose family—Old Phoenix was wealthy.
Given Xu Chuan’s prior misfortunes with other girls, this seemed the perfect choice.
Both were similar; neither could complain, and neither would likely become a resentful couple.