Diana rubbed the side of her head where the heavy envelope had struck, her fingers digging into her scalp with a mix of irritation and sheer disbelief.
“Would you mind explaining why you’re assaulting me?”
Ellie folded her arms, her expression a mix of terrifying glee and righteous indignation.
She pointed dramatically at the envelope.
“Open it.”
Diana looked at the messy envelope.
Then she looked at Ellie.
Then she looked back down at the paper.
“…Why?”
“Just open it.”
The flat, unyielding tone alone told Diana that this wasn’t an argument she was going to win.
This nuisance wasn’t going away.
With a heavy, world-weary sigh, she opens the envelope, and pulled out a thick stack of legal documents.
From her spot on the sofa, Garin leaned forward slightly, her quiet eyes tracking the rustle of the paper with a mixture of curiosity and dread.
Diana’s eyes flicked over the first page.
Then the second.
Then, her brain stalling, she returned to the first page.
A small, tense crease formed between her eyebrows.
“What?”
She flipped another page, her scanning speed increasing.
“What?”
Another page rattled.
“…What?”
Ellie kept her arms firmly crossed, watching the slow-motion train wreck with immense satisfaction.
“Keep reading.”
Diana’s eyes moved lower, chasing the neat, typed ink until they hit a specific line.
Then they stopped.
The agency became profoundly, unnervingly quiet.
Very slowly, Diana raised her head, her face completely blank.
“Why does this say I’m Garin’s stepmother?”
Garin blinked, her small shoulders tensing.
“My…
what?”
“EXACTLY!”
Diana broke her silence, slapping the thick stack of papers onto the wooden desk hard enough to rattle the pens.
“I agreed to become her legal guardian!”
Ellie didn’t skip a beat, immediately jabbing a finger toward the offending documents.
“Then why does it say stepmother?”
“How the hell should I know!?”
Garin, looking like an innocent bystander who had accidentally wandered onto a battlefield, cautiously looked between the two older women.
“A-Am I adopted?”
Neither woman answered.
The silence stretched, heavy and tense.
Garin shrank back into the cushions, her voice dropping to a tiny, hesitant whisper.
“…Was that a bad question?”
Diana’s hand shot out, grabbing the handle of the old telephone.
“No.”
She aggressively punched a digit.
“No.”
Another digit.
“That’s actually a very good question.”
The final digit clicked down.
“And I know exactly who is going to answer it.”
The line buzzed, ringing only once before a cheerful, frustratingly relaxed voice answered on the other end.
“Hello, Diana.”
“JUN PYO.”
Diana roared the name with enough raw venom that the agency’s front windows practically rattled in their frames.
Ellie, completely unbothered, calmly sat herself down on the couch.
This was turning out to be excellent entertainment. Get faster updates on g.com.
On the other end of the line, the old man remained unfazed.
“Good afternoon to you too.”
“WHY AM I GARIN’S STEPMOTHER!?”
A short pause.
“…What?”
“THE PAPERWORK!” Diana hissed, her grip tightening until the plastic of the receiver groaned.
“What paperwork?”
“THE PAPERWORK YOU SENT TO MY AGENCY!”
A much longer, heavier pause followed.
The silence over the line was deafening.
Finally, Jun Pyo spoke.
“…Oh.”
Diana’s left eye twitched violently.
Beside her, Ellie quickly stuffed a hand over her mouth to stifle a snort.
“…Oh?” Diana repeated, her voice dripping with lethal promise.
“That explains it,” the old man mumbled.
“EXPLAINS WHAT?”
Jun Pyo cleared his throat, sounding entirely too casual for someone currently sitting in Diana’s crosshairs.
“Well…
I may have made a mistake.”
“MAY HAVE?”
“To be fair,” Jun Pyo argued, his voice taking on a reminiscent tone, “the young lady handling the registration was very attractive.”
The agency froze.
Diana froze mid-breath.
Ellie froze.
Even Garin seemed to turn to stone.
“You were flirting,” Diana said, her voice dropping to a flat, dangerous register.
“Possibly.”
“During legal registration paperwork?”
“Possibly.”
“JUN PYO!”
“In my defense,” the old man grumbled, completely shameless, “she was flirting back.”
“YOU MADE ME A STEPMOTHER!”
“Technically.”
“THERE IS NO TECHNICALLY!”
That was the breaking point.
Ellie collapsed sideways onto the sofa, howling with laughter and clutching her stomach.
Jun Pyo continued over the line, entirely unbothered, as if they were discussing a minor banking error.
“The good news is it can be corrected.”
“The good news?” Diana’s voice was dangerously quiet.
“Yes.”
“The good news?”
“Yes.”
“The GOOD NEWS?”
“Dia—”
*Click.*
Diana slammed the receiver back onto its cradle with a violent force that made the entire desk shake.
The line went dead.
The agency fell completely silent again, save for Ellie’s muffled wheezing.
A thick, angry vein pulsed clearly on Diana’s forehead.
“That old fool…”
Ellie was still gasping for air, her face red from laughter.
She pointed a mocking finger at her friend.
Diana glared at her.
“Don’t.”
Ellie failed to comply immediately.
“Diana became a mom.”
“Ellie.”
“Ellie.”
“A very angry single mom.”
“Ellie.”
Ellie’s grin widened, evil and bright.
“So when should Garin start calling you Mom?”
More silence.
Garin, completely lost in the absurd semantics of human legal errors, innocently looked up at Diana.
“…Should I?”
The vein on Diana’s forehead grew visually larger, throbbing with pure stress.
Ellie, entirely lacking a survival instinct, made the mistake of continuing.
“Diana Mommy.”
Diana stood up, her chair screeching against the floorboards.
Ellie’s eyes widened slightly.
“Uh oh.”
“Diana Mother of the Year,” Ellie muttered, quickly shuffling backward.
“Ellie.”
“Diana, Protector of Humanity, Slayer of Demons and—”
Diana lunged across the space, her hand clamping down firmly on Ellie’s shoulder like a steel vice.
A brief, chaotic struggle ensued.
A moment later, the heavy front door of the agency burst open, and Ellie stumbled backward out onto the rainy pavement.
“THIS IS ABUSE!” Ellie yelled, adjusting her jacket in the drizzle.
“It isn’t,” Diana said flatly, leaning against the doorframe.
“IT IS!”
“It isn’t.”
Diana turned her head back inside, pointing a sharp finger at Garin.
The girl immediately straightened up on the sofa, ironclad discipline kicking in.
“Y-Yes?”
Diana flicked her finger back toward the drenched, complaining Ellie.
“Take her shopping.”
Ellie blinked through the rain.
“What?”
“You were supposed to help her buy clothes.”
“I thought you were coming.”
“I’m not.”
“Diana!”
“I’m busy,” the huntress snapped.
“Doing what?”
Diana’s cold, dark gaze drifted slowly toward the telephone sitting on her desk.
“Deciding whether Jun Pyo gets shot once or twice.”
Ellie rolled her eyes.
“That’s not important!”
“It is to me.”
Diana began swinging the heavy wooden door shut.
“Oh, and Ellie?”
“What?”
“Don’t buy the entire mall.”
“No promises.”
*Slam.*
The door closed, the lock clicking into place with a definitive thud.
Inside, Diana leaned her back against the solid wood, closed her eyes, and let out a long, exhausted sigh.
Outside.
Ellie stood on the pavement, folding her arms in annoyance.
Garin stood beside her, looking small under her oversized raincoat, her eyes wide as she stared up at the older woman.
“…W-What is shopping like?”
Ellie’s eyes immediately lost their irritation, sparking with a sudden, predatory excitement.
A massive, dangerous smile spread across her face.
She reached down, grabbing Garin’s small, cold hand in a tight grip.
“Oh, sweetie.” Ellie’s voice was dripping with enthusiasm.
“Aunt Ellie is about to educate you.”
And together, they spun around and headed down the street toward the commercial district.