The sound of running water in the bathroom stopped. After finishing her shower, Qin Shui was blow-drying her hair. Qin Sheng stood up from the sofa and went back to his own bedroom first.
At exactly ten o’clock, he heard the sound of the door across the hall closing.
Every time Qin Shui finished showering, she cleaned the bathroom thoroughly. There was not a single strand of hair to be found, and the floor was scraped dry with a water squeegee. Every time she finished bathing, Qin Sheng felt as if every corner of the bathroom had been given a deep cleaning.
He took a quick shower himself. After washing up, he passed by Qin Shui’s bedroom while toweling his hair dry and leaned in slightly to listen.
Complete silence, as if no one lived inside.
Qin Sheng felt that Qin Shui’s sense of presence was very much like having a well-behaved small animal at home. She did not need to speak or make a sound, but she could not be absent.
He returned to his bedroom, opened the window to the small terrace, and smoked. After only two puffs, he hallucinated Yan Jiabao’s voice in his ear, telling him that he needed to quit smoking.
“……” Thinking of Qin Shui, Qin Sheng put the cigarette away. But his addiction was too strong to quit immediately. At the very least, he needed to smoke less at home, so she would not have to breathe in secondhand smoke.
At midnight, Qin Sheng tossed and turned in bed. It felt as if several wheels of fire were burning one after another in his chest. Exhausted, he let his legs drop and sat on the edge of the bed, looking thoughtfully toward the wooden bedroom door.
Qin Shui’s door was always simply closed at night, never locked. Ever since Qin Sheng bought the apartment, the bedroom keys had been left inserted in the locks and never removed. She chose to respect the homeowner’s habits, and she trusted Qin Sheng’s character, so she did not touch them.
In the end, he still betrayed Qin Shui’s trust, like a shameless flower thief, and pushed open the door to her bedroom.
The room was pitch-dark. The window was open, the air conditioner was off, and Qin Shui was covered with a thin summer quilt. Qin Sheng left the door ajar behind him. By the faint light squeezing in from outside the window, he saw that the cup of milk on the bedside table had been drunk down by a quarter.
Perhaps because the temperature in Qin Shui’s room was higher, Qin Sheng’s back and cheeks began to feel hot. He squatted beside the bed and touched her forehead. Everything was normal. She was not sweating.
Qin Shui was calm both inside and out. When a person truly settled into stillness, the surrounding temperature also became comfortable. Yan Jiabao’s long-term hotel room had the air conditioner running twenty-four hours a day, yet the moment Qin Sheng went near her, he was driven irritable by the noise in his heart, no different from standing under the scorching sun of midsummer.
Qin Sheng had been tormented by Yan Jiabao’s matter for more than half a month. He had always wanted to be honest with Qin Shui, but he did not feel he had the standing to bring it up.
He did not want Qin Shui to think that the circle of people around him was full of impractical figures like Yan Jiabao. He was also embarrassed to admit that she was his ex-girlfriend. Even though he and Qin Shui had not officially started dating, and even though Yan Jiabao was an interesting woman, Qin Sheng still had misgivings about both of these things.
Love is absolutely a two-way hallucinatory capsule.
Qin Sheng firmly believed that Qin Shui was the kind of extremely sought-after good girl; if he failed to grasp her, he would lose her immediately. However, he didn’t know that Qin Shui considered herself incomplete. She had successfully convinced herself that if Qin Sheng grew tired of her because of this, it would be reasonable.
The coating of this pill was sweet, but the powder inside was hallucinogenic, making one unable to stop belittling oneself, licking one’s wounds, and pitying oneself in the shadow of one’s reflection.
Qin Shui fell asleep. Qin Sheng sat by the bed watching her. Out of habit, he reached for his cigarettes, then suddenly realized and gave himself a silent slap.
He didn’t know how long he stared before Qin Sheng finally made up his mind, leaned down toward Qin Shui’s cheek, and landed a kiss at the corner of her lips.
And then she woke up.
Startled, he recoiled. The back of his head hit the wardrobe hard. In the darkness, seeing a figure beside her bed, Qin Shui was frightened. She jolted up, clutching the blanket tightly.
“It’s me! It’s me!” Qin Sheng reached to tap on her bedside touch lamp, rubbing the back of his head painfully, embarrassed as he said, “Sorry… Qin Shui.”
Recognizing him, Qin Shui relaxed. Still dazed, she rubbed her eyes and asked in sign language, “What happened?”
He explained, “I didn’t come here on purpose. You looked down earlier tonight. I was afraid you were sick.”
Qin Shui calmed down and shook her head. She took tissues from the bedside table and wiped the cold sweat from Qin Sheng’s face. “Don’t sit on the floor.”
Ever since he promised to learn sign language, Qin Sheng could now understand what she conveyed. He shifted awkwardly to sit at her feet. Confirming she was unaware of that stolen kiss, he took the air-conditioning remote and turned it on, then closed the window.
“It’s too hot. Don’t worry about wasting electricity.”
Qin Shui scooted inward, silently lay back down as usual without speaking. Qin Sheng sat beside her for a moment, watching her lie on her side with eyes closed, wrapped tightly in the thin blanket.
The night was quiet, hearts calm. Because he no longer wanted to endure torment, he confessed.
He told her everything about Yan Jiabao, their past acquaintanceship, the beginning and end of their relationship, including her recent unplanned pregnancy and coming to him for help. Qin Sheng confessed without reservation.
He spoke for a long time. When Qin Shui recognized the phrase “unexpected pregnancy,” her eyelashes trembled cautiously.
“Her boyfriend can’t be reached. I plan to go to the bar to find him this weekend.” Qin Sheng lay beside her with a hint of guilt, clumsily signing, “I’m sorry. It’s all messy stuff. I didn’t intend to tell you.”
Qin Shui smiled faintly and signed, “I saw you two at noon today.”
… Nothing in this world exists as a secret known only to heaven and earth. Everything leaves a trace. Qin Sheng felt immense relief that he confessed in time. If not, not only would Yan Jiabao and Chen Zhihong’s relationship collapse, but he and Qin Shui would be over too.
He felt ashamed. Qin Shui took out her phone and typed: “It’s not your child, right?”
“……”
Qin Sheng wished he could swear with his life. He sat up in agitation and asked, “I go to and get off work on time, weekends I’m always with you, and I’m busy every day at work—you know that!”
“I was just asking.” She typed again: “You said she’s going to have surgery. Will her family accompany her?”
Still recovering from that sudden accusation, Qin Sheng was not pleased. Qin Shui held his wrist and sincerely made a gesture of apology. Qin Sheng softened immediately, shaking his head. “Her immediate family is gone. This weekend I’ll drag her boyfriend to the hospital and make him accompany her.”
Qin Shui asked, “What if he refuses?”
“I’ll beat him up.”
“Violence won’t help. Even if you beat him to death, the harm your girlfriend suffered can’t be erased.”
He pulled the blanket from her and covered his own chest. After reading her text, he snatched the phone away and deleted the word “girlfriend.”
“Ex-girlfriend. A brief, clean relationship.”
Qin Sheng knew Qin Shui was teasing him, but he still grumbled. She quickly retrieved the phone and typed: “I’ll make some soup tomorrow and bring it to her. Surgery is hard on the body before and after.”
“No need.” He said, “I’ll bring her lunch at noon. It’s too hot. You don’t need to run back and forth.”
Qin Shui lowered her gaze without knowing what to think. Qin Sheng lay beside her, faintly smelling the fragrance in her hair. Sleepiness washed over him like waves, slowly closing his eyes.
After some time, he was poked awake. Instinctively, he reached for the phone and saw Qin Shui’s text: “How about letting her stay here temporarily? I can go to a friend’s place.”
Without thinking, Qin Sheng erased the entire sentence, turned off the light, and pulled Qin Shui into his arms.
“Don’t even think about moving out.” He buried his face in her neck, kissing, whispering by her ear, “I already found her a place to live. You expect me to kick out my current girlfriend and let my ex take her place?”
Qin Shui’s body stiffened, extremely ticklish, trying to dodge. Qin Sheng’s strength was terrifyingly secure; holding her down cost no effort.
Within a minute, she lost the first kiss she had kept for twenty-two years.
She genuinely thought hotel stay was inconvenient. Back home, her aunt once had a miscarriage and needed curettage, medication, and bed rest afterward. Qin Sheng’s factory meal plan alone wasn’t enough for Yan Jiabao’s recovery.
Qin Sheng kissed her face everywhere, moving lower and lower. Qin Shui couldn’t breathe under his hold. She patted his back to stop him, quickly signing, “You work tomorrow. Go to sleep. At noon I’ll come find you. Don’t order takeout.”
He calmed down, resting his head on her chest, hot as a volcano. Qin Sheng nodded obediently, then got up, fetched a pillow and a thin blanket, and turned off the air-conditioner.
The next morning, Qin Sheng finished washing up while Qin Shui was still half asleep.
It was still early. The soy milk and steamed buns she prepared were in the fridge. Qin Sheng heated them himself and didn’t wake her.
By the time he finished eating, Qin Shui finally washed up groggily. They went downstairs together. Qin Sheng drove her to the supermarket entrance and couldn’t resist kissing her several times.
Qin Shui bought pork ribs, Sanhuang chicken, and vegetables, then went home to simmer chicken soup. Separately, she made braised ribs and stir-fried mustard greens for Yan Jiabao, packed them into Qin Sheng’s old lunchboxes, and took a bus to the Beidaihe Car Repair Center.
Because he knew she would come, Qin Sheng couldn’t sit still even before noon. After checking each car, he sent customers out just to see whether she had arrived.
He didn’t know soup took long to cook. At 11:40, seeing no sign of her and no reply to his messages, he became anxious, afraid that something happened on the way. Ignoring the receptionist’s attempt to stop him, he grabbed his car key and headed out to look for her.
At that moment, Qin Shui entered with her backpack, running directly into him. Qin Sheng let out a long breath of relief and hurried to take the bag from her and lead her to his work area.
“So heavy?” He turned the fan toward her, wiping her sweat with his sleeve. “Yan Jiabao has never eaten something this thoughtful in her life. You don’t need to make it for her again. Too much trouble.”
Hearing that, Qin Shui was slightly displeased. She signed to urge him back to work and wait until noon to bring it upstairs.
The chicken soup had a portion for Qin Sheng too. He didn’t go to the break room today; instead, carrying his lunchbox, he took Qin Shui with him to the hotel. They ran into coworkers along the way. Qin Shui read Qin Sheng’s lips—he was introducing her as his girlfriend.
She couldn’t hear the compliments, but Qin Sheng looked proud and delighted. Qin Shui smiled along politely, nodding and bowing gently.
It was her first time entering the hotel. Yan Jiabao lived in a third-floor king room. Qin Sheng knocked. After a long pause, footsteps sounded. No one opened. He knocked again. Only then did Yan Jiabao respond dully from inside, “Coming.”
Even backlit, Qin Shui could tell at first glance that she had cried.
Qin Sheng didn’t notice. He pulled Qin Shui inside by the arm, shut the door with his elbow, and handed over the soup and food.
“Qin Shui made this for you. Eat it while it’s hot.”
Yan Jiabao held the insulated bag, then looked at Qin Shui standing beside him and openly asked, “So this is that Qin Shui from your pinned chat?”
Qin Sheng sat down, annoyed. “Are you eating or not?”
“I’ll eat, I’ll eat!”
Yan Jiabao gestured cheerfully, “Sis is starving. Thank you for the meal!”
Qin Shui sat with them. Qin Sheng scooped rice for her. She signed, asking him, “Did you tell her about me?”
Yan Jiabao couldn’t understand and, being blunt, interrupted, “What is it? You two are using secret codes?”
“Shut up.” Qin Sheng snapped slightly, “Qin Shui can’t hear. Watch what you say.”
Yan Jiabao fell silent.
She hadn’t eaten proper home-cooked food for years. Like Qin Sheng, she usually just grabbed quick meals. She never cooked, always ate barbecue or hotpot with girlfriends, and rarely touched a stove.
Qin Shui was younger than both of them, yet clearly someone who took good care of herself, fair, clean, neat. Yan Jiabao drank the chicken soup. The insulation was excellent, still steaming hot, no smell, perfectly seasoned.
Qin Sheng’s cartoon lunchbox held teriyaki chicken with rice, and Qin Shui specially prepared vegetables and ribs for her too. An ache surged in Yan Jiabao’s chest. Thinking about how this little girl was deaf, she lowered her head and shoveled food anxiously, holding back tears.
Too many emotions clogged her throat, making it hard to swallow.
Qin Shui sat opposite Qin Sheng, drinking only soup.
She envied Qin Sheng’s dullness. Maybe precisely because he was so slow, Yan Jiabao felt safe. Sitting there, Qin Shui could feel Yan Jiabao’s emotions weaving quietly into a net around the table, blocking Qin Sheng out completely, leaving only the two of them within it.
The room wasn’t large. All the belongings Yan Jiabao had previously kept in her place in the urban village had been moved over, piled up messily.
“Is it good?” Qin Shui typed to ask.
Yan Jiabao nodded. “It’s good. You made all of this? That must’ve been a lot of trouble, especially in this heat.”
Qin Shui: “The repair shop’s lunch isn’t nutritious.”
Qin Sheng happened to interject, “Did you call Chen Zhihong?”
Holding that Cinnamoroll lunchbox in one hand, Qin Sheng looked a bit comical to Yan Jiabao, but she couldn’t bring herself to laugh. “I did. He didn’t answer. He even blocked me on WeChat.”
“Go to the hospital on Saturday. I’ll bring him there.”
That sentence seemed to come at the wrong moment. Yan Jiabao suddenly put down her bowl and chopsticks. Choking up as her emotions collapsed, she said, “Can you stop worrying about him? Isn’t the important thing right now my surgery? If you drag him there and I get too emotional and die on the operating table, what then?”
Yan Jiabao’s sudden movement startled Qin Shui into a small shudder. Although she couldn’t hear clearly, Yan Jiabao’s voice was very loud. Qin Sheng’s temper flared up as well, and he snapped back, “Who told you to get on an operating table? If you’d paid even the tiniest bit of attention, would this have happened? You’re fine with lying there half-dead and suffering, while that guy continues having a good time outside, is that it?”
“……”
Yan Jiabao’s eyes were red. She really didn’t want to cry in front of Qin Shui, but tears drowned out all reason, and she couldn’t care about anything anymore. Qin Shui’s palms were soaked with sweat. She hurriedly pulled tissues from her bag, stood up, and went behind Yan Jiabao, gently stroking her shoulder.
Fortunately, Qin Sheng had already finished eating. He pulled Qin Shui back sharply. “Don’t comfort her. She’s acting like a lunatic.”
Qin Shui reached up and covered his mouth, helplessly signing a string of gestures.
She asked whether, if Yan Jiabao were replaced with her, Qin Sheng would also think she was crying because she was mentally unstable.
“……” Qin Sheng fell silent.
“That’s not what I meant. I’m just angry at how spineless she’s being.”
For Qin Shui’s sake, he awkwardly reached out and patted Yan Jiabao, explaining patiently, “Isn’t it enough that I’ll go vent your anger for you? Why are you losing it like this? What’s there to get so worked up about? You get through the surgery safely, recover properly, and it’ll be over. Is there any point in pushing yourself to this state?”
Yan Jiabao cried as she blew her nose. “You make it sound so easy. Can it really just pass like that? A child will die because of me!”
“……”
At the end of the day, this so-called “child about to be killed” had also been brought to life by her herself. Qin Sheng resigned himself to silence, completely extinguishing his anger, and gestured to Qin Shui as if saying “you handle it.”
The situation was difficult. Qin Shui had heard about Yan Jiabao’s family circumstances last night. She’d had a hard life, and everyone had their own struggles. Sitting beside Qin Sheng, Qin Shui lowered her head and typed out a long message on her phone.
“Sister Jiabao, if you’re afraid of the surgery and, after careful thought, still want to keep the child, then you need to go back to work and save money to rent a proper place. Living here isn’t a long-term solution. If you want to end this mistake, I’ll go to the hospital with you on Saturday. Leave the rest to Qin Sheng. After the surgery, Qin Sheng and I will take good care of you, but you have to promise that you’ll never contact that man again and will live your own life.”
She had never experienced such a setback herself, but compared to Qin Sheng, Qin Shui felt she could better understand Yan Jiabao’s pain.
Yan Jiabao held the phone and read for a long time. She stopped crying, then cried even harder. Qin Sheng took the phone from Qin Shui and read it. That anger of lamenting her misfortune and resenting her lack of self-respect quietly faded away.
“Someone younger than you is saying she’ll take care of you. What are you still crying for?” he said softly to comfort Yan Jiabao. “Make your decision. We’ll help you with what comes next. There’s nothing to be afraid of.”
Qin Sheng wrapped an arm around Qin Shui from behind. Yan Jiabao gradually stopped crying, tossed the used tissues onto the floor, boldly lifted the bowl, and drank the chicken soup in one go, then leaned forward and hugged her too.
Caught between the two of them, Qin Shui chose to hold Yan Jiabao, gently patting her back to comfort her.
Yan Jiabao’s eyeliner was smudged from crying, black streaks rubbed all over her eyelids and cheeks. She took a deep breath, wiped away the remaining tears, and said to Qin Sheng, “I’ll have the surgery on Saturday. I decided the moment I saw the two lines. There’s no way I’m keeping it.”
Qin Sheng nodded calmly. “We’ll come pick you up then.”
Before leaving, Qin Sheng washed all the lunch containers clean in the hotel room. Qin Shui had nothing to do that afternoon, so she went back to the repair shop with him.
Most of the workers were taking their noon break in the lounge. When Qin Shui passed by, she peeked in through the window. It was spacious inside, with lockers, tea facilities, and bunk beds. The air-conditioning was on, and everyone could lie down for a bit at noon.
Qin Sheng had bought fruit in advance. After washing his hands, he peeled a pear for her. Qin Shui sat on the sofa and told him, “Don’t argue with her. Her emotions are already unstable.”
He brushed it off. “You don’t understand. I’ve told Yan Jiabao so many times what she should and shouldn’t do. She never listens.”
“No matter what she shouldn’t have done, it’s already done,” she signed. “Since you’ve decided to help her, look forward. Don’t bring up the past anymore.”
Afraid he might not understand, Qin Shui added by typing, “An abortion is definitely a huge blow. She’s cried a lot lately. Sister Jiabao’s original family situation is bad. I think it’s not that she doesn’t want her own child. She was just confused. She doesn’t know what love is, and she’s never met someone who truly cherished her.”
Qin Sheng sliced the pear and placed it into a lunchbox, handing it to Qin Shui. He leaned over to read the phone and couldn’t help but shake his head with a rueful smile.
“Qin Shui, you’re being very kind to her.”
“You’re very good to her too.”
“I scold her not because I despise her, but because I think she’s ruining herself.” Qin Sheng looked at Qin Shui, his gaze gentle. “Just like you, I’ve found many excuses for her, but I just can’t stand watching her destroy herself like that.”
Qin Shui nodded, took out a box of yogurt with a brand-new flavor from her bag, and handed it to him, along with a small box of strawberries.
She silently mouthed the words to Qin Sheng, “I know. You’re a good person.”
Qin Sheng grinned happily, his eyes curving as he smiled, looking even more handsome than usual.
Leaning close to Qin Shui’s ear, he said each word slowly, “You’re good too. The two of us were made for each other.”