For as long as he could remember, Aseren could only see shades of gray.
He didn’t know what the sky was supposed to look like. He’d heard people describe it before. Blue, they called it. Sometimes clear blue, sometimes dark blue. He understood what the word meant, but he had no idea what it actually looked like. The same went for trees, grass, flowers, and clothes. To Aseren, they were all just different shades of gray.
He never really thought much about it. When someone had never seen color, it was difficult to miss it.
Aseren crouched beside a pile of garbage, rummaging through it with his bare hands. Most of what he found was useless, but sometimes he’d get lucky. A piece of metal could be sold. An intact container could be cleaned and reused. If he was really lucky, he’d find something he could eat.
He’d been living like this ever since the orphanage let him go.
He was seven when they gave him a few belongings and sent him out.
Aseren learned pretty quickly that surviving wasn’t complicated. It was just difficult. Find food, find somewhere to sleep, and try not to get robbed. If he found something worth selling, he had to make sure the person buying it didn’t cheat him.
He wasn’t particularly good at much else. He wasn’t strong, and he definitely wasn’t brave. If someone bigger than him raised their voice, his first instinct was usually to back away.
Numbers, though, he was decent at.
He could count money, compare prices, and tell when someone was trying to cheat him. He called it street math.
For someone like him, that was enough.
He pushed aside another piece of trash and felt his fingers catch on something solid. Pulling it free, he found a dented metal container.
He shook it.
Nothing.
He opened it anyway.
Empty.
Aseren sighed and tossed it aside before reaching back into the pile.
Maybe the next one would be different.
Aseren found nothing that day.
That meant he wouldn’t eat.
His stomach hurt a little, but he was used to it. One day without food wasn’t a big deal. He’d just have to eat tomorrow instead.
He looked at the empty container in his hands.
There wasn’t anything inside. He put it aside and stood up, rubbing his stomach when it growled again.
Maybe tomorrow he’d find something. Tomorrow was usually better.
He just had to stay healthy. If he got sick, there was no one who would take care of him. If someone noticed him, he had to hope they weren’t looking for someone smaller than themselves. And when he slept, he had to wake up again.
That was all.
Aseren didn’t think there was anything strange about it. Seven-year-olds were supposed to have someone worrying about whether they’d eaten, whether they were warm, whether they were safe.
He didn’t have anyone.
So he worried about those things himself.
He looked around the abandoned sector before starting toward the place where he slept.
Maybe tomorrow would be better.
It usually had to be.
He walked until his legs hurt, then found a place beside the remains of an old building and sat down.
The wall behind him was cold, but he liked having something against his back. It meant nobody could come from that side.
Aseren pulled his knees up and rested his chin on them.
His stomach hurt.
He was hungry enough that it was starting to feel strange. His hands felt weak, and every now and then, his head became a little fuzzy. He knew what that meant. He had felt it before.
He needed food.
But there wasn’t any.
Aseren stared at the ground for a while.
Sometimes, on days like this, he wished he didn’t wake up.
It wasn’t a scary thought. He didn’t really understand why it should be.
If he stayed asleep, he wouldn’t feel hungry.
He wouldn’t have to wake up in the cold and wonder where his breakfast was.
Maybe sleeping forever was easier.
Aseren rubbed his eyes.
"...Maybe I can just sleep."
He looked around.
Nobody was there.
"Just for a little while."
His voice sounded small in the empty street.
He curled up against the wall and closed his eyes.
He was still hungry.
His stomach made another quiet sound.
Aseren frowned.
"Shh..."
He pressed both hands against it.
"It’s okay."
He wasn’t sure who he was saying it to.
"I’m not gonna cry."
He stayed quiet for a moment.
Then, in a much smaller voice, he whispered,
"...I don’t wanna wake up tomorrow."
The words disappeared into the empty sector.
There wasn’t anybody to reply.
Aseren eventually fell asleep anyway.
Aseren didn’t know how long he slept.
When he opened his eyes again, everything felt wrong.
His body wouldn’t move properly. His fingers were cold, his head felt heavy, and even breathing seemed like too much work. He tried to sit up but only managed to shift against the wall before slipping back down.
He wasn’t hungry anymore.
Usually, his stomach would ache when he hadn’t eaten. He’d feel hungry, weak, and tired. But now there was nothing. No hunger. Just a strange emptiness inside him, followed by sharp twists of pain that made him curl tighter against the wall.
His body felt cold.
He couldn’t feel his stomach anymore.
Aseren stared at the gray ground in front of him.
Maybe he really was going to die.
The thought came quietly.
He didn’t feel scared.
He was mostly wondering if it would hurt.
He was so tired that he didn’t even notice the footsteps approaching him.
"...I’m sorry."
He didn’t know who he was apologizing to.
Maybe the orphanage.
Maybe someone who had never existed.
Maybe himself.
His breathing became slower.
Then he heard footsteps.
Aseren’s eyes opened slightly.
Someone was walking toward him.
He couldn’t make out the person’s face at first. His vision was blurry, and the light behind them made it difficult to see.
Aseren tried to move, but he could not.
The footsteps stopped.
A small voice came from above him.
"Are you okay?"
Aseren blinked.
He hadn’t heard that question in a long time.
He tried to answer, but his throat was too dry.
"...Hungry."
The girl went quiet.
Then he heard her move closer.
"You’re hungry?"
Aseren nodded weakly.
She crouched in front of him.
He could barely see her through his blurred vision.
Then she smiled.
And for the first time in his life, Aseren saw something that wasn’t gray.
Her hair was blue.
Not gray.
Not pale gray.
Blue.
Aseren stared at her.
He forgot about his hunger.
Forgot about the cold.
Forgot that he was lying on the ground waiting to die.
He had never seen anything like it.
The girl tilted her head.
"Why are you staring at me?"
Aseren didn’t answer.
He couldn’t.
He was too busy looking at the first color he had ever seen.
Then she noticed his stomach growl.
Her expression changed.
"Oh."
She reached behind herself and pulled out a bag.
"I have food."
Aseren’s eyes followed it.
The smell reached him.
His stomach twisted painfully.
The girl opened the bag and looked inside before holding it toward him.
"You can have some."
Aseren stared at the food.
Then at her.
"...All of it?"
She looked confused.
"Yeah? I have plenty at home anyway!"
She said it as though it were the most obvious thing in the world.
"Why?"
She blinked.
"I dunno."
She thought about it for a moment.
Then smiled again.
"I just wanted you to have it."
Aseren didn’t understand.
People didn’t just give things away.
Especially food.
His fingers trembled as he reached for the bag.
He was afraid she would change her mind.
Fortunately, she didn’t.
And for the first time in his life, someone had given him something without asking for anything in return.
Aseren had barely taken the bag when he heard something approaching from the street.
It was louder than anything that usually passed through the abandoned sector.
He looked up.
A large car had stopped nearby.
The door opened.
A man stepped out.
He was dressed neatly, far too neatly for the abandoned sector. His eyes immediately found the girl.
"Lady Renal."
The girl looked over.
"You’re here."
The man’s expression tightened.
"I explicitly asked you to remain inside the vehicle."
Renal lowered her head slightly.
"The driver was taking too long. I was bored, Edward."
"Boredom does not permit wandering into the gutter, My Lady."
He glanced toward Aseren.
His expression changed.
It wasn’t surprise.
It was disgust.
"Step away from the stray."
Aseren froze.
The man stepped closer to Renal and lowered his voice, though not enough for Aseren to miss it.
"These vermin live in the dirt for a reason. You have no business speaking to street sediment, much less handing over family provisions."
Aseren looked down at himself.
His clothes were dirty. His hands were covered in grime. He probably smelled terrible.
He looked at Renal.
Then at the man.
"Oh."
He suddenly understood.
She wasn’t like him.
He had read about people like her before.
The comics sometimes talked about them.
They lived in better districts.
Went to better schools.
Ate better food.
People like Aseren were called Commonblood.
He had never really cared about the word before.
Now, hearing the way that man said it, he understood what it meant.
To someone like Renal, he wasn’t a person from the same world.
He was just some street kid.
A commonblood.
Aseren tightened his fingers around the bag she had given him.
The man looked at him again.
"Do not look at her again."
Aseren nodded quickly.
"Yes, sir."
He wasn’t angry.
He didn’t think he was allowed to be.
Renal looked between them, her expression becoming slightly confused.
"He didn’t do anything, Edward. His stomach was making noise."
"The transport, Lady Renal. Immediately."
She hesitated.
Then she looked back at Aseren.
For some reason, she smiled.
"Don’t let them get cold! They’re better while they’re hot."
Aseren stared at her.
"...Thanks."
The door closed.
The car pulled away, leaving him sitting alone beside the ruined building.
Aseren looked down at the bag in his hands.
It was still warm.
He held it a little tighter.
Aseren waited until the car disappeared down the street before looking at the bag again.
He opened it carefully.
Inside were dumplings.
He had seen them before. He had never actually eaten one.
There were more than he expected.
Aseren picked one up and took a small bite.
He stopped.
It was warm.
He stared at it for a moment before taking another bite. Then another. Soon, the dumpling was gone.
He reached for another.
The food was good. Better than anything he could remember eating.
Aseren ate slowly this time, trying to make it last. Every now and then, his eyes drifted toward the road where the car had disappeared.
Renal.
That was her name.
He repeated it quietly.
"Renal..."
He didn’t know where she lived or when he would see her again. For all he knew, that might have been the last time their paths crossed.
Aseren didn’t want that.
He looked down at his dirty hands.
The man’s words came back to him.
Vermin.
Commonblood.
For some reason, they bothered him more than he expected.
Maybe because the man wasn’t wrong.
Aseren was a commonblood. He lived in the abandoned sectors, searched through garbage for things to sell, and sometimes went to sleep hungry.
Renal lived in a completely different world.
But that didn’t mean it had to stay that way.
Aseren looked at the bag in his hands.
He had spent his entire life worrying about the next meal. Now, for the first time, there was something else he wanted.
He wanted to see her again.
And when he did, he didn’t want to be sitting in the dirt.
He wanted to be better.
He wanted to learn.
He wanted to leave this place.
Aseren took another dumpling.
"...I’ll see you again."
It was a childish promise.
He didn’t know how he’d keep it.
Aseren took the final dumpling from the bag and placed it whole into his mouth. He chewed slowly, tasting the rich, savory broth and seasoned meat until every trace of warmth faded from his tongue.
He didn’t throw the grease-stained paper bag away. Instead, he smoothed out the wrinkles with his bruised fingers, folded it into a small, neat square, and tucked it deep inside the inner pocket of his ragged cloth, right against his ribs.
He stood up, resting his back against the wall until his knees locked into place.
The wind came crawling down the narrow alleyway. Aseren didn’t flinch. He raised his pale, dirt-smeared face to the heavy sky overhead.
Everything around him was gray.
Except for the ghost of a color imprinted on his retinas.
He closed his eyes, and in the quiet dark behind his eyelids, it blazed like a solitary ember.
Aseren slowly opened his eyes again.
He looked down at his filthy palms, then back toward the empty street where the car had disappeared.
"Keep the gray," he whispered.
He took a step forward, leaving the cold wall behind.
"I’m going to chase the blue."