"I'd rather she live."…
The winter in Qiwu Palace was colder than imagined. In previous years when the palace was bustling, Song Zhiluan never liked staying here, always preferring to run off to the Eastern Palace. Now with the palace staff diminished, this habit only intensified.
Zhinu probably knew this, and thus went to great lengths creating little toys to cheer her up.
The day before yesterday it was a snowman, yesterday a tumbler doll, and today who knew what she was tinkering with – she'd been missing since morning.
Yunu leaned against the doorway, occasionally glancing toward Song Zhiluan's position.
Her brocade dress, vibrant with floral patterns, trailed along the floor as she languidly lay over the incense table, cheeks slightly flushed, with tiny glistening sweat beads emerging at the tip of her nose.
Even though Her Highness had been married before and was now divorced, Yunu still felt she retained a certain charming innocence.
In winter, Yunu's old wounds always grew itchy, with a dull, persistent ache.
The head injury was particularly tormenting when it flared up.
But she had learned to maintain an expressionless composure.
These winter days, having Zhinu and the princess by her side, were already a life she had once only dreamed of. For a long period in her past, winter had meant hunger, cold, and fear.
She and Zhinu were born in a Northern Dynasty military camp. Their mother was once an official's daughter from the Northern Court, but due to false accusations, their entire clan was exiled.
By the time she gave birth to Zhinu, their mother was already half-mad.
During her fits of madness, their mother would grab her head and smash it against the ground, cursing her as an abomination. Yet she would also hide steamed buns, light a small fire, and share them with her and Zhinu in winter, teaching them to recite poetry and write characters.
When Zhinu was young, she was jade-like and adorable. The birthmark under her eye, considered ominous and looked down upon by everyone, ironically became her best protection.
But as she grew older, more people began to eye her with ill intentions.
Once, she nearly got sent into the tents to serve as entertainment.
She could no longer tolerate it and decided to escape with Zhinu and their mother.
Their mother broke both her legs, snarling viciously: "So eager to die? I should have strangled you at birth."
Not long after, their mother would weep and apologize to her.
Yunu silently bandaged her legs, gradually growing somewhat numb.
The night before their second escape attempt, Yunu watched their sleeping mother, didn't wake her, and said: "In the next life, don't give birth to me and my sister."
She carried Zhinu and fled from the spot they had rehearsed hundreds of times.
That day was surprisingly smooth – guards were nowhere to be seen along the way, no one noticed them.
Only later did she learn that their mother had paved their escape with her own body.
Yunu often wondered: if she had looked back that day, perhaps she would have seen a pair of despairing yet relieved eyes, brimming with tears.
Their mother's eyes.
When she saw their mother again, she was already a corpse, the unborn child in her womb having bled to death with her.
Yunu stepped inside.
She had lost important people in winter – such heavy snow always made her somewhat uneasy.
When an arrow shot through the door, this unease became reality.
Song Zhiluan was sleeping groggily. When Yunu picked her up to leave, she was slow to react. "What's happening?"
"Assassins, Your Highness. Quickly, into the secret chamber."
Outside, fierce fighting erupted, the clashing of swords and spears ringing out as palace maids and eunuchs scattered in panic.
Song Zhiluan hadn't heard the word "assassins" in so long. Resting on Yunu's shoulder, her eyes turned bleak as she murmured: "Yunu, you see? He still refuses to let me go."
Since being placed under house arrest in the Guo Gong Fu that night until now, she had always believed her imperial brother would protect her life out of sibling affection.
Yet the next day, the phoenix carriage to escort her into the palace still arrived before her.
She was originally someone Xie Yujin wanted dead—he had said so on the day he proposed separation. If she had any requests, she could voice them. Now, had he discovered her secret communications with Song Huaizhang and decided to move against her first?
Song Zhiluan's heart grew colder than the snow outside. Brought into the secret chamber and seeing the fully equipped instruments inside, she grabbed Yunu's hand as the latter was about to leave: "This imperial city is empty—the princes and princesses have all departed. They're coming for my life, Yunu. You cannot take me away, nor will reinforcements arrive."
No one would come to save them.
Having already been abandoned once by Song Dingyuan, becoming Song Huaizhang's pawn again mattered little.
But Yunu and Zhinu still had a chance to escape.
She possessed no martial skills and would only become their burden.
Understanding her meaning, Yunu firmly grasped her wrist and declared with grave seriousness, "Your Highness, trust me."
Song Zhiluan looked at her, words caught in her throat.
Yet ultimately, a flicker of deep contemplation passed through her eyes, and she nodded under Yunu's gaze.
After Yunu departed, Song Zhiluan surveyed her surroundings. Due to her health condition, medicinal materials were stocked in every corner—staying here for several days wouldn't pose any problem.
She took a jade vial, brewed a pot of tea, and poured powder into the tea.
The next one to open the secret chamber might be friend or foe. Judging by the commotion outside, the approaching party was undoubtedly numerous. Those daring to cause chaos on this day must have made thorough preparations. Yet she wondered why she could provoke him to such extent.
Moreover, at this point, the only one in the Imperial City who could be considered a friend was Xu Yaochen.
But he had left for his post in Chuzhou yesterday.
When noises came from the secret chamber again, despite all mental preparation, Song Zhiluan still secretly tightened her grip on the teacup when facing death.
"Your Highness?"
Hearing Zhinu's voice, Song Zhiluan's heartbeat gradually slowed. Anxiously embracing Zhinu, she asked, "Why have you returned? Didn't you see the assassins surrounding us?"
Zhinu, who had feared finding the chamber empty, felt lingering fear seeing Song Zhiluan safe. "What are you saying, Your Highness? I returned precisely because I saw assassins everywhere. It's just a pity I hadn't finished making the kite—I originally wanted to gift it to you once the weather cleared."
Song Zhiluan watched her produce a crumpled kite head from her bosom—merely a painted sketch. She wanted to smile, but as her lips curved, tears welled in her eyes: "At a time like this, and you're still thinking about playing?"
Beneath her calm exterior, she was far from composed—shocked, terrified, and overwhelmed with dread. They say those who have experienced desperation face death more calmly, yet Song Zhiluan grew even more afraid.
Utterly uncontrollable.
Zhinu made a chastised, dejected expression. "But Your Highness, it's been so long since we last flew kites together."
Wiping her tears, Song Zhiluan said, "Have some tea and tell me about the situation outside."
Zhinu nodded, accepting the cup and drinking. "There are countless assassins outside—they're even killing passing palace servants along the way. The Golden Guard seems to have vanished…"
Song Zhiluan sat quietly, listening to Zhinu's account while occasionally glancing at the teacup in her hand.
But suddenly, her head spun.
Shaking her head, she leaned on the table and looked at Zhinu, her pupils trembling. "Zhinu, you…"
Zhinu had fallen silent by now, watching Song Zhiluan whose eyelids grew heavy. Her gaze brimmed with attachment, but just as she was about to speak, a wave of dizziness struck her.
Her hand slammed onto the armrest with a thud, and she froze in place.
The two stared at each other, their expressions shifting repeatedly.
Since they shared the same thought, it wasn't hard to guess how this situation had come about.
At that moment, Yunu opened the secret chamber and entered. Seeing the two slumped weakly in their chairs, her heart skipped a beat, and she instinctively scanned the hidden corners of the room.
Finding nothing amiss, she rushed to their side and asked thoughtfully, "Zhinu, what's going on?"
Song Zhiluan, utterly drained, couldn't move a muscle. Tears welled up uncontrollably—the fear that had been mounting over the days was nearly crushing her. "Yunu, take Zhinu and leave. With your martial skills, getting her to safety won't be a problem."
Zhinu struggled to lift her hand and grasped Yunu's, warm tears streaming down. "Yunu, take the princess away. Don't be reckless. Our lives were saved by Her Highness, and she helped us avenge our mother. Now is the time to repay that debt."
"Zhinu, you've long since repaid it. How could I ask you to sacrifice your lives now?"
"I won't be sacrificing mine! Even if captured, Zhinu has ways to survive. Only you, Your Highness, still treat me like a child. My life is cheap—I could live on grass and mud if I had to. But you're different, Your Highness. Your body couldn't endure it."
"Nonsense. You're so much younger than me—what else are you if not a child?"
"I am not!"
"You are."
Song Zhiluan, realizing they likely wouldn't survive the day, couldn't hold back her tears. "What a wretched life I've lived. If in the next life you're still by my side, I'll make sure you live in the greatest splendor. Zhinu, then you can make anyone eat mud if you wish, and see who dares say your fate is ill."
Yunu watched as the two bickered childishly, soon descending into soft sobs, and felt her own tears welling up.
Though Yunu's martial arts were strong, facing a siege and trying to escort two non-combatants to safety was nearly impossible. Even if she took one first, the one left behind would likely not survive. And attempting a return would mean walking into a trap—Yunu re-entering the palace would only mean throwing her life away.
Song Zhiluan feared Yunu would choose to take her and abandon Zhinu. Unable to knock someone out, she thought of drugging Zhinu instead, so Yunu would have no choice but to take her.
Yunu said, "Making me choose between you two—I can't do it. Your Highness, forgive my impertinence, but I've long regarded you as my own sister."
Song Zhiluan wept even louder.
She had intended to spare Yunu this impossible choice. Whomever Yunu chose today, she would live with guilt until her dying day. So if Zhinu were unconscious, Yunu would have an irrefutable reason to take her away.
Leaving an unconscious person here was a death sentence.
At least someone awake stood a chance.
Yet Zhinu had thought the same.
They always had such tacit understanding.
In this world, aside from her elder sister, Yunu and Zhinu would never betray her.
After her crying subsided, Song Zhiluan suddenly heard Zhinu laugh softly. She couldn't help but laugh too.
"Alright, now none of us are leaving. I feel like I'll black out soon."
With her eyes closed, Zhinu smiled and said, "Then let us die together, Your Highness."
Seeing that she had already lost consciousness, Song Zhiluan took one last reluctant look at Zhinu before turning to Yunu. "I'm sorry, Yunu… I've still forced you into an impossible position…"
Take Zhinu away.
I would rather she live.
Song Zhiluan lacked the strength to voice these last two sentences before darkness engulfed her vision and consciousness slipped away.